I feel like I'm a straight shooter. I shoot from the hip, as people say. I don't like to sugarcoat things, and try to give information in the most concise way possible. Do I always have the right words or advice for a situation? No, of course not. I'm not a dictionary, and there are some situations that are too unique for me to be helpful in any way, and sometimes all a person needs is an ear that's ready to listen. But not everyone is like me. As we can see from these 18 moments, there are a lot of people out there with some pretty sound (but hilarious) advice.
No matter how educated we are, we're not all knowing. We're not going to know how to react to every given situation. No matter how far we got in our education, there's nothing that can compare us for breakups, death, cat-fights, or uncomfortable situations. In times of need, we turn to our loved ones.
Luckily for us, we can get as much advice as we want from social media apps and texting. Whether we (or the people in this article) take that advice, however, is another story. Some people straight up don't care what a person is venting about — they're gonna list their thoughts on the situation and take it from there. And I'm not gonna lie, the sassy replies are my favorite.
18 Hey Jenny!
Not every person you speak to is gonna give you the answers you wanna hear.
I have had plenty friends come to me who just got out of relationships, and without even hearing the whole reason as to why they broke up, I automatically started blaming their ex. Of course, the only reason I'm doing this is because I care for my friends and I'm trying to make them feel a little better. The problem with my advice, of course, is that I'm not always being truthful. There are plenty of times I've seen my friends mess up in their relationships. Sure, I'll usually tell them, "Hey, you might not wanna do that," or, "Maybe you shouldn't say something like that," but at the end of the day, it's not my relationship — it's theirs.
If you have nothing new to say to a friend who needs help, just do what Jenny did. "Don't ever for any reason, do anything to anyone, ever..." Okay so that sounds pretty broad, but she's pretty much saying everyone is gonna be upset at one point or another because of something you did. So you might as well live in a safe space and keep things neutral.
Or you can just live your life and worry about hurting other people's feelings — either one...
17 Amazing Advice
As a woman, when it comes to dating, I hear a lot of feedback from other women. I always see magazine articles directed at women on how to make the best out of the dating experience. From what to wear, to how to friggin' laugh, to what to order, to how many drinks is appropriate... Women "know" what to do by talking to other women.
But honestly, I'm kind of over it. Now, I'm not dating around anymore, but if I were single, I'd kind of like to hear from dudes about how they date. How do guys get ready for dates? How do they pump themselves up? Are they as nervous, anxious, and excited as women?
It's comical looking at these tweets because it's clear dudes talk about small things like when a girl says "I'm cold." History would tell a dude to offer their coat to their date. But this is 2018 — dudes are a little more sarcastic these days then they were back then. Instead of offering their coat, these two are telling guys exactly what to do in this situation. DON'T tell her "Me too!" But if you don't wanna go that route, guys can always make their date feel worthless by telling them that they can't control the weather.
Side note: I don't know whether I'd laugh at a dude saying this or feel uncomfortable.
There is no way in heck that parenting is easy.
Now, parents can take a few different routes when it comes to their parenting styles; they can be their child's best friend, they can be their child's biggest combative force (being strict, making them do chores, etc...), or they can be a mixture of the two.
I'm sure many parents set off on this journey thinking that they're gonna be so close to their kids, but once those kids become teenagers — it's game over.
Puberty has set in and they're becoming their own person. They wanna do what they wanna do, and the last person they wanna hangout with is mom and dad. This is why parents and teenagers bust heads so often; those teens are just trying to break free.
However, there are those rare moments where teens admit that they don't have all the answers, so they message mom or dad for some more advice. In this case, it's dating advice. Instead of telling his son some lovey, dovey puff answer — he gave it to him straight. Stop messing around and talk to her, sunny boy! Don't just text her either, go up to her and give her a compliment!
I know the world is a big place and the opportunities seem endless, but that's not always the case.
If anyone has Instagram, they'll notice that there are A LOT of influencers who quit their day jobs to Instagram full time, but it's way harder than it looks. In order to become an influence and actually make a profit off of it — you have to KNOW your junk. You gotta have an audience. You are your own brand. However, the problem with these "influencers" is that some of them are like "I quit my job and am now living my dream of traveling the world!" Umm... But there's always more to the story. You can't just quit your and travel... You wouldn't be working so you wouldn't have any money to pay for your travels. Most of these traveling bloggers are sponsored or work for a company that allows them to work for them in various locations.
Just like @yanblaze says, "Don't be out here homeless trying to follow advice from Internet weirdos." Don't you think if being a traveling influencer was as easy as they say, there'd be more of them in the world? YES. I feel like no one would have a typical nine-to-five job if being an Instagram influencer was that easy.
14 Should Women Buy Men Gifts On Valentine's Day?
Am I the only one who thinks gift-giving goes both ways on Valentine's Day? I don't really know why men "have" to give their significant other a gift but their significant other doesn't need to get them a gift. Why not? Isn't Valentine's Day all about love and unity? If that's the case then why is gift giving one-sided?
I know there are a lot of women out there who love to feel like a princess and wanna be catered to, but don't think they think their partners would like the same feedback? Now, I'm sure a lot of people disagree with me and think men don't care about Valentine's Day because they don't care if they get a card or a gift or not. But I whole heartedly disagree.
EVERYONE LOVES GIFTS. Everyone loves being surprised with something they weren't expecting to get! Everyone loves to be showered with random acts of affection!
I'm not saying people need to go out and buy flatscreen TVs for their partners, but doing something small and appreciative is all that it takes.
Regardless of gender, though. I do think gifts should be given on Valentine's Day. It's that one day out of the year that's designated for love and affection. So whether you get someone a bag of M&Ms or just go out to a nice dinner — doing something together is what the day is all about.
13 OH - No way!
Who would have ever thought that in order to do the wash, you had to remove the person from the clothing first. I had no idea! I literally thought I could just throw a child into the wash to get the ice cream off their shirt, while also giving them a bath at the same time. This is a great reminder though — thank you shirt tag...
The sad thing about this tag is, you know this company thought adding "REMOVE CHILD" was ridiculous (because it is), but they legally probably had to. I feel like so many people are "sue happy" and are looking for any reason to sue a person. So if throwing their child in the wash with the clothes on them, gets them $1-million, then so be it. They just need proof that the company never specified to take their child out of the shirt first.
(SMH, some people these days.)
It's the same thing with peanut butter companies! They legally have to put "This product contains peanuts" because some people eat peanut butter NOT knowing there are peanuts in it. OH and they're allergic to peanuts — so that's a problem. If only people used common sense instead of getting hurt on purpose all for the sake of a couple (million) bucks.
12 Not A Bad Idea
Listen, you can take this advice or not, but I’m planning on taking it. Id' be a fool not to.
There are A LOT of older people out there who are just looking for someone to talk to. Someone that isn’t their grandchild or child that’s telling them what to do, what to wear, and what to eat everyday. Sometimes they just need an objective voice in their heads; a person who is just there to listen, to chat, to play and drink with. They've lived a long life, they don't need people talking down to them all the time.
Now, I don’t know how you’re going to find an eccentric billionaire, but I’m assuming it would be at a country club in warmer climates.
Preferably Florida. I feel like all the best billionaires move to Florida (and no, of course I don’t know any).
Hanging out with an older gentleman while he literally fulfills my dreams, goals, and desires is all I could ask for. It’s all anyone could ask for. Plus, drinking whisky in an orchard that’s probably in your backyard sounds like the only way to live life. Why would you need to travel anywhere if you have an orchard on the premises.
I don’t even like Whisky and I would be 100% down for this
11 Or You Can Get Off Your Phones
I’m very indifferent about this advice. For starters, yes, life is short. If you’re crushing on someone — go ahead and ask them to hangout. Grab some ice cream, coffee, pizza — anything. This is 2018, anyone can ask our anyone.
At the same time though, I feel like people today are kind of stubborn. They want their cake and they wanna eat it too.
They want to text the person they’re crushing on, but at the same time, they also want their crush to text them first. They want to be courted. They want to be chased after. They want to be longed for. But guess what? SO DOES THE OTHER PERSON. This is the problem!
Everyone is just sitting on their butts WAITING for the other person to “text” them. So at the end of the night, we just have a bunch of people waiting around!
How about we skip texting altogether. Texting is lame. Show up at their house. Show up at their locker. Leave a note on their car. Send them flowers. There are SO many other ways to grab someone’s attention than just shooting a text and seeing what happens next. Enough so enough folks. Get off those butts and get your person!
10 Take All My Money
Um... this child is a genius. I don’t even know what advice he’s giving out or the quality of his advice — but he’s definitely on to something here. (I also don't think this is legal, but I hope the police kept it going for at least a week.)
What people on the subway need are therapists. We don’t need people begging us for money, time, or signatures. We need people to LISTEN. We need people to HELP. We live in a world where no one spends enough time on themselves. There’s no “me” time in this world (although all the older people think we're all incredibly selfish). We’re too busy with work, school, family, and everything else life throws our way.
Knowing how busy we all are, if I saw this little boy waiting to give advice for $2 on the subway — I would stop in my tracks, give the kid a $5 bill, and soak up all the advice I could get.
Children are so pure and full of optimism. You know he has good advice, no matter what he’s saying. The world hasn’t tarnished him yet. He’s not ripe enough to be ruined by adults or society. So if anyone sees a kid shelling out advice for under $100, I’d say jump at the opportunity.
9 You Can Do Anything!
I’m not gonna lie to you, I believed in Santa WAY longer than anyone ever should. My mom kept that story going for way too long. In fact, she never even told me he WASN’T real. I don’t think that sweet woman has the heart to tell me she’s been lying to me for almost 30 years. Bless her heart.
Regardless of my own personal story, this dude is right. We’re told to believe in A LOT of weird things when we’re growing up.
We’re supposed to believe the Tooth Fairy comes after e lose a tooth. Santa Claus comes every Christmas Even (along with his magical elves and reindeer). The Easter Bunny is supposed to hop around on Easter and leave us candy. Cupid is supposed to shoot us with his magical love arrow. Leprechauns come out to play on St. Patrick’s Day... I mean, the lies never stop. They’re sweet lies, they’re fun lies, but they never stop. Knowing all this, MAYBE it’s about time we start believing in ourselves a little more. If we can believe in fictional beings, why can we believe in actual, nonfiction beings like ourselves?!
Who said we can believe in Santa but not ourselves!? Let’s try to change that, mmkay?
8 'I Really Like Your PJs!'
Why. Am. I. Crying!?
This tweet started off in such an uplifting way. It sounded like she was taking the high road; her advice wasn’t for the strong minded. But guess what? It’s turned petty REAL quick, and I’m all about it.
I can’t even imagine running into my ex’s wife and saying “OH MY GOSH, it’s so nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard the best things from your man! Ah, and girllll, I love your pajamas! You’re so brave!”
Not only will the pajama line throw them over the edge, but telling them they’re “brave” for wearing such an ensemble will top everything off. It's the cherry on top to the perfect insult.
I’m pretty sure if my ex’s wife said that to me, I’d probably have a whole sentence of curse words lined up. Women aren’t stupid. Women know when another woman is being petty, sarcastic, judgmental — and whatever else there is. So this advice is hilarious but it can also get a few people into trouble. Regardless, I’d love to use this advice one night. I just have to be brave enough to do it and to expect the worse things out of her mouth afterwards.
7 Our Future, Everyone!
I’m not gonna lie. I first read these little segments of advice from these kids before I read the title.
“What advice can you give the elderly?” the newspaper asks. Well, in comes Danielle, Shanna, and Dexter. And they have A LOT of advice for the elderly.
Danielle wants to remind all old people that when their sight starts to go haywire — learn sign language. Because everyone knows when you go blind, the easiest way to communicate is through visual signs.... I think the poor dear forgot the fact that in order to use sign language, you need to see what the other person is signing. I’m guessing she meant if you can’t “hear” well?
But let’s look at Shanna for a minute. She feels bad for elderly people who can’t walk well. But she doesn’t understand why they don’t just start running if they can’t WALK. Duh, elderly people!
Last but not least, we have Dexter. Sweet old Dexter. Dexter is smart enough to understand that older people sometimes have issues with blood sugar — he’s just not sure why that means and how it works. He thinks if older people have blood sugar problems, all they gotta do is make a little cut in their wrist, and Tyler the sugar drip out of the vein. Ohhh Dexter. If only that’s how it worked, sweet child.
6 Live Within Your Means
I saw this tweet way too long after college. But it’s great advice for all those people out there who are still in school or have the luxury of sleeping in later than the average human being.
I feel bad for people who don’t know how to cook, don’t have time to cook, or don’t care to cook.
Cooking and meal prepping saves people SO much time and energy. When it comes to food, you have to prepare yourself or else you’re gonna turn into The Hulk and eat everything in sight.
When you don’t go grocery shopping once or twice a week for meals for the rest of the week/month — you’re wasting so much money going out. Sometimes a bowl of pasta is like, $15. But if you buy a box of pasta, it’s definitely under $5 (depending on the brand you buy). Pasta doesn’t need much love to make it good — so if people just prepared a little better, they’d save so much money.
But I guess I’m not the best person to ask. Food wise — yes, I know how to shop, cook, and make things last. But when it comes to coffee... that’s where all my money goes. I just can’t help it. Other people make WAY better lattes than I ever will. And in the moment, $4-5 doesn’t seem like a lot for coffee. But when I go everyday... yeah, that adds up. *whoops* And no, waking up later won’t save me from NOT drinking coffee. I have to wake up early and coffee is just part of my morning ritual, mmmkay?
5 Sage Advice
As a writer and editor by profession, this pro tip from @peanut-caravan (great name) was refreshing to read! YES. Your closing sentence or argument should be "mic-drop" worthy! Readers should read something thoroughly and by the time they get to the end, they feel transformed. They feel refreshed... rejuvenated... they feel like they're wanting more.
Our favorite novels and poems do this all the time, so why not incorporate this in our own writing?
It's been a long time since I took a basic English course, but eventually I'd love to take one again just for fun — just to refresh my English-loving mind all over again. In fact, I genuinely feel bad for those who disliked English class. If you are North American and were raised speaking English, then English class was a piece of cake in comparison to math or science. You literally do nothing but read in English class! You read amazing books and dissect storylines. You talk about proper forms of grammar, but you also converse about the icons that we read in the books!
English was such a heavenly class. I feel bad for all the kids in my class who fell asleep or didn't show up because they thought "reading was stupid." I'd like to know where those kids are now.
4 Happy New Year!
Chris Klemens has it all figured out, you guys. I’m pretty sure more than half the world is hung over on New Year’s Day. And if they’re not hungover, then they’re severely parched and need some water. Regardless, starting January first in the worst way imaginable is the best way to have a good rest of the year.
Make sure to get extra fun on New Year’s Eve so that the worst day of the new year is on the first. That’s excellent advice.
The problem I have with New Year’s is that everyone sets themselves up. Everyone expects to have this grand, epic evening of champagne, music, a kiss at midnight, and random spurts of laughter. But it usually gets turned into a super lame night, leaving me starving at 11:50. Someone getting so wasted that they’re now trying to break down a door — just because they could. Or everyone being so sloppy that people end up crying because #Life.
New Year’s is never beautifully whimsical with glitter and kisses. I’m pretty sure that’s only in movies from the ‘50s. Knowing this, though, spending January first in the fetal position seems like an excellent way to kick it off
3 Ryan FTW!
Women and men alike love Ryan Reynolds. He’s hilarious, he’s witty, he’s sarcastic, and hi! He’s married to the one and only Blake Lively. He’s created quite a nice little life for himself.
If you follow Ryan on Instagram, you’ll notice that he adores his wife but also loves to shade her on the regular. So when he gets real and actually talks about his private life with zero sarcasm — it makes me like him more.
Blake has two children with Ryan, and it’s obvious the two love their children to death. So if there’s any partners out there who are sitting blankly while their partner does ALL the work, it’s time to step up to the plate after that baby is out. It’s time to change those diapers, bottle-feed that baby, and make sure your partner is healing nicely and is getting a lot of rest.
Giving birth is NOT easy. It’s painful, tiresome, gruesome — pretty much every negative adjective you could think of is what resembles pregnancy. So to what Ryan’s advice to new partners is uplifting. It’s nice knowing there are people in the world who wanna step up and do better for their partner and kids.
2 This Is A Workout
I remember moving into my first duplex after college. It was the first time I was moving into a house (that was still on college campus, mind you. The rent was so cheap — I couldn’t say no) that wasn’t a dorm. This meant I had to go shopping.
As any brave soul would, my mother and I went to IKEA to hook myself up. My roommates and I were splitting a lot of things, so I just had to worry about bedroom furniture really. And what does that include? A mattress and all the accessories that go with a darn mattress. Sheets, pillows, and comforters were all bought. But that’s when I saw this blanket that I was OBSESSED with. I just thought it was so chic and romantic. However, it wasn’t a comforter.... it was a duvet.
“What the fudge is a duvet?” I asked my mom. She pretty much told me it was a pillow case, but for your comforter. Oh okay.
When it came time to put my comforter INTO the duvet cover — it was game over. This tweet does not lie. I needed water. I needed to stretch. I needed to stay focused. I was anything but calm. Duvet covers do NOT mess around. And while I’m on the subject, folding sheets is no easy task either. Who even NEEDS to fold sheets anyway!?
1 How Has No One Thought Of This?
As strange as it is to say, sending people snaps of our bodies seems like an everyday occurrence. Considering Snapchat gets rid of images after 10 seconds and you’re notified when someone takes a screenshot — it’s easy to know who you can trust and who you can’t trust. The problem with so many “kids” today is that they’re trigger happy to send out their lewd snaps. But why?
I feel like the youth today feel it’s normal to send photographs of that nature to people. But it's really not, guys.
Once they get a little older though, they’ll realize that sending that kind of content can lead to a lot of drama. For starters, you have no idea what the person is gonna do with that photo after you send it. So if you’re going to send something as bare as your body — you better make sure you trust the person.
And if you don’t, then do just what the girl suggests. Watermark your images! This way you’ll know exactly who leaked your photos (if they ever do become leaked), and you’ll know who you can trust/not trust. It’s seems risky, but overall a pretty good idea.