You might think that stupidity is all the same, but we would beg to differ. See, we think ignorance has levels. There's type one, the "so dumb it's funny" people. They're followed by type two, the "okay, this is getting annoying" people. And, lastly, we have type three, the "holy sh*t, as soon as I get done face palming, I'm going to punch this moron in the face" people.
As you can see, ignorance clearly has stages. There's a delicate scale of stupidity that we should all take time to reflect on and to be grateful that we don't fall into any of the categories. Just to make sure we all know what stupid looks like, let's go over these 15 pictures of people who are too dumb for words. Consider it a vaccine against stupidity.
15 Time to go back to school
Ryan says that he attended his history class. That's great news! Now, if only we could convince him to stop ditching his language arts classes. We mean, we feel like this is a great stride in his education. Because he specified that he was in history class, that sort of implies that that isn't the norm for him. So this is definitely a step up from his standard rock bottom. But, if we added in those vocabulary tests, he would be as unstoppable as a moderately ignorant person could possibly be!
Holocaust. Not hall of cost. We're talking about the devastating loss of human life during World War II, not some kind of super expensive corridor. How many times did you get held back in high school, Ryan? Because, apparently, it wasn't enough.
14 Botox for ages 2 and up
Oh, yeah, this is great. You want to get 'em hooked on that plastic surgery/Botox stuff at an early age. Otherwise, your precious children might turn out like those creepy weirdos who don't get facelifts every six months and who want to "age gracefully." Besides, you know how that healthy, glowing, youthful skin is so prone to wrinkle. Really, you're doing your child a favor when you administer Botox shots every week. Sure, society throws a fit. They call it reckless parenting. But you're making your child look like Dolly Parton by the fourth grade! You're doing them a gavor! You're a good parent... right?
This mom takes the whole "too dumb for words" concept, and runs with it. You win, stupid mom. Now drop those needles. Botox is an addiction best left to vain adults.
13 This young is on fire
Oh, no. This is horrible! Flaming young? We have to do something! Somebody, quick, dial 911! We need the fire department here, ASAP! This is a disaster. Those kids are going to wind up in the burn unit, and it's all because this imbecile doesn't now how to spell! Don't panic, kids! Stop, drop and roll!
And another thing. We really don't appreciate this hate on Hamburger Helper. You shut your dirty mouth, you "flaming young" eating two timer! How dare you say something so awful about that prepackaged yet delicious dinner! Hamburger Helper was there for your sorry ass when you had to eat your dinners all alone because nobody loved you because you can't spell for sh*t. And calm it the eff down with the hashtags. It's #Annoying.
12 Pig lions
When that paycheck hits the bank, it's time to treat yourself. Time to start living like a king/queen—not forever just, you know, until you've spent all of that paycheck and you're eating ice on white bread sandwiches while you wait for the next paycheck. Anyway, when that money makes it to your account at the end of the week, you deserve something nice. That's why you go to a fancy restaurant and order yourself one heaping helping of pork lion.
Mmm. Pork lion. We can almost taste it now. It's such a sophisticated cut of meat. It's like the flaming young of pigs. Sadly, this delicacy is only available to people who did not pass their spelling tests throughout school, and who continue to spell phonetically. Pork lion is probably way too good for you.
11 Please say you're joking
*Looks off into camera like Jim from The Office*
There's comes a point in time when you've reached maximum tolerance for another person's stupidity. We knew going into this post that we would reach our limit, but we had no idea it would happen so quickly. We're not saying that the previous images didn't get to us. Flaming young? Pork lion? Hall of cost? Those fails would be enough to send anybody over the edge. But we're not just anybody. We're the ones who bring you the stupid. We're the ones who venture out into the vast, wild unknown that is the internet just to find this dumb crap. We should have built up an immunity to it by now! But, instead, we just can't take this moron who thinks ear plugs are rubber bullets.
10 Mirrors ruin everything
When he's not lifting weights in the gym, or flexing his impressive guns for the hot chicks at the beach, this guy spends his time Photoshopping images professionally. He's a big deal, not just in his personal life, but in the world of professional photo altering. If you have a picture that you want customized or "fixed" in any way, this is the guy to go to. He's the best Photoshopper in the world.
So, uh... did you... buy that? No? Oh. Okay. We don't really blame you. We were just trying to shield this pathetic moron from an onslaught of ridicule and mockery. On second thought, this guy totally deserves that ridicule and mockery. You're not fooling anyone, pipsqueak. Why don't you go fix a protein shake and watch some cartoons?
9 Friendly reminder: ALWAYS CLEAR YOUR SEARCH HISTORY
An honest mistake, perhaps? Yeah. Maybe. But we're going with dumb on this one. Indeed, we're afraid that the prognosis is looking rather bleak, in this woman's case. We don't want to be the ones to tell her, but this image makes it painfully obvious that she is suffering from a case of terminal stupidity. It's so sad when people succumb to ignorance. Fortunately, this savage disease is preventable by staying in school and using Google whenever necessary.
What if this isn't actually dumb? What if this woman isn't a moron? What if she was just trying to subtly let all of her previous boyfriends know that they should probably get themselves checked for STDs? Maybe this woman isn't really dumb, maybe she's actually super clever! No, you're right, she's dumb.
Hm. Great question Jack! Why do women never have to take DNA tests to see if the child THAT THEY CARRIED IN THEIR WOMBS FOR 9 WHOLE MONTHS is actually theirs? We can't even believe that the medical community has overlooked this incredibly obvious issue for so long. They have some kind of nerve to call themselves experts, that's for sure.
Critical thinking. Not everyone has that ability, but everyone needs that ability. A gaffe like this should never have happened. It was so preventable. If only Jack's parents had made sure he boarded the bus every morning, instead of ditching school to go to the mall. If only he had done something with his life, instead of making laughable Twitter posts. But, life is full of if onlys, isn't it?
7 The impossible garage
Is this Evil Knievel's house? Because, man, this garage isn't screwing around! This isn't a place for sissies to park their vehicles. This garage is EXTREME. And if you can't figure out how to thrust your car at a high speed and a right angle between two houses directly into this garage? Well, then, we guess you're just not EXTREME enough to handle it. Sorry, fam, but you'll just have to satisfy yourself with being mediocre and lame.
You know, just because your buddy has a perfectly good garage door that he's going to throw away, that doesn't mean you have to take it. It's hard to justify putting a garage door on the second level. It seems like it would be easier to store your truckload of stupidity on the ground level.
6 The resemblance is uncanny
Whoa, dude. We were just thinking this same exact thing yesterday! We were like, "OMG, how stupid would it be if someone on social media actually thought that Dwayne Johnson and The Rock were two different people!" How freaky is that? What a coincidence! We had no idea that such a thought would actually come to fruition. And, if we're being honest, we're actually a little disappointed that it did.
You know how sometimes people do something so stupid that it makes you embarrassed? That's how we feel right now. We're at home, completely alone right now, and we're blushing because we are suffering from such intense secondhand humiliation. Everyone reading this knows that Google is free, right? All you have to do is type in your question, and you can save yourself (and others) from horrible embarrassment.
This horse needed its hooves trimmed so badly that it turned into a cow. The same thing happened to us when we missed our weekly manicure a few months back. For whatever reason, we forgot that we had an appointment to get a mani-pedi. Before we knew what was happening, we were yelling, "moooo!" at everybody. We even jumped over the moon a few times.
By the way, do you even know what it's like to have four stomachs? It's terrible! You're always hungry, but you don't crave good stuff like pizza or chocolate. All you want to eat is grass and hay and cow cubes. Blech. 'Course, we were finally able to get that manicure, and we turned back into humans. But still, turning into a cow because of some children's author's stupidity is something that takes awhile to get over.
4 Criminal crime stopper is confused
We've noticed that, over time, this stereotype has emerged that criminals are inherently stupid. That's biased and prejudiced and it's pretty unfair. So we would just like to use this opportunity to dispel that stereotype once and for all. Ahem. Behold! A clever criminal who committed the perfect crime! A devious mastermind who created the perfect plan to usurp the law! Do you think a stupid criminal could have pulled this off? No! Of course not! Never in their wildest dreams could a—Oh, no, wait. This is the wrong picture. Oops. Well, we guess the stereotype that criminals are stupid still stands.
It's pretty hard to make your case that criminals are actually intelligent when you've got this guy turning himself in for the reward money. Gee whiz, man. Leave a little stupid for the rest of us.
3 The rare squirrel lizard
What a sight, huh? To see such a rare picture as this. It's truly spectacular. Count yourself lucky, because you're one of the few people to see this creature up close. Know what this is? This adorably, furry little guy may look like a squirrel, but that's just the result of years of evolutionary camouflage. This is actually a squirrel lizard. That's right. 100% reptile. Definitely not a mammal, that's for sure.
Do we really need to go over this with you people? Squirrels and dolphins aren't reptiles. They're both mammals. This is the stuff you learn in the fourth grade. If you don't know it, you really need to see about enrolling in the nearest public school. Some one-on-one tutoring wouldn't go amiss, either. Hell, even a couple of hours on Wikipedia would be helpful.
2 You're way off
Wow. Paul Walker looks a lot like Neil Patrick Harris in this picture. Maybe it was just the lighting. Yeah, that's it. The angle's just a little off. After all, who among us doesn't look like Neil Patrick Harris when we have our photo taken from the upper right? We know we've had people come up to us and ask us for our autographs when we were in a place with bad lighting because we resembled Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother.
Look, we're not falling for that. Not even for a second. This idiot says that Paul Walker was one of their favorite actors, but we're calling bullsh*t on that, because if he really was one of their favorite actors, they would know what he looked like.
1 Oh, no, not again!
We typed this into Google translate, and it came up with nothing. Is philly menyong some type of new age Asian food dish? Is it a Chinese take on the beloved Philly sandwich? 'Cause, either way, we're in. We'd just like to know what we're in for beforehand, that's all.
We already saw "flaming young" earlier on in this post. We really can't afford another ridiculous "filet Mignon" misspelling. We're limited to one a month, so we're going to have to put this one back for now. But, hey, you can have it. No really, take it. Like we said, we already have one, we really don't need another. We don't have room for it in the fridge. Seriously, take. TAKE IT! Take it, oh, for the love of all that is holy, take it! *Assumes the fetal position, weeps bitterly*