I’ve always been a sucker for Valentine’s Day. I love the hearts, the chocolate, the jewelry (obviously), and the anticipation of what just might be the perfect date with my perfect guy. But here’s the thing: In all my years, I can count on two fingers, Valentine’s Days that have lived up to my expectations. And quite frankly, one of them was simply with my BFF and involved multiple pitchers of sangria. The other? Well, that’s not exactly shop-talk if you know what I mean. The rest have been a bust, including mascara-stained tears, a car accident, and getting catfished before "catfishing" was a thing. More often than not, I’ve spent the most romantic day of the year alone, eating pizza or cupcakes (usually both), and watching reruns of SATC. So this year, I'm boycotting the whole damn thing. Because who needs a specific day of the year to celebrate love? Not me. Here are 15 reasons why having a Valentine is actually over-rated AF.
15 Have You Seen The Price Of Flowers On V-Day?
Whether you are a guy looking to treat your lucky lady, or you are a lucky lady who wants to treat herself, the influx on flower prices on Valentine’s Day, is quite frankly, out of this world. More expensive than an Uber on New Year’s Eve, the cost of roses will be sure to break your bank. And then, after you've spent your hard-earned cash on said flowers, they will likely die in a sad vase two days later because they have been thoroughly man-handled in a delivery truck full of thousands of more over-priced roses two days prior. IMHO, You’re better off waiting 'til the day after and getting an actual beautiful bouquet for a price that won’t bankrupt you. Better yet, pick some wildflowers and put them in a mason jar. They’ll last longer, and they’re free.
14 And Then There’s The Exorbitant Price Of Chocolate
Speaking of inflation. Have you noticed how chocolate prices soar leading up to Valentine’s Day? I’m always appalled when I go into my local grocery or drug store, and I’m barraged with shelves upon shelves of delicious chocolates (I’m a serious chocolate fiend) only to find, upon closer inspection, that that delicious looking Toblerone bar actually costs ONE MILLION DOLLARS because #VDAY. Sorry, what? It’s robbery if you ask me. That said, there is a silver lining. If you can hold out long enough, the second February 15th rolls around, those exorbitantly priced sugar-filled goodies drop to well below even normal prices. Because there’s a ton of red and pink and heart-shaped things that stores are looking to move fast, you can snatch up all of your favorite treats for well below cost. Thank me later, k?
13 It’s Like, Really Confusing These Days
Is it just me or is this whole Valentine’s Day thing like, really confusing these days? I remember way back when—in the good old days of elementary school—where February 14th meant bringing cupcakes into your classroom, getting sugar high, and dropping secret love notes off at your crush’s desk or locker. Oh, how the times have changed. Now it’s like, you’re not even sure if you have a special someone because you’re only in the, “we’re talking” phase. And you don’t want to come on too strong by asking the said someone to "hang out" on THE MOST ROMANTIC DAY OF THE YEAR, because you’re totally playing it cool. But also, the whole reason you even started "talking" to this someone back in January, was so that you could secure yourself a date on Valentine's Day and avoid having to hit the singles mixer for the third year in a row. Ugh. It's all so confusing.
12 The Expectations Are Impossibly High
Blame it on social media and the frenzy of “happy couples” publicly displaying their affection for all the world to see. Blame it on rom-coms that have undoubtedly set the Valentine’s bar way too fricken high with the over the top proposals, 1000 roses (I don’t even want to know how much money 1000 roses would cost), diamond jewelry, and the list goes on. Blame it on the media and mass-marketing that tells us exactly how much money we need to spend in order to prove our love. Blame it on any single one of these things, or all of them combined. It’s clear to any sound-minded individual that the expectations that come along with Valentine’s Day are impossibly high. How is anyone supposed to keep up with it all? Even worse, why do we feel so bad when we know the expectations are too high and yet we still feel ripped off when we only get a card? Something’s not right, here.
11 It’s Straight Up Stressful
Anyone who has ever had a real significant other—not just someone with whom you’re “talking” to—knows first hand that actually having a “Valentine” on Valentine’s Day is straight up stressful. More often than not, February 14th falls on a weekday, which means on top of all your normal weekday priorities like going to school or work, and getting exercise and finding time to get dressed and feed yourself; you also have to worry about making plans for the most romantic day of the year. It gets worse. Chances are, because of this way over-hyped holiday, reservations are booked out weeks in advance, things like chocolate, roses, and champagne are likely way over-priced, and don’t even bother trying to book a stay at a fancy hotel—all of the nice ones have been fully booked for months, and motels are out of the question unless you’re trying to break up with someone.
10 Teddy Bears
I’ve never understood this one. It’s like, someone just decided one day that the thing every fully-grown woman who has successfully gone through puberty and managed to find love in this world needs is a stuffed teddy bear holding a heart sewn between its teddy bear hands that says, “I Love You” on it. Sorry, huh? Like, what am I supposed to do with this thing? And who, exactly loves me? The teddy bear? Perfect, all my dreams have come true. Except, not at all. Seriously, take your creepy teddy bears and leave. I don’t know what to do with them except for giving them to my dog as a chew toy. Except that would require me to have to get a dog. Something I’m definitely not against, just don’t really have time for in my twenties. So I revert back to my previous statement. Teddy bears are not an appropriate gift for any woman who has gone through puberty.
9 Love Should Be Celebrated Every Day Of The Year
If you do happen to be in a committed relationship, it is easy to get caught up in the red-washed allure of Valentine’s Day. But why should celebrating your love be reserved for one over-hyped, commercialized, and expensive day of the year? If you’ve got love in your life— the romantic kind, the friendship kind, the family kind, any kind—that deserves to be celebrated, every damn day of the year, am I right? Take the stigma out of February 14th, and choose love every day. Come home with flowers in March. Treat your loves to chocolate weekly. Go on a romantic getaway in June. Make a candle-lit reservation in September. There are so many ways to show your love any and every day of the year.
8 There’s This Crazy Little Thing Called (Self) Love Going Around
In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in the midst of a self-love revolution. Loving yourself is trendy AF these days, and I’m digging it. Whether you are happily committed in a romantic relationship, or one of Beyonce’s single ladies, when February 14th rolls around, don’t forget to treat yourself. Because, over half way through this list, I think we've already established that having a Valentine is over-rated, might I suggest you be your own Valentine this year? Plan a date with yourself where you can binge on Netflix (and pizza and chocolate and wine) guilt-free. Take it from the Biebs when he says, "you should go and love yourself." (Whether or not he was implying a sentiment of self-love, we'll never know. But it's good advice, nonetheless.)
7 Is It Just Me Or Does It Sometimes Feel Like Everyone Is Just Showing Off?
Scroll through any one of your multiple social media accounts on Valentine's Day, and it sort of feels like one big humblebrag from everyone you know (and also everyone you don't know). Like, are we celebrating Valentine’s Day solely so we can post about how many secret admirers we have, how many roses were delivered to our doorsteps, and how big our teddy bears are? (You already know how I feel about teddy bears.) Sorry, but no thanks. We get it, you’re loved, but bragging about it is probably the least classy thing you could do. Honestly, if you want my advice, maybe just ignore all forms of social media come February 14th. It’s for your own good, I swear. Nothing on there will make you feel happy or good about yourself.
6 The Pressure Is On
If you do in fact opt to take on a Valentine’s Day date this year, consider yourself warned: the pressure is on. There’s so much stigma attached to the most romantic day of the year and so much expectation that comes with the date night. And I’m not just talking about the fancy dinner, heartfelt card, wine, and chocolates. I’m talking about the sexy negligee you’ll be expected to don beneath your outfit if you’re a girl. I’m talking about the foreplay you’ll be expected to deliver on if you’re a guy. I’m talking about the beneath the sheets pressure there is to put out—despite the fact that you’ve likely just eaten your body weight in chocolates, and the rich food combined with the wine is making you feel, I don’t know, a little bit icky. You’re going to have to get over it. Because happy endings are always expected on V-day.
5 You Might Get Yourself Stuck
Committing to a Valentine’s Day date puts you in dangerous territory. Unless you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, it’s probably best to just stay away from V-Day dates altogether. Here’s why: If you agree to a Valentine’s Day date, you are knowingly signing on for all the stigma, all the stress, and all the pressure that comes along with one of the most overrated days of the year. And knowingly signing on for all that trouble kind of gets you, well, stuck. Like, unless something really horrible happens on your Valentine’s Day date, you can’t really just ghost the next day. Not after someone has just spent their precious time, money and weekly calorie allowance on you and your stupid chocolates. So, unless you plan on sticking it out for the long haul with whoever your V-Day suitor is, take it from me and skip this February 14th.
4 Have I Mentioned The Money Thing, Yet?
Okay, so I know I’ve already discussed the exorbitant prices of flowers and chocolate leading up to Valentine’s Day. But that’s not all you have to figure into your budget. Have you bought a card lately? They are at least $5 these days. Dinner for two at a fancy restaurant? Probably around $50 if you’re not drinking, and more if you factor in the wine or cocktails. Maybe you want to treat your S.O. to a relaxing couples massage. That will be another $100 at the bare minimum. A hotel room for the night? Forget it. The affordable ones are already sold out; you’ll need to spend at least another couple hundred to stay anywhere nice. Nevermind getting your love an actual physical gift like the jewelry she’s probably expecting. Time to take out a loan.
3 Do We Really Need To Continue Empowering Gender Stereotypes?
There’s a common misconception that February 14 is the single day of the year for men to prove how much they love their lady by showering her with over the top gifts (ahem....teddy bears), over-priced flowers, and enough chocolates to induce a sugar-coma. Meanwhile, it’s expected that the ladies of these men should just sit around, waiting to be doted on, and treated by these men breaking their backs over their women. Now normally, I would have no problem at all with this situation. Honestly, I kind of like the sounds it. Except for that it reinforces the idea that men are dominant over women and that the women should be grateful to be loved by such men. Sorry, but I’m not buying it. Avoid this misconception altogether by just saying “No” to Valentine’s Day, and finding other, more creative ways to tell your loved ones that you love them.
2 Wouldn’t You Rather Treat Yourself?
Picture this. You know all that money you were going to spend on an extravagant Valentine’s Day date with that person you are just sort of “seeing” or “hanging out with” or “talking to” but that you are not totally sure about yet? Take it, and put that cold-hard cash towards something you actually want for yourself. New shoes? Treat yo’ self! Yoga membership? Get it, girl! That new Xbox game your parents refuse to buy for you because you are supposed to be a grown up? It’s yours if you want it! Valentine’s Day is supposed to be all about love, so celebrate it with some good ol’ fashion self-loving and treat yourself to something you wouldn’t normally buy for yourself. Trust us, your date will understand.
1 This Sort Of Freedom Only Comes Once A Year
On February 14th, while everyone is thoroughly busy getting engulfed in the most overrated day of the year, you can take a much-needed break to silence the noise and do whatever the heck you want with your no-strings-attached night. Like ordering in (stuffed crust) pizza and binge-watching your new favorite series on Netflix. Okay, so maybe you can experience this sort of freedom any day of the year you want, but there’s something very liberating about straight up boycotting one of the most highly commercialized, money-grabbing "holidays" the western world has ever seen. Somehow, it feels more rebellious. More gratifying. Don't just take it from me. I double-dare you to try it for yourself this year. If this list hasn't convinced you of its glory yet, well, then I don't know what will.