Taking care of your health is important, because getting sick is the absolute worst. You’ve got to take care of yourself. Exercise, get enough sleep, use supplements to support your already healthy diet and all of that jazz.
In addition to the vitamins and minerals in your daily gummy multivites, your body needs a healthy dose of chill at least three times a week, to keep your levels up. If you let your chill levels fall, you could be in for a world of hurt. So, before you decide to skimp out on the chill and flagrantly disregard your health, take a look at these 15 people who are suffering from a dangerous chill deficiency, to get an idea of just how horrible this disease truly is.
15. This picture’s going on the cover of the scrapbook
If you’re going to have your head smallened, don’t go with the glass at a wedding method. Our friend had that done, and he’s had nothing but trouble since his procedure. Plus, we don’t want to say anything because we don’t want to hurt his feelings, but it doesn’t look natural.
We guess this wedding photographer never got over that one time in third grade, when Mike T., here, took one of the fancy glitter gel pens that her mom bought specifically for her. Perhaps the event would seem insignificant to anyone else, but the wedding photographer held a grudge. So, when Mike T., who’d lost all memory of her, asked her to be the photographer at his wedding, she planned her payback. And, oh, how sweet revenge tasted.
14. Breakups zap the chill right out of you
When you floor your car, you use a lot more gas compared to when you’re just cruising along, right? Well, in the same way, when you break up with someone, it requires significantly more chill than if you were just going about your daily routine. If you try to dump someone when you’re low on chill, you have to expect this kind of savagery.
Honestly, if you have to lose all sense of chill in a relationship, it’s best to do it when you know the whole thing’s about to go up in smoke, anyway. If ever there’s a time to be savage, it’s in a break up. But, for the sake of civility, before you put the kibosh on your relationship, pop a few chill pills, just in case.
13. When pranks become practical
We’re not pranksters ourselves, but we can appreciate a good practical joke. Like the time our cousin put some spring-loaded snakes in our grandma’s hat box, and when she opened it, she was so surprised, she had a heart attack and we had to call 911. Sure, she spent a week in the hospital, but it was hilarious!
Actually, now that we’re older…maybe that one went a little too far. And see, that’s the thing about practical jokes. People sometimes blow them way out of proportion. Prime example? This guy, who let his chill levels become dangerously low, and in his no chill-induced stupor, tricked his neighbor into tossing their brand new printer in the garbage. If his neighbor follows him on Twitter, he’s really gonna be in trouble.
12. Tater tots are our favorite dog breed
It’s not too often you see a Mom displaying symptoms of a dangerous chill deficiency. Moms generally display a higher tolerance for not losing their cool, so we’re kind of surprised to see this guy’s mom get so savage, even if it’s in a low-key sort of way.
True, true. Comparing your son’s new puppy to a tater tot with toothpick legs isn’t very scathing from a millennial’s perspective, but this here is a mom. Moms have raised children, and we don’t know if you know this or not, but that’s, like, wicked hard. All that kid-rearing mellows them out. Tends to make them more chill, not less. So, really, any level of savagery, low-key or otherwise, is a sign of a dangerous chill deficiency for them.
11. This guy’s an expert in savagery
Dating is hard. When you enter the dating game, the key to success is having a lot of spare chill, because that’s the best bait you can use to get a good catch. But, just because you’re using the best bait doesn’t mean you’ll get a good catch. Sometimes, the fish just don’t bite, so you sit there with your great bait, growing anxious, wondering WTF is wrong with the stupid fish?! WTF are you doing wrong?! Why can’t you get any dates?!
Dating is tedious, and tedious things cause us to become impatient, and impatience inevitably leads to a lack of chill. So much so that when you finally get a bite, you won’t know how to handle it anymore, because dating has vacuumed the chill out of you.
10. Kelly: likes long walks on the beach and dissing her friends
Wow, Kelly, tell us how you really feel about your bestie there, why don’t you? Gee whiz! If you’re going to throw your friend under the bus, could you not do it on a dating app and/or social media site for all the world to see? She’s so severely savage, it’s like she’s been suffering from a severe lack of chill since the day she was born.
You might think that the person with the chill deficiency is the only one affected by this terrible disease, but that’s not the case, as you can clearly see in this ultra savage Tinder profile. One person’s lack of chill can be a blow to another person’s self-esteem, which is why it’s so important to keep your chill levels high.
9. Chickens are known for two things: their love of seafood, and their lack of chill
Is this giant chicken Queen Victoria? Because, she is not amused. Of course, part of the reason why she’s suffering from such a dangerous chill deficiency might have something to do with the fact that she’s a chicken holding a sign for a seafood restaurant. And, for real, what’s up with that? Like, yeah, Chick-fil-A only serves chicken, and their mascots are Holstein cows, so by the same logic, a chicken should be able to advertise for a fish eatery, but still. We just think it’s weird. We don’t know, maybe we’re the ones who need to take a few chill pills.
8. Marriage is the ultimate chill killer
We don’t know what everyone’s fascination with marriage is, man. Everybody’s getting engaged and planning their weddings and taking out loans that they’ll be paying off for the next 20 years for fancy wedding dresses. It’s crazy! We mean, we guess with the tax and insurance benefits, we could see how it might have some value, but when you consider the fact that marriage sucks all of the chill out of you like the spit-sucker at the dentist’s office, then the cons start to outweigh the pros.
Marriage doesn’t create a healthy environment for chill. At least, not real marriages. Storybook romances might’ve tricked you into thinking marriage is what you need in order to have all the chill. But, sadly, as is evidenced by this picture, that’s not the case.
7. He’s got dad humor, he doesn’t need chill
Like we said earlier, for moms, a chill deficiency is a rare thing. But, for dads? Well, that’s another story, entirely. Dads–armed and dangerous with their signature dad humor–seem to be immune to chill. In fact, every dad that we’ve seen who has tried to remedy their lack of chill by OD-ing on chill pills has experienced the exact opposite of a calming effect. Indeed, the chill pills only served to exacerbate the symptoms of their chill deficiency.
Anyway, that’s probably what’s going on here. This dad got stranded at WhereverTheHeckHeIsVille, thanks to big, dumb, stupid Hurricane Harvey, and because of that, he was forced to go with his daughter to all of her classes so he could embarrass her. What other choice did he have?
6. Consider us right and truly shook
Sometimes, a lack of chill is just downright mean. Other times, it’s when someone gets just a little bit too real. If we had to pick between the two, as cruel as it may sound, we actually prefer it when the no chill is mean, because at least then, we know how to handle it: call the person out for being mean, or admire them for their sharp tongue. But, when the lack of chill leads to disconcerting philosophical thoughts such as this? Then we’ve really got a problem.
We can’t criticize this guy. We can’t tell him to take a chill pill and calm down. It doesn’t work like that! His chill deficiency has lead him to an interesting revelation that’s not easily dismissed. And, frankly, we’re uncomfortable.
5. He’s lost his chill, but at least his clothes are clean
Savagery is always a lack of chill, but a lack of chill is not always savagery, does that make sense? It’s just like how a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always a square. Some people suffer a loss of chill, and that can cause them to become savage, sometimes temporarily, sometimes chronically. But, for people who are savage by birth, no matter how much cold, hard chill you pump into them, they’ll never become chill. Their bodies are resistant to it.
Of course, having a limited budget can also contribute to a lack of chill, and savagery, as well, but to a lesser extent. When you’re living on a less than ideal income, you’re more likely to succumb to this sort of chill-less-ness.
4. The lesson here? Food solves all your problems!
Dogs wig out when the mailman stops by every day. Cats lose their minds when house guests visit. Animals often suffer from chill deficiencies, but even more so when there’s food around–which, if you ask us, is completely understandable, because food is delicious, and we have a tendency to lose our heads when we see it, too. So, in this particular instance, we’re willing to cut the chill-less some slack.
Fortunately, in this case, chill can easily be restored to the chill deficient animal by giving them some (or all) of whatever it is you’re eating. In fact, that goes for most people, too, since a lack of chill often boils down to simply being hangry. We guess the real lesson here is food solves all your problems.
3. Not even a chill pill can heal this savagery
One of the telltale signs of a chill deficiency is a stubborn unwillingness to be nice. Now, it can be very difficult to tell sometimes whether someone is truly suffering from a lack of chill, or if they’re just a bitter person by nature. The key difference is, if the person in question is generally nice, and only seems to suffer from bouts of no chill, that implies their levels are probably just low. Whereas a rude person will remain rude, even after liberal chill treatment.
It’s hard to say which of these scenarios is the case for this completely chill-less person. They’ll need a professional evaluation to determine the cause of their lack of chill. Although, TBH, they might be beyond the bounds of medical help.
2. This bathroom needs a chill pill dispenser
You know you’ve reached no chill nirvana when you start stealing toilet paper from corner stores. Whoever it is who’s the reason this gas station has to chain their TP to a pipe is dangerously low on chill. Somebody should take them to the E.R., so the nurses can hook them up to an intravenous saline and chill drip, STAT!
This person needs some chill, but even a lack of chill can’t make up for the fact that they don’t know the proper way to steal toilet paper. Everybody knows you pull it off the roll and shove it in your purse, to make it look like customers have used it all up. We learned that cool trick when we were low on chill back in college.
1. Grab an ice pack for this selfie, because there’s no chill in sight
Who has less chill in this picture? The guy who’s wearing a shirt declaring his actively anti-selfie stance to the world? Or the guy who’s taking a selfie in spite of the anti-selfie guy’s fundamental beliefs? We don’t know. They both seem pretty chill-less, to us. Maybe they would both feel better if they sat down at that cafe back there and ate a meal before they popped some sublingual chill pills–because, remember, you should never take your chill pills on an empty stomach. It might make you feel bad.
We’re glad the guy taking this picture is so happy about making other people suffer, but it’s the disappointed look on the face of the guy in the background that stole this show. Do we smell a new reaction meme?
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