Hailing a taxi is such a pain in the butt these days especially when you live in parts of the world where taxi drivers choose passengers according to their race, how they look or their destination, which they shouldn’t be doing as it’s very discriminatory. But fortunately for us, Uber came along and now people can get to places without having to sit in a car that smells like sweat and dealing with a taxi driver that’s either rude or creepy. Both the passenger and the driver are pressured to be on their best behavior since both get to rate each other. It’s pretty convenient—so much so that people are now ordering an Uber for the most ridiculous of reasons.
Here are 15 of them.
15 Curve and swerve
Uber is popular among 20-somethings who go out to party on the weekend. It’s almost like having a designated driver outside your group of friends. No one has to sacrifice having fun by not being part of the drinking. It’s also a great way to get your lightweight friends home—you know, the ones who after two bottles of beer start to be a mess and get in strangers’ faces. If you wanna avoid trouble, you’re better off sending them home for their own good. Like this guy did who had dinner with a co-worker. The co-worker started getting handsy with only two glasses of wine in her and made unwanted advances on him. The guy did the right thing ordering her an Uber before she could embarrass herself further.
14 The mile
There is a certain level of privacy and producer/consumer confidentiality you can expect with Ubers. For some reason, many people feel more comfortable stumbling into a stranger’s car in a questionable state than getting into a taxi. Like this person who must have been on some hardcore psychedelics to be able to leave the house naked and take a little walk, eventually finding themselves lost. Guess they were still conscious enough to have brought their phone with them because they were able to successfully order an Uber to take them home. Hopefully, the Uber driver that came to pick him up had a towel ready to lay down onto the car seat because we all know no one’s gonna appreciate sitting where a sweaty butt sat minutes prior.
13 #Foreveralone 2018
Even with social media apps taking over the way we interact with other people, it’s still kind of difficult to pursue real actualized relationships in the real world. People who would have had a hard time making friends without social media are still the same people who have a hard time making friends in the advent of social media. Just like this person who confessed to ordering Ubers only to take them around town. They even go as far as taking selfies with their Uber driver and posting them on Snapchat in the off-chance that people might think that they have friends and some semblance of a social life. It’s sad, but it’s the world we currently live in. Might as well get used to it, right?
12 Charging station
Speaking of social media essentially taking over our social interactions plus all of our lives, power banks and establishments that have power outlets everywhere to allow customers who cannot survive with a drained phone to charge are the norm. People will consider it a plus if a café or a restaurant has outlets ready for customers. Some will even rate an establishment lowly just because they can’t charge in there. They would do anything to juice up their phones, especially when they’re out and about and they feel it absolutely necessary to update their 50 Snapchat followers on how much fun they’re having this Friday night. Like this woman who ordered an Uber just so she could charge her phone. As long as she pays, it’s all good.
11 Serious savings
Being extra is what’s trending among the young people nowadays, so if you want to still be able to roll with the cool kids but your budget isn’t cooperating with your desire to live the lifestyle you want, don’t lose hope; there are hundreds of other ways to create the illusion. Just take this resourceful teenager who aimed to save several bucks on his prom ride. Instead of renting an expensive limo to impress his date, he decided to order an Uber to take them to prom. He must’ve ordered an UberX—which isn’t a limo, but it could be a large black SUV that could still be pretty fly when it enters a venue. This kid is going places with how smart he is with his money.
10 Portable labor room
Calling for an ambulance to take you to the hospital during an emergency is extremely expensive, that’s why over the past couple of years, the number of people ordering Ubers to take them to the hospital has skyrocketed. This is, of course, not advisable because the typical Uber is not equipped with the machinery necessary for a medical emergency. But when you know someone who has once paid a lot of money to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance, the idea of taking a taxi service like Uber that’ll cost you a fraction of the price of an ambulance when your emergency isn’t life-threatening makes perfect sense. Like this woman in labor who ordered an Uber and ended up giving birth in the car.
9 Good guy Uber driver
We all react differently when we’re intoxicated. Some of us become very confrontational and start challenging bouncers to fisticuffs while some of us become overly emotional and start hugging people and telling them we love them while also maybe crying for no reason. But one characteristic all drunk people share is forgetfulness; we misplace things and can even get lost inside a bathroom. Just like this young lady who got so drunk one night she forgot where she parked her car. She started crying from the frustration and ordered an Uber. Along with the Uber driver, they drove around looking for her car, which they found after 20 minutes. Hope she gave that Uber driver a five-star rating because it seems like he definitely deserved it.
8 Instant date
Real life can be a drag, and for those who aren’t blessed with the right wares to have successful social interactions, it can be even worse. Sometimes you just want to go to the movies with a person and share that experience with them. Not even in a creepy way—just in a lonely way that we all sometimes experience as human beings. So we can’t judge this person who ordered an Uber and, instead of just having the driver drop him off at the movies, opted to pay the Uber driver top dollar for spending the next four hours with him at the drive-in to watch a few movies. It’s a win-win situation: the person got to watch movies with someone and the driver got paid and treated to a movie
7 Same day delivery
The update of UberX where you can choose to order SUVs instead of sedans or smaller vehicles has opened a new market for Uber customers. Furniture shopping has become much easier. Before, people had to wait for several days and pay the store large amounts of money for the delivery. Now, people can order an UberX and take those huge bulky objects home with them right out of the store. No need to wait days, and also no need to have to pay for the delivery. There is no downside to this decision except a significant loss for the furniture store. This person who ordered an UberX to bring their IKEA furniture home did the right thing. No muss and fuss and they got to ride in a pretty spiffy SUV.
6 Ambulance schmambulance
Like previously mentioned, choosing to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance is insane unless you have $2,500 dollars in cold hard cash just lying around collecting dust, begging to be needed. If you don’t have that kind of money, however, one might find an Uber’s services to be enough in the situation. Just like this woman who ordered an Uber to take her to the hospital when she had a sudden onset of stomach pain and initially thought it was appendicitis. Apparently, she had an ovarian cyst that burst, which may be just as much of an emergency. She decided to order an Uber rather than an ambulance because she had previously asked for an ambulance and was charged $2,500 for it without medical care. What a rip-off.
The convenience that comes with taking an Uber can be exploited to accommodate people’s very petty needs. There’s nothing wrong with that; the Uber driver still gets paid no matter how useless the errand is. Yet you can’t help but think of the other people who might have needed that Uber more than the person who got it, like this person who went through all the trouble of booking an Uber just so they wouldn’t have to walk down the street in the rain. They didn’t go into detail as to why they absolutely couldn’t get their shoes wet but maybe they had a pair of very expensive Louboutins or Jordans that should never ever get wet lest it decrease their value. If that were the case then we completely understand.
4 Mini movers
Paying for a moving company to transfer your belongings from your old place to your new place can cost a pretty penny. So if you enjoy a minimalist lifestyle and own exactly four suitcases worth of things in your entire apartment then it makes a ton of sense to opt to just enlist the services of an Uber which won’t cost you an arm and a leg. Just take this person who chose to order an Uber to help her move her stuff when she was moving to her new place. She moved in style and possibly paid the same amount as that time she ordered an Uber to meet up with her girlfriends for brunch on Sunday afternoon. You have to live smartly these days; future you will appreciate it.
3 Food delivery service
DUIs can be properly avoided by opting to take an Uber instead of trying to drive because you feel like you’re still good to drive. Even if you drank only a glass of wine, please choose to be responsible and just take a taxi or an Uber home. Be like this person who was pre-gaming with some wine while making food for a party later that night. Instead of driving to the party with a little buzz from the wine, they made the right decision and ordered an Uber. The Uber transported the food to the party and the passenger was able to continue their little party in the car with their wine in a to-go mug. Everyone should be more like them—a responsible drinker.
2 Fast transport
Another entry in the “I would rather order an Uber to take me to the hospital during a medical emergency because an ambulance is too damn expensive” category of these Uber confessions, this person ordered an Uber to take them to the hospital after burning their hand on grease while cooking. We should assume that at this point Uber drivers have probably seen all kinds of shenanigans from the hundreds and thousands of passengers they’ve driven around. So when this person got in the Uber with their puffy eyes and with tears streaming down their face, the driver must not have even batted their eyes or shown even any sign of shock and just did what they had to do and drove straight to the hospital.
1 Never again
Deciding to take an Uber for a three-hour car ride is insane no matter who you ask. It must take a truly traumatic experience to have a three-hour Uber ride be someone’s preferred mode of transportation considering how expensive that’s going to be. Take this person who, because their trip home on the train once didn’t go well at all, decided to take an Uber on the trip back. We can only imagine what hellish experiences they must’ve gone through to despise taking the train this much. We should probably just take their word for it and believe that their reason will make complete sense when we hear it. Besides, as long as he paid the Uber driver well and was a good passenger then all’s good.