We’ve all been in situations that were a little bit more than we can handle. As the Talking Heads might say, “well, how did I get here?”
It only takes a few wrong moves to transform an ordinary situation into a disaster. A few missteps to turn cooking a simple dinner into a neighborhood explosion. A little lapse in judgment to turn your workday into a complete disaster. A few wrong turns to turn a little rendezvous with a high class lady into a desperate escape from the queen’s guard. You get the idea.
Though you may have experienced all of these things, it takes truly special people to make this list. Getting in this far over their heads takes real talent.
15 Painted into a corner
People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan. And somehow, this painter failed to plan his escape route from his own paint job.
We always thought “paint yourself into a corner” was just an expression. No one is actually stupid enough to paint themselves into a corner, right?
Wrong. From what little we can see of his face, this laborer is reconsidering all of his life choices. Maybe he should have started on one side and finished on the other, instead of painting in circles. Maybe he should have stayed in school. One thing for sure, short of a helicopter ride, there’s no way he’s getting out of this unless he ruins his own paint job or waits for it to dry. Tough luck, buddy.
14 How not to champagne
“I’ve seen this in the movies! No problem!”
WHACK! SMASH! SHATTER!
It’s a time of celebration! No time for things like patience! Or common sense! Or skill!
Randomly hacking at a champagne bottle with a knife isn’t going to produce the awesome results you intended. More than likely, you’ll end up in the ER with a handful of glass. The good news is the champagne has probably already sterilized your wound. The bruise on your ego, however, is going to take a little longer.
Especially with photos like these floating around. The internet is just awesome for that.
Better drink what’s left of the champagne in that bottle. Humiliation goes down a heckuva lot easier once you’re totally plastered. I mean, that’s what we’ve been told.
13 Pizza fail part 1
Oh, mom. We know technology creeped up on your generation fast. We know what you’re thinking. “It was just yesterday that most pizza orders were taken over the phone! Now you have bootlace up the old laptop, use the electric keyboard to type in a webby address dealy, and use the trickpad to point the cursy little arrow thing over the map. Or app. Or whatever.”
We know mom. And in all fairness, you had to teach us how to use a fork. So we’ll try your special pizza this time. We’ll try to find some nice things to say about the special flavor. But still, maybe let us handle the pizza order next time. We’ll include all the awesome extras—like cheese and sauce.
12 Up next for marriage
The woman in the foreground? She just caught the bouquet that the bride tossed. The chubby guy behind her? That’s her boyfriend.
Yup, this guy is a believer in the superstitious custom that the woman who catches the bouquet gets married next. Doesn’t he look like he’s about to go down a steep rollercoaster the height of Mt. Everest? He’s definitely bracing for impact. It’s all he can do to keep all those hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne down.
Oh, lord. His whole single life is flashing before his eyes. The all-nighters playing Destiny 2, the beer-pong tournaments at Chad’s house, margarita nights at Applebees…all gone. Before you know it, he’ll be knee deep in accent pillows and diapers. If only he had batted away that bouquet. If only…
11 Caught sleeping around at Buckingham Palace
This screen cap is actually lifted from a video. There’s no story or other details behind the poor unfortunate clothesless dude, only what looks like a desperate escape from a palace. And that’s no ordinary palace – that’s Buckingham Palace. As in the home of the Queen.
Now this is some impressive, next-level degree of getting in trouble. We can’t overstate the severity of this situation. Not only did he caught by someone doing something he wasn’t supposed to do, he’s trying to escape one of the most secure places in the world. And he’s completely vulnerable! There’s no hiding his shortcoming on this attempted getaway.
We don’t know what happened to this guy, but we would love to hear the rest of the story.
10 How hard can laundry be?
What the…how is this even possible?
Short of loading a dryer full of explosives, there aren’t many situations that would cause a dryer to burst into flames like tinder wood. This is something one would have to work at. It’s possible to start a fire in a dryer if you throw some items in there that contain rubber. Maybe a couple of bathmats with the rubber bottom, or a pair of rain boots. But what kind of idiot would do that?
This kind of idiot. And notice his first instinct was to take a snapchat of it. Fire department can wait. This kind of idiocy need to be documented and publicized, for sure. Got to keep the whole village warned to keep laundry away from this accident-prone half-wit.
9 Pizza fail, part 2
Those lines printed letters on the side of the pizza box are called instructions. They’re pretty handy if you want to enjoy your pizza. But if you’re up for an adventure, heck, just throw that pizza box away. Just shove it in the dryer fire going on in the laundry room.
See, this is where we know it wasn’t a mom that made this mistake. This time it’s got to be the younger generation. Or someone who’s never prepared a frozen pizza before. Remember kids; don’t thaw your frozen pizza first—not part of the process.
Pretty impressive pizza mess, though. Looks like a pizza mushroom cloud explosion. At least the edges will still be edible. The rest you’re going to have scrape off and give to the dog.
8 Sauce defeat
We’d really like to know the story of what happened here. Though we don’t know the exact sequence of events that led to this pathetic scene, the emotion is quite clear. Defeat. Utter, total, devastating defeat.
The woman seems pretty upset. Did the cat have anything to do with this? It’s the only one that seems to be enjoying the outcome of this disaster scene. If that’s a bolognese sauce, then that’s a pretty sweet victory for a feline carnivore.
Which leads us to believe the cat DID have something to do with this. Somehow got underfoot, or swiped the pot handle and everything went flying. At least, that’s what the woman will probably tell people. It’s much more embarrassing to say she almost destroyed the entire kitchen by herself while trying to make sauce.
7 Expert TV installation
Oof. That’s gotta hurt. From the looks of that TV, it looks like one of the older model flat screens, which would have been more expensive than today’s variety. Probably heavier, too.
Yeah, we think it’s a good idea to leave flat screen TV installation to the experts. Apartments and houses constructed the way they are these days, it’s a pretty good chance that a mantle or other similarly sturdy-looking structure may not be so sturdy. This particular mantle appears to be made of the finest grade sheet rock.
And if you do mount it to the wall—leave that to the experts, too. Otherwise you might end up with a similarly smashed TV and a face full of plaster. That in no way happened to us, we just heard about it.
6 Highly explosive chili
The bad news: the chef-in-training is so horrible at cooking, he is a hazard to people AND cookware everywhere.
The good news: as an amateur bomb-maker, this chef-in-training shows a great deal of promise!
Again, this is a situation where we would have loved to be a fly on the wall to see exactly what caused an explosion so great as to embed a cooking lid into the ceiling. It’s embedded so far it looks like Captain America shield-hurled it there. Our best guess is that the would-be-cook tried to simmer something that was already sealed, like a can of chili. And of course, heat builds up pressure inside a sealed can, and it probably went ka-blammo.
Careful in the kitchen kids. That lid could have been your head!
5 He’s an expert hearse driver
Here’s another example of leaving another seemingly simple task to the professionals. Thanks to the wrong kind of vehicle and probably some sloppy driving, the dearly departed received one final insult on the way out.
Judging by simple research, a coffin with a body in it weighs on average around 500 lbs. You would think that anyone transporting 500 lbs of solid weight in the back of their vehicle would make certain it wasn’t packed flush with the glass. That glass is about two feet above the cargo area. For this to have happened, the coffin would have been stacked on top of something else to begin with.
This is just bad form all around. And also proof you can still get into car accidents after you’re dead.
4 Bridge to Nowhere
Somewhere, in the bureaucracy between construction and government, heads are going to roll. The construction company responsible? Yeah, they’re probably never getting hired by the government again. The government bureaucrat that hired these lug-monkeys? Yeah, he or she is probably fired, too. The referendum money allocated to build the bridge in the first place? Yeah, might as well have thrown that money down a hole.
The only way to fix this disaster is to either create a horribly ugly and probably structurally unsound abrupt turn in the middle of the bridge, or to start over on half of it from scratch. They must have cut several huge corners to begin with—no land surveyor, no accurate measurement, no double-checking anything. In short, a total sh** show.
Getting into an accident this weird requires a tremendous degree of precision. Or alternatively, a clear case of devastatingly bad driving. We’re guessing on the latter.
It would take a stunt driver days and several attempts to impale his or her car on a guard rail and thread it through the windows as they drive, like a giant metal zipper. No, this guy does the ultimate zipline in one attempt.
One thing for sure, getting unstuck from that guardrail is going to be a lot harder than when he rammed it at impalement speed. He’s bent the guard metal going through the back, so even if the SUV were still drivable, he couldn’t just back out. He’s going to need some industrial strength steel saws to get out of this mess.
2 Is it filled yet?
Call us crazy, but it seems he just might not have his pipes rigged up quite the right way. Your first culprit is the drain. Where does that drain lead? If it’s right back into the backyard, we’d hazard a guess that he’s doing it wrong.
If he had his back to his backyard while trying to fill up that pool for hours and hours, we’re sure had a nasty surprise.
On the upside, he finally got a great pool, way bigger than he thought! It’s just not where he built it. Bonus: flood damage! Time put on the old hip waders and call the plumber. And the professional pool people. And the insurance adjuster. Looks like he lives in a flood plain now.
1 Paper delivery
Once upon a time in America, that paperboy/papergirl held a lot of respect from the neighborhood. Young and enterprising, a good paper delivery person could earn a decent little income while at the same time developing a powerful throwing arm. Powerful and accurate paper throws were noticed by the community, and often rewarded by a fat tip when the holidays came around.
This paper delivery person is in way over their head. They had to try to perform this badly. Ideally, they would forego throwing altogether and put in the little newspaper delivery box. Failing that, they could throw it literally anywhere on the lawn. Throwing it in the puddle is not just failure; it’s an “F U” to the homeowner. “Here’s your freakin’ paper. Hope you enjoy it soggy and unreadable.”
No throwing arm, no manners, no pride in their work. Hopeless.
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