Hating your job is a fine tradition that's passed down from generation to generation. You can bet your Grandparents hated working in a factory 20 hours a day, back when employees losing limbs was the norm. Today, we'll whine about being stuck in an office cubicle or behind a cash register. Although you are less likely to lose any body parts in an office or working retail, you are still equally as likely to lose your soul.
Thankfully, one thing we have that our grandparents didn't (besides all our fingers) is the internet. Through the art of memes, we can represent the entire spectrum of people who hate work. The irony with a topic like this is you're probably reading this list while at a job you hate. If that's the case, after reading each entry we suggest looking over your shoulder for either your boss or the snitch. What follows are 15 Memes that accurately describe every person who hates their job.
15 The Germaphobe
Lets begin our job related hate-fest by singling out the germaphobe who as we all know, detests work with a passion. One cough, one sneeze, that’s all it takes…break out the hazmat suit and decontaminate the entire office with Lemon Pledge, Clorox Bleach and fire.
To be fair, there are valid arguments when it comes to the issue of health. Nobody wants to catch an illness due to a co-worker ‘toughing it out’ and stumbling around the office with a 110-degree fever like a martyr. If you are at a pants-crapping level of sickness then just take the day off and visit a doctor. On the other side of things, germaphobes who flip out when a person shows even the slightest indication of being ill need to get a grip. If your immune system is that frail and susceptible to every little thing then maybe a gig working from home is an option worth considering?
14 The Returning Worker
No matter how long a vacation from work is; for many returning employees it never seems to be enough time. There’s really no way to ever fully decompress and prepare for what awaits when you return to work. As we all know, all that truly waits is the same problems you probably ran away from screaming.
Depending where you sit on the company ladder, you may or may not have a guaranteed pile of awful upon your arrival. The only upside to returning to a mess of duties (we’re trying to think ‘bright side’ here) is it forces you to catch up with anything you missed. So that’s a plus right? Sure it is, keep telling yourself that. Repeat it in your head as you sort through a landslide of emails while holding back a tear and wish you were back on the beach...naked and drunk.
13 The Staff Meeting Attendants
One group of people who clearly hate work are those forced to attend staff meetings where everyone pretty much synchronize swims into a vast pool of denial. It’s comical because these types of tedious meetings consist of chatter about “crucial goals”, which absolutely need to be achieved. However, because none of the items mentioned will ever actually come to fruition, the entire spectacle is an exercise in futility. On that note, don’t ask why zero of the proposals and goals will ever never be met; doing that will just result in another circle-jerk meeting.
When you think about it, a group of adults sitting around and committing themselves to an illusion is mind-boggling. “Sure we’ll allow for more lead time on projects moving forward!’ That’s an excellent idea that will make things easier on everyone! By the way, here are those 10 campaigns I needed done last week!”
12 The Weary Retail Clerk
Many in retail barely bother to hide their disdain for their jobs. With that said, here’s a meme anyone who has ever worked retail will understand insanely well. Despite the fact that a clerk may have just spent the last eight to ten hours dealing with a nonstop flow of customers; there’s always one last minute person rushing in for service. Any customer entering a business minutes before closing generally fits into one of two categories.
The first category is: ‘the oblivious mess’. “Oh you close at 8pm? Really, is that like a new thing? Are you sure you close now?”
Then there’s the second category…‘the self-entitled j**k-off’. “Ha! Made it! Turn the lights back on because I have a huge project that needs to be taken care of asap!”
Much like the murder of Bruce Wayne’s parents created Batman…this last minute rush scenario is the secret origin of the acronym “GTFO”.
11 The Escape Artist
The meme above truly encapsulates another individual who hates work, the escape artist. As everyone knows, one of the few places employees can hide out while in the office without being pestered to do actual work is the bathroom. The tricky thing is if you disappear in the bathroom repeatedly then people may assume you have the runs or you’re simply ducking out of work. If you disappear in there for an extended block of time…well, they’ll pretty much assume the same things.
Hiding out in the bathroom is a delicate balancing act that’s dependent on timing as much as who is around at any given moment. While some co-workers are oblivious as to who is or isn’t in the bathroom, the Dwight K. Schrute of your office may be keeping tabs. So what is just the right amount of time? We’re going to suggest that anything longer than ten to fifteen minutes may prompt someone knocking on the door. Once that happens you’ll have to start flushing the toilet and pretending you weren’t sleeping or reading lists like these on your cell phone.
10 The Half-Ass Worker
Ah, Homer Simpson, always there for us in our time of need to say just the right thing. We’re fairly sure it's scientifically impossible for anything Homer related to not provoke laughter. In this instance, Homer speaks the truth for many miserable employees who are prone to laziness.
There’s a harsh truth that comes along with plugging away every single day at a job that you hate; eventually many see their dissatisfaction as an excuse to coast. Why show up early, why complete projects in a timely manner? Hell, why even bother showering? Fortunately we can think of answers for all of those questions. The earlier you arrive the quicker you can get a head start on tasks, the faster you finish work, the sooner you can leave and lastly…c’mon now, you have to wash your ass.
9 The Struggling Optimist
This particular meme speaks volumes about those who generally hate work, but don’t want to hate work. Sometimes employees simply grow sick and tired of wallowing in perpetual negativity. Such a moment of clarity often leads them to make a conscious effort to change their perspective on life. Time to be happy even if it kills someone!
Here’s how this experience truly goes down on a personal level. Maybe before work you’ll drink three coffees and a Red Bull. If doing that doesn’t make your heart warp into another dimension then you’ll surely be energized and fully alert for a month. Then maybe you’ll quickly look at some videos of puppies or babies…or babies that sort of look like puppies; whatever the hell cheers you up. Then you’ll head out to work, adamant about remaining positive no matter what.
Boom – someone or something quickly craps all over your positive outlook and it's right back to the damn drawing board.
8 The Realist
The realist is that person at work who will always have their feet planted firmly on the ground. No matter how harsh and lava soaked the ground happens to be, they are there standing firm. Just know, they too hate work as much as anyone else. However, the realist seems to have rationalized themselves into a corner and by their own logic, anyone working anywhere must remain where they are no matter what.
The key problem with their fear driven, flawed logic is that it completely disregards the human element. While one person may be able to survive at a job they hate until the day they retire, the next person might not be able to handle the same position for any longer than a month.
7 The Person Who Claims Jobs Can Always Be Worse
This meme can pretty much be applied to many areas of life aside from just the workplace. No matter what tragedy goes down, there’s almost always someone there to state the obvious, “It could be worse!”
Yes, true, sure things could always be worse in theory and that perspective clearly has merit. However, we seriously doubt it's any comfort to those who actually do have it worse to be used as living examples of how bad things can be in life. Furthermore, the next guy having it worse doesn’t help you hate your job any less. The ironic part about the person represented in this meme is that they very clearly hate work. Is the best way of coping really to fantasize about someone else being even more awful and bad off?
Sounds almost Sith-ish. Speaking of which…
6 The Miserable Who Love Company
No one knows hate like the Dark Side wielding, Sith Bad-Ass, Emperor Palpatine. That’s why this meme perfectly represents those who are miserable at their job and want others to come right along with them for the Hellish ride.
It’s understandable why people who seriously hate their jobs would actively seek out comrades in arms. Maybe they are planning a walkout or maybe they are planning to confront management with grievances and want someone to have their back. Perhaps they simply love stewing in a hate-filled pot with as many people as possible. In most cases though, people just want someone’s shoulder to cry snot bubbles onto. Nothing wrong with that. It’s somewhat gross though and we wouldn’t recommend doing so with the office germaphobe.
5 The Clock Watcher
Nothing captures every awkward shade of humanity as well as the classic Spider-Man memes. With that deeply philosophical observation established, lets discuss another dismal employee, the person who is relentlessly conscious of time. If you want a fun activity, count the number of times these types of people view a clock or stretch and remind you how slow time is going.
These are people who are mostly just focused on regularly doing the math for how much time they have left in any given day. It’s a decent amount of calculations too. They subtract the minutes from their smoke breaks, the minutes from their bathroom breaks and the amount of time it takes for them to walk back and forth from the water cooler. The final number is something that’s only relevant the second they come up with the answer.
4 The Work Vet
The person struggling through their workday, as represented by this grizzled Rambo meme truly hates work deeply. This awesome image brilliantly conveys the exact emotion and expression of any battered employee abruptly confronted by the boss, whether they have been with company for a while or they’re in training. When asked how things are going (no matter how nightmarish it really is) all is suddenly well and good!
Does the fact that two co-workers are out sick, emails are piling up, phones haven’t stopped and you are behind matter? Nah…things could not be better. We also want to throw out there another reason this meme is appropriate is because very often grueling days on the job can feel like war.
As we know, “To survive a war, you gotta become war.” – John Rambo
3 The Procrastinator
Due to their complete lack of reliability, people who procrastinate at work are among the most hated. It takes a lot of beers purchased (on them) after work to get beyond the fact that they put off everything from the smallest to the largest tasks at work. Many times their procrastination is actually to the detriment of the team.
It’s ironic because in many instances the amount of time wasted coming up with creative solutions to avoid doing work is less than the amount of time it would take to just do the work. It goes without saying; underneath all of the procrastinating is an intense dislike for the job. Rarely will anyone put off doing work they like or at the very least don’t mind.
2 The Payroll Leech
Leveling-up from ‘procrastinator’ we have the person who skates through work and literally does nothing. These people truly hate work in any form. It’s a miracle they were hired and they are really only content when they can somehow manage to do nothing. Sure, people who procrastinate are irritating but they at least do their work…eventually…when they get around to it.
Payroll leeches are a true wonder to behold. Thankfully, they rarely last very long at any place they manage to trick into hiring them. No matter how many people they manage to become “cool” with eventually no co-worker, manager or boss has any use for someone who actively strives to do nothing. Unless of course they were hired thanks to nepotism, then they’ll simply fail upward until they are running the entire show. And by ‘running the entire show’ we mean their assistants or underlings will do everything.
1 The Person Who Has Just About Enough Of This ****
Our final entry in this list appropriately has to do with closure. Once a worker has hit their ceiling of hate and the “I quit” phase is in full effect, it's all downhill from there. With that in mind, a disgruntled employee may well seek out an alliance with a co-worker. This pretty much consists of them confiding in someone they trust, who they can vent to throughout their final days.
Really, truly, no-joke deciding to quit (as opposed to day-dreaming about doing so) means everyone at the job must be re-evaluated. Who can be trusted with the information regarding someone’s desires to hit the road? Many co-workers will remain in the dark about someone quitting until the person’s desk is empty and there’s a mystery puddle on the floor. Those few who are in on it however will be doomed to hearing endless grievances and covering for the disgruntled co-worker who slips off to Staples to print resumes every chance they get.