In preparation for this lineup, we took some popular zones and rated them. In first place is the danger zone. We took the highway to the danger zone once, and we definitely recommend doing the same when you get some vacation days. After that is the ozone. It’s not as the cool as the danger zone, but it is necessary for life on Earth. Then, there’s school zones, which suck for obvious reasons.
Then there’s the friend zone. It was a close tie between the friend zone and school zones for last place, but ultimately, friend zone won. We know some people won’t be happy about that decision, but once you check out these 15 people who just got drop-kicked into the friend zone, we think you’ll agree.
15. NOT TODAY, DANIEL
Sometimes, you can see the friend zone lurking on the horizon. You may not always want to accept that, but when you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, and you keep laying down heavy-handed hints that they simply refuse to pick up, you have to face reality. Other times, it’s like the friend zone comes up on you out of nowhere, beats you over the head with NOPE and knocks you out.
This girl–and everybody else, for that matter–reserves the right to drop-kick anyone she wants into the friend zone. It’s just, dang, did she have to turn into such a passive aggressive savage in the process? She could’ve warned us beforehand. We’re gonna have to turn the A/C on, thanks to this lack of chill.
14. Settle down there, Grandpa
Getting out of the friend zone is like climbing one of those rock walls they have at the mall, only it’s covered in baby oil, so it’s hard to grab on to, and when you finally get to the top, reality is sitting there in a lawn chair, drinking a Coors Light, leafing through a Cosmo magazine, waiting to kick you square in the face until you fall back down again. It’s a vicious cycle. A painful cycle. And, while it’s not impossible to escape the friend zone, it doesn’t happen often.
13. Better luck next time, Cody
Cody figured if he was going to make a move to try to get out of the friend zone, it was now or never. So, he laid the charm on thick with the pomp and circumstance, but not even a specially planned Valentine’s Day date was enough to sway the heart of his crush.
Girl, “best friend” had better be your pet name for him, because he’s not exhibiting best friend behavior. He’s not trying to be your bestie. Maybe he was at some point, but not anymore. This guy’s going for the big time. He wants to take this relationship to the next level. He wants to be your boyfriend–you know, just in case you couldn’t tell by the balloons, the flowers, the gifts, the dinner and the semi-formal attire.
12. The universally recognized symbol for “you’re like a brother to me”
If this guy was feeling pretty confident that he had finally secured his crush’s affections, we have a feeling he’s going to back-burner that self-assuredness once he takes a look at this picture. We might ought to go grab a couple of ice packs right now, in preparation for this wicked impending-burn. We have a feeling this one is really gonna sting.
This is the visual equivalent of that trope where the person with the crush says, “We know each other so well, we can finish each other’s…!” And the person they’re crushing on is just like, “Sandwiches!” This poor guy had to find out the hard way that he did not read the situation correctly. Feelings were distorted, encounters were misinterpreted. And now, there’s nothing but fail.
11. He was looking for love in all the wrong places
Wow, look at all the free stuff this girl scored! Candy, stuffed animals, more candy. Having people crush on you is pretty lucrative! Maybe we should flirt more often.
Oh, please. Your friend in Arizona did not hop down to the Walgreen’s, buy you a heart-shaped box of candy, three things of conversation hearts and two teddy bears, then pay to have it all shipped to you just because he’s a good friend. How do we know that? Because if he had simply been trying to be a good friend, he would have chosen a non-heart-shaped box of chocolates, and he would have excluded the teddy bears altogether. Look, sugar, this isn’t our first time at the internet rodeo. We know a crush when we see one.
10. *Hands this guy a box of tissues*
So, what this girl is saying is, “I don’t love you, but if I had a kid with the man I truly love (the guy I picked over you), then, yeah, I guess I could see our kid dating your kid. You know, once you find someone who wants to have a baby with you. LOL! Good luck with that!”
Okay, maybe this girl wasn’t quite as savage as that. But still, this was pretty severely lacking in chill. Don’t get us wrong, you are in no way obligated to return this guy’s affections. The heart wants what it wants, and it doesn’t want what it doesn’t want, and there’s naught we mortals can do about it. But to give him such a twisted scenario like this? It ain’t right.
9. What kind of bestie is this guy?
This girl’s posting about how this Shane guy is her best friend in the whole entire world, and about how the two gold and silver plated roses he gave her symbolize their eternal friendship. Meanwhile, Shane’s just huddled up in the corner of his bedroom, throwing beer bottles at his computer screen, hurling obscenities in a drunken stupor, devastated that his carefully laid plans crashed and burned right there on social media for all of his friends to see.
Welp, Shane, it looks like it’s time to move on. If your BFF crush doesn’t respond to red roses covered in precious metals, that’s a clear sign you’re not meant to be with her. Better start saving for more expensive flowers to give to the next girl who tickles your fancy.
8. Friend zone level 1,000,000,000,000
Obviously, “the friend zone” is a metaphor for anyone who has had a crush on one of their friends, only to have been told by them, “I don’t like you that way. To me, you’re just a friend!” But, we also like to imagine that “the friend zone” is kind of a purgatory-esque type of limbo, with different levels and varying degrees of friend zoneness.
For instance, some people are on the outskirts of the friend zone. They aren’t actively trying to turn their bestie into their significant other, but if it happened, they wouldn’t be opposed to it. Then you’ve got people who are deep into the friend zone. They are waaaaaaaaay in there, okay? So far in the friend zone, they’ve met their crush’s parents. Now that’s wacked.
7. Charles’ rude awakening
Oh, snap! Did you see that? Did you see the expertly savage way this girl just demolished every one of Charles’ hopes of getting with her? Incredible! And all with one deftly placed, passive aggressive comment. This is simultaneously the saddest and most beautiful Facebook post we’ve ever seen.
Charles was probably patting himself on the back after this little tête-à-tête with the girl he wanted to make his girlfriend. He probably figured his carefully planned dinner date with her had gone off without a hitch. We imagine he considered himself pretty darn successful. Once he took a look at the picture he asked their waiter to take, he probably thought he was in the clear. But, when Allison dealt this little blow, it quickly became all too clear.
6. Who wants a guy when cereal already has your back?
Look, Cole, just take the hint. Whoever you’re texting isn’t interested, CAPEESH?!?! They don’t have time for you or for your inane texts. And when it comes to love? Pffft! They don’t love you, Cole! The only thing they love is cereal–and possibly binge-watching Netflix series on the weekends, but that’s it! So, just lay off, buster.
Yes, this savage texter and cereal are going steady now. It probably won’t be long before cereal gets down on one knee and snap, crackle, pops the question. That’ll throw Cole here for a Froot Loop. Bet that’ll Golden Smack him upside the face. Maybe he should figure out how not to be a Frosted Flake! Okay, we’ve got the cereal puns out of our system. Let’s move on, shall we?
5. Boy, the friend zone sure looks fun…we guess…
“Sorry, you can’t date me, but you can let me lean on you while I gaze lovingly into the eyes of the guy I am going to date.” Hmm. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, we’ll admit it, but we’re going to pass on your offer. Thanks anyway.
We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again. Nobody is ever obligated to like someone just because that someone has a crush on them. But, there’s letting someone down gently, and then there’s abusing the power that you have over someone, and given the look on this mascot for the friend zone’s face, we have to believe the latter’s the case in this scenario. Well, she’d better be willing to return this favor, that’s all we’ve got to say.
4. Doughnuts? Heck, WE’LL be your girlfriend!
This guy probably told himself, “I’m going to ask her to be my girlfriend by writing it on doughnuts. Nobody could say no to doughnuts, right? But, just in case she finds a loophole, then at least I’ll still have a box of delicious glazed, fried pastries to eat my feelings. It’s a win-win!” Oh, but he was wrong. For after his prospective girlfriend turned him down (very cleverly, too), not even a box of doughnuts was enough to bring him back from the depths of despair.
These doughnuts aren’t going to help this guy feel any better about his current relationship status (or lack thereof), but if you have to be sad and have feels, it’s better to do it with plenty of sweet treats on hand.
3. Keith, the honorary gay friend
You think you’re in the friend zone because the girl you like thought your dinner date the other night was just a friendly get-together? Ha! Yeah, that’s real cute, junior. Listen, move to the back of the line, alright? You need to make way for the real sorry SOBs like this guy, who didn’t just get drop-kicked into the friend zone, they got canon-balled in, like an acrobat in the world’s bitterest circus.
We’re optimists at heart. Call it naive, call it unrealistic, we don’t care. From where we’re sitting, the glass is always half-full. However, this time…oooooh. Well, we don’t see a silver lining to this cloud, let’s just put it that way. But, hey, if this guy can bounce back from a slam like this, anyone can.
2. Friends don’t spread rose petals on your bed, Luna
Honey…no…you are so, so wrong. Even if you are just dismissing this as “something a friend might do” in an effort to passive aggressively brush off the advances of the guy who’s got a crush on you, this just doesn’t work. Under no circumstances would a man who considers himself nothing more and nothing less than your friend scatter rose petals on your bed (which, we might add, is big enough for two).
This girl needs to wise up. He’s not trying to be a good pal, he’s trying to audition for the part of her boyfriend. He’s not exactly being subtle about it, either. Maybe it’s not what either one of these two wants to hear, but they’re both gonna have to face this rejection head on.
1. That’s gotta hurt
Even though learning that your crush doesn’t like you back is less than ideal, it’s still better to know rather than to keep wondering. Sure, it’s hard at first, but everything has a way of working out in the end, even if it’s not always in the way we expect it to.
Just because the person you thought you were dating didn’t think they were dating you doesn’t mean you can’t change that. Talk to them! Say something, dang it! Life is too short to be embarrassed about your heart’s desires, so don’t let the opportunity to tell someone how you really feel slip by. And if, after you’ve confessed your undying love, you get drop-kicked into the friend zone, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try, try again.
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