You make the best with what you've been given. And if you were born with a disability, or if you ended up disabled down the road, you know most people without disabilities take for granted what they have. When you have to work a little harder to overcome challenges in life, it might be easy to become bitter.
But not these people. For them, their disability is simply a fact of life, so why not have fun with it? They can’t change the circumstances of what life doled out, but they can absolutely adapt and find new ways to laugh at it all.
15 The two-handed burger
An imagined call into the McDonald’s customer complaint line:
“No sir. We didn’t mean that having two hands was a prerequisite for purchasing and eating a Grand Mac. Yes, sir, we know it says ‘You’re gonna need two hands.’ It’s meant to illustrate how large the burger is and that normal people would need two hands. No, I didn’t mean that you’re not normal. It just might be more of a challenge for you to eat it one-handed. No, sir. I’m not saying you have freakishly small hands...er…hand. I’m sure you have managed to eat large sandwiches before. As a token of apology, please accept these coupons for 2 free Grand Macs. You’re welcome, sir. As part of customer service we like to have a hands-on approach. Wait. I didn’t mean…hello? Hello?”
14 Tinder part 1: I’ll never run away from you
Mandy Horvath was born with the full use of two legs and a wicked sense of humor. After a horrible train accident, she lost her legs, but her sense of humor only became stronger.
On her Tinder profile, she lists that she’s a “stand up comedian by day.” She also says that she’s taking her condition “in stride.”
Then she unleashes her series of one-liners.
“My life was a train wreck (literally hit by a f****** train), here's some awesome benefits from it:
- I'll never run away from you
- Front row parking
- Technically I can still doggy paddle, I even have s*xy land roving bionic legs
- I have similar functionalities to a vacuum, easily portable - I **** on wheels and I suck
- It's not uncomfortable for my feet to be above my head”
It’s absolutely no surprise that she has no problem finding a date.
13 Tinder part 2: Arms dealer
Lauren opens strong with her self-deprecating stand-up routine on her Tinder profile. She says, “hands down the best catcher on Tinder. Face 10/10, body 9/10, personality 20/10, arms 1/2.”
Then she lists her occupation as “arms dealer.”
Best thing about this profile? She wrote it while totally smashed. She was quoted as saying, “Lauren explains, “I got home pretty drunk, and I don’t remember typing it up really, I just woke up to someone DM’ing me a Reddit post asking if it was me, and I was like d***, I guess it is.”
She also has a message for people that feel guilty for thinking it’s funny, “People always respond like, ‘Oh, I feel bad for laughing, and I’m like, ‘No! I think it’s funny…I made it!”
When you’re this beautiful and funny, having no arm is no obstacle for dating.
12 Tinder part 3: $5 Wheelchair rides
This hilarious Tinder profile belongs to 29-year-old Robert, who lost the use of his legs after a gymnastics accident. But fear not! Robert is still on the dating scene and not letting any past tragedy slow him down.
He writes: “I can’t feel my d***, can I feel yours? Wheelchair rides $5.”
If this puts questions in the heads of anyone curious to spend some intimate time with Robert, he clarifies, “Fear not! My d*** still works! I know you were thinking it, pervert!” Whew, that’s saves us from asking any indelicate questions on Tinder. So if any of you guys from the Big Rapids, Michigan area want a $5 wheelchair ride, feel free to hit up Robert. He owns his own house and a black lab so he must be doing something right. :)
11 If you’re happy and you know it…
For context, the original poster remarked, “Lose right arm and break my left hand friend gives me this shirt.” Hahaha.
Well, good on him for actually wearing it and agreeing to have his photo taken. We don’t know whether he recently lost his right arm or if it has been gone for awhile; either way, we almost feel bad for laughing. Almost. In all honesty, the look on his face tells us he thinks it’s pretty funny too.
If he’s looking for a new spirit animal, that T-Rex looks to be the front runner on the list. Other candidates include short-armed kangaroos or the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard. Don’t worry man, even though you can’t clap, you can still give us a high five. After your broken hand heals, of course.
10 Snow Angel
OMG, nothing is going to stop this guy. The sheer unadulterated look of joy on his face is priceless as he makes his version of a snow angel. What? Being a quadruple amputee is hard enough, no need to deprive yourself of some of the simpler pleasures, like rolling around in the snow and making snow angels like when you were a kid. In fact, it kind of makes us want to go make a snow angel right now.
We’d be curious to know what kind of adapted equipment and prosthetics he uses to get around. But we can picture him taking a walk one day, seeing the snow and spontaneously throwing off his prosthetics so he could make the angel feeling the snow with his bare skin. Just awesome.
9 Shark week part 1: Land shark
The owner of this image posted: “It was my cousin’s first Halloween as an amputee… we decided to have some fun.”
It looks like they’re having a blast! We especially like the tears in the torso of the shirt and the tattered sleeve. The blood smears all over the place is a particularly gruesome touch.
When originally posted, one commenter remarked, “What it must feel like to lose your hand and half of your arm... And then continue your life, continue your life as a true winner and make comedy out of it! This guy's a hero, if you ask me!”
Couldn’t have said it better ourselves. From the looks of this photo, no doubt they were prank-shocking people into hysterical fits of laughter all night. These two cousins awesome Halloween, FTW!!!
8 Shark week part 2: snow shark
First of all, if this was a planned photo-op, this took some serious labor and dedication. Look at the size of that snow shark! He must have used snow from his yard and all of his neighbors’ to build that gargantuan creature. Look at it! It’s almost Moby Dick sized!
It’s a great prank for kids. Too bad this is likely after Halloween and there aren’t random kids walking around in the mood for a little gruesome joke, but it won’t stop him from taking an amazing photo and sharing it with the world.
The detail in the teeth really sells it. He built two rows of teeth, just like a real shark. The leg is jammed in pretty hard up in there, and combined with dedicated acting like this, it’s a pretty awesome scene.
7 Shark week part 3: real shark bite
This man’s arm was actually bitten off by a shark. Though we can’t imagine what kind of horrific psychological scar this might have had on him, we love the way he’s dealing with it. What better way to chase away his fear than to tattoo what’s left of his arm into a shark that can bite back?
Hats off to the tattoo artist who shaded the colors so realistically, it looks like the wrinkles in the shark’s neck are actually wrinkles in the skin. Also, incredible work using the point of the stump as the shark’s nose.
Everything about this is creative and weird and is such an awesome way of transmuting terror into laughter. It’s also probably pretty good at breaking ice with the ladies.
6 College is expensive!
Holy cow is college expensive. Can we get an “Amen” on that? Looking around at tuition costs, we can see that tuition prices have nearly doubled from when some of us went to school. Now state school tuition is easily $45K plus for the total of four years, while private college prices are somewhere in the bazillions. Well, okay, that’s an exaggeration. But according to Harvard’s own site, it’ll cost you around $70K per year to go.
So this chipper grad has it absolutely right. Though it didn’t cost her an arm and a leg to go, it did cost her $45K and a leg. Arguably the arm is worth more, so that’s a better deal. Hopefully she’s done making expensive transactions with limbs.
5 Prosthetic party dude
Hey, if you’re going to have a prosthetic leg, one interesting take is that it can actually do some things that us supposedly “able-bodied” people can’t do with our own legs. For one, it’s made from durable metal and plastic material that are not prone to being broken or cut, and in almost all cases stronger than a real leg. And also it twists all the way around to serve as a convenient arm rest and drink holder.
By the look of this man’s smile, we just know that he is winning at life. By the looks of almost everyone around him, they completely charmed and maybe a touch jealous. That’s not just a prosthetic leg. It is a bionic limb with party-action mode.
4 South Park
If you’re not a fan of the extremely adult-themed South Park cartoon, that mask is a likeness of Jimmy Valmer, one of the disabled classmates of the main characters of the show. Jimmy’s character has a stutter and uses forearm crutches to get around. He’s also a stand-up comedian who is constantly thanking his crowd for being “such a wonderful audience.”
Jimmy’s treatment on the show is pretty progressive, in that the kids never really make fun of him for his disability and include him and the other disabled kids in their activities. Pretty remarkable for a bunch of Charlie Brown knock-offs that swear like sailors. So if you use forearm crutches, it’s a very short list to find the perfect costume, and Jimmy Valmer is up there at the top.
3 Above politics
It doesn’t matter what political party you belong to, or if you’re completely an independent—everyone side has a different reason why they think the government doesn’t run very well. Of course, the consensus falls apart when they try to agree on why it doesn’t run well, but at least from a distance they sort of kinda agree that it’s broken.
That’s why this shirt is universal, and hilarious. Her expression says it all. Bonus: she’s dressed entirely in red, white and blue. And one look at her face and pose tells us: yes—you probably can run better than the government. Now let’s all nod in agreement for at least a few seconds before we rush back to Facebook and argue about Tide Pods and politics.
We’ve written about Josh Lundquist before, a Paralympic athlete and motivational speaker. Josh has made it a tradition to have incredibly detailed and creative Halloween costumes that make hilarious use of the fact he has only one leg. Previously he had been an IHOP sign, a foosball player, a pink flamingo and a one-legged lamp from A Christmas Story.
But this we think is the best one. Disney’s version of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh was famously animated to bounce around like pogo stick on his tail. So Lundquist used his leg as the tail so he could hop around all night. He’s “bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun.” But the most wonderful thing about Lundquist is he’s the only one.
1 Pair of legs
What one-legged man on earth sits around and thinks the perfect Halloween costume would be a pair of legs? This guy!
Although this costume is high on the hilarity scale, it’s rock bottom on the practical scale. How’s he going to get around—if he uses crutches, how’s he going to use his hands? Are there arm holes in the pockets? At least his face is exposed, but it’s sticking out of the groin. We’re not sure what message that’s trying to say but the overall effect is weirdly hysterical.
Maybe he can team up with Sundquist, the other one-legged costume expert, and between the two of them they can have a giant working pair of walking pants. With two heads sticking out of the groin. Or maybe not…on second thought that sounds terrifying.