Valentine's Day—the super sweet holiday we have set aside to acknowledge all the lovey-dovey feels we have for our beaus, babes and baes. How a holiday that was dedicated to the martyr St. Valentine (who was murdered while trying to spread Christianity) became associated with Cupid, enormous teddy bears, boxes of chocolate and hearts is still shrouded with mystery. All we really know is that Valentine's Day is the day we celebrate romance and love of all kinds.
However, for those of us who are not really into the mush fest that is Valentine's Day, the holiday does not conjure up any positive feelings in us. We look at the holiday as a hoax, a joke or a way to stimulate the economy after the Christmas season. Here are 15 signs you definitely hate Valentine's Day.
16 You treat the feels like airborne pathogens
Love is in the air, but while everyone else is getting all googly-eyed and making romantic plans, you are completely grossed out. It seems like we were still wading through ankle-deep New Year's Eve confetti when our favorite stores and shops were swathed in red, pink and white and the Valentine's Day decorations, confections and gifts emerged. Like seriously, we had not even written our new year's resolutions before hearts, chocolates and ridiculously-sized stuffed animals donned the shelves of anywhere that sells anything. You try to keep plenty of distance from all of the gross-mance but it literally is everywhere, from Starbucks to the drugstore. It's just not cool, at all.
15 You think being single is financially responsible
Let's be honest, Valentine's Day does indeed bring in a lot of revenue. Between date night plans and goofy (or lavish) gifts, people drop a pretty penny on February 14th (and the days leading up to it). Even florists and card companies are making big bank off of a holiday that, quite frankly, we do not even know much about. But, you only spend big bucks if you are in a relationship and you value that type of thing. If you are single or you are in one of those magical relationships where Valentine's Day is no big thing, you honestly have nothing to worry about (and your wallet and bank account can rejoice about that). Why not go ahead and skip the entire thing and save yourself a boatload?
14 You think a lot of the gifts are total crap
And speaking of those gifts: have you ever looked at (or thought about) some of the garbage being peddled as presents for Valentine's Day? Some of that stuff is complete trash that is marked up four times over just so you can have a present on the holiday. Like, what are you going to do with a giant teddy bear after Valentine's Day? Where is that thing going to even go? Who has the space for that? And what if you do not like chocolates? We love chocolate, but even we can admit that some of those flavor combos offered on Valentine's day are gross. And what about roses? Seriously, what do roses do after a week or two? Die. You basically offered up your cash for flowers that are going to fall apart two weeks from now. But, Happy Valentine's Day...?
13 You hate the fact that you have to buy them anyway...
Some of us who secretly hate the holiday, or do not really understand it, are still trapped in situations (read: relationships) where we still must celebrate it. We put ourselves through the torture of enduring this sappy crap if for no other reason other than the fact that our partner loves the holiday themselves. And, well, we know that if we dare see them and are empty-handed or without a plan, we might have to pay for it. This mostly happens to guys rather than to girls, though.
Ladies, we really should cut our beaus some slack. So what if he does not come over with a box of chocolate or one of those silly teddy bears...what does a grown woman want with a stuffed toy anyway? The point is that he loves you the other 364 days of the year.
12 ...Or that it highlights how single you are
Some of us hate the holiday because it illuminates a very obvious fact: you are single. Now, if you are cool with the bachelor/bachelorette life, more power to you. This will not bother you in the least. However, there are some people who view singleness as a disease that can only be cured by the addition of a relationship (for what reason, we are not completely sure of). All Valentine's Day does is it serves as a spotlight on what you perceive to be a problem. It should be renamed Singleness Awareness Day...just a holiday that brings to light the fact that there will not be any admirers (secret or otherwise) that will be writing you sweet nothings (what is a sweet nothing anyway?).
11 All these feels may make you nauseated
Some of us think of Valentine's Day and get all warm and fuzzy inside. The rest get sick...quite literally. Valentine's Day is enough to make these special kind of cold-hearted cupid haters want to vomit. No hate. We understand. Most of you do not understand why all of the love that people are supposed to be sharing throughout the entire year gets compressed into 24 hours of mush-infused, embarrassingly cheesy and downright expensive ridiculousness that, quite frankly, gets forgotten the very next day. Feel what you feel, babe. No judgement here. To be honest, we can all see your point. Do you, boo. Just do not puke on my shoes.
10 There is literally a list of stuff you would rather do than celebrate Valentine's Day
We have established that there are many reasons people don't like Valentine's Day. Not surprisingly, a lot of people are hateful over Valentine's Day simply because it forces them to spend money they don't want to spend, doing things they would rather not do with a person they may or may not want to be with. Whether you are in a relationship or not, anyone can feel the strain when they are literally pouring out your hard-earned cash on the roses, the bears, the fancy dinner, the chocolates and the myriad of other thing that get the "Valentine's Day" label slapped across them. It is enough to make a person go back into the debt they have been fighting to get out of since the recent Christmas holidays.
9 You think you have your priorities straight
The way some people feel about going on a date with their favorite person is the way us non-mushy people feel about having a date with our own favorite thing: food. The thought of it makes our hearts race with delight, we arrive in anticipation, once we see it, we cannot help but to smile and once we're done, we are engulfed in a wave of blissful satisfaction.
Let's face it—there are not too many things better than sitting down to eat your favorite food. Whether you are a frozen cookie dough muncher or a carrot cruncher, you know the joy of enjoying your favorites uninterrupted. Do not worry, you have got your priorities completely straight.
8 You might consider unplugging from social media
Valentine's Day is literally the gift of disappointment that keeps on giving. First, we have to deal with the co-workers who are talking about their romance-infused dinners and dates weeks before the actual holiday. Then, we have to put up with the commercials between our favorite televisions shows full of cards, candy and other obnoxious items that are absolute must-haves for the big day. And finally, we have to endure the actual holiday where Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook becomes a mush fest covered in videos, photos and stories of saccharine sweets and dramatic mushy moments. No thanks, keep that crap to yourselves please.
7 Doesn't mean that you don't have big plans of your own
Hearing all of your friends having Valentine's Day plans can give you a serious case of FOMO ("fear of missing out," for those who do not know) if you are not careful. However, you can become a pro at doing non-Valentine-like stuff on Valentine's Day. Like what, you ask? Well, there are so many things that you can do on Valentine's Day without being even the slightest bit mushy—from ordering food from your favorite spot and hanging at home in your PJs to taking yourself shopping and all the ideas in between. The problem now is figuring out which one you would like to occupy all of that "solo" time with.
6 You are wondering if you ever even liked V-Day
The plague that is Valentine's Day is so prolific, that it is forced on us at our earliest and most formative years. You probably remember being in elementary school and having to make sure everyone in your class got a Valentine. After all, it was a school rule, meaning that even if you did not like someone, you STILL had to give them a Valentine. This forced giving never really sat right with our inner rebel. We remember leaving sweet notes for our friends or a crush, but for people who we did not care for...well, we would leave their cards blank. We can see why some people would grow to not like the holiday altogether, with early memories like that.
5 Regular PDA makes you sick, V-Day PDA makes you want to die
Some of us are seriously grossed out by even the idea of Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) on a normal day. These displays get multiplied exponentially when you consider the overwhelming forced romance that is Valentine's Day. There are literally public affection displays EVERYWHERE. We are talking the full gambit, from gross hand-holding, enough cheek pecks to make you squeamish, nasty lip-locking and the ultimate in disgusting displays: face slurping. And it will be everywhere—on the train in the morning, on the way to work, all during lunch break, definitely after work if you go out to dinner. And forget checking your social media for, like, the whole damn day. Otherwise you will be met with more PDAs than your thumb can comfortably scroll past.
4 You hate V-Day so much, you are considering having an anti-Valentine's Day party just to show it
Some of us despise Valentine's Day and all it stands for so much, that we have taken it to another level. We celebrate our Valentine's Day hatred and we want to celebrate it with others. We go as far as having formed a group of others who share in our anti-Valentine's Day feels. In fact, we have discovered (or even created) entire Pinterest boards and Facebook groups dedicated to people who love the idea of anti-Valentine's Day bashes and parties. We shout death to cupid, break open heart-filled piñatas and otherwise enjoy the company of fellow anti-Valentine's Day people. Who said you cannot have fun on Valentine's Day without being in a relationship?
3 But it is not because you're bitter or anything
Some people will take your aversion to Valentine's Day as you being bitter that you yourself were not asked on a date. Of course, you are not bitter. To be honest, you do not need a reason (such as a bad breakup, a horror story or a sad event) to simply dislike Valentine's Day. You could just not like it, simple as that. We hear you. You do not have to explain yourself to us, babe. And to prove it, while you have your own eye-rolling acrobatics whenever you encounter what you perceive as the ridiculousness of Valentine's Day, you are quite proud to be one of those people who do not rain on the mush-ball parades of other people who, you know...might be into that sort of thing.
2 You just treat Valentine's Day like it's another day on the calendar
For some of us, the strong dislike of all things Valentine's Day is beyond having a party about it, FOMO or taking ourselves on an anti-Valentine's-Day-infused shopping spree. For some of us, our hatred for Valentine's Day is so deep and so intense, that we basically ignore the fact that it is even a holiday. What is February 14th? The day after February 13th. Or the day before February 15th. That is what it comes down to. And no "I hate Valentine's Day" party, singleness awareness jaunt with your single friends, or post-Valentine's Day chocolate sale binge will change the fact that you simply loathe the holiday and all it stands for. Either way, it represents no holiday for you.
1 Your overall sentiment towards Valentine's Day
Basically what it comes down to is this: you don't like Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because you had past horrible dates or received awful Valentine's Day gifts. Or maybe, it's the fact that you cannot reason as to how the terrible and mysterious death of a Christian martyr almost a thousand years ago evolved into people exchanging dates, candy and stupid stuffed animals for love (and sex). Perhaps, you have no reason at all. Whatever the case, you just hate Valentine's Day. You do not want to hear the mush-ball stories, you do not want to see the ads, you do not want to be inundated with all of the details of nights of roses and romance. We feel you. With all of that being said, Happy Valentine's Day everybody.