Disney is known for its family-friendly, fairytale-inspired, happy-go-lucky storylines, which is why it’s such a beloved category for children and adults alike. Tumblr, on the other hand, is definitely not G-rated, more than a little hilarious, and sometimes a downward spiral into the dark humour and dirty minds of so many of its users.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Tumblr, which is why I opted to write this article! In fact, I think smashing together Disney and Tumblr can only lead to great (albeit highly inappropriate, potentially childhood-ruining, mind-scarring) things. From drug use to death to sexually-suggestive content, Tumblr has taken your favourite Disney characters for quite a ride. These posts don’t feature your regular princes and princesses anymore! With all that being said, strap in and don't say I didn't warn you!
15 The Headless Princess
Pretty sure this wasn’t what Cinderella had in mind for her midnight makeover! Especially after the drama she just went through involving the dress she and all her animal friends made! Her Fairy Godmother got a little too enthusiastic and popped off her head in this disturbing Tumblr creation. Was it the choker that did it? I bet it was the choker.
The mice seem pretty shocked about the whole thing, but the Fairy Godmother is sort of like, “Oh dear, not again”, which makes me question her magical abilities and training. Bonus points for Cinderella here for still managing to execute an almost-perfect twirl, head or no head. You know, before she collapses. This is quintessentially Tumblr, which either ruins your childhood faves by making them dirty or killing them off. Or both.
14 Get It, Gurl
Speaking of dirty, of course Tumblr got Ariel from The Little Mermaid to be more than a little risqué when she washes ashore for the first time! Well, she is a girl who's just got new, so of course she wants to try them out! And Prince Eric – while being a bit of an idiot, because hello, she can’t talk but looks exactly like your mystery saviour – is still H-O-T! Who could blame her for gettin’ some?
Scuttle and Flounder are her perfect wingmen (wing creatures?), giving her that supportive thumbs-up when she delivers her sassy AF smile as Eric carries her off. Is this GIF safe for work or Disney appropriate? Absolutely not. Is it still hilarious and kind of totally true? You bet. It wouldn’t be Tumblr-esque otherwise!
13 Magic Carpet Ride
Oh, boy. With the best screenshots and a really literal take on the lyrics of ‘A Whole New World’, you’ve got some quality Tumblr gold. And that reaction face at the very end? Perfect. Let’s be honest here, while there is a magic carpet in Aladdin, the creators of the song must’ve known that at some point in the future, some people would eventually read a little too into those lines, and have a little wink-wink, nudge-nudge moment about the whole song. Thank you, Internet, for turning certain words automatically sexual to the point of being unable to use them in proper conversation. (Looking at you, ‘moist’.)
Far from ruining your childhood, maybe the inappropriate Tumblr post gives you another layer to enjoy? Okay, maybe not, maybe the song is just ruined for you forever. Sigh.
12 The Real Reason for Finding Nemo
I love Finding Nemo. Like, really love it. It makes me laugh and cry and I enjoy the storyline, just all of it. So I was really, hideously grossed out when I read this Tumblr post! I hate that someone found this out, and then shared it with the internet! Have we no decency?
So, with this scientific truth, we have a whole bunch of grossness going on, including incest and the total annihilation of a really cute story! That face they chose right there, that is me, even as I’m typing this. I prefer to believe that science and truth are suspended in the land of Disney. (I mean, hello, we have talking animals and furniture and junk.) That’s the only way I can still enjoy this movie without having to bleach my brain.
11 A King’s Thrown
Remember when Rafiki majestically lifted baby Simba up to take in the sun and reveal him to the rest of the animals at Pride Rock? Remember when they cheered and were so happy for their new lion king? Yeah, this GIF imagines things a little differently.
Instead of showing off Simba, Rafiki hurls his cute little cub body straight off the cliff! Is he working with Scar? In league with the hyenas? Something to consider! This is yet another instance of Tumblr’s dark and twisted mind, but the real cherry on top is the shot of all the animals who are cheering for poor Simba’s demise! The beauty of this (hilariously) inappropriate post is that everything is all fine and normal, until it’s suddenly – gruesomely – not.
10 Lost Boys
Okay, this one hurts, and has been a conspiracy theory of Disney fans for ages. This would make Peter Pan a pretty mischievous little angel, but it’s definitely a theory worth looking at. Basically, he would be sort of ferrying them to Heaven (aka Neverland) after they’d died, which is why they (and he) never grow up. This way, they can still have all sorts of adventures without coming to terms with actually dying!
A separate – and less optimistic theory – is that Peter Pan was actually a murderer, who kidnapped children to bring to Neverland and who regularly “thinned out” his legions of Lost Boys once they got too old to stay in Neverland, or began to disagree with Peter. Read more about that creepy little idea here.
9 Tiny Ratatouille
So this was actually put into a Disney movie – no editing required! – but of course it was the people on Tumblr who were the ones with warped enough minds to point it out! It’s a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, but someone went to the trouble to slow the movie down to confirm their dirty-minded suspicions! For that, I thank them.
In all honesty, Ratatouille is one of the very few Disney movies I haven’t actually watched (I know, I know, I’m sorry), but I know the jist of the story. (I think it was the unsanitary idea of a rat at work in a kitchen that turned me off.) But if it comes with a d*** joke this good, I’m more than willing to give it a try!
8 The Hundred Acre Wood of Mental Health Issues
Is this sad? Yes. Is it totally, scarily true? Also yes.
Poor Winnie the Pooh, dealing with his binge-eating of honey and whatever else he can get his furry hands on. Then we’ve got Tigger, with his ADHD that keeps him (literally) bouncing off the walls. Piglet’s debilitating fear is clearly the result of acute anxiety, and I think we all knew that Eeyore was majorly depressed and a total buzzkill. Rabbit’s perfectionistic tendencies fit in perfectly with a particularly brutal case of OCD, and then we’re left with Christopher Robin. I’m assuming Tumblr diagnosed him with schizophrenia because he’s imagining all the animals in the Hundred Acre Wood are talking to him? That’s a dark spin on what’s an adorable children’s tale! Thanks, Tumblr, for ruining our collective childhoods yet again!
7 Alice in Drugland
Okay, to be fair, this entry isn’t too far off the mark in terms of what people think Alice in Wonderland is really about, although that doesn’t make it any less inappropriate. (Poor Disney! No one is safe from the wrath of the Internet!)
This movie’s a fan favourite when it comes to theories about drug-induced delusions and hallucinations, from the pipe-smoking, talking Caterpillar to the eating of multiple mushrooms by Alice and others to the insane Mad Hatter. Is it really such a stretch to imagine that Alice is snorting piles of cocaine instead of over-pouring sugar at the Mad Tea Party? Plus, you’ve gotta admire the artistry of this GIF – so simple, but totally effective! And that font choice almost makes it classy, all things considered.
6 The Truth of Monsters, Inc.
It’s a whole new level of inappropriate here! With Disney and Pixar, it’s a common practice to hide ‘Easter eggs’ throughout movies that are set in the same universe. (One example is seeing advertisements and logos of the Pizza Planet restaurant that first appeared in Toy Story.)
This Tumblr post is another instance where Tumblr users just looked very carefully at what was in front of them, instead of adding something new. In this case, PETA would be up in arms about seeing our beloved Sully relegated to a toilet seat cover! It’s a clever little nod to the existence of one universe within all the movies, but I can’t agree with this theory (or post), because it makes me too depressed. Poor Sully, he deserved better than this!
5 See Life
More than the picture itself, Tumblr is at it again with the comments! Truly, it’s the comments that make this post. I feel like the creators of these leggings didn’t think it all the way through, and then the girls who bought these in droves either didn’t notice or, if they did, didn’t care.
I’m thinking these leggings could be a seriously great conversation piece, and the jokes basically write themselves! This is definitely a tamer post when it comes to Tumblr’s standards, but is still no less inappropriate when it comes to kid-friendly Disney. If you’re looking to wear your own mermaid-style leggings, these are unfortunately no longer available at Hot Topic, but if you still want to live your life as one of the best sea creatures, they do have some great scale-print ones! Win-win!
4 When It Hits...
This article wouldn’t be complete without a little toilet humour! Of course, this GIF comes from the part in The Little Mermaid when Ariel is about to turn back into a mermaid, but you have to admit that changing it to diarrhea is just too perfect! If you suffer from IBS or have just had too much Mexican food one night, you can cringe and totally get this GIF.
I mean, at least Ariel will be back in the ocean, where her whole world is her toilet, right? It’s just such a shame that Prince Eric is wearing that expensive-looking white jacket. This entry takes the dirty humour that so many Tumblr users find in Disney moves to the literal side of things, and I couldn’t be happier about that decision.
3 Hakuna My Tatas
I warned you! This is kind of a favourite for me (what does that say about me?), because again, it’s just Tumblr users adding commentary to a very suggestive scene from The Lion King. (And this entry is totally true! Because afterwards we have The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride!)
The phrase ‘Hakuna my tatas’ is probably one of the best things I’ve ever read, on Tumblr or anywhere else, and I dare you to listen to the ‘Hakuna Matata’ song again with a straight face. Perhaps this should be your new come-on line. Just imagine, the lights are dim, your SO or whoever is getting closer and your whisper in their ear, “Babe, I want you to hakuna my tatas”. Then break into song. Game over.
2 Colour Your World
I’m sure you’ve seen some of these, er, creative entries floating around the internet, but they get no less disturbing no matter how many times you see them. Fortunately, I’ve put a few of them here for your enjoyment!
These talented artists took some family-friendly, G-rated colouring books and turned them into something decidedly less kid-appropriate. We’ve got Gaston doing his best RuPaul impression, Aurora of Sleeping Beauty being less than loving towards woodland creatures, Winnie the Pooh thinking about something other than honey for once, Rapunzel getting her kink on with Flynn Rider, and a drug-tripping Mickey Mouse. These are some of the tamer ones, but if you’re looking for something a bit more twisted, click here, and may God have mercy on your soul.
1 Let It Flow
Do all you girls feel me here? This is so accurate it hurts, because I’m laughing so much. I’m a big fan of Weird Al-ing lyrics, and these Tumblr users don’t disappoint in their transformation of ‘Let It Go’ to something a little bloodier. (Also, I’m getting major elementary school vibes with this, because it was way more embarrassing than high school, which is another reason why this Frozen post is too perfect.)
This entry doesn’t show you the exact GIF of Anna waddling it out, so I highly suggest you take a look at that because it clinches the post. Just like the ‘Hakuna my tatas’ entry above, I dare you to try and not sing ‘Let It Go’ with these altered lines. Go on, give it a shot!