As human beings, most of us try to appear like quality members of society on the day to day. Most of us shower regularly, wear clean clothes, and we eat salads in public. The thing is is that once the doors are closed from the world and we're alone, nobody is really that pleasant naturally.
We are all harboring deep, gross secrets about ourselves that are both universal but also taboo.
Everyone has had a night where they ate two whole pizzas, but nobody is going to post that on their Instagram to try and brag (unless that's your thing, which, like, good for you). The cool thing about the Internet is that you can express the real you without having that many consequences in real life. It turns out that by sharing memes, I'm not as weird as I thought I was, since pretty much all of us do the same shameful things when we think nobody's watching.
15 The Epitome Of Millennial Culture
Sometimes you just gotta shove an entire pizza in your mouth and take a picture of it. Sometimes you have to do it all at once, without any time to enjoy each individual slice. This guy is pretty much what we all look like when we're shoveling a pizza by ourselves on the living room floor, except he was brave enough to bring that bad side of him to light in public. Not only did he photograph himself hit the food version of rock bottom, but he was also doing this shameful act in the middle of a public space, where another individual inevitably also photographed him and shared it with the Internet. I'm not saying that I've been there, too, but I have been there, too. We all have.
14 Gotta Photograph Our Worst Moments, Too
This couple must have been in a weird place, because the (now ex) husband felt like it would be a good idea to take a selfie during their divorce case. I don't know much about divorces considering I've never been involved in one, but from what I've heard, it doesn't seem to be that great of a time — it's actually the exact opposite of that. I feel like for most people, it's something that you would want to forget, not document. Either this former couple has a great sense of humor or this guy is just a complete butthole. But let's be real, as more Millennials are getting married, and thus also divorced, we will probably see a lot more divorce selfies posted on Instagram in the next few years.
13 Feeling Crusty, Y'all
One of the worst feelings is being extremely tired, but what's even worse than that is the feeling you get after taking a little nap when you're exhausted. You would think that sleep would make a tired person feel better, but when it happens in the middle of the day and you have to wake up and do something later it is almost the worst thing you can do. For one, has anyone ever woken up from a snooze and knew exactly what the date and time was? I'm pretty sure napping actually opens up some portal in the space and time continuum that makes you more exhausted and confused than you felt before you took that nap. Every time I wake up I look and feel just like this messed-up Pikachu yet I never learn my lesson.
12 Oops, I Can't Find It
Thanks to the Internet, I've learned that it's not super weird or uncommon to just hate living most of the time. Everyone's out here struggling and being like actual garbage humans, and we're all just coping with our mortal existence by making some pretty dark jokes every once in a while. Whenever I laugh or enjoy an existentialist meme that my mom would get mad at me for laughing at, I start to feel bad, but then I see that the post go, like, a 1.2-millions likes and then I realize that the majority of people feel the exact same way I do. It may not be funny to my parents, but it is funny to all the sad young people on the Internet and that's really what matters.
11 Same here
When life's getting me down, I like to remember that some of my favorite celebrities, while currently very hot, were as dweebish-looking as I was back in the day. Who would think that resident hunky funny man, Ryan Reynolds ,would have that bad of a haircut back in high school? Before he got hot, he looked just like every other average guy from high school. The catch is that unlike me, he did go through a wonderful transformation into who he is today. I, on the other hand, went through a regressive period and got worse. I'm no longer in high school, but I'm still celibate — and not by choice either. Ryan Reynolds, please teach me your ways out of this funk, I'm begging you!
10 Like That's Going To Work
Oh wow, another meme calling me TF out on my habits. I know—we all know—that dwelling in your sadness isn't going to stop making you sad, but it somehow just feels right doing so. If you think I'm going to listen to some positive-sounding dance bop when I'm in my feelings, you're very wrong. I think it's almost worse to try and force happiness on yourself when you're feeling sad. Sometimes you just have to drill the sad feelings so hard until there's no more sad to feel and then you'll be in a better mood. Like this picture, washing the car when it's raining doesn't make a lot of sense but you'll still have a cleaner looking car when it stops raining.
9 What Everyone's Instagram Is Like
We young people are all about the glitz and glamour and showing off our nice stuff on the 'gram, but we're just playing ourselves. There's no question that literally all of us (except for maybe those darn 1%-ers) are super broke. Nobody my age has a nice car or designer clothes or any of that stuff you see on social media. Even those Starbucks pictures aren't daily; that's a luxury you can afford, like maybe once a week at most. Yet while everyone knows the truth of the financial crisis of 20-year-olds, we're still all trying to play each other with travel pics of our study abroad from three years ago and that time we drove our uncle's car once. Truth is, everyone's working 40 hours on minimum wage with loan debt, so even with hard work, we're not living a life of luxury.
8 Of Course I'm Still Watching
Every day, I see my reflection from my computer screen or my phone and every day I'm surprised and think to myself, "Do I really look like a total troll?" I know what I look like when I see myself in the mirror, and it's alright, but that angle that my screens catch me at when I'm watching TV captures a look of mine that belongs in a horror film. I honestly feel bad for that government agent watching me through my webcam all day because they have to see a lot of unsightly looks that I'm serving when watching Netflix alone in my bed. I believe that the reason why Netflix's screen turns black when they ask you if you're still watching is so that you have a brief moment to see the monster that you have become. Even so, that's not going to make me stop watching Netflix for the rest of the day.
7 Words To Live By
The first mistake anyone can make in life is to be good at something and also set goals for yourself. While success feels great, failures in expectations can feel a lot worse — you never know when you're going to experience more successes or failures, so to avoid the pain of disappointment, it's better to just not start at all. Living in a goal limbo may make you feel like the laziest piece of garbage just scraping by. But hey, at least you don't taste that bitter disappointment.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't aspire to be anything, I'm just saying that logically not setting yourself up for anything also makes sure that you don't set yourself up for disappointment. Maybe reach for the stars, but only the closest one.
6 I'm A Cheap Wine Connoiseur
Like Leslie Knope once said in Parks and Rec: "I would like a glass of red wine and I will take the cheapest one you have because I honestly can't tell the difference."
Wine is something that fancy people are into, but it's also a great and fairly cheap way of getting drunk for those less-fancy people. I may get shamed by my more cultured friends for spending no more than $7 on a bottle of white wine, but I honestly can't taste the difference. Honestly some "good" wine tastes a lot worse than the garbage I buy at the Walmart liquor section. Maybe it's because good wine isn't supposed to be chugged and instead enjoyed with a nice meal, or maybe it's because wine is a conspiracy and the price means nothing.
5 How Things Have Changed
Growing up at the end of the "drugs are bad, and if you do weed once, you'll die" era of drug safety education, I thought that drugs were a huge no-no and that only terrible people do it. Turns out, literally every adult in your life has at least smoked the grass at least once in their life and more of them do drugs even into late parent and adulthood. You grow up and realize that it's not some super dark, evil secret cult thing, but it's just something that literally everyone does once they grow older. I'm not saying that's a good or a bad thing, but what I am saying is that those "Just Say No" commercials from childhood gave me a very different impression on what drug culture would be like growing up. It's way more chill than those scary-a** commercials would make you believe.
4 Just Be Subtle
We're all thirsty out here, and if you're anything like me then you may be severely dehydrated. It's not often when a boy comes along that actually talks to you for more than two minutes, and whenever that happens, it's time to work. He says he likes blondes? You're going to have to ruin that beautiful ginger hair of yours. Blue eyes? You're going to have to start wearing contacts. Not only do you want to fit into his whole type, but you also have to make subtle (or not-so subtle) hints that you're interested in that one thing, that one, one thing. Usually for me, this doesn't work very well and my mission to snag a boy ends up in failure very quickly, but maybe some other people are luckier in this endeavor.
3 Hope Nobody Notices
I know that some states are trying to make the sizes of fountain drinks smaller, but in my opinion, I think that they should be bigger. Sometimes a 16oz cup of Coke just doesn't do it for me, and while I could just go to the fountain and refill it, I'd rather just have all the soda I want right in front of me. This guy is a genius, using his leftover KFC tub of chicken as a cup for all his soda desires. I'm not even sure if this is a KFC or a different fast food location. If it's the latter, it's just that much funnier. While I appreciate this guy for standing up for what he believes in, I know that the management of this fast food joint is less than pleased of this man's antics.
2 Family Is Family
As a cross-stitcher myself, I love seeing other people's cross stitches that look cute, but end up having really funny messages. This one would definitely make guests coming to visit for the first time very confused if this was just placed on the living room wall. They might be a family of crack users, but it could also be a joke (which it usually is in the crafting world, but who knows). This is definitely a conversation piece to say the least — even if the conversation you were having is uncomfortable and weird.
I think most families out there are pretty messed up and/or dysfunctional in some way or another, but still, when you come home there is a nice, familiar feeling there. Luckily, though, it's the end of the holidays so there are a lot more months before having to go back there.
1 What Is Outside?
One of the pieces of media that really changed me was that one episode of SpongeBob where he breaks his butt and then decides to stay indoors for the rest of his life. Being someone who's afraid of a lot of bugs and other outdoor things, I also enjoy and prefer staying indoors instead of going out into nature for too long. Sometimes I'll get too into a show or a video game or whatever, and it will be days—if not a week or two—before I go outside for the first time, and that experience is always a little disorienting. Sure, I know what animals are and what a butterfly is, but I haven't seen the real thing for so long that sometimes it takes a while to re-introduce these real-life concepts. I guess outside is cool sometimes, but Netflix is better.