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15 Reasons We Want To Be Rebel Wilson

When Rebel Wilson appeared in our lives as Fat Amy in her breakthrough hit, Pitch Perfect, we didn’t know what to do with her. She was quirky, she was funny, a straight-shooter and unabashedly confident in her own skin. She had some of the best lines in a movie filled with quotables. And before the credits even rolled and the The Barden Bellas reigned supreme, we knew exactly what we wanted from Rebel Wilson. We wanted to be her. As her star has grown over the last few years, appearing on screen in How To Be Single and on stage in Guys & Dolls, and as we wait for the release of Pitch Perfect 3, we can’t wait to see what other tricks she has up her sleeve. In the meantime, here are 15 reasons we want to be Rebel Wilson.

15 She Speaks The Truth About Cardio

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When Fat Amy said the now immortal words, “Yea, no, don’t sign me up for cardio”, a round of applause erupted from across the lands. T-shirts emblazoned with that fight song were sold, and we wore them proudly. Let’s be honest, as heart-healthy and endorphin-releasing as cardio is, cardio mainly suuucks. Sure, there are some out out there who train for marathons, take sweaty selfies with big smiles and post smug “inspo” quotes like, “No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch”, but are they really happy? Are they as happy as a bird with a french fry? No, because they don’t eat french fries. And there’s only one acceptable reason to do cardio: to eat more french fries.

14 She’s Proud Of Her Accomplishments

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She doesn’t let others' definition of success poopoo on her parade. I’m pretty sure that in another movie, Fat Amy would have become Thin Amy. But not with Rebel Wilson in the role. Instead, her major, character-changing win in the film is this: goes from horizontal running to vertical running! And for that alone, she’s an inspiration to us all. So what if you’re only on Day 2 of a six-week fitness program? Celebrate the small win. I mean, you totally had chicken breast for lunch and one superfood today. You’re basically already Queen of the Treadmill, Khaleesi of counting calories, Mother of Macros. Embrace the fitness “journey”, declare war on carbs as a Facebook status, give it your all. It’s what Fat Amy would do.

13 She’s Awkward AF, But Can Still Flirt

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The Little Mermaid ruined my game. See, I was 11 years old when Sebastian the Crab gave flirting advice to Ariel (and little girls around the world). “Pucker your lips like this, flutter your lids like this”, he said. I practiced that look for years, but news flash: very few women can get away with those moves. If the rest of us try it, someone (most likely a crush), will most definitely jab us with an epi pen because, “Oops, you looked like you were going into anaphylactic shock.” Rebel Wilson’s flirting skills, on the other hand, are a breath of fresh air. She embraces her awkward, leans into her confidence, and says whatever pops into her head. Now, if we could only wink like she does.

12 She Is A Descendant of Walt Disney

When Wilson took the stand in a Melbourne court in her defamation suit against a publishing company recently, she revealed to the jury something none of us expected. It turns out that she is a descendant of Walt Disney; specifically her great-aunt Lillian Bounds was Disney’s wife. It is this lucky genealogy that has apparently made her eligible as a member of the very secretive, very exclusive “Club 33”. Club 33 is a trio of private clubs in Disneyland that mere mortals like us will never even notice let alone enter. According to Disney legend, the club has fewer than 500 members! Wilson even documented her trip to all the hidden parts of the happiest place on earth on her Instagram account, writing that she had dinner at the same table as Johnny Depp. This hidden restaurant in New Orleans Square is the only place in Disneyland where alcohol is served. Disneyland plus booze? Hell yeah, we want to be Rebel Wilson!

11 Her Girl Squad Is The G.O.A.T

Cheersing to Pitch Perfect 4! We'd do these movies forever x

A post shared by Rebel Wilson (@rebelwilson) on

One of the main reasons, nay, the reason we want to be Rebel Wilson is because we want to be friends with her friends. She gets to watch the Superbowl at Anna Kendrick’s pad, shoot the breeze with comedians like Elizabeth Banks, Leslie Mann and Alison Brie, and she’s even met Tina Fey! But look, we could easily be convinced to give up a kidney if it would let us be able spend a day with her and the rest of the Barden Bellas. Because these girls are the epitome of #friendshipgoals. The squad recently wrapped up filming Pitch Perfect 3 and one scroll through any of their social media shows how much fun they all have together. Playing tennis? Check. Pillow fights? Check. Pranks? Check. Girl trip to Mexico? Check. Check. Check. Bellas, if you ever need a new member, give us an aca-call!

10 She Is ROTFL Funny

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The truth is that she’s not only a Rebel, she’s a riot. (Ugh, that was a terrible pun!) That’s another reason we want to be Rebel Wilson: the girl is hilarious. If we’d give up a kidney in exchange for one night with her friends, we’d easily exchange a part of our femur for even an inch of her funny bone. (We don’t need femurs, do we?) The lady is legit hilarious. Sure, it helps that she picks films with funny writing, (Besides the Pitch Perfect franchise, she was a delight in Bridesmaids, How To Be Single and Super Fun Night), but she is also a naturally gifted comedienne and seems to have one-liners at the ready. Whether you catch her on Conan deadpanning about her grandmother’s jewelry, on Ellen deadpanning about rings that an inmate made for her, or dancing with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show, she’s not only funny but unabashedly herself. We dig that.

9 She Gives Really Solid Advice

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If you think about it, or take one peek on Pinterest, we all go around giving each other the same advice. “Do what you love”; "Be like Beyonce” etc etc. And the worst part of our cliched problem-solvers? We never follow them. Rebel, on the other hand, doesn’t only dish nuggets o’ inspo like, “You can choose real life or the gangster life” but she follows through in some super swag ways. Her accessories game is bling-tastic, she bought herself a boat and she’s in a secret club. Forget being Beyonce, that takes way too much effort and who can dance like she does? Rather, be a little Rebellious and take your own advice once in awhile.

8 She Doesn’t Take Herself Too Seriously

It doesn’t matter if you first jumped on the Rebel-train from her small but quirky role in Bridesmaids or her breakout role in Pitch Perfect, all that matters is that you’re on the train now. Here’s another reason why it’s the best train: Rebel Wilson is totally unafraid to poke fun at herself to make others laugh. Remember one of her first lines in Pitch Perfect? When asked why she calls herself Fat Amy, she replies, “Yea, so twig bitches like you don’t do it behind my back.” We have a feeling that’s Rebel. She’s as comfortable in an oversized tea pot or a leather jumpsuit as she is in a koala-printed tee and jeans. The only way to do that is to have a great sense of humor, perspective and confidence; three qualities she appears to have in troves!

7 She Won’t Let Hollywood’s Beauty Standards Get In Her Away

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At the MTV Movie Awards in 2015, Rebel stormed the stage decked in figure-hugging leather pants, brasserie and a giant pair of white wings channeling a Victoria's Secret model. As one of a few plus-size women in Hollywood, she’s happy to break a few beauty standards and nothing will get in her way. #sorrynotsorry. Speaking to Bustle afterward, she said, “Girls will pick Victoria's Secret models and think they have to model themselves after that. Even though they're called models, they might not be the best role models.” With her signature sass, Wilson slams the limited ideas of beauty that pervade our culture and gives us all permission to wear the crap out of a pair of giant (slightly terrifying) wings, if we want to.

6 She Won’t Let Her Shape Define Her Either

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Some cynical critics may argue that the only reason Rebel is popular is because she goes against the typical Hollywood grain, and that the only reason she’s funny is because of her size. Aca-scuse me?! Does she use her size to her advantage? All the time. In fact, she even told The Telegraph that when she was first starting out, she noticed that a girl who was larger than her was getting laughs easier. Her ambition led her to this thought: ‘How can I get more laughs? Maybe if I was a bit fatter…And then suddenly I was fatter, and doing comedy.” But she’s not about to let people reduce her to her size. (‘Cause isn’t that the exact thing we’ve been doing with thin female actresses as well?) As she told the Telegraph, “But I think my career is based more on my personality, so it doesn’t really matter.” Now, that’s hot.

5 She Is One Cool “Pitch”

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Whether she’s out and about wearing whatever the hell she pleases (think plaid pants with a cat t-shirt), breaking out of clothes cooler than any singer in concert in history, or simply replying to interview questions with her deadpan delivery, Rebel Wilson is one of the coolest people on the planet. Who else can away with wearing Koala jumpers? But some of our favorite examples of her her cool customer demeanor are from when she’s interviewed. In one, she told Ellen, “I’m really good at going to theme parks”, when asked what her secret talent was, and in another, she came up with one of the best taglines for Pitch Perfect 2 that a room full of writers and producers hadn’t thought of: The pitch is back.

4 She Takes The Most Perfect Photos

Last year while promoting the film, How To Be Single, a photographer surreptitiously took a photo of Wilson that would have been a throwaway for any other actress. But with Rebel it captured her appeal on all levels. She’s sporting her trademark massive grin, an #effyourbeautystandards dress as the title of the movie, “How To Be Single” directs our eyes toward her and a massive Burger King sign floating above her head. When she posted it on Twitter, she added the caption, “I feel like Burger King should make me their new spokesperson. “ And in case we haven’t hammered this point home enough; We want to be Rebel Wilson because “the pitch” is so cool. Her sense of humor never goes on vacation, her enthusiasm for life is infectious and she gets the importance of product placement.

3 She’s Ambitious AF

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Did you know that when she was a teen, Rebel developed a life-threatening bout of malaria? And while she was in the throes of it, she hallucinated she won an Oscar. "All I can remember is this hallucination where I was an actress winning an Oscar at the Academy Awards and, instead of doing an acceptance speech, I did an acceptance rap." (Oh man, we would give her that Oscar just to hear that rap!) Any other person would have forgotten all about the cuh-ray-zee fever dreams, but not our girl. “So, like, I have to transition into drama, because I can’t f---ing win an Oscar for Pitch Perfect 3, can I?” So what is she doing on her path to Oscartown? She’s set up her own production company, wrote her own material for the ABC show Super Fun Night and she’s set to appear in many more films next year.

2 She Is So Quotable

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One of the reasons that Pitch Perfect was such a massive hit was it unleashed a world of quotes that we can use over and over again. Rebel Wilson’s lines stand out by far. In a conundrum, you can always use, “Sometimes I think I can do crystal meth, but then I think, hmmm, better not.” Or when someone has wronged you, just whip out the best food threat of all time, “I’m going to finish him like cheesecake!” Feeling sentimental about your friends? Then there’s this beauty, “Even though some of you are pretty thin, you all have fat hearts, and that is what matters.” But her quotability doesn’t end there. Whichever film she appears in, she’s usually the character you’ll be quoting long after it’s over.

1 She Makes Us Say “Same” All The Time

Despite the fact she has more talent in her pinky than the rest of us #truthhurts, and despite her status as a Hollywood A-Lister, her glam appearances and the fact she gets to meet, befriend and flirt with the likes of Idris-holy-hotness-Elba, we also want to be her because she’s so damn relatable. If you follow her on social media or watch her interviews, you get the eerie feeling you and Rebel could be twinsies. Take her tweets, for instance, there’s the pretty standard fare of what she’s doing and where’s she going interspersed with gems like this, “having a bubble-bath, downloading Bachelorette, eating chocolate, online stalking ex's...yes I'm pretty sure I'm ready to film a rom-com x” Which one of us hasn’t been there and had that thought? So, the final reason we want to be Rebel Wilson is because in some weird, alternate universe, we already kinda are.

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