Look, we're not delusional, we know that life isn't fair. It just seems like sometimes it's a lot less fair than others, and that fact, in itself, isn't fair. In probably the worst move in the history of the world, life and reality have teamed up, like this is just some crappy buddy movie and we're the cast of recurring characters, being forced to live with the consequences of the two lead characters' decisions. Together, these two hooligans work tirelessly to make our existences living hecks and to make us wonder on a daily if not hourly basis where it all went bad.
By itself, life can be a trial. By itself, reality can be a pill. But when they're both working together, everything turns into a bad dream for everyone involved. Get those two insufferable lunatics together, and it's only a matter of time before it all hits the fan. Sometimes, we get off lucky and even when we're faced with less than ideal circumstances, we still manage to get off relatively scot-free. Other times? Mmm, it's not so good. Other times, we hit bad results head on, and end up like these 15 people who got sideswiped by reality. Ouch, yo. That's gotta hurt.
15 Stop taking pictures and get the kid an ice pack!
Oh, we see what's really going on, here. This person says their friend's little brother "got stung on the lip by a wasp" but we can read between the lines. We think we all know what really happened. This little boy's too ashamed to admit it, but he never got stung by an insect, he just tried to do that Kylie Jenner lip challenge thing, and it all went awry. Nice try fella, trying to pull the wool down over our eyes, but this ain't our first rodeo. The very same thing happened to us when we—uh, we mean, the very same thing happened to a friend when they tried to do the Kylie Jenner lip challenge (yeah, that's it).
Nah, we're just teasing this kiddo. Besides, our dog got a bee sting when he tried to get a drink out of his water dish in the backyard. We've seen this kind of thing happen firsthand, so we couldn't be any more sympathetic. Well, it's okay, buddy. As soon as these insensitive people stop taking pictures to share with the internet, go on inside and grab a Popsicle from the freezer. That should help bring the swelling down, and it'll taste good, too. Win-win! Sort of...
14 Paper shredders can do some serious damage to any 'do
Aha! So this is why people who work in offices tend to wear their hair in buns! We always thought it was just some arbitrary rule in the standard office dress code rule book, or something. We thought that was all a part of maintaining the ~image~ that the average business would want to project to outsiders. We didn't know that business dress had any real merit beyond conveying professionalism, who could ever have guessed these hairstyles and uniforms were formulated to keep the wearer safe?
We never thought of office jobs as being dangerous, but we guess they can be after all. People who sit behind desks all day, typing data into a computer and crunching an endless string of numbers have a much easier, much safer workplace than people who work on construction sites and/or operate machinery. But that doesn't mean cubicle pencil-pushes don't have perilous encounters, too. With all of that hazardous equipment, like staplers and safety scissors and white out and—gasp!—the dreaded paper shredder, it turns out there's a whole slew of risky stuff these office workers have to keep their eyes peeled for. That's one lesson this poor person had to learn the hard way.
13 Irony strikes again
Now, when this sign says "Pain Clinic", does it mean that this is a clinic meant for treating pain? Because that would be our first guess, just judging by this picture. This looks like a hallway in a hospital, hospitals are all about treating maladies and sicknesses and, yes, even pain. That seems like a reasonable assumption to glean from this image. However, the actions of this sign seem to indicate we're on the wrong track with this one—for, after all, actions speak louder than words.
All things considered, we think this is a clinic meant to give people pain, and, know what? That doesn't sound like very much fun at all.
Well, if this person didn't walk into this place with a head injury, they've certainly got one now. Maybe things have been a little slow lately at the pain clinic, and this sign's seemingly untimely falling was just a ploy put in place by the nurses here, in an attempt to drum up business. Who knows how deep and far-reaching this conspiracy theory could go? In any case, the next time we have pain, we're not going to any clinic. We'll just pop a couple Tylenol and hope for the best.
12 Speaking of getting hit on the head by pain...
Getting sideswiped by reality is never a picnic, okay? It's never a leisurely stroll through the park with an ice cream cone in one hand and a small dog in the other. It's a struggle. But this GIF? This is below the belt, even for the dastardly duo that is life and reality. Don't misunderstand what we're about to say, because we love cats, but they can be little snots. They'll accept chin scratches and belly rubs from you whenever it suits them, but the minute they see their chance, they'll do a complete 180 and you'll end up with a bruise, an open wound and/or a headache.
What this guy needs to do (when he's done crying and rocking back and forth in the fetal position, that is) is head on down to the falling sign pain clinic ASAP. Now, you might have guessed this much by now, but we're actually not medical professionals. We can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with this guy's head. But we do know that something is wrong with this guy's head. How could it not be? He just had a fifty-pound TV nail him in the face! Pretty sure he needs medical assistance. And a cat trainer.
11 A tragedy in one picture
You have not known true pain until you've spent a busload of your own money on food only to drop it on the ground before you even had a taste of it. Nothing hurts quite like that. And, we mean, sure, that other guy just got punched in the face by a knocked over TV courtesy of his cat, Mittens, but that's just physical pain. Over the course of a few days, that pain will dissipate into nothingness. This right here, though, is emotional pain that's likely to stay with this person for years to come.
Well, at least that pug will have a good lunch today, even if his or her owner doesn't.
We don't know art. It's always so annoying when we go to museums with our hipster friends, and we ask them, "Hey, what does such and such mean in this painting?" And they're just like, "It's not about what it means, it's about how it makes you feeeeeeeeel." Well, for the first time in our lives, we don't have to be told what we're supposed to think when looking at an image. We know what we're supposed to feel now. Pain. Pain, sorrow and the suffering involved in being sideswiped by reality.
10 Dang it all, free and fair election system!
All that this little girl wanted to do was go out to the lake and have a fun day on the boat, but NOOooOoOOoo! No, that's not what her parents made her do. Do you know what they did instead? Her mom and dad took her with them to go to the town hall, where they cast their vote for some crackpot politician or other who made vague, empty promises to their constituency that they have no intention of keeping if and when they get elected, resulting in two to four more years of political inaction because, as even this tiny little girl is old enough to know, the system is broken.
And, do you know what else? It's not even like she got to vote, herself, she just watched her parents cast their ballots. She was too young to do anything at the voting booth because she's too young to vote. All she got out of the deal was all of her hopes dashed and this crumby sticker. Gee whiz. Talk about your disappointments! She's going to need an extra packet of fruit snacks and a Rugrats marathon to deal with this emotional roller coaster. Thanks a lot for sideswiping this angel, reality.
See? This is why you should never let your friends talk you into laying on the ground with them all in a row so an un-athletic older guy can jump over you all. It's never going to turn out well, and if you can't figure that out for yourself, you shouldn't even be engaging in sports, you should be inside reading a book on how to become not dumb. Well, never mind all of that. It's a moot point anyway since it's too late to help this guy. The only thing that can help him now is a trip to the E.R.
Somebody get a reconstructive urologist on the line, please. It looks like that guy's going to need a consultation.
Sometimes you get sideswiped by reality because reality is a trickster who likes to watch innocent people suffer. But other times, the reason that you get sideswiped by reality is because you do stupid things that will result in stupid, potentially harmful consequences. Had this guy dropped his food on a wet sidewalk or been ironically struck by a sign, we'd have some sympathy for him. But as it is? He had to know that this was a real possibility the minute he agreed to this shenaniganry.
8 Reality gave 'em the ole one-two punch...for no reason at all...
We kind of like the whole concept of "what goes around comes around". Karma, we guess you could say. It's nice to think that we all get what we give, whether what we give is good or bad. It's that faith in a sort of cosmic justice that helps us sleep better at night. But in this case, we think karma's out of line—or, at the very least, reality certainly is. Listen, reality, fam. We get that it's your job to throw us for a loop and pull the rug out from under our feet, but how's about you try staying your lane this time, okie doke?
This person was already having a bad time. Their car got hit while it was just sitting out in the parking lot. They weren't even driving—heck, they weren't even in their car at all—and they were still involved in an accident. But, that's just the insertion of the knife. The twisting of it is that because the impact of the accident pushed their vehicle up on the sidewalk, they got a fine. That's adding insult to injury, and even though we weren't personally involved in this situation in any way, we're still personally offended.
7 The grass is brown, but the whoopsie daisies are coming up nicely
Some days start out good, but end up bad, and we contend that these kinds of days are worse than straight up bad days. With true bad days, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and that's it. It's all downhill from there. But with good-to-bad days, it's a completely different story. These kinds of days start out by getting your hopes all up. You wake up feeling good, maybe you found a prize in the cereal that morning, or maybe the song that played on your radio alarm was your jam.
Whatever the reason, you've got a spring in your step, and that's when you make the unfortunate mistake of getting cocky.
Once reality tricks you into thinking everything's gonna go your way that day, it has two options. Option number one, it can throw you a bone and let you have a nice time for once in your forsaken little life. Or, two, it can make you think that the sprayer you grabbed out in the tool shed was filled with lawn fertilizer when, in reality, it was full of some chemical or other that absolutely decimated plants—including that lovely new lawn you had installed recently. Such a shame.
6 This truck *loves* its job
It's always inspiring to witness someone doing a job they love. The passion in their eyes touches your soul. Their adoration for what they do is so powerful, it jumps out at you and makes you want to tackle your own career with a renewed energy. To see someone truly, sincerely enjoying their work is a phenomenon, like spotting a shooting star or having a butterfly land on your hand. It's something that just doesn't happen that often, but when it does, it's nothing short of magical. Too bad that's not what we're seeing here.
This truck was literally made to empty bins into its dumpster back, but that doesn't mean this is the life wanted to lead. We mean, maybe we were all designed to do something else, too. Maybe we were built to be football players or scientists or poets, but that doesn't mean those careers are our inclination. We're sorry the guys running this truck and the owners of that bin got sideswiped by reality when this truck flung litter all over the place, but he's got some anger issues he's trying to work out, okay? He's not where he wants to be in life and he's frustrated. Maybe he should get some career counseling.
Here's a short list of things that the average person might need in order to start their day off right: a cup of coffee; a hearty yet healthy and balanced breakfast; a few minutes to check social media before getting ready for work; a suitcase full of million dollar bills. It's easy to see how all of those things could culminate in a delightful morning. Now, compare that to this other short list that we created, featuring things that the average person definitely wouldn't need in order to start their day off right: mistake their toothpaste for diaper rash cream; that's literally it, if you can avoid doing that one thing, you should be good to go.
Nothing takes a runaway bus with cut brake lines to the good vibes like brushing your teeth with a lotion that's meant to relieve the pain on an infant's posterior.
There's no way that can taste good, and the more we think about it, the more we involuntarily gag, so let's stop talking about it. Blech. We suggest this person rearrange their medicine cabinet so that their toothpaste is as far away from the diaper cream as possible. But they probably figured out that much for themselves by now.
4 Whatever this was, it ain't no more
We love to bake, and by "we love to bake", we really just mean that we love to go to the refrigerated section of the grocery store and buy those ready-to-bake treats, like the cinnamon rolls and the cookies and other delicious morsels, and then put them in the oven for however long the instructions say, then act like we just won one of those competitive baking shows from the Food Network. In reality, we actually don't know much about baking, which means when it comes to explaining what this...stuff is, we're completely lost.
Is this caramel that met its untimely end due to the fact that the person attempting to create it has no idea what they're doing? Is this some condensed, sweetened milk that turned into some kind of demon gloop that just might consume your soul the second you turn your back on it? We just don't know. More to the point, we don't care. It's icky, it's made a mess all over the stove, and we can't imagine that all this burned gunk has made this person's home smell like a bakery. We'll chalk this one up as a sideswipe by reality, in the meantime, this person better take a few baking classes.
3 Man, and we thought our depth perception stunk
You've heard of the cannonball, you've heard of the jackknife. But have you ever seen the "Ouch! Holy gee whiz, I think I broke every bone in my body! Somebody, anybody! Call 911" dive? Yeah, we didn't think so. This is a dive that is so risky, so complicated that even most professionals won't risk it. And yet here in this GIF, we see a complete amateur totally nail this dive—and on his very first try, to boot! Amazing! Astounding! We couldn't be more impressed with this young man's work.
Now, let's see what the judges think. Well, would you look at that? They give this kid a perfect ten! It looks like he's going home with a gold medal tonight!
And, what a nice consolation prize that will be for his parents. What a nice thing to admire and focus their attention on as they wait to hear news from the doctors and nurses operating on their son, trying desperately to set all of the bones he's broken and suture up the wounds we just know he's sustained after bouncing off those unforgiving rocks. What a bang-up job from this first-time diver. Let's give him a round of applause, folks, really well done!
2 Well, shoot
We use our cellphones for everything nowadays, from making calls in remote locations—AKA the sole purpose of a cellular phone—to texting people telling them we can't make it to plans that we were once really stoked about, but currently aren't feeling fully charged enough to attend, to arranging and keeping to our personal day-to-day schedules. Cellphones are so versatile and so handy, it only makes sense that a lot of people use them as alarm clocks, too. Sadly...there's a catch.
See, when you use your phone as an alarm, you have to keep it near you. You know, so you hear it when it goes off so you can wake up. But the thing is, you're asleep during this time, and we don't know about you, but we do some crazy things when we're asleep. Blankets end up twisted and tangled, pillows get thrown around like we're in a one-person show reenacting a slumber party between teenaged girls from the '90s. It's ka-razy with a capital K. And with all of that tossing and turning, it's only a matter of time before you end up laying on your cellphone/alarm clock, which throws a wrench into your plans big time.
1 Ew, yuck! No thanks, do we hafta?
This person wants us to guess what happened? Uh...that's alright. We're good, we'd rather not. We've got a pretty good idea of what happened, and we're sure you do, too, it's just that we're afraid to articulate it. If we get into the nitty-gritty of what probably went down minutes before this picture was snapped and sent out into the internet world, we're afraid our breakfast will make a guest appearance, and nobody wants that, least of all us.
So just look at this picture for a few minutes, internally connect the dots laid out before you and let that be enough to satisfy your curiosity.
Do yourself a favor and don't dig too deep here. It's bound to lead to catastrophe, inner turmoil and, if you're like us, an upset stomach. Besides, we think the real lesson here is never to eat canned food. Yes, yes, we know it's easier than cooking that stuff yourself, and we know that it's more convenient to open a can of slop for dinner than it is to spend time whipping it up yourself. But would you accept that same ease and convenience if you knew it came with a mandatory side of spider? We sure as heck wouldn't.