Lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my! Pets are awesome and all that, but most people tend to gravitate towards a nice and comfortable animal, such as a cat or dog. But, what about the ones out there looking for a little adventure? Maybe they’re thinking of a llama (without the farm), a goat, or an…ocelot. That’s right, depending on the state you live in, you can own this giant cat just like the beautiful Cheryl Tunt. But, do you even want to own one? I mean, we’ve seen some things on Archer, am I right? Animals are awesome, and having a pet is even more awesome. So, wouldn’t you want to cuddle up to your soft furry friend after a long hard day at work, rather than getting urine in your eyes when you anger your ‘little baby’?
Nevertheless, here are 15 animals that you can actually legally own in the United States.
This boss of an animal is furry and adorable. No wonder people want to keep them as pets; they’re basically just giant guinea pigs! These rodents are about the size of dogs and have the same demeanor as an old lab just sitting outside on a cool and sunny day, chilling with his family and friends.
They also love water, so if you’re thinking about getting one of these as a pet, get yourself a kiddie pool and let your cute capybara just laze around to their heart’s content! Not only do they look sort of similar to beavers, but their teeth never stop growing, so it would be a great idea to give them some sticks and branches to gnaw on, too (instead of having to throw out your outdoor furniture). Another fun and ridiculous tidbit about capybaras is that they have been legitimately named ‘nature’s ottoman.’ Seriously, birds (and even other capybaras) just love to sit on capybaras. They look soft and sturdy, so maybe they’re onto something? There’s even Tumblr pages and blogs devoted solely to other animals just sitting on capybaras.
How this is even legal, very few people will know. This animal is basically the definition of death; I mean, haven’t we all seen the Archer episodes? This animal from the cat kingdom is insanely adorable, but would be complete hell to have around the home. Not only will you get urine on everything you hold so dear, but just like a toddler, ocelots love to ignore any disciplinary commands. Their mating growl is also as terrifying as can be, sounding somewhat like a storm about to rip through your home, killing everyone and everything in its path.
On the other hand, if you have a rodent problem you'd be in luck because ocelots are carnivorous and love to hunt their meals. Besides being large, most definitely in charge, and slightly terrifying, you can also plan on keeping your beloved around for the long haul because if they’re treated properly, they can live up to 20 years! Fun fact about ocelots as pets: Salvador Dali owned one; take that however you wish.
13 Pot-bellied pig
Do you remember the craze with teacup pigs? Yeah, teacup pigs don’t actually remain miniature for very long. Eventually, they start to grow, then mature into their full body, ending up as big as a medium-sized dog. There goes your adorable little pet. One of the most popular types of miniature pig is the pot-bellied pig. This breed of pig originates from Vietnam, have great personalities, and are very smart. When pot-bellied pigs get bored, they like to destroy a lot of things. So, if you’re thinking about getting one of these suckers as a pet, make sure you have enough room for it to run and play outside and keep your pig well occupied. While their destruction of things in their path can be a turn-off, the ability to train your pig—much like you would a dog or house cat—can give appeal to these large animals.
12 Fennec foxes
Just look at that furry face! These adorable little creatures make for some very cute Instagram selfies with you and your pet. These little cuties are the smallest breed of foxes in the world and live anywhere from around 10 to 15 years (much like a smaller breed of a dog or cat). The satellite dishes found on top of their head are perfect for listening to prey underground, as they like to eat bugs, insects, and smaller animals. Just like a temperamental cat, fennec foxes can get finicky when it comes to attention. Being snuggled up close to you is great for them, but if they’re not in the mood and you try to give them a pat on the head, both you and the fox will not be happy. However, as much as they may be annoyed with touch and attention, fennec foxes actually like to hang around with a house cat or dog. Go figure. Make sure your dog isn’t one that is a hunting breed, though, otherwise your adorable little fennec fox may be their next snack.
11 Sugar glider
When you first see these ridiculous creatures, your first thought may be, "What in the shenanigans is that thing?" Fair thinking. This marsupial has giant eyes, a tiny body, and large spanning hands. Once you get past their strange appearance, you'll find that these little guys are quite cute. They live anywhere from 12 to 15 years and love tasty treats, such as sweet fruits and vegetables. Unlike your wishy-washy dog, and your temperamental cat, a sugar glider loves to be with you. Whether you’re out in public getting some groceries, doing some yard work, or heading over to a friend's house, a sugar glider will not leave your side once they have formed a connection with you. How cute is that?
If a ferret and a leopard had a baby, then it would look like the genet. Even though they don’t actually come from either of these two animals (and are, in fact, not related to any domestic animal), they resemble these two so closely, it’s a little unnerving. These beautiful creatures can be a slippery pet as they can squeeze through any place that will allow their head to fit through. This means that if you don’t want them to slink off to a place they’re not supposed to be, you better keep an eye on them or seal up any spaces that they can easily fit through. Genets can live off your table scraps consisting of chicken, eggs, and fruit. If you have a mice problem, or live outside of a bustling city, get yourself a genet to chase after mice and keep them away from your home.
Kinkajous love to be around people (if they like you at all, that is). They’re adorable little guys that look like a weird hybrid between monkeys, lemurs, and raccoons. Their tail can be used to grasp branches and sticks while they climb trees, kind of like a long and creepy hand with a stellar grip. About the size of house cats, kinkajous are extremely cute and can be very playful, with a love of jumping around when you’re trying to find a little peace and quiet. While they are not as slow as a sloth is on a good day, kinkajous are a cuddly pet to have and like to go about things lazily—that includes taking much-needed naps! Who doesn’t need a nap, anyways? The downside to a kinkajou? They like to go to the bathroom pretty much anywhere they wish and are too hard-headed to get trained using a litter box.
People love small pets—they’re easy to care for, can be left alone for longer periods of time, and don’t require as much attention as a dog would. However, degus don’t work that way. They love to be social and love to interact with other degus. So, if you’re thinking about getting one of these furry creatures, think about getting more than one (and they must be the same sex). Buy more than one degu at a time to ensure that they are used to one another and learn to love each other (it's kind of like having roommates, degus just want to know what they’re getting into right from the start). Degus, like everyone else in the world, love to get treats. When you first bring your little friend home, offer him treats to help get him used to you and his new home.
Reptiles can be pretty disgusting. And, even though an axolotl doesn’t fall into the category of reptiles, it still falls into the category of animals purchased by people who buy reptiles. This animal is for those people who love to keep giant spiders in their home just to feed them, care for them, and watch them. Although, they’re a lot cooler than a giant spider and a lot cuter than a boring, old snake. Axolotls look like an animated alien from outer space and nearly always look like they’re smiling. These guys are known as a Mexican salamander or Mexican walking fish, due in part to their little legs. They range from half a foot to a full foot in size and live for about 15 years, so plan on keeping this silly-looking pet around for a while. If anything, you can tell your little cousins or nieces and nephews that your axolotl is actually an alien that you found one day.
Guys! This is your chance to own an animal that resembles a small kangaroo! Now, who doesn’t want a kangaroo living in their backyard? They could teach you boxing lessons, how to jump, and the best way to store things for a rainy day. A wallaroo is part of the same family that spawned wallabys and kangaroos, and just as you’ve seen pictures of kangaroos wearing diapers, so would a wallaroo (if you intend to keep them in the household). They don’t latch on to the idea of a litter box very well. Wallaroos need lots of room to play and roam around, having the great time that they know they deserve. They also like to eat grasses and the like, so owning a lawn mower is no longer needed. A pet that is adorable, fun, and does chores? It’s like the perfect animal to have around. Except they’re insanely expensive, so maybe just hire a gardener instead.
Honestly, why it’s legal to own a large cat that can easily kill you, is beyond me. However, servals are pretty damn cute and can be house broken, so maybe there’s some reasoning here. They look very similar to that of a leopard, but with a house cat-like head sitting on top, watching your every move. These giant death machines need tons of space to hunt their prey, run around, and do general serval-like stuff.
Just serval stuff, no big deal. Just like those pesky ocelots, servals also like to pee on everything that they find territorial. Although they are giant fur balls and can love to cuddle and play, they weight about 50 lbs and can knock over a small toddler if they get too excited. So, if you love your children and don’t want them to be mauled by a large animal, perhaps a serval isn’t for you.
These guys are incredibly playful and love to have fun. They like table scraps such as chicken, eggs, fruit and will also go for some dog food if the mood strikes. They’ve long ringed tails, longer snouts, and are related to the old-time robber, the raccoon. People who own coatimundis even snuggle in bed with them at night (like one would with a labradoodle). And, why not? They’re incredibly soft, playful as a puppy, and love to cuddle. Getting a coatimundi and training them well, is just like having playful and fun puppy without the messes. That being said, just like a puppy, you can’t leave your coatmundi for very long. They crave attention and need to be occupied nearly all day. If you’ve a household of rambunctious dogs, a coatimundi will jump right in and play to its little heart’s content!
Haven’t you always wanted a pet monkey? This baby monkey gives you the perfect opportunity to do so, while keeping it low-key. They live for a very long time (up to 20 years) and can be difficult, or tedious, to care for. A fully grown marmoset is under one pound and can easily fit inside your hand. These adorable monkeys can emit a strong odor through their urine, so monkey diapers (yes, that's an actual thing) are a definite must for your new pet. You can let these rascals loose in your home, but make sure there’s nothing they can get into, because they most definitely will. Just like a cookie jar left open on the counter doesn’t go over well with your husband or children, it wouldn't go over well with a marmoset, either.
These spiky little friends may not seem as exotic as some of the other animals you can keep as pets on this list, but they’re not your average dog or guinea pig, either. Temperamental as can be, your hedgehog can be a real jerk at times. They’re nocturnal and love to run around on their wheel all night. Which means, if you have a squeaky wheel, you should get it fixed immediately (or risk hearing the squeaks all night long). They don’t have to be kept in cages, but you can make a home of bedding and fun toys for them to burrow into in a large open area, like a plastic bathtub. Hedgehogs will very rarely escape their nest of a home. Insanely soft underneath, their spikes can be dangerous when they’re mad, but won’t seem as painful when they’re in a happy place. Hedgies love to go for baths and can swim to their little hearts' content when they need freshening up.
Like a fat squirrel with rounded ears. How else do you describe a chinchilla? Chinchillas are becoming more popular as small pets, such as guinea pigs or hamsters. Except, chinchillas are a lot cooler than hamsters because, well, hamsters are quite boring. Chinchillas love to run around and play, and have an attention span closer to that of a goldfish. But, they have super soft fur, are easy to take care of, and look incredibly adorable. Since they’re actually rodents, chinchillas love to chew on things. So, just make sure that you don’t forget about your little friend, as he may go and whittle down your coffee table to wood chips. Just like cats, your chinchilla is also going to be more excited about that box that their super expensive toy came in, rather than the toy itself.