There are often times in our day where we feel inadequate, embarrassed or are aware that we just plain look dumb. All of us experience such hurtin’ moments—even Mensa geniuses and people with perfect hair! We, as people, all know the random horror of seeing unflattering photos of ourselves online; or that sinking feeling of losing a stupid argument we’re engaged in; or even that surprise pain when we step on a Lego piece in the middle of the night. Yes, life presents us regularly and randomly with petty annoyances, unsatisfied yearnings or times of just feeling vulnerable and downright stupid. It’s only human! Here are 15 hurtin’ memes to celebrate (or to commiserate!) those random, awkward moments in life.
15 You can't always get what you want
But you get what you need. That’s how the song goes, right? Is there some item you remember from your past that you once saw in a store and soooo regretted not getting? A new kayak, bracelet, skirt or jacket? You saw this shining, unaffordable diamond through a shop window and it shone like Pharrell Williams’ million dollar bling. You’ve been haunted ever since by how different your life might be had you sprung for it. Would so-and-so have dated me if I wore that jacket? Would I now be a castaway on some remote desert island with only a blood-streaked volleyball for company if I ran that kayak I once yearned for aground on distant shores? You’ll never know!
14 The downside of tender tootsies
Ever found it strange that feet are such a sensitive part of our bodies? They should be totally calloused by now and tough as armadillo shells and ready to spit nails since they’ve taken all our weight throughout our lives and have quite literally been with us every step of the way, through thick and thin. Our feet should be the baddest-ass part of us, and yet they’re always so sensitive! How is this so? They must be full of tender nerves and vulnerable Reiki points and whatnot because whenever we stub our toe or stumble onto a pesky stray Lego piece in the middle of the night on our way to the can, it hurts like hell and ow!—it’s enough to make us cry!
13 Feeling like a lame-o at the crosswalk
Don’t we all feel vulnerable waiting to cross the street as streams of four-wheeled tons of metal speed past us? All you want is that double salted caramel mochaccino topped with soy foam that’s screaming your name from the Starbucks across that busy road. So you push the crosswalk button, (feeling totally uncool because cool people jaywalk), and wait for the drivers to stop, but some still approach kind of fast like they don’t see you waiting and maybe don’t see the crosswalk light flashing and you don’t want to put your hand out like some idiot from the olden days making hand signals so you hope to God all cars will stop as you hustle across the street as if your life depends on it.
12 Ohhh...ahhh...oh, no
Fun family movie night should mean quality time and lots of laughs, right? Well, it still means that, but sometimes the ugly specter of awkwardness—even on such pleasant and casual evenings with those nearest and dearest to us—rears its cringe-inducing head. Few things are more painfully awkward than sitting beside your grandma, grandpa or ancient great aunt Delta when good times on the screen start going horizontal and there’s a whole lot of moaning going on. And then great aunt Delta can’t see what the hell’s going on because she needs new glasses and since she doesn’t hear so well, starts asking in a really loud voice: “What? What are they doing? What are they saying?” And this is when you excuse yourself to go stare into the fridge.
11 Wetting the bed won't fly at your age
It’s so nice every night making bedtime preparations. This is when it’s time to chill, be quiet, relax and unwind. Have a glass of wine, soak in a nice bubble bath, play soft music, pull the shades down, kiss your boo goodnight, snuggle under the covers and realize you forgot one essential component of your shutting-down-for-the night routine: that’s right, you forgot to pee before adjusting your eye-shield and climbing under your warm bwankies. And now—for the love of bejesus—you have to get up again, feel the cold bathroom tiles under your feet (because you accidentally left your slippers in the living room) just when you thought you wouldn’t have to feel that chill again for another seven or eight hours. Argh!
10 Sometimes, we scare ourselves
Have you ever been surprised when you see yourself? Like in close up where you don’t even recognize it’s you at first and wonder, "who’s that stranger?" This isn’t a moment, either, where you think “gawd, I’m beautiful!” No. That’s never the reaction. It’s "why the hell is this stranger’s face all up in my camera? Either someone stole my phone and took their picture without me noticing or I must have inadvertently snapped a picture of a stranger the way people accidentally butt dial someone." And then the horror of realization that this beastly close-up is of you sets in as you pull away for the whole face shot to recognize yourself and you’re defeated because—hey—you really, secretly thought you were better looking than that.
9 OMG, take it all down!
Will we ever be satisfied with our looks? Who is this Narcissus guy, anyway, madly in love with himself? We don’t know anyone like that! Sometimes, as an older person, you enjoy seeing a picture of your young self when you had it goin’ on. Of course, back in your youth when you actually had it goin’ on and were all bootylicious head to toe, you truly thought you were hideous. Oh, the irony! We should just be allowed to choose the images we want to share all the time forever—the ones where we were having a good hair, face and fashion day with no unflattering angles that make us look like a plastic surgeon’s "before" picture or like we’re melting or something. That would be awesome.
8 'A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's heaven for?'
That’s a quote from poet Robert Browning. Not to get all philosophical, but sometimes when our reach isn’t long enough to grasp what we want, we feel pretty stupid, like when we’re trying to get that bag of speciality rice off the top shelf at the supermarket so we can make paella, but have to look around for a tall, friendly-looking person to ask if they could grab it for us, or go find a clerk and make them drag out a little ladder from their back room, or we can look like the pathetic kid in the school yard who all the bullies have surrounded and are playing Keep Away with their stuff while they try, try, try and reach it themselves. Such dignified moments!
7 Here's what happens when you forget to set your alarm
It’s too easy to forget to set your alarm. You have confidence you’ll wake up in time. What usually happens is that you’re so excited about whatever it is you have to get up for the next morning that you wind up staying awake from agitation and anticipation until the birds start chirping outside and then fall into a dead slumber that takes you right past the early hour you needed to get up at if things were really going your way (and they won't always go your way—so remember to set that alarm!) Once you wake up, it’s really much like this adorable dog who’s peacefully sleeping as the camera zooms in, wakens suddenly, looks startled and clearly seems to be asking itself, "what in the hell?!"
6 A hangover on several levels
Okay, so you had fun on the weekend—and why not? You deserve to indulge yourself sometimes! And what’s the fun of indulging yourself alone? You must share your extravagances! Bottles of champagne on you, rounds for everyone, tickets and door charges—check and check—you’ll cover all expenses paid and make like Daddy Warbucks until the party’s over. A cab here, an Uber there, a stretch limo rented on impulse to get home in style. Sending a dozen long-stemmed roses to every single lady you know to be delivered Monday morning was a nice touch. Yes, indeed, good times were had by all—but now...now to deal with your throbbing head, heaving stomach and the draining away of all your funds.
5 There goes my Donald Duck impression
There’s something whimsical and fun about helium balloons. Of course, you can never resist breathing the helium in to speak in cartoon voices—it’s a surefire ice breaker and time waster until the balloon deflates and you have to go back toe your regular, boring, monotone voice—like Dorothy losing her magical ruby slippers. To lose one—to let one loose outside and fly away into the clouds without anyone having an opportunity to do their Donald Duck impressions—it’s a tragedy. It fills you with wonder to see it fly away for what could have been. Fly away, fun balloon that takes us octaves away from our everyday larynx. Fly into the clouds to be with the birds, airplanes, stars and Superman, long lost balloon.
Don’t you hate it when someone says they’ve heard a lot about you? Doesn’t that make you ask yourself, "Like…what?" because really, what’s there to say? What have they heard? What are other people saying about you? One of many things we surely can’t control are the impressions and interpretations other people have of us. What if this someone who’s been talking about you has got it all wrong? The only place you’re okay with those words coming from anyone’s mouth, really, are if they come from your bae’s parents’ mouths, or something, because of course your boo’s going to make you sound like Prince Charming or Mother Teresa, or someone like them for their sake. Hearing those same words from anyone else? Ugh, no!
3 Well now that you mention it
Say you work in a large open office with cubicles and there’s a recurring, unaccounted-for fart stank afoot with no one claiming responsibility, though there’s speculation as to who the culprit is, and one of your colleagues jokingly accuses you (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) of being the Fart Fugitive (as your coworkers have dubbed the stinky ninja) and of course you are at fault (damn burritos!), but in no way are you going to admit to your true and shameful identity, so you remain composed and joke, "No, it’s you," and then you both laugh, seeming confident in your assured knowledge that neither of you are truly the fugitive farter. But inside, you’re suppressing a forceful "arrgh!" at the stress of being even playfully called out. You will not talk!
2 Mic drop with fruit bowl
Is there anything more frustrating than getting into a dumb argument with someone and losing? You go in all blustery and passionate and sure you’re gonna open up an intellectual can of whoop-ass on them but, whoops!—they come on stronger and smarter than you thought they could and unfortunately, you don’t have all your facts down. Then you start to feel like you can’t even match wits with your pet hamster—or worse, that your opponent is smarter than you. As the argument goes on, you feel your IQ sinking into the negative numbers, and since you don’t actually know what you’re talking about and they’re winning, you tip over a fruit bowl and walk away like you just dropped the mic to cover up the d’oh!
Sometimes, we pour our hearts into our correspondence with others and take our time in crafting thoughtful responses or sentiments for them before we press "send." Of course, in that case, we can only hope that everyone we pour our verbiage out to will respond in kind, though there’s always that monosyllabic moron who’s stuck for an answer if you ask them simple questions like where they live or where they’re going. And this world of texting has not done anything to help them become this bubbling fountain of conversation that you are. So when they text back a one letter answer to your voluminous tome of a text, you feel so frustrated that you want to throw your damn phone against a concrete wall!