We all know at least one person who loves to get drunk AF. Never one to stop at a single drink, they go big or go home. These kinds of people could write several novels about their drunken escapades (if they could only remember). Then, there are some people who just take things to a whole other level of drunk. They redefine drunk. While a normal drunk person might pass out on the floor of their bathroom after vomiting all night, these drunks pass out in a box of packing peanuts, naked from the waist down. The absurd things they do defies logic, reason and even sanity, in normal circumstances.
And so in tribute, we’ve compiled a collection of the funniest images of people who redefined what it means to be drunk. So, pour a little glass of something and get ready to laugh at all the drunk people.
15 A bartender's natural instinct
Someone is taking their job home with them. This poor sap can't help but stack the barstools on the countertop before hitting the hay. It's like a sixth sense, a natural instinct that, if left undone, would probably wake him up at night. He'd probably have conversations with his roommates while they were all trying to sleep, which would go something like this: "Dude, I forgot to stack the stools! I'm going to get in so much trouble with my boss."
Maybe he just has a stickler for a boss, who has him programmed to tidy up at the end of the night. That's actually not a bad problem to have, especially in a house full of four bartenders. Even just looking at the countertop and the surrounding area, it’s not very messy. If that’s what being drunk is like for these bartenders, then they probably get invited to a lot of parties since they don’t get trashy and eff everything up.
Here’s another drunk that wouldn’t be so bad to have around. This guy’s roommate must be some kind of genius because instead of talking about dumb crap and blacking out, he got drunk and designed an airplane from scratch. How does one even begin to do something like that? It’s one thing to draw an airplane and maybe do something cool with the actual design of one (which is still beyond what most drunk people can do), but to actually do all sorts of math and calculations, too? That’s some serious superhuman brain power.
As a matter of fact, the guy and his drunkenly productive roommate were interviewed by The Guardian newspaper after his tweet went viral. Apparently, his roommate, Mark, is a mechanical engineering student, who clarified that the plane was actually an ekranoplan, which can fly over the surface of bodies of water. Next time he gets drunk, he aspires to cure cancer or finalize the plans for his plane. Now that’s what we call #drunkgoals.
13 Can you even selfie?
There are normal people and then there are "bathroom selfie" people. It’s like whenever they see a mirror, they need to have photographic evidence of the occasion. Bathroom selfies can be cute, or even sexy when done right, but things tend to go wrong when alcohol is involved. Take, for example, this Twitter user, who had a major bathroom selfie fail. Her sense of balance must have malfunctioned while trying to get a picture of her drunken self.
Instead of getting up to try again, she was down for the count and knew it. So, what does she do? Go with the flow because YOLO right? She can’t go full selfie, so she may as well document her predicament on the floor. At the very least, it’s a funny moment to come back to when she’s sober. She'll be saying, “Hey guys, remember that time I was too drunk to appear in my own selfie?”
12 Drunk level=Mom
There's something about moms who drink wine. It turns them into giggly school girls, who forget their age and their responsibilities. Take this guy's mom, who looks like she's already had a few glasses before imbibing in the one she's currently got in her hand. While other people might do something like this when they've smoked and gotten high, this mom has clearly accessed the creative part of her brain with a bit of red wine.
We can see how it might seem like a great idea, at the time, to take all your potatoes out and count them like you’re on Sesame Street (or perhaps draw faces on them and use them like dolls). However, has it ever occurred to anyone who was really drunk to actually arrange them in a very obsessive way? Putting things in size order takes some level of concentration. But, if that engineering student can design an airplane during a drunken blackout, then someone’s mom can surely find the brain cells to arrange her potatoes and laugh about it after.
11 White boy wasted
What in God's name happened at this party? There's so much chaos in this photo, it's hard to know where to begin. It looks like someone's living room, maybe, but there are pillows, blankets and clothing everywhere—never mind all the red Solo cups and beer cans. Then, there's the bike, just leaning against the coffee table like it ain't a big deal. At least that might mean they didn't try to drive a car and instead biked to get more beer. Even more likely, though, is that they didn't even make it out the door.
Just look at these two. They've clearly redefined drunk with the interesting positions they found themselves in before they passed out. Their heads are nowhere to be seen. We just see legs sticking out from furniture. How is it even possible to sleep with your head hanging over the side of something? That can’t be comfortable. When you’re that drunk, though, it’s not about comfort, it’s about finding someplace reasonably clean to lie down, so you can avoid hurting yourself by continuing to drink and/or try to stay upright.
10 Drunk Steve vs. Sober Steve
This is so genius. Write yourself a note and prep some hydration and food when you're sober, in order to take care of your future drunk self. Sober Steve is so thoughtful, guys. Chicken wings? That sounds like the greatest hangover meal ever. Feel free to steal this idea. Sober Steve probably wouldn't mind, although drunk Steve might. Looks like drunk Steve is kind of an A-hole. He almost cursed at himself, but then crossed it out when he remembered that he is drunk Steve. Drunk Steve definitely doesn't appreciate what sober Steve does for him. Regardless of his sober self having his drunk and hungover selves best interests in mind, drunk Steve won't have anyone bossing him around. He's his own man, dammit!
Writing notes to the various levels of your drunk selves is definitely a new level of drunk for sure. Now, if only hangover Steve would remind sober Steve not to drink for a while, he can repair any damage done by drunk Steve, the rascal.
9 SWD: Shopping While Drunk
Excuse me, but how drunk do you have to get in order to purchase an actual, real- life ostrich from someone? And more importantly, how rich do you have to be? Twitter user, @ShervinSinatra, proved he was both when he posted this tweet a year ago. His feathery friend is just chilling in the back seat of what looks like some type of van or SUV. The best part is it doesn't even look scared. It's just sitting there, looking ostentatiously at the guy taking the picture as if to say, "I am your God, human. Worship me."
Aside from its absurdly long neck, ostriches also have really strong legs, which can kick the crap out of someone. They’re also incredibly fast for birds, reaching speeds of 43 miles per hour when running. Hopefully, they got the ostrich drunk, too, or else they might have had a hard time getting it to do what they wanted.
8 So drunk, she thought she was a cat
Drunk roommate stories are the best, aren't they? This lucky person found their roommate passed out, with all the lights on, in a box full of packing peanuts. She's got her glasses on, what looks like lipstick and a t-shirt, but that's about it. It's pretty impressive she even managed to fit inside a box full of packing peanuts. They take up a surprisingly large amount of space once you get them all in there. She must be a very small girl, though, since her knees aren't even poking over the top of the box.
What would possess someone, even after drinking, to get inside a box and fall asleep there? Her bed was right there! There's only one explanation, aside from being drunk, of course. She must have thought she was a cat. Cats love jumping into boxes, especially when they're full of squeaky packing peanuts. It's like when kids jump into a ball pit. There's something both relaxing and satisfying about nearly sinking into a container of plastic things and oftentimes making a mess of it.
7 Texting yourself is normal, right?
When you go out for the night and have a few drinks—or 20—it's common courtesy to text your friends when you get home. They just want to make sure you got home alright, especially if you decided to drive (don't drink and drive, though, kids...call a taxi, Lyft or Uber).
Regardless of how this person got home, they clearly were drunk AF. Somehow, they ended up texting themselves, instead of a friend, to make sure they got home alright. They must have consumed a lot of alcohol to not even realize who they were texting and that their friend texted them at exactly the same time. What's more, they replied back to themselves right after, confirming they made it home in one piece. How thoughtful of them. Looks like another case of split-personality when sober, drunk and hangover you will all have different opinions on the night before. At least hungover you will laugh about it later at brunch.
6 Channeling Flavor Flav
It's hard to find the words to describe the hilarity that must have been this moment for all who witnessed it. There was definitely a game of beer pong happening on that table in front of him, but he looks like he was many beers in by that point. Did everyone just go outside or leave him to his own devices? That's never a good idea during a party.
There's always one person who doesn't know their limit or blows past it like it ain't no thang. Obviously, he's well past it if he's gone for both the curtains, with the rod intact, as well as the wall clock. Who’s he trying to be exactly? He looks like a combination of Flavor Flav and one of those strong men from old circuses (the ones who’d lift the heavy barbells above their heads)—except, of course, he’s naked. Way to be confusing, drunk guy.
5 Llama larceny
Talk about an epic night of drunkenness! A group of French dudes actually kidnapped a llama from a nearby circus after a night of clubbing. Initially, they tried to take a zebra, but he wanted no part of their plan. The llama, whose name is Serge, was totally game. They took him all around the city of Bordeaux, taking photos with him and posing for some with people who came across them.
Apparently, the llama was a good sport through all of this and followed wherever they led. They even took him for a ride on the local tram, until the driver finally noticed there was a llama with them and asked them to leave. The joke was on him, though, when they left the llama in his care for the night. Luckily, Serge's owner didn't press charges and he went home unharmed, but full of memories of his one taste of freedom.
4 So hungry...must open can
This has to be a new level of drunken munchies. Someone's roommate got so drunk, they either couldn't remember how to use a can opener or just couldn't find one. Instead, they went all ninja on the can and tried to slice it open with a bread knife. It appears to be one very sharp bread knife because they managed to break it open. However, they may have been aided by that object next to the can, which is either a rock or a potato.
What was even in there that they just had to have in the middle of the night? From the looks of it, there were beans or something similar inside, but how did they even get it all out like that? It'd be fun to see a before and after pic of what was in the can. How did they eat the beans? Off the knife? With a fork? Spread over tortilla chips, with some cheese and salsa? Oh, gosh. Nachos sound so good right now and we're not even drunk...yet.
3 It's called fridging
People passing out in weird places is nothing new in the world of drunk people, but getting spooned by a refrigerator door? Now, that's redefining drunk in more ways than one. Drinking too much has been known to give people superhuman strength and other weird abilities, but this is just too much. How the heck did he get it off in the first place? Drunk people definitely shouldn't be handling tools of any kind.
Maybe he just wanted to have a midnight snack and didn't want to have to get out of bed to go get it. All that food is going to go bad sitting in the middle of a bed, though. While undergoing a spout of drunk people logic, he must have thought they'd still be refrigerated because they're in the refrigerator door. It doesn't exactly work that, bro. Next time, prepare for a night of drunk munchies like sober Steve did and get a mini fridge for your room.
2 Blood or wine?
It's never fun having to throw up when you're drunk, especially when you can see everything you ate and drank in the last five hours. Sometimes, certain types of alcohol turn your vomit into not so pretty colors, which scare you into thinking something's wrong. Apparently, this person was fooled, in their drunken stupor, into thinking they had somehow gotten to a scary level of drunkenness where vomiting blood had become a reality. Not sure how that would even be a possibility, unless they had an ulcer or something already.
In any case, calling an ambulance seems like a completely logical reaction to seeing what looks like blood in your vomit. Well, it does if you're sober, anyway. However, this person was not sober and that was very much not blood in their vomit, luckily for them. Killing off brain cells often has the unwanted side effect of wiping your memory and making you temporarily dumb. If you're drinking red wine all night, it will most definitely turn your vomit red.
1 Do you even mugshot, bro?
Wow. This guy wins the award for defining new levels of drunk. He was so drunk, he probably got arrested for public intoxication. As the cops took him down to the station, he probably blacked out and fell asleep somewhere along the way. If you've ever been around someone who's that drunk, it's damn near impossible to wake them up.
Looks like he couldn't even get his eyes open, never mind wake up to take a photo. So, they did what anyone would do if they were trying to get a mugshot of someone and needed their eyes open. They held up his head and lifted his forehead skin and, in the process, his eyelids. Now, he just looks really surprised or scared, instead of drunk. It makes you wonder how many mugshots there are out there where an officer’s arm or hand appears because the perp isn’t cooperating. Police officers deserve a round of applause for having to deal with dipsticks like this on a regular basis. Bravo, guys, bravo.