15 Paintings That Prove Renaissance Artists Were Total Pervs

Who doesn’t love a good piece of art? Even if a person isn’t necessarily an art connoisseur, they can still appreciate a good painting or statue. It’s no secret that some of the best and also strangest art, was created during the Renaissance Period. People began to open up, get creative and paint and create things that had never been seen before. As artists began to have a much freer relationship with their work, they started to focus extensively on the male and female forms and this resulted in a lot of less restrictive artwork. Some of it was meant to elicit a certain amount of carnal passion and some wasn’t. As with most pieces of art, it’s all in what the observer sees and feels from it. Haven’t you noticed how perverted Renaissance artists were? Well, check out these 15 paintings that prove Renaissance artists were total pervs. It’s okay to feel a little creeped out, just shake it off and move on.

15 Just Riding A Horse Naked - No Big Deal

Can we all just take one small second to think about how uncomfortable this would be for both the woman and the horse? It’s hard enough to ride a horse with clothes on, let alone without any. Where did this woman come from? Why is she naked? Better yet, why didn’t she just use the horse’s cape to cover herself? I’m sure the horse wouldn’t mind. This painting is called Lady Godiva and is based on the legend of Godgifu who was an Italian woman who rode her horse through the streets naked as the day she was born with only her long hair covering her. Anyone who deliberately watched her could be struck blind or even dead. Like anyone isn’t going to look at a naked girl on horseback.

14 Time To Slow Down On The Wine

Via Wikipedia

Who doesn’t love a good glass of wine? If you are drinking and start taking your clothes off and having visions of cherubs all around you, you either have some really good wine or some really bad wine. Either way, it’s probably time to put down the glass or bottle. I guess when you’re Venus and Adonis, you don’t have to worry about how many calories are in the wine or if you will be too hungover in the morning to go to the gym. They are after all, the perfect examples of the how the male and female body should look. I guess if I had a perfect body than I would just sit around and drink all day too. Even the cherubs look a little tipsy.

13 A Girl Can't Even Swing Without Someone Looking Up Her Skirt

Via Imgur

What is the purpose of wearing a big fluffy dress and undergarments if a guy is still going to be able to look up your dress when you swing? I hope his view was blocked by all that lace and fabric. This painting is called The Swing and was created by Jean-Honoré Fragonard. It depicts a young woman on a swing who is apparently enjoying herself and completely oblivious to the fact that their is a stranger hiding in a bush and watching her swing. Well he’s not so much watching her swing as he is just looking up her dress as she swings. Get a clue girl, don’t be swinging in a dress and pay better attention to your surroundings. There are creepers everywhere.

12 At The Sistine Chapel Of All Places

Via Srod23

Church is probably the last place you expect to find erotic paintings, but the Sistine Chapel ceiling is covered in elicit images. It’s such an utterly impressive work of art, that it’s really hard to notice how many naked people are in it. There are lot of muscular men that are missing pants and women striking all sorts of wanton poses. I guess if you think the human form is beautiful without being erotic, or that it can be both beautiful AND erotic then there is nothing wrong with this painting. But you have to wonder what everyone was thinking when they asked to have all these naked people painted in such a religious place. It makes you think what kind of life they led behind closed doors.

11 Excuse Me Miss, I Can See Your Butt Crack

Via Wikipedia

This painting is called The Judgement Of Paris, but it may as well be called The Lap Dance Of Paris. What is going on here? The story behind the painting is that Zeus was unable to judge which of the three goddesses; Aphrodite, Hera and Athena, was the fairest. He didn’t want to make the decision so he gave Paris the job. The goddesses first posed for Paris in clothing and when he couldn’t make a choice they took off their clothes in hopes of making his decision easier. Aphrodite offered to give him the most beautiful mortal woman on earth, which was Helen, if he chose her. He agreed and when the Greeks tried to bring Helen back home, the Trojan War began. Trust a bunch of men with over inflated egos to start a war over something like this. Fragile masculinity has obviously been a thing since way before the ancient greeks.

10 Finally Someone With Some Modesty

Via LibArts

This painting is called Joseph and Potiphar's Wife, but it should be called Joseph and Potiphar's Naked Wife. I don’t know which guy she was married to first, but apparently neither of them could buy her any clothes. Let the poor girl go shopping. When she finally did find something to wear, the other guy in the painting came along and snatched it from her. Unlike most of the other carefree and naked women in these paintings, this lady actually seems like she wants to wear clothes. She is trying to hold onto her garment while it is being pulled away. We can only hope she found herself something to wear and also a third husband who isn’t afraid to buy her something nice once in a while.

9 Well, This Is Awkward

So if you know anything about Greek Mythology, you probably already know that Zeus was somewhat of a womanizer. If he wanted to be with a woman he would find a way to make it happen one way or another. A lot of women were happy to make love to a god, but some resisted. Leda was one of the women who resisted Zeus so he had to transform into a swan to be with her. For some reason, it was more acceptable to paint photos of women making love to swans than men, and this painting was considered to be very erotic during Renaissance times. Wonder why this wasn’t covered in art class? Oh yea, because it’s weird and disturbing. I would have rather just seen a muscular Zeus and not a weird painting about bestiality. But that's just me.

8 Someone Find Venus Some Clothes

Via SmartHistory

This lovely lady is called Venus of Urbino and the story behind this painting is pretty simple. The artist, like most males, just wanted to paint a naked woman. To be fair, there may be a story, but it’s not clear. Maybe the artist had one in mind but wasn’t able to get it across in his work. So what are the maids in the background doing rummaging through that box? Looking for some clothes for Venus of course. If I were in her position I would be clamouring for a gown. Even a towel would do! This just goes to show that this was the beginning of x rated art. I guess there wasn’t a lot of excitement back in the renaissance times and if they wanted to see a naked woman, they had to paint one themselves.

7 Wow, What A Party

This looks like a good time doesn’t it? This painting is called The Garden Of Earthly Delights. This elaborate piece is believed to be a depiction of day that God created man, but it looks like the things going on in this painting are a true depiction of humanity with all its drama and eroticism with just some biblical references added for show. Nobody is wearing clothes or grape leaves or anything to hide their bodies and it looks like there might be some naughty touching going on and possibly more. Is this an example of renaissance pornography? It may be one of the closest things to it. The artist probably knew exactly what he was creating, and it’s pretty obvious that his mind was in the gutter when he made this. To be fair it does look like a fun party.

6 If You Got It Flaunt It

Via ScatNStyle

This exquisite painting is called The Nude Maja and it is one of the most popular pieces of Spanish art ever created. It wasn’t always so popular though, because at one point it was considered perverted and dirty. The United States even banned the use of stamps with images of the painting on them and returned mail that used them. How absolutely crazy is that? Luckily, people have lightened up over the years and the painting is no longer banned. The controversy around the painting is one of the reasons so many people want to see if for themselves. I’m sure the fact that it depicts a naked woman with no shame helps a lot. Honestly, who knew artistic nudity could be so much fun?

5 Get Out Grandma!

Looks like the lovers in this painting were just about to get it on before someone’s grandmother walked in on them. What a mood killer! Does it get anymore embarrassing than that? I don’t think so. This painting was created by Giulio Romano, an artist who liked painting nudity and sex. It is believed to depict Zeus and Alcmene. The woman and the dog who are peeking in on them seem to be surprised to see a god with a mortal. Or they could just be shocked to have walked in on a couple working on some foreplay. Luckily, the couple doesn’t seemed to be too bothered by the intrusion. Renaissance art was so weird sometimes. Why would someone want to paint this? Ever heard of privacy?

4 Such Confidence

Via Wikipedia

Renaissance artists weren’t only obsesses with the female form, there is also plenty of erotic art featuring naked males too. Thank goodness right? The Statue of David is probably one of the most famous pieces of all time and easily recognizable; even by people who don’t necessarily know much about art. The statue was inspired by the hero David (David and Goliath) from the bible. Why did he have to be naked? Nobody really knows. It is believed that the statue was meant to be a political piece, but most people don’t need to know the meaning behind it to enjoy it. It is an amazing piece of art for sure. Even if it is a little bold and erotic. Who wouldn't enjoy staring at a statue of a naked man all day?

3 She's Just Not Into You

Via Etsy

This painting is called Venus And The Loot Player and from the looks of it, Venus just isn’t into lutes or that guy playing it. Could she be anymore obvious? She’s isn’t paying the slightest attention to him even though he is clearly staring at her naked body. Maybe she would be less distracted if she had some clothes. Or maybe she just enjoys the feeling of not having to bother with such trivial things. There’s even a cherub putting a crown on her head and she isn’t very excited about that either. Venus has it all; the body, the guy, the crown, the view. So why is she so bored and uninterested? Is this what happens to people who have it all? They are just no longer happy about anything? It's probably because the guy is boring as hell.

2 Just Dancing Naked With My Friends

Via Pinterest

This painting is called The Three Graces. They seem to be having the time of their lives being naked though. They are dancing around, prancing and smiling. They aren’t even bothered by the fact that their scarves are falling off of them and their butt cracks are being seen by all. I wish I had that kind of confidence and that strong of a friendship with anyone. Once you have danced in the woods naked together, I think you are pretty much bound together for life. I’m still trying to decide where you put a painting like this? In your living room? Dining room? Bedroom? I think I'd just rather look at it online or in a museum. I don’t need a painting of butt cheeks hanging on my wall.

1 The Renaissance Was A Wild Time


Wouldn’t it be nice to just have everyone admiring you as you stand in a giant clam shell naked? Depending on the person it would either be horribly creepy and awkward or incredibly empowering and liberating. Venus here looks above all mortal drama and concerns. She has just emerged from the sea full grown as a queen ready to rule all mortals. And it looks like those surrounding her are stanning hard for her. This popular painting is on the walls of many museums, homes and even restaurants. It’s a beautiful painting and has inspired generations of artists to express themselves freely. When you think about how everyone in the world lost their minds when Kim Kardashian showed her butt on a magazine, it's clear we haven't really evolved as a species if we're still phased by something normal as nudity.

More in LOL