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15 Of The Most Hilarious Chandler Bing Quotes

Chandler Bing was arguably the funniest character on Friends. Incredibly sarcastic, the man always brought the funny to the long-running sitcom. Chandler never took himself too seriously and was always the first one to make a wisecrack about someone or even himself. He didn't like it when others made fun of him, though. He once admitted to only being able to "dish it out."

Chandler isn't the greatest at giving advice, but according to him, he can "interest you in a sarcastic comment." He was definitely the class clown of the group of friends and the show wouldn't have been nearly as funny without his character.

We've compiled a list of some of Chandler's funniest quotes, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the laughs.

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15 "I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!"

Via: Tumblr

One of Chandler's most popular quotes that has made its way around the internet in gif form was when he declared who he was with no shame. A lot of us can relate to being hopeless and awkward and let's be honest, desperate for love. The reason why this quote is so darn funny is because it's not normally something one would declare about themselves. What makes Chandler so awesome and relatable is the fact that he isn't afraid to admit his flaws or that he's incredibly awkward. After all, the best fictional characters are the ones that are flawed. Chandler is flawed in all the right ways, which makes him a fan favorite and one of the most relatable characters on the show.

14 "I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day."

Via: Hollywood

Sticking with his tendency to call himself out on his own crap and poke fun at himself, Chandler admitted to saying a lot of dumb things and he wasn't afraid to do so. Chandler has his flaws, yes, but the reason why he is so likeable is because he embraces them and owns up to them. He knows he's not perfect and doesn't pretend to be someone he's not, which is what makes his character so great. Even though Chandler does say dumb things a lot of the time, the things he says are actually pretty genius when it comes to comedy. The writers on Friends were spectacular, especially when it came to the words that came out of Chandler's mouth and Matthew Perry always delivered his lines flawlessly.

13 "You're a Door. You Only Like Knock-Knock Jokes."

Via: Hollywood

One of the greatest and most hilarious things about Chandler was that he often laughed at his own jokes. Even if no one else in the scene laughed, Chandler would crack himself up, which made him such a joy to watch. For instance, in one scene, he talks out loud to himself in the hallway of his apartment building in front of his apartment door and says "I'm funny, right?" He then says "What do you know? You're a door. You only like knock-knock jokes." Chandler then proceeds to laugh at his own cleverness. The way he often made himself laugh was hilarious. The joke was cheesy, yes, but the fact that Chandler found himself so funny was what actually made the joke so funny.

12 "You have to stop the q-tip when there's resistance!"

Via: Hollilla

When Joey is telling Chandler about his tailor that he's had since he was - well, Joey can't remember when exactly and keeps saying different ages he thinks he was since he's known his tailor. Chandler then responds by pretending to hold a q-tip to his ear and says "you have to stop the q-tip when there's resistance!"

Matthew Perry has said that this is his favorite line from the series and its easy to see why. There are a million things Chandler could have said to make fun of Joey in that moment, but the q-tip line was just so genius, it quickly went into the books as one of the most memorable lines from the show. It's definitely a good insult to have in your back pocket if you ever need one.

11 "So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay."

Via: Pinterest

One of the many reasons why Chandler was so hilarious is because he would randomly say whatever was on his mind. Random comments were his specialty. One such comment came in a scene when everyone was in the coffee shop quietly reading something except Chandler, of course. Out of nowhere, Chandler says "so it seems like this internet thing is here to stay, huh?" Monica then tells him "it's okay not to talk."

Oh, Chandler. Of course the internet is here to stay. His comment was clearly redundant. The man doesn't quite know what to do with silence. If he's not able to make a silly comment or joke about something, he just doesn't know what to do with himself. Monica knew exactly what to tell him. It's true. It's okay not to talk.

10 "Hi, I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable."

Via: The Odyssey Online

When Monica and Chandler bump into Monica's ex-boyfriend, Richard, and his date at a restaurant, Monica comments on the fact that Richard's mustache is back and then Chandler points out that Richard's date doesn't have a mustache. Noticing how incredibly awkward his comment was, Chandler introduces himself to Richard's date by saying "Hi, I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable."

This moment came at the end of season 6 when Chandler was planning a surprise proposal to Monica at dinner. Of course, his plan is ruined when Richard shows up with his date at the same restaurant. Poor Chandler. It seems the man can rarely catch a break. It all works out in the end, though, and he ends up proposing to Monica later at the apartment.

9 "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

Via: Tumblr

Because of the way he was raised, Chandler has a hard time expressing emotions. In an episode when Rachel is seeking advice, he tells her that he's not great at advice and asks her if he can offer her a sarcastic comment instead. Typical Chandler. He's not exactly the guy to go to for a serious conversation. Chandler uses humor and sarcasm as a sort of defense mechanism to avoid emotion. This can come off as annoying sometimes to his friends, especially whenever they are trying to be serious with him, but as a viewer, it makes him such a joy to watch because he can always be counted on to say something funny, even if it's at his own expense, such as this moment.

8 "If I were a guy and... did I just say 'if I were a guy?'"

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In an episode where Phoebe is talking to the gang about how she turned down David's proposal in Barbados, Chandler chimes in and says "she's right, if I were a guy and..." He then pauses and realizes what he just said. "Did I just say 'if I were a guy?'" The audience laughs hysterically. What makes this line so funny is that Chandler isn't exactly the manliest of men; he has a bit of a feminine side to him. He's not gay, but he's not afraid to take bubble baths after a long hard day at work. The best part of it is that Chandler totally embraces this side of himself. He's not ashamed of it and is confident in his sexuality. Bubble baths for the win.

7 "I'm a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last twelve hundred times."

Via: Buzzfeed

It is known from early on in the series that Chandler despises working out. Monica tries to get him to exercise on a Sunday once and he states that he doesn't move on Sundays. There was also that time that Ross tried to help him quit his gym membership because he never used it. Instead, Ross ended up caving in and getting a membership himself. At the beginning of this episode, Monica discovers that Chandler owns a gym card. Chandler's response to her discovery is "oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last 1200 times." Ross asks Chandler why he doesn't quit the gym and Chandler says that he's tried to. "They make you go all the way down there!" he exclaims.

6 "Until I was 25, I thought that the only response to 'I love you' was 'oh, crap!'"

Via: iFunny

In an episode when Monica is telling Joey to talk to Rachel about his feelings for her, he says that he can't and that Monica and Chandler don't know what it's like to put yourself out there and get shot down. Chandler then responds and says "I don't know what that's like?! Up until I was 25, I thought the only response to 'I love you' was 'oh, crap!'" Monica also mentions that she knows what it's like to be rejected, saying she got shot down at fat camp. "Boy, kids are mean when they're hungry," she said.

Until he started dating Monica, Chandler always had the worst luck with relationships. Because he was so goofy and closed off emotionally, relationships with women weren't his forte.

5 "Could we be more white trash?"

Via: Quora

In one episode, Chandler and Joey get everything stolen from them in their apartment, so they are without furniture. They end up getting a canoe and some lawn chairs to sit in in their living room. This was during the time when they had the baby ducks. So Chandler looks around their living room while sitting in a lawn chair drinking a beer and says to Joey, "could we be more white trash?" with an emphasis on the "be." With the lawn furniture, the canoe and the baby ducks, they definitely came off as being very white trash.

Chandler's catch phrase was to start sentences with "could that be any more..." His friends often made fun of him for this. One time Joey put on all of Chandler's clothes and said "could I be wearing any more clothes?" Definitely one of the funniest moments in the entire series.

4 "Maybe he was nervous."

Via: Comedy Central

In an early season one episode, Ross is on the phone with someone from his job at the museum, talking about early species of humans. Ross is correcting his co-worker on the phone saying that Australopithecus wasn't supposed to be in a certain display that they had him in because unlike Homo habilis, Australopithecus was never fully erect. Chandler takes this opportunity to make a joke and says "well maybe he was nervous." Ross just looks at him as if he's annoyed.

This line uttered by Chandler was definitely one of the most memorable of the series because of it's genius factor. Remember, this was in the early 90's, long before "that's what she said" was made famous by Michael Scott on The Office.

3 "This parachute is a knapsack!"

Via: The Odyssey Online

In an episode where Ross' ex-wife is having a baby, Monica gets sad because she wishes she had a baby of her own. Chandler proposes to Monica that if when they are 40 and are both not married, they could get together and have one. Monica then gets defensive and asks why she won't be married when she's 40. Chandler states that he's just talking hypothetically. Monica then gets a little angrier and says "hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?" She then gets more riled up and asks if there was something particularly unmarriageable about her. Chandler then gets flustered and doesn't know how to respond to angry Monica, so he falls over the back of his chair while saying "dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!" Nice save, Chandler.

2 "I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts!"

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In the episode where Chandler tries to quit the gym, Ross has to go down there with him, because the people working at the gym are really good at guilting people into keeping their memberships. As soon as they arrive at the gym, Ross gives Chandler a little pep talk, telling him he's capable of not caving into the gym's guilt-trips. Ross gives him a practice run and asks him "don't you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard pecs?" Chandler responds with "no, I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts." Possibly one of the most giggle-inducing lines uttered by Chandler, this line is incredibly hilarious but also totally relatable to anyone who hates going to the gym.

1 "I am not blah, I am a hoot!"

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Joey once dated a woman who wasn't too fond of Monica and Chandler. They went on a double date one night and Joey's date, Janine, said that she doesn't really enjoy spending time with them and wants to get out of spending two nights in a row with them. Joey tells her that Monica and Chandler are his best friends, so if she doesn't like them, then it will be a problem for him. Janine says that Chandler is a bit "blah" and that Monica is a bit loud. Once word of this gets back to Chandler, he gets offended and says "I am not blah, I am a hoot!" Monica also gets defensive, saying how she doesn't understand why Janine doesn't like them because they couldn't have been nicer to her.

Chandler is right about himself, though. He really is a hoot.

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