Being a girl is a lot more than just wearing frilly sundresses, applying flawless winged eyeliner, and hitting up Anthropologie every time they have a sale. Being a girl is hard work. You don't just "be a girl." You have to want it. You have to work for it. If you're going to be a girl, you have to make an effort.
Actually, you know what? Maybe we exaggerated a bit. See, in addition to only wanting to have fun, we girls don't always feel like dressing up. And applying makeup every day? That sh*t is for the birds. But, yeah, we will totally flock to the Anthropologie when they have a sale. That part is true.
But whether we decide to dress up or down, and whether we decide to apply makeup or not, being a girl still comes with its fair share of struggles. Check out these 15 memes all girls can relate to.
You might think that putting your hair up into a ponytail should be easy. After all, if you look at it on paper, the process is pretty straightforward. Flip your head over, gather your hair together toward the back of your head, and wrap a hair tie around your locks to hold it all together. But is it actually that easy? Ha! Of course it isn't!
It starts out simple enough—you flip your head and gather your hair, as the ponytail instruction manual states. But everything goes wrong when you flip your head back over. Bumps. Along your scalp, where it should be sleek and smooth, your hair is all lumpy. After a major arm workout, you manage to get everything to lay flat. You secure your hair tie, and you go off on your way with your perfect ponytail.
Then your sunglasses come along, and make a mess of everything. Gee, thanks a lot, Ray-Ban.
Every makeup-wearing girl is an amateur beautician. It takes skill and artistry to be able to apply mascara, eyeliner, and foundation. Years of practice are required to achieve the perfect makeup look. But no matter how experienced you are at applying makeup, it still takes a hella long time to get everything right.
You have to make sure that your foundation is properly blended. You have to make sure your mascara doesn't clump. You have to make sure you don't poke your eyeball with the eyeliner pencil. There are a ton of boxes to check when you're putting your makeup on. You can't just go at it all willy nilly.
Half an hour, minimum. That's how much time you're going to spend putting your makeup on. You would think that after all of that time spent applying cosmetics, you would remember that you had it on. But you don't. Carelessly, you wipe your eyes, and you end up looking like this.
It's sad, but it's true. Your body isn't going to stay young and amazing forever. You've got forty, maybe fifty years, if you're super lucky. But once your body decides to start aging, you're going to be seeing some fine lines and wrinkles. You're going to find that it's harder to shed unwanted pounds and maintain a slim figure. And, most upsetting of all, your killer rack is going to start slipping.
Don't get us wrong. We think getting old is actually pretty sweet. You get a senior discount. People think you're cute when you drive really slow. Plus, when you get old, you can start a cat collection, and bake all manner of sweet treats for yourself, your grandchildren, and your neighbors.
The point is, youth doesn't last forever. You won't always have the super hot bod that you have now. So it's important to spend your time with people who are worthy of you.
Girls don't do everything they do for the sake of attracting boys. Shock of the century, we know. See, girls may dress up, we may flaunt what we've got, and we may make an effort to look fab. But just because we want to look our best doesn't mean that we're doing it for the sake of finding a boy.
If you're a girl, at some point when you were growing up, someone asked you, "Why do you look so nice? Who are you trying to impress?" Little did they know that you weren't trying to impress anyone. Indeed, if you managed to impress other people, that was just a happy accident. No, you were just trying to impress yourself. And, man, did you succeed!
Boys? Don't make the mistake of assuming that a girl dressed nice for you. And if she did, then you better consider yourself damn lucky, because we girls only want to look fine for ourselves.
If you were to go through your entire life and recall all of the food that you've dropped down your cleavage over the years, you would have enough crumbs to construct an appetizer, a full plate of food, and a dessert. It's not like you mean to drop your food. After all, it's food. No one in their right mind would deliberately sabotage their own meal. But somehow, no matter how careful you are, and no matter what your meal consists of, bits of your food always end up between your boobs.
Bras are the bane of our existence. They pinch, and poke, and dig into our skin. They're a supportive undergarment nightmare. But if there is one thing that bras are good for, it's rescuing the food that we've dropped down our blouses. We may not be able to grab that food when we're in the presence of other people. But rest assured—as soon as we can sneak away, we will pick that food out, and we will eat it.
Whenever you talk about something that's hard, everyone is always like, "Well, it's not brain surgery," and, "It's not rocket science." Like, thanks, Dave. Thanks a ton for your input. But we would be willing to bet that the only reason you're saying that is because you've never had to paint the nails on your dominant hand with your non-dominant hand. Brain surgeons and rocket scientists got nothin' on us nail painting girls.
Self-performed manicures and pedicures take a ton of time. So much time. And not only does painting the nails on your fingers and toes take forever, it also takes a lot of care. It's tedious work. You have to make sure that you keep the nail polish on your nails, not on the skin surrounding them, not on your clothes, not on the furniture.
When you get your nails done perfectly, it's like winning an Olympic medal. When you accidentally smudge them? *Screams internally*
There are a lot of perks to being a girl. For one thing, girls get to not be boys, and we think that's a definite advantage. For another, girls get to do traditionally girly things, like eat tacos, and buy clothes (although, technically, those two things aren't relegated strictly to girls, but, whatevs). But there is one downside to being a woman. And, we're not going to lie to you, it's a major downside. It's called menstruation.
If a man bleeds for seven days straight, he's injured, and very possibly dying. But if a woman bleeds for a full week, it's no biggie. Well, no. It is a biggie. It's a major pain. Not only is bleeding a total mess all on its own, but girls have to contend with all of the PMS symptoms that come with having a period.
Bloating, headaches, water retention, mood swings. All of these symptoms suck. But the one that makes periods so unbearable? Cramps. Ouch.
Like we said, having a period isn't just having a period. It's cramps, and headaches, and bloating, and mood swings, and so much more. It's like Mother Nature said, "You know, bleeding is fun and all. But I think I could make it a lot more enjoyable by throwing in a slew of other horrible symptoms." Great job, Mother Nature. You got it right on the money.
Girls get their period every month, and we're pretty secretive about it. We don't go shouting it from the rooftops, ya feel? We don't want anyone to know that we're bleeding, hormonally unstable, and in constant discomfort. We try to conceal our pain like the bosses that we are.
So when someone asks us how we are during that time of the month, we always say that we're "fine." Always. No matter how un-fine we are, we never let anyone know the truth.
"Girls don't sit like that," "That's not ladylike." Oh, sorry. Did we ask? Look, we don't care if sitting with our legs splayed all over the place is ladylike or not. This isn't Downton Abbey, ya'll. We're not having tea with the Queen, here. If we want to sit cross-legged on the floor in a mini skirt, nothing you say can convince us not to.
Girls get to sit however they want to. But we will concede that sitting however you want to while wearing a dress can have disastrous results. Results like having everyone in the office see your Adventure Time panties. Wearing a dress means that you have to make a conscious effort not to expose your bloomers to the rest of the world. But we girls are flawed. And because we're flawed, we sometimes forget when we're wearing a dress. Which is why we always take the precaution of wearing shorts underneath our skirts. You know. Just in case.
Injustice, that's what it is. Cruel and unusual. It's just not right to stuff your boobs into a pair of constricting cups all day long. They suffer. They get itchy and sweaty. And why? What did our boobs ever do to us except make our blouses fit really nicely and turn us into shapely, gorgeous women? Breasts don't deserve to be confined to bras AKA boob prisons.
On the whole, the bra-wearing experience leaves a lot to be desired. Those straps hurt, yo. They dig into your shoulders and back until you're certain you must be bleeding. And then, once you've finally got them broken in, the underwire pokes out and stabs you in the under-boob. Way to drop the ball, bras.
The second we get in the door after a hard day of bra-wearing, we ditch that thing like a guy who lives in his mom's basement.
Science, you are in so much trouble, mister! What gives? Why the hell is it that we can either eat all we want, or we can be fit, but not both? You know, Science, we expected a lot more of you. We waited patiently while you discovered the Polio vaccine and while you put some guys on the moon. Well, now it's our turn! We want to be fit, bikini-wearing women who can eat all of the food. Make it happen, Science!
Sigh. We know, we know. We get it. We can't eat three burritos and still expect to have a six pack when we step out in our bikini. There's only so much that science can do about the female metabolism. But we're still going to be a little bit bitter about it, if that's alright with you. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go spend a few hours deliberating on whether or not we should supersize our value meal, or hit up the gym.
Ugh. Hair washing day. What a chore, are we right? Because it's not just hair washing. Maybe a quick lather and rinse is good enough for guys, but that just won't do for us girls. Especially when we have long hair.
When a girl says that she has to wash her hair, it's basically an umbrella term. We can't just wash our hair and expect it to look good. We have to wash it, then we have to condition it, and sometimes we have to repeat that process. When we step out of the shower, we then have to dry our hair, which means we have to decide how we want to dry it. Do we want to towel dry our hair and risk looking like an unkempt poodle for the next few days? Or, do we want to spend three hours styling our hair to make it look presentable?
You know what, maybe we just won't wash our hair. There. Problem solved.
Ponytails are a difficult thing to construct. We mentioned that earlier. But do you know what's even more frustrating than spending ten minutes getting your hair smoothed out for a ponytail? Reaching for a hair tie only to realize that it's too stretched out or too tight to wrap around your hair.
Dammit all, hair ties! Get it together, would you? The whole operation is in shambles because of you! We count on you to keep our hair out of our faces and to make us look good all at the same time. If we can't trust you, who can we trust?
This is just the way that it works with hair ties. When you first buy them, they're way too tight to go around your ponytail more than twice. So you stretch them out. Then, they're only good for one, maybe two ponytails before they get too stretchy to hold your hair anymore. That seems like a design flaw.
Girls be like, "Do I have a crush on that guy in my class, or do I just want to finish off the last slice of pizza that I left in the fridge? Do I want a boyfriend, or am I just hungry?" It's not always easy to differentiate between the two.
Being a girl is complicated. On the one hand, you love being single. You are an independent woman who don't need no man. But on the other hand, wouldn't it be nice to have a handsome man to buy you flowers/video games/concert tickets/whatever you as a girl want? Wouldn't it be great to be with someone who liked the same things that you do?
Relationship status isn't all cut and dry for us girls. One minute, we may be dying to have a guy ask us out, and the next minute, we may be freaking out when a guy actually does.
You read our funny little description thing for the last meme, right? So you remember when we said that it can be hard deciding if we want affection or if we're just hungry? Yeah, that sort of conundrum accompanies almost every aspect of a girl's life.
It's not just, "Do I want a boyfriend, or am I just hungry?" It's also, "Do I want this half-price pair of jeans, or should I just go get some ice cream?" And it's, "Do I really need the 25th Anniversary Collector's Edition Bluebell My Little Pony that I found on Ebay, or am I just craving a brownie?" As a girl, it's easy to confuse other emotions with hunger.
We're serious about our food. And when we go too long without a snack, we get crabby. We get downright mean. It's not intentional; it just happens. So the next time a girl loses it, don't take it personally. She's probably hungry.