The internet is the best. Seriously. Can you think of anything better than being able to shop from the comfort of your home? Or, than being able to watch hilarious animal videos? Or, being able to read awesome articles like this one? We can't. The internet has a lot to offer, and it holds nothing back.
But, if we had to make one complaint about the internet, it's that, well, we get to see the antics of all of these amazing people, but we don't actually get to meet them. We can be friends with them on Tumblr, and Facebook, and Twitter, but not in real life. We can share memes and aesthetic posts all day long, but we never get to physically hang out with them. We hate that.
We may not be able to spend time with our internet friends in real life, but at least we get to laugh at all of their crazy shenanigans. Check out these 15 people you wish you knew in real life.
17 1700's Smackdown
If you have friends who are reenactors, consider yourself lucky. Reenactors are knowledgeable people who value history and tradition in a way that is very rare for people in this day and age. So value your reenactor friends, cherish the time you spend with them, and listen to the wealth of information that they have so that you, too, can grow in knowledge. Also, you should see if you can convince them to do something like this, because it's hilarious.
This picture is worth its weight in gold. No, really, you could use this picture to trade for food and other necessities when it all goes to hell. This is the definition of #SquadGoals. This is the level of friendship that we can only aspire to. That's why we want to know these people in real life. We want to dress up in corsets and breeches and get in on the hilarity.
16 This girl knows what's up
Think about it, guys. If you were best friends with this girl in real life, she would probably allow you access to her lifetime supply of Nutella. How can you turn that down? All the Nutella you can eat, whenever you want it? That's the deal of the century.
Oh, but don't think that we're trying to imply that this girl doesn't have anything else to bring to the friendship. We're sure that she is charming, funny, and delightful. We're sure that she is a great friend. The best. Clearly, she must be smart, because she's buying all of that hazelnut spread. Think of the Nutella as an added bonus. A sweet, tasty, delicious added bonus. Think about all of the fun that you two could have during a sleepover. You could bake a bunch of Nutella recipes from Pinterest, and then eat those yummy treats together. Being friends with her sounds pretty sweet!
15 The queen of revenge
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Via: tumblr.com[/caption]
When you're dealing with a breakup, or you're struggling to overcome some obstacles in your life, this is the friend that you need to be able to turn to. This woman knows how to cut her losses. Look at her! When that idiot thief ran up and stole her bag, she knew better than to embark on a wild goose chase after him. In a spur of the moment decision, she makes up her mind to ditch her purse, and go after the criminal's bike, instead. Brilliant. Stone cold brilliant.
Friends get into trouble together. And years from now, when you're old and gray, you'll think back on all of that mischief and laugh. But right now, when you're actually doing the mischief, you need a quick-thinking friend with cat-like reflexes. You need someone you can get into scrapes with, and someone who is smart enough to get you out of them. This woman hits every mark.
14 A devious mind
Oh, this is good. This is criminal mastermind stuff right here, folks. This is a real gem. And if you were friends with this person in real life, you would get devious notions like this one all the time. Not only could you help them craft the perfect tweets for their ex boyfriend's Twitter page, you could also benefit from their expertise when it comes to getting back at your own exes. A friendship with this person has the potential to be very fruitful.
Oooooooh, we don't envy this scorned lover's ex. He is in for one big world of hurt. We would, however, like to know what his Twitter handle is so that we can watch as he is slowly driven mad. That sounds like fun. And, if we were good friends with his ex, we could pop some popcorn, sit back, and laugh about his declining mental state together. #FriendshipGoals
13 Puppet master
We aren't trying to be patronizing or anything, but old people are just so cute. Well, not all of them. Some of them are real jerks. But we're not talking about the jerks. We're talking about the ones who knit sweaters for people, and who give up their seats on the bus for younger passengers, and who just generally have a really great attitude about life—those are the real MVPs. Those are the sweet, pure cinnamon rolls who have only become sweeter and purer as the years have passed by.
This old lady feeding squirrels at the park by using a tiny puppet of herself is exactly the sort of heartwarming content that we expect to find on the internet. We definitely need to be friends with her. We could help her feed the squirrels, then walk her home, have some tea with her, and she could tell us about how awesome things used to be.
12 The only way to fly
If you don't have a friend who is a pilot, then you are the pilot friend. It doesn't matter if you have never flown a plane before. It doesn't even matter if you don't actually have any friends. The fact remains: you are the pilot friend. Congratulations. Now, go buy a plane and start zooming across the sky. You are duty-bound to do so.
You know what? Never mind. Don't do that. If you have never flown a plane, you should stay the heck out of the cockpit, because, clearly, you are a danger to yourself and others. So scratch that idea. But, don't worry, we have another plan—find the person who flew this plane, and make friends with them. Seriously, do it right now. You won't be sorry. They'll probably let you be their copilot, and you'll get to call the people on the ground "peasants." That is the dream, right there.
11 The best squad ever
You're not really going to make us explain why we want to be best friends with a guy and a dog who wear t-shirts with each other's faces on them, are you? 'Cause, like, we can. We just don't think that we should have to. It should be obvious. In fact, you should have to explain to us why you wouldn't want to be best friends with these two. So, come on. Spill. Why don't you want to be friends with them? What's wrong with you?
While you sit there and try to come up with a logical reason as to why you wouldn't want to know these guys, we'll tell you why we do. For starters, if we knew this man and his corgi, we could convince him to let us pet the corgi. Next, if we were all best buddies, we could all get hilarious t-shirts with each other's faces on them. All in all, it could be really great.
10 Heavyweight cat-lifting champ
This vet assistant has witnessed some sh*t. She sees animals in a way that most of us never get to. She's like a celebrity's bodyguard. Sure, we all love that fat cat right now. But we bet that this girl could tell us things about Mr. Fluffykins that would change the way we see him. He may act charitable to his fans when the paparazzi is around. When the cameras are turned off, though, he's a penny-pinching diva with a catty attitude (pun intended). If we were friends with her, we could get all of the juicy details on animal celebrities, like Mr. Fluffykins.
And did we mention that this girl is strong? That's another reason why we want her in our squad. She's got muscle. We could get her to help us move the bodies of our victims. Uh, no! No, haha, that's not what we meant. We meant, uh, she can . . . help us move our groceries! Yeah, that's it.
9 This devilish pun maker
Why does everybody act like puns are terrible? Will you guys knock it off!?! Puns are hilarious! If it weren't for puns, we would have nothing to offer in the way of humor. If you people don't lay off of criticizing our clever wordplay, we are going to have to find new friends.
Ah, here's one now! We bet this sassy girl will be our new bestie. This post proves that she is more than capable of coming up with awesome puns on-the-fly. More to the point, it shows that she displays the appropriate amount of pride for cracking wise. We love cracking puns, she loves cracking puns. We don't see how this could possibly turn out badly.
Yep, it's official. This is our new best friend. Sure, we've never spoken. And, yes, she probably has no idea that this post exists. But still, our friendship is going very well so far. In fact, you could say it "rocks."
8 The prince of pranks
Yaaaasssss! We all need this kind of person in our lives! We need someone who has a notebook full of pranks, and Microsoft Word documents riddled with high jinks that they are just itching to use. A jokester. We need someone with a great sense of humor as their superpower, and we need them to join our squad, pronto!
This prank wasn't sanctioned. Nobody made this guy drop fake one-hundred dollar bills around. He came up with that evil prank all on his own. We bet he has all kinds of wicked ideas for jokes. He probably sits in a spin-y chair in his study at night, twiddling his fingers, and cackling madly as he comes up with harmless yet hilarious tricks to play on people. If you ever needed to get back at someone—exes, siblings, coworkers—this is the guy to go to. If only we were friends with him in real life!
7 This no-nonsense lady
We realize that the person who posted this picture isn't this delightful old lady. At least, not yet. But that's okay. We don't mind. We are perfectly willing to become friends with them right now, while they're still young. We want to see, firsthand, the reasons why they will grow up to be such a grumpy old lady. We want to know all of the details about them, and how they react to the events that take place over the course of their life. We want to experience their journey. But mostly, we just want to know why they end up turning into a cynical, cat-loving Nana who flips off photographers.
TBH? Same. We are all that bird-giving, cat-wielding lady. So if you feel like this lady is the person you will grow up to be, come over here and chat with us. We think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
6 This pun wizard
Well played, young sir! Thanks to your epic pun cosplay, you have earned yourself a spot near the top of our People We Need To Be Friends With In Real Life list.
This is the sort of hilarious idea that comes to you in the shower. This is the kind of thing that you come up with when you're laying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep, and it's so great that you have to jump up and write it down so you don't forget. And since this costume is clearly the result of a geeky "AHA!" moment, we are going to assume that this guy has those frequently. Which is why we want to be his friend.
The other reason why we want to be his friend is because we have a costume party coming up in a few weeks, and if we rub shoulders with this guy, he might let us borrow his DumbleDora The Explorer costume.
5 The weatherman who worships Cat Zeus
Did this weatherman lose a bet? Or, is he just really passionate about the feline Greek god, Cat Zeus? Maybe he was using his job as a meteorologist to spread the word about his beloved lightning-wielding deity. But we're just grasping at straws, here. We have no idea what was really going on.
And that's the main reason why we want to be this guy's BFF—to find out what's going on in this picture. In order to find out, we would introduce ourselves and talk about the weather. And not in a small talk way. He's a weatherman, he probably loves to talk about the clouds, and the humidity, and sh*t. Once we had established a sense of security, we'd show him this picture and demand answers! We would also demand to know what the forecast looks like for Sunday, because we have this thing we have to go to, and we need to know if we should bring a sweater. Hey, maybe he'll let us borrow his!
4 The mastermind behind this post
This. This is precisely the sort of person we want to be friends with. They're a real dynamo. A critical thinker. And imagination? This Tumblr user has that in abundance. He or she probably comes up with hilarious and profound realizations like this one all of the time. We would love to hear what sort of delightfully wacky thing they come up with next.
This is the friend that you stay up really late with—the one that you have early morning conversations with. This is the person who gets a natural high from being too sleepy. And we all know what it feels like to be high, are we right? When this internet goer is in their element, we bet they have all kinds of witticisms to share. This is the person that makes you say, "Huh. I never thought of it that way!" And that's why you need them to be your friend in real life.
3 Whoever named this street
Alright, who did this? Which snarky, smart ass guy or gal named this street? We want to know. We've got some questions we need to ask them. Namely, will you be our friend? You seem like a really fun person. We, too, want people to leave us alone. It just seems like we have a lot in common. We think we would get along well.
We are all over street signs that include puns. Not only does it make memorizing directions a lot simpler, it's also hilarious. Like, yeah, we could call this Blooming Mountain Gardenia Bush Stream Lane. Or, we could call it Lois Lane, and watch all of the Superman fans do a double take every time they drive by. Street signs give you the perfect chance to be snarky. This clever person knew that.
This person, whoever they are, saw an opportunity, and they took it. That is exactly the sort of person you need in your life.
2 The scamp who thought this up
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Via: funnyordie.com[/caption]
There's a lot to admire in this GIF. We're going to break it down (as soon as we stop laughing, that is).
First, props to the guy who figured out that this was even a thing. We definitely want to be friends with him. You would have to have a creative mind to think up something like this, and it's always a good idea to have a creative friend. They can help you do creative things. Like, you know, stuff with construction paper and glitter. He could probably help you out with some pipe cleaners, too. But, see, the options are endless, because this guy's imaginative mind is down for anything.
Next, we want to appreciate this well-behaved doggie's patience. Who's a good boy/girl? You are, you gorgeous Golden Retriever. Actually, we kind of want to be friends with this dog more than his/her owner.
1 This straight-talking child
Like every generation, this one has developed its own set of slang. Phrases like "YOLO" and "swag" pepper the sentences of our contemporaries. Which is super annoying, because nobody actually likes those words. Why can't we bring back some good ole 1920's slang? Like "You're the bee's knees!" and "You're the cat's pajamas!" Those are way better, if you ask us.
Anyway, that's beside the point. What we're trying to say is that there is a lot of crap to cut through every time people open their mouths. Not with this kid. No, sir. He's a straight shooter. He doesn't sugarcoat anything and he wouldn't dream of telling you harmless white lies. He only speaks the truth. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's painful. But this kid knows that the truth shall set you free.
For this hilarious child, honesty is the best policy. We could all learn a thing or two from this kid.