The harsh reality is that most relationships end up in heartache. In particular, the first few weeks of a breakup can be one of the toughest moments in a person’s life. You’ve changed your Facebook relationship status, deleted every single photo of your ex, but you’re not quite ready to tell your close friends and family yet. To make things worse, you’re surrounded by happy couples rubbing their happiness in your face, while you’re spooning ice-cream into your mouth, watching reruns of Friends. I mean, how else are you going to get over your ex? The good news is that this pain is not completely unnecessary. Think of this way – you’re one step closer to finding 'the one'. Here are a few memes that you can relate to.
15 The initial denial
Did you just breakup? You’re not sure what’s happening. You feel a mixture of anger and sadness, but mostly you feel like your heart has been torn to shreds. Part of you thinks – even hopes – your ex didn’t mean what they said. They’ll be back. Except when you wake up in the morning, and no one is sleeping beside you, reality hits you in the face. You check your phone frantically, maybe they’ve left you a voicemail, apologising over and over, begging you to forgive them. Nothing. Your body is now in neutral mode. How do you feel? The only thing you’re absolutely sure of is that you need a strong drink to temporarily numb the pain. Vodka or whiskey? So many decisions.
14 Facebook relationship status dilemma
You’ve accepted the breakup, it’s over for good. Now you have to make it official on Facebook because that’s just what people do, isn’t it? The dilemma sets in; who changes their status first? You’re making sure that it isn’t you. But your ex is being stubborn. It’s been 24 hours and no one has updated their status. You can’t carry on the pretence that you’re still happily together but neither do you want your ex to play the sympathy card... finally your ex caves in and updates their status to single. Thank god. Now you have to prepare yourself for the endless replies from nosy strangers, wanting to know ‘what happened hon?’ Mind your own business, hon.
13 The “let’s just be friends” conversation
You feel like your heart has been stomped on, and just to twist that knife in a little bit further, they start the whole “let’s be friends” conversation, which makes you even more furious. You know exactly how it works. When someone says “let’s be friends” that usually translates to “let’s never talk again” because you both know that a friendship is never, ever on the cards. So… what do you reply to that? Nothing. You’re too angry right now to think of a smart reply, but you’ll be racking your brain all night thinking of something you should have said in that moment.
12 Checking up on your ex
Nothing good will come out of it but curiosity compels you to check on your ex anyway. What are they doing right now? Are they in a mess over your breakup too? Oh, actually their fine. More than fine, they’ve been to parties, carrying on with their life as if nothing has happened. And then you spot the most painful thing you could have possibly seen. They are smiling – actually smiling – while you are an uncontrollable sobbing mess. That’s fine, two can play at that game. Except… you don’t know how to have a good time without your ex. What did you do before they walked into your life and completely wrecked it? Never mind, you can always turn to Netflix.
11 Putting on a brave face to your friends
You don’t want false sympathy and neither do you want to hear the “I told you so’s” from your friends who never did approve. So you put on a fake smile and pretend like the breakup was the best thing that could have happened to you. You tell your friends “you’re fine” with an emphasis on the word “fine” but it’s just like that one episode of Friends when Ross kept telling everyone he is fine, when he was in fact, anything but. Now you’re at home, with none of your friends by your side, and the crushing reality of the situation finally sets in. You are completely alone. You decide that it’s probably best if you stay in bed for the next two weeks, living on junk food and endlessly crying into your pillow.
10 Happy couples are everywhere
Everywhere you look, there are happy couples. On social media and in real life. God, why is life so cruel? Not to mention the one couple who have to publicly declare their love on Facebook every goddamn day. That’s the last thing you want to see. Oh, but they haven’t seen one another in a few days and it feels like weeks, so they feel the need to post picture after picture of them embracing and you feel the need to throw up. Part of you secretly hopes there will be an argument that leads to a dramatic breakup. Now that would cheer you up!
9 Thinking you're finally over it
You wake up one morning and decide that you are finally over the breakup. Enough is enough. Your ex has already moved on and it’s time that you do the same. It doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. When you tell your friends the good news, they are overjoyed and you make plans to go out. That’s right, you’ve got out of bed and now you’re ready to move on with your life! But… that’s merely a lie. After being out for just twenty minutes, you’ve seen things – little things – that remind you of your ex and it takes you back to a time when you were together. This breaks your heart all over again. Yep, moving on sucks.
8 Pretending that everything is OK
In order to fill the empty space in your life, you start taking up new hobbies. You post upbeat tweets and status about how well things are going. You regularly update your Instagram with pictures of flowers, inspiring quotes and cute animals. You even start doing yoga in the hope that it will give you a positive outlook on life. Basically, you are slowly losing your mind. It doesn’t take long for you to realise that it just isn’t working. Firstly, you hate yoga. Secondly, you’re only doing to this to prove a point to your ex. So you reluctantly go back to staying in bed, watching romance movies and feeling sorry for yourself.
7 The self-loathing cycle
You wake up completely hating yourself. You have a hangover, no money, no boyfriend/girlfriend sleeping next to you and the world sucks. You start thinking it’s your own fault you’re single. Were you too clingy? Too loud? Instead of helping, your friends decide to rub their relationships in your face. Oh, they’re so happy to be in a relationship with their best friend? They’ve found their soulmate? That’s just what you wanted to hear when you’re currently feeling lonelier than ever. You secretly plot against everyone while hiding away in your room, eating a large pizza and listening to Coldplay on repeat. People? Who needs them? You have food and music, what more could you possibly need?
6 Your ex has found someone else
If you needed any proof that your ex has actually moved on, here it is. They’re already in a new relationship. Wow, talk about move on fast. You hate them. You love them. You want the best for them. You secretly hope their relationship doesn’t last long. As soon as you spotted the ‘in a relationship’ status, you started stalking their new boyfriend/girlfriend, looking at all of their photos, comparing your features and suddenly feeling very unattractive. Are they in love? Or is this just a ploy to make you feel jealous? After an hour, you somehow end up on their brother’s girlfriend’s profile. Wait, what are you doing with your life? You didn’t think it was possible but you’ve sunken even lower.
5 Your friends stage an intervention
Going out is just what you need. Alcohol and socialising, what can go wrong? Everything, probably. You see some of your old acquaintances at the bar and suddenly want to disappear before the night has even begun. Naturally they start talking about your relationship status. ‘Oh you’re single now? I’ll have to set you up with one of my friends. Would you like that?’ Oh god no. Now you’re panicking. Blind dates are the worst. How are you going to get out of this? You could pretend you need the toilet and then make a run for it. But what will you tell your friends? You have no idea why you thought this was a good idea. All you wanted was to get drunk. Sigh.
4 Drunk texting your ex
If only you had deleted their number from your phone, you wouldn’t be in this mess. But then again, if you had friends who stopped you from making stupid decisions, you wouldn’t be in this mess either. One message would have been fine, completely justifiable, but 20 texts and 5 voicemail's is crossing the line. You reread the messages and cringe all over again. After a few shots of tequila, you poured your heart out, telling your ex how much you still think about them and do they still think about you? You’ve let your guard down and made yourself vulnerable. Now your ex knows how you feel. Now you’ve ruined everything. In a rush of anger, you block the number and swear to never sink that low again.
3 The sudden realisation that you can do better
Remember when your ex belittled you in front of their friends? When they insulted you and then played if off as a joke? Yeah, that wasn’t funny… they were just being a jerk. There were plenty of inexcusable things they did and yet you stayed with them. You were so blinded by what you thought was love at the time that you couldn’t see your ex for what they really were; trash. At last you’ve seen their true colors and you don’t know what the hell you ever saw in them. You’ve wasted months crying and blaming yourself, instead of recognising the real culprit. They are to blame, not you. Feeling like a weight has been lifted, you decide that you will go out tonight and have fun.
2 Another one comes along
You make eye contact with a really, really attractive person at the bar. God, they have a nice face. You hold eye contact for a while, and when neither of you look away, you brace yourself and walk confidently up to them. You talk a lot, drink a lot and laugh a little bit too much. But whatever you’re doing, it seems to work because soon enough you’ve swapped numbers. Your friends are excited for you and are quick to offer some advice. ‘Wait a few days, you don’t want to look too eager’ so you do just that; you wait. And you get a text from the new stranger in your life asking to see you again, clearly they can’t get enough. This could turn into something…
1 Your ex wants to talk
It’s been ages since you last heard from that asshole you call your ex. But out of the blue, they decide to pop up asking questions. It reminds you of that piece of gum that always gets stuck to the bottom your shoe, and no matter how hard you try to remove it, somehow it just doesn’t seem to budge. They want to know how you’re doing, if you’re in a relationship (not that it’s anyone’s business) and the funniest part is they’ve decided that you were the best thing to happen to them and they want you back. After all this time, they have realised their mistakes. Well that’s too bad. You’ve moved on. Found someone better. A little bit of advice: one does not simply try and re-enter ex’s life.