Not everyone likes to party, which is totally and completely okay. But those who not only like to party, but also get a little out of control, know that crazy things can happen. Well, at least they seem crazy until you realize during a conversation with friends that a lot of people undergo many of the same experiences when they go out too. Admittedly, some are pretty embarrassing, like someone who can’t hold their drink or when they drink so much that they fall asleep during the pregame. However, most are just laughable situations that you can chalk up to being just a regular thing for everyone who likes to party. Keep reading for 15 great examples of things that happen to everyone when they have a night on the town.
16 When You Say You're Not Going To Get Crazy
Picture this: you’ve just settled down at the bar with your friends, but you aren’t feeling it much. In fact, you’ve almost worked up the courage to tell your friends that you have a headache and need to head back soon — even though you’ve really just been thinking about binge watching Bob’s Burgers for the last 45 minutes. But then, they somehow convince you to do just one round of shots. So, you do. What can one shot hurt? The next thing you know, you wake up on your bathroom floor with your hand in a bag of half-empty Cheetos and your clothes on backwards. Never underestimate the power of persuasion, my friends. Your friends know you the best so it’s easier for them to convince you to do things than you think.
15 Come On Brain, Convince Me To Do Something Smart For Once
When it comes to chores, you can get away with blowing them off when you're kid. All you gotta do is fib a little to your parents about having a lot of homework and you're pretty much set. But when you're an adult, chores and general responsibilities are crucial in keeping your fragile solo adult life together. Yet, those of us who like to day drink (or drink in general, really), still seem to struggle with choosing between getting stuff done like the responsible adult you claim to be and wasting the day away throwing back Bloody Mary's, mimosas, and god knows what else. But in the end, the heart wants what the heart wants. And like the spoiled brats that inhabit these hearts, they usually get what they want.
14 We’ve All Had To Pep Talk Ourselves Out Of Barfing
When you're too drunk but you coach yourself through it pic.twitter.com/1FVvFW4NiQ— Because I'm a Guy (@CauseWereGuys) June 8, 2017
Honestly, if you party frequently, this maneuver is pretty much second nature to you at this point. I’ve seen it firsthand too many times to even count. Either someone has taken too many shots or you’re still on the mend from last night’s craziness. And let’s make something clear: this isn’t the kind of pep talk that happens at the end of the night when you’re already wasted. This is the pre-bar pep talk you have with yourself in the bathroom after you made the huge mistake of taking that shot of Fireball without a chaser. This is that pep talk you need to give yourself when that heartburn is threatening to ruin your entire night. Most of the time it works but hey, you have to do what you have to do. So, do it!
13 Persuade Me To Drink Alone. I Dare You
Believe it or not, there are people in this world that need a little more than a little convincing to go out for a night on the town. Some people just don't enjoy drinking, clubbing and what have you, which is totally fine. It’s not for everyone. But there are imposters among this bunch. Yes, there are people out there that make it seem like it'll be difficult to get them to drink when in reality their convincing threshold is practically nonexistent. Take Skull Trumpet here for example. It appears that he couldn’t really care less whether or not he gets drunk alone and seemingly leaves the decision to get drunk up to his Facebook friends. But it only requires one like... which he swiftly delivers himself. Well, that was easy!
12 I’m On The Wine Diet
There comes a time in every drinker’s life when your taste evolves and you finally give up the Vladimir Vodka and Natty Light beer that you have known and loved since the day you started drinking. As you wean yourself off of the truly awful alcohol that you’ve known for so long, you begin to realize that there are other forms of alcohol out there that not only actually taste good (like wine), but don’t threaten your life with every sip you take. Okay, maybe they aren’t that bad, but anyone who’s had Vladimir at least once can attest that those hangovers come from a special part of Hell. So, once you realize how great wine is, you want it. All. The. Time. So, have a glass or two for dinner. It is good for you after all (right?).
11 I’m Giving Up Soda To Be Healthy *Drinks Four Margaritas*
Me: *doesn't drink soda because it's unhealthy— Drunk (@drunk) June 2, 2017
Also me: pic.twitter.com/KPNkHOFomP
In recent years, study after study has killed the soda-drinking vibe just a little bit more as they reveal just how truly awful these sugar beverages are for you. So, naturally, many people have cut soda out of their diets to try to curb their sugar intake and live slightly healthier lives. Kudos to them. But then, those same people go out to the club every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night where they drink literal pitchers of alcohol. We'll admit that we're guilty of partaking in this ridiculous double standard but seriously, where is the logic in that? Alcohol has just as many calories in it (if not more), causes a lot of different diseases, and can (and often does) turn you into a giant idiot.
10 Is That Really Me In The Mirror?
It’s no secret that alcohol goes through our systems faster than anything else. Or maybe it just seems that way because it also makes us drunk and loopy. Either way, if you go out and you get drunk (or vice versa), you will inevitably end up in the bathroom. And once you’re relieved, you’ll think that you’re a new person. Well, at least you’ll think that way until you get out of the stall and are standing face to face with your drunk self at the sink. That’s when all of those Jäger bombs and vodka cranberries are going to hit you and you’ll make a bunch of faces to try and convince yourself that you’re not that drunk. It will never work — but at least you’ll feel a little bit better.
8 Okay, I Swear I’m Actually Done Drinking This Time
I honestly can’t even give you a rough estimate on the amount of times I’ve woken up and said the exact words, “I think I’m going to stop drinking for a little while.” I might just be getting too old for the crazy amount of sugar in the cocktails or the hours upon hours of sound-barrier-breaking music that makes my head hurt for days. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who has sworn off alcohol entirely after an especially rough night. You think about how great it would be to wake up early on a Saturday morning for once and not have to nurse yourself back to health for six hours before you can do anything productive. But none of that matters the second someone invites you to go out. It could be mere minutes after you’ve declared sobriety; FOMO will always win.
7 Times Change… It’s As Simple As That
Who remembers the D.A.R.E. program? For those who don’t, this was an anti-drug program geared towards elementary school kids. They brought police officers in to talk to you about the horrible effects of drugs and alcohol and if you paid attention and “passed,” you were awarded with a t-shirt that outwardly proclaimed your lifelong anti-substance allegiance. And for a few years there, you really did believe it. “No drugs or alcohol for me! I am the embodiment of all things pure and good and I will never disappoint my loved ones,” you told yourself. Yeah, that worked out until you realized that alcohol (not so much drugs, though) is fun in moderation. Soon enough, you’re completely desensitized to the substances you once feared with every cell of your being.
6 The Uber Struggle Is Real
We have all been here, let's be honest. The lights in the club are blinking to life and everyone is looking at each like trying to figure out what to do next. Maybe you're heading to get pizza or striving to get home as soon as possible to meet your booty call. Either way, you are stumbling out onto the sidewalk to catch the Uber you successfully hailed after seven tries. Though you called for an Uber and you found them outside the club, your job is unfortunately not over. No one is perfect, so the driver asks you for directions to get you where you need to go. Your answer? Drunken nonsense. It's okay. No need to be ashamed because if you're reading this, you probably made it somewhere safe.
5 Pace Yourself With Shots Because They Will Come Back To Haunt You
This is a classic mistake. Your parents and your parents’ parents (and even their parents before them) have all made some version of this mistake. Unless, of course, they don’t drink, but we’ll say for arguments sake that they did. Whoever they are and whatever they were drinking, they drank too much of it too fast because the effects took a little longer than expected to kick in. You can probably guess what happened next: every single one of those shots, or beers or cocktails, hits you all at once like a ton of bricks. Some people may recognize the reference in this post to be a scene from American Horror Story: Coven when Madison knocks another character out with a brick. Just remember that the next time you’re pounding shots.
4 You Drank HOW Much Before I Got Here?
Not everyone has the ability to do it, but sometimes it is possible for people to drink and also hold down a responsible adult life. When this instance occurs, it can mean having to take care of things like doing the dishes, folding some laundry, or even staying a little late at work to get ahead before you can meet your friends out for a night of fun. Or maybe you’re just naturally late. Under either circumstance, you have more than likely gotten somewhere to meet your friends to have a few drinks and they are already half past gone. When you walk in the door and you get this look from at least one of your friends who has already been there for a few hours, you know the night is going to get out of hand.
3 We're Almost Home Guys, Stay In Formation
Trying to get your friends home when you're the only sober one
An impossible featPosted by VT on Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Every once a while, there will come a time when you either don’t feel like drinking while you’re out or you just feel like being the responsible friend that night. Whatever your motive is, you’ll hopefully enjoy your time out as you look forward to the next morning where you won’t be hungover. Your friends on the other hand, might feel like sh*t and call you lame for not getting buck-wild, but hey, no shame in our game. You, however, will be able to talk plenty of smack to them because this little video shows exactly what you’ll be dealing with as soon as the bar shuts down. You go from being laid back and relaxed to a drill sergeant. Keeping everyone safe and on the right path to their respective destinations won’t be easy — but at least you’ll be sober and coherent enough for the job.
2 The First Shot Is ALWAYS The Hardest
Whether you start the night off with a few mild mixed drinks and follow those with a shot or take three shots to start the night off right, that first shot of the night is never easy to get down. It might be the fact that you’re still mildly hungover or you’re still recovering from a rough experience you had with a specific type of alcohol your freshman year. Whatever the case is, the first shot is just downright brutal. I’m not saying you should swear them off altogether. But one does not just jump headfirst into the initial shot of the night without any sort of mental preparation or chaser. It’s better to keep your shot down then pretend to act like it doesn’t bother you. Trust me.
1 Don’t Be Acting A Fool While Trying To Get Drunk Food
When you're drunk as hell at McDonalds at 1:30 in the morning and the police walk in https://t.co/Lr4oyZWYKP— Drunk (@drunk) June 8, 2017
How many times have you heard someone say they are absolutely, 100% NOT spending money on food after the club? “I have food at home,” they say. “I don’t need Taco Bell,” they say. These people can try to convince themselves all they want, but we all know that no night out is complete without drunk food. It’s disgusting to think about how much you ate after you ingested, probably, double your suggested daily caloric intake in alcohol. But you have to admit that all that grease does help you at the end of the night (at least that's what it feels like). The only thing that makes this trip to the fast food place nearest you undesirable is the need to compose yourself. At first, you’re fine… until you have to walk past anyone even remotely authoritative looking.