15 Liars On Social Media Who Cannot, Under Any Circumstances, Be Trusted

In: Fails
15 Liars On Social Media Who Cannot, Under Any Circumstances, Be Trusted

Excellent liars can get away with huge lies for years before being found out. Social media makes it possible for a talented liar to build a false persona with a huge crowd to get more of whatever they are looking for: praise, pity, naughty selfies or even a free pizza.

But the following list of numbskulls are NOT talented liars. They couldn’t hide keys from a blind baby. And when caught, they often double-down.

As Yogi Berra once said, “half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.”

While we’re trying to figure out what that means, here’s a few liars we soooo love calling out…

15. Try again, kid

via: ebaumsworld.com

Hahaha. Well, this kid wants to grow up fast!

You’ve got to almost admire a kid that steps up to the plate and takes a swing with such whoppers. Big swings kid! Big swings and misses! No you didn’t perform that maneuver, no that’s not how you got a nosebleed, and no she didn’t climax seven times. That’s three strikes—you’re outta here!

It’s a weird generation now, where you can learn the birds and the bees from explicit internet videos before you’ve even taken the training wheels off your bike. So we have kids like this, sh*t talking about how great they are in bed, when they’re still probably 10 years away from getting their virginity cards punched. P.S., if you get a nosebleed, you’re doing it wrong.

14. In the club, part 1

via: sarcasmsociety.com

In the ’70s horror movie When a Stranger Calls, a babysitter is terrorized by a caller who keeps on asking her if she’s “checked the children.” Frazzled, she reports it to the police, who tell her the calls are coming from inside the house!

This text exchange reminds us of that. It’s like we’re screaming at characters in a horror movie. Oh, gurl, don’t text him that you’re in bed! Don’t do it! Oh no, gurl! He’s texting from inside the club! He’s right behind you! You done got caught! Think fast or RUN!

But the only difference is we kind of want her to get caught, and would pay cash money to see the look on her face. Yeah, that’s definitely popcorn worthy.

13. In the club, part 2

via: viralnova.com

Well, here’s an interesting reversal. Instead of lying about being home when actually at the club, this woman is lying about being in the club when she’s actually at home in her PJs, drinking Natty Ice.

Interesting motivation. Whereas the girl who got caught at the club with her boyfriend right behind her was probably trying to get a little extra on the side, this one is just trying to look cool.

And it’s such an unimaginative and generic lie. “Music is pumpin’, drinks are flowin and I guess I’m looking fine since I’ve been getting the VIP treatment since I walked through the door.” Of course, her bestie isn’t having it and immediately calls her out. “We just had a conversation about toilet paper. Am I f***ing dreaming?” Busted.

12. Bra collection

via: sarcasmsociety.com

If you’re going to attempt to have a few girls on the side, you’re gonna have to learn how to be a waaaaay better liar.

Mistake #1: Leaving incriminating bras all over your house.

Mistake #2: Asking your girlfriend about a highly specific bra, “Is it the black 38-C”

And his girlfriend points out, “whoah. How many girls bras do you have over there? I am not a 38-C!!!

Mistake #3: Panicking and flailing, “oh wait. There’s no black bra. Who says there’s a black bra? That’s a bunch of nonsense!

Dude. This is some next-level flailing. As his buddy points out, “…wow Johnny…fail…”

Next time you’re caught with multiple bras in the house, best to just throw them all away and say you can’t find it. Or better yet, try not to be a cheating douchebag.

11. Told off my boss (#2)

via: qatarscoop.com

So a lazy worker fancies himself a hero, and concocts a story about how he is the white knight who saved some poor girl from savage harassment by his boss. The boss couldn’t take the insubordination and fired him on the spot. So lazy decides to post the fake story on social media so everyone can stroke his ego. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, just your fellow co-workers calling you out instantly and naming the real reason you got fired. Namely: you’re lazy, you show up late, you don’t clean the bathroom and your workstation is filthy. They’re tired of picking up after your f**k ups, bro! As your fellow worker said, “own up to your mistakes and stop being a little b*tch about it.”

10. “Egg Flip”

via: qatarscoop.com

Often bad liars expose themselves by making the lie too big and grandiose. There’s a lot about this picture that totally gives it away.

First, it was obviously taken by a professional photographer. The photo is gorgeous, perfect colors and composition, and taken with a high-speed shudder. You can see individual bits of powder in motion with no blurring. Two, the snowboard and snowsuit are perfect, color coordinated, and super style-y.

But the worst is that the would-be “shredder” stole the photo from the most basic image search for “snowboard backflip.” Dude, if you’re going to steal images and pass them off as your own, try nabbing one from page 10 of a search rather than the first result. You’re probably lousing at cheating, too.

9. Busted twice

via: qatarscoop.com

Another problem with lying is sometimes you have to spin it with other lies to make the original lie work. But you’re actually making it easier for the whole thing to come apart, like pants that are on fire.

This woman didn’t want to spend time with her friend that evening. Rather than just tell her the truth, she spun a tale about covering for her boss (lie #1) because his father died (lie #2). And then she posted that she was out having drinks with her hubby, exposing her lie to both her friend and her boss.

The fallout is immediate. Her friend says, “you didn’t have to make up such a terrible excuse.” Her boss, “My dad is very much alive.” Facepalm. Even kids are better at lying than this.

8. Taco Bell

via: viralnova.com

You’ve got to be pretty dumb to lie about a promotion from a major fast food company. Taco Bell, like most big fast-food operations, has a dedicated staff that’s paid cash money for marketing, social media and public relations. It’s going to be hard to slip one past them, especially when you use the hashtag #TbellDeliver.

So if you’re spinning tall tales in exchange for likes, don’t be surprised when that doesn’t pan out. Taco Bell immediately puts the kibosh on the tweet, announcing to Zach, “The image is fake, and the promotion does not exist.” Well, that’s pretty much it, Zach. You’re going to have to get up off of your couch and drive to Taco Bell in order buy food from the organization that just humiliated you.

7. Tubby custard

via: qatarscoop.com

The sad part about this one is that what the girl is saying about mechanically separated chicken is largely true. The process she is describing is actually what happens in the industrial process to create chicken nuggets and chicken patties.

But the image is a total lie. She just lifted a pic from the dessert-making machine in Teletubbies. Worse, the lie is totally unnecessary—pictures of actual pink slime are just as bad. Why exaggerate? Now no one is going to believe your crazy healthy food conspiracy theories, even if they’re mostly true.

P.S. no one really wants to know how chicken nuggets are made. It’s ground up Teletubbies. The brutal truth will just make them angry anyway, so best not bring it up.

6. Not dead yet

via: sarcasmsociety.com

Some people really take lies too far. By the looks of it, he’s been telling this lie for a long time, as it’s pretty detailed and describes what sounds like an emotional moment when he experienced his girlfriend’s death. Only two problems. That’s not his girlfriend, and she’s still alive. Worse, he’s a complete stranger to her.

As lies go, this one is pretty complex. But still, so easily discovered and called out. It’s so weird—he’s so hungry for attention that he made up his own little soap opera. Should she be flattered? Scared? Should she lock her doors and buy a weapon?

It’s a creep move. Maybe next time, he should pick someone who is dead already. Or, you know, just try not to be not be such a pathetic liar.

5. Filter of lies

via: viralnova.com

Now here’s a guy that’s incapable of humility. Sort of textbook narcissist lie, where the only purpose is to trumpet your attributes to the world. He pumps himself up first by saying on his “homegirls” painted him. And then, “Dang, I’m soooo fine.”

Hey fine dude! You know all those filters on your instagram? Everyone else has them too. The only people you might fool are your grandparents who still have a hard time figuring out how social media works.

And as lies go, the motivation is so laughable. “Look how awesome I am! I got a girl to paint a picture of how fine I am! Go me!” One girl immediately saw through the dumb charade and posted, “your homegirl must be an excellent at filtering.”

4. Pizza promotion

via: ebaumsworld.com

I’m sure this happened exactly the way you described. Then, the manager gave you $1,000 and you rode off on your Pegasus that was made of diamonds and Pepperoni to go meet the Queen of Keeping It Real.

It’s hard to decide which part of the story is the most implausible. That you’re so hot that the two pizza guys instantly wanted to date you at the same time? That their fit of passion for you was so great that it came to punches and kicks? That the manager intervened and fired them on the spot? And then gave you free pizza for your trouble?

She still hasn’t grasped that if you’re going to tell a complex lie with many parts, at least ONE part of the story needs to be believable.

3. A little behind the curve

via: sarcasmsociety.com

This one is such a weird unnecessary lie. That second picture is barely different from the first, maybe just a thin layer photoshopped to make this part of the body seem slimmer. So at least she’s trying to make the lie believable. But after a month, her friend points out, “so in one month, you didn’t move any of the objects behind you at all?”

Why make this lie? It seems so absolutely pointless. There’s nothing wrong with the first picture. It’s just too bad we live in such a media environment where everybody—men and women—are obsessed with having “perfect” bodies. But even sadder is the woman feels like she has to make a lie over such incremental change. And is so bad at it.

2. Secret agent of the FBI

via: ebaumsworld.com

So obviously, this kid has no idea about what spies actually do, what they are equipped with and what agency they are affiliated with.

Hey, we all love spy movies, but if your education about how spies operate Is strictly based on James Bond and Mission: Impossible, you’re going to have a warped idea about how the world works. No you did not get momentarily “disorientated” from your buddy’s father’s super secret flash bang stun pen.

As his friend argues, “That’s not even the right agency…FBI doesn’t do that kind of thing. Was this a dream man??”

He replies, “it wasn’t.”

Well, at least that part is true. It wasn’t a dream, just a badly constructed lie. This kid’s not going undercover anytime soon.

1. Kraft macaroni and lies

via: ebaumsworld.com

Really? Really your mom has been talking to you for the last 20 minutes about responsible decisions and you built a wall of Kraft dinner between you? And who is taking the picture? And after you built the wall why isn’t your mom slapping the sh*t out of you?

Not pictured: your mom, your friend taking the picture and the empty seat that doesn’t contain your mom. Also not pictured all your friends face palming and not believing you.

We don’t know about you, but even at our age, if we had built a wall of Kraft boxes in an argument with our mother, no way would that wall be left standing. And no way would she have not already slapped that smug look right off of his face.

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