15 Kids Who Need A Timeout Until They Are Full Grown Adults

In: Lifestyle
15 Kids Who Need A Timeout Until They Are Full Grown Adults

Not every kid is an angel that ascended to Earth on a rainbow of awesome to spread buckets of joy. Most kids are natural experimenters prone to pushing buttons and testing their limits. For example, some kids may try dropping the f-bomb when they are mad. Others may go further and attempt to feed the bird to the cat. A few might even try feeding the cat to the bird. You probably want to speak to your pediatrician (or your exorcist) in that case.

Call it growing pains, or call it all a part of life. What follows are 15 examples of kids who messed up so bad, they need a timeout until they are of legal age to vote. And if you don’t believe in timeouts, then feel free to imagine whatever alternative punishment you deem fit for these kid related, mini-disasters.

15. Young Girl Steals Her Mother’s Fingerprint And Hits Up Amazon

Via: time.com

A while back I wrote an article about kids who inadvertently purchased various items online. The big takeaway from that piece was parents needed to step up security on their mobile devices and accounts. One way to do so is to use a biometric login on your Smartphone so that it’s only activated by your fingerprint. Seems like a solid idea right? Like something straight out of the movies.

However, a child hell-bent on buying Pokémon toys can get real creative. According to a 2016 story published in The Wall Street Journal, a six-year-old girl waited until her mom was asleep and pressed her mother’s thumb against the fingerprint reader on the phone (like in the movies). Once the device was unlocked, it was smooth sailing on Amazon. When the young girl’s parents realized they were in the hole for $250 worth of Pokémon toys, they confronted their child. The girl explained that she was just “shopping”. No wonder this story was reported about in The Wall Street Journal. The girl is a natural.

14. Child Steals Car And Crashes It, But He Had An Epic Cover Story

Via: dailymail.co.uk

In 2014, Daily Mail reported two parents in Norway woke up to a horrifying sight. The parents discovered that both of their children were missing and someone had stolen their car. As it turns out, their 10 year old had simply woken up extra early, taken his little sister and decided to head off to their grandparents’ house. No need to wake mom or dad; he simply let them sleep in.

Because most 10 years olds suck at driving, the kid didn’t get very far before he rammed the car into a snowy ditch. The fact that nobody was hurt is a miracle. But really the best part of this story is that the kid reportedly told the snowplow driver at the scene of the accident that he was a dwarf who had forgotten his driver’s license. I’m going to repeat that because it’s incredible. His cover story was that he was a dwarf who had left his driver’s license at home. Brilliant.

13. Joyride!

Via: cc.com

How about one more stolen car tale? The kid in our next story, which took place in Florida in 2008, is one of the most brutally honest in all 15 of our entries. This seven-year-old viral superstar stole his grandmother’s SUV and went for a joyride with his seven-year-old pal. He explained to reporters (and later Tosh.0) exactly why he did it. One reason was because he was mad at his mother…okay I get that. No need to steal a car over it, but I get it. His second reason was that it was “fun to do bad things”. That would be the overly honest statement that went on to gain internet fame.

The aftermath of the incident was damage to four cars, which the kid smashed along the way, two obliterated mailboxes, a side-swiped road sign and his grandmother’s wrecked SUV. Vuz TV followed up with the kid in 2015 and thankfully he was doing better and had straightened out.

12. Desperate Mother Asks Internet For Help

Via: mamapedia.com

When you turn to the internet for guidance about something serious, that means you are flat out of ideas. Such was the case with the unfortunate woman who posted on mamapedia as documented above. Back in 2010, a mother posted that her nine-year-old son was basically making her life a living hell by constantly faking injuries. Throughout her post the mom cited many examples of ‘boy who cried ouch’ scenarios.

A quick overview reveals that the woman’s child faked a toothache which cost her out of pocket money, a sprained ankle for which he demanded crutches and he also claimed his vision was so bad he needed glasses. You know, the ones like Harry Potter wears…to help magically cure his blindness.

11. Grand Theft Koala

Via: pinterest.com

The whole point of visiting a zoo is to check out the wildlife, take some photos, buy some ridiculously overpriced plush toys and get out of the house for a day. No where in that equation is there any gray area that allows visitors to take home zoo animals. That didn’t stop two teenagers from stealing two koala bears from the San Francisco Zoo in December of 2000. Surprisingly the teens didn’t steal the animals in celebration of surviving the Y2K apocalypse…they just did it to score some points with their girlfriends.

Following a tip, police caught the teens and they were charged with possession of stolen property, burglary and grand theft. Predictably, teenagers are about as good at taking care of koalas as they are taking care of themselves. By the time the koalas were returned to the zoo, they were totally starving. Apparently koala bears can’t survive on Oreo cookies, pizza or fries. Instead, they require a specialized diet that consists of eucalyptus leaves. Adorable but fussy creatures.

10. The Great Pluto Mystery

Here’s a viral video that’s been floating around the internet for about a decade now. Unfortunately the video only features the aftermath of an incident that has now become a legend. Anyone who has ever been to any of the Disney parks knows how happy, friendly and non-threatening all of the costumed Disney characters are. With that in mind, the image of Pluto angrily chasing a kid around is surreal.

Why in God’s name was Pluto pursuing a child as if the kid stole his dog biscuit? Well according to tons of supposed witnesses, the consensus is the event was sparked by the child pulling Pluto’s tail. After having his tale pulled, Pluto jokingly wagged his finger at the boy. At that point the boy allegedly kicked Pluto as hard as humanly possible in his crotch. A rather unpleasant chase then took place and at least one park visitor caught that portion of the incident.

9. Don’t Let Kids Touch Anything

Via: babble.com

Because kids can be a handful, stressed parents have unified on the internet to cry on each other’s shoulders about their kid’s misdeeds. One site that parents frequent is apparently sh*itmykidsruined. As we all know, laughter is the best medicine. I could’ve probably filled up most of this list with pics from this site alone. In the interest of maintaining variety though, let’s just check out a select few. The first image, seen above, pretty much speaks for itself.

The information attached to this photo was as follows: “If you ever have the slightest thought that you should secure your car keys while away from home even for a couple hours don’t even think just DO!!” – Anonymous

Good looking out Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous. The rest of the world will take note of your warning…as we giggle at your misfortune.

8. Why? Just Why?

Via: babble.com

The caption which accompanies this second photo was as follows: “Our youngest was in the bathroom, had been there for a long time. I checked on her, knocked on the door, asked if everything was alright. She answered yes, and I didn’t think anything of it. Then my wife went to check, because the girl was calling for help. This is what she found. Minty fresh poo smell!” – Harry

I have a few issues with this story. Why was the computer even in the bathroom to begin with? Also, if a kid is left alone in a room that is typically wet and filled with soaps, lotions and shampoos – what else would you expect to happen to a computer? I’m shocked the thing didn’t end up floating in the toilet.

7. Pricey Lego Sculpture Toppled

Via: mentalfloss.com

The pic on the left is an awesome Lego version of Nick Wilde from the Disney hit, Zootopia. The Lego block sculpture was created by an enthusiast named Zhao in China. The statue was made using ten thousand Lego bricks and it took three frantic days to finish. The sculptor, Zhao rushed to complete the piece so it would be ready in time for a huge promotional event at the Wanda Plaza shopping Center in Ningbo, Zhejiang province. That’s the cool part of the story. And now for the lousy part, which, of course, involves the pic on the right.

The sad, shattered mess on the floor is the result of a four-year-old boy who accidentally pushed over the Lego sculpture. The piece was only on display for less than an hour before it was destroyed. Visitors coming in to check out the piece probably didn’t even have time to find parking. No big deal you say? Well, it was valued at over $15,000…so there is that. Although the boy’s parents apologized for the accident, the sculptor didn’t blame the child for turning his artwork into a pile of Lego rubble. In fact, he didn’t even seek compensation from the family. Nice guy, maybe too nice.

6. 221 Year Old Jug Shattered Into 221 Smaller Pieces

Via: huffingtonpost.com

Lego sculptures aren’t the only thing four year olds can accidentally knock over. According to a 2015 Huffington Post article, one young boy who was visiting the Christchurch Mansion in Ipswich, Suffolk, inadvertently destroyed an 18th century Delft puzzle jug.

One important point about this story is that apparently the unidentified kid was pretty emotional over the incident. Also, the broken artwork was eventually restored. Well, it was repaired as much as it could be, all things considered. The fixed jug is back on display at the Ipswich Art School Gallery. The museum staff publicly urged the boy and his family to come check it out, but they have yet to do so. My guess is maybe the kid and his family want to stay away from museums for a little while. Wise choice.

5. Kid Stays In The Lines…But Destroys Stone-Age Carving

Via: mentalfloss.com

We travel once again to Norway for another story about a kid gone wild. Actually, I shouldn’t really say the kid in this story went ‘wild’. More like…creatively destructive. As reported on Artnet, a historical carving located at Røøya on the island of Tro, titled “The Skier” was permanent damaged by a boy who traced over it with a very sharp rock. Not that tracing over the carving with a dull rock would have been any better.

Supposedly the young boy was only trying to make the carving more visible by retracing the lines and digging deeper into the stone. Doing so of course is the equivalent of using a Sharpie Marker and tracing over the “Mona Lisa” to help accentuate her mysterious expression. The mayor of the local municipality, had this to say about the matter: “They were trying to make it more visible actually, and I don’t think they understood how serious it was. I think now they understand.” If you say so mayor, I’d keep the kid away from Leonardo da Vinci’s paintings though.

4. Boy Steals His Mother’s Diamond Ring…And Proposes with It

The YouTube video above basically speaks for itself. The vid features a UK dad (and soon to be father-in-law) and his young daughter. As the man’s wife laughs non-stop in the background, the cheery father explains that their young daughter had been proposed to by a boy in school. Sounds like a typical ‘young love’, type scenario. Until…

The hilarious part is that the boy who proposed apparently stole his mother’s diamond ring, brought it to school and used it for his own romantic purposes. Unless the kid has a secret job that pays pretty damn well, he likely can’t afford such a high-priced item. “Tommy has stolen his mother’s engagement ring with three enormous diamonds and proposed to Millie…Go on then Tommy!” Clearly the boy at least has the blessings of his fiancé’s parents; which is rarely an easy thing to obtain. Considering how often kids lose hats, gloves and all kinds of things, the thought of kids fumbling around in school with a diamond ring is a nightmare.

3. Everyone In This Story Needs An Extended Timeout

Via: hyperallergic.com

Sometimes parents/adults can be partially blamed when kids get out of order. However, in other instances, those watching the kids are just as much at fault. That’s obviously the case in this particular story. As reported on hyperallergic.com, two young children in the Shanghai Museum of Glass in China are clearly seen doing everything possible to break the valuable artwork. One kid is karate chopping the air right next to the piece, the other is yanking on the art like it’s a ‘Break Me Elmo’ toy. Naturally the art was eventually shattered.

The worst part of the vid is that the “adults” idiotically stood by and filmed the scene of chaos as if it was a graduation ceremony. The damaged sculpture is titled, “Angel Is Waiting” and it’s by artist Shelly Xue. Despite the fact that the work was blocked off by rope barriers, that didn’t stop the kids from doing some serious damage. The artist spent nearly 27 months creating the piece which was dedicated to her newborn daughter. From the looks of the video, it took less than 27 seconds for 2 kids (and the worst chaperones in existence) to ruin it.

2. Fake Sick Note Is Strangely Disturbing

Via: huffingtonpost.com

I admit, a nine-year old kid writing a phony letter to get out of going to school may not be as out there as some of the other entries on this list. However, the sheer audacity of the letter at least deserves recognition in my view. Is the note comedy gold? You bet your ass it is. “I can’t talk and I’m having a hard time breathing. I don’t think I can go to school today. I also only can not move around or I will stop breathing.”

Stop breathing? Jeez…that last line is both hilarious and disturbing. The implication seems to be that a mysterious respiratory illness has taken grip on a young, hapless boy. But if that’s really the case, watching cartoons at home and missing a single day of school doesn’t seem to be wise at all. This boy needs to be in a hospital damn it! Anyway, the letter came from a Reddit user and it’s obviously a special kind of genius.

1. We Don’t Need No Education

Via: stv.tv

There was no way on earth to get through an article like this without at least one story involving fire. In October of last year, the Wellbrae Primary School building in Forfar, Scotland was mysteriously torched. Thankfully the school had been abandoned since 2008 and there were no injuries resulting from the fire. That fact alone though doesn’t make the situation any less messed up.

According to stv.tv and eveningtelegraph, about fifty firefighters and six fire engines were called in to battle the blaze. There was even an aerial rescue unit on the scene because the fire was so bad the roof caved in. Who started the fire? Well since this is an article about unruly kids I’m sure you already know the answer. A 12 year old and two 11-year-old boys were eventually charged for the crime. And with that, suddenly all of the other stuff discussed earlier doesn’t look nearly as bad in comparison.


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