There are few things more innocent than anime. There's just something about these Japanese cartoons that screams nostalgia. Between the big-eyed Pokémon, the monster-summoning card games (remember Yu-Gi-Oh!?) and the moon-triggered giant monkeys (good ol' Dragon Ball Z), for many people, anime is the very definition of childhood. So of course, the internet decided to take that innocence we all love about anime and twist it beyond all recognition. How, you ask? Well, inappropriate AF memes, of course. It seems that the internet is determined to leave no aspect of our childhoods untouched by perversion. It already took Disney and SpongeBob. And now, you'll never look at anime the same. You're welcome.
Here are 15 inappropriate anime memes that will ruin your childhood.
15 Squirtle in all the wrong places
No, not the starter Pokémon! Those little guys accompanied us through every battle, boss and training gym! Of all the Pokémon, at the very least, they deserve to retain their big-eyed innocence. But alas, the internet is not so kind. And to be honest, with a name like Squirtle, this little water-squirting turtle was kind of asking for it. We're not saying this adorable little beauty deserves to be perverted by inappropriate teenage meme-makers. But he certainly made it easy. Kind of like Muk. We mean, given that the snake-like Ekans Pokémon's name is just 'snake' spelled backwards, then the origin of Muk's name is probably a little more inappropriate than we all realized back in the good ol' toddler days. Adulthood can be a foul beast, sometimes.
14 A loose screw
Sometimes, you have to wonder if they do it on purpose. Like, with most of their time spent animating 2D pseudo-monsters and writing sub-par plots for a children's TV show, the writers for Pokémon have to get their kicks from somewhere. So why not hide little disturbing Easter eggs for those viewers with a more observant and/or dirty mind? And this would certainly count as one of those. Between that overly satisfied look on that girl's face and the large bead of sweat rolling down poor little Magnemite's face (we assume that's its face... and we assume that's sweat), once you've seen it, it's kind of hard not to see this scene as a raunchy sex-toy extravaganza. Ah, Pokémon. It's truly the gift that keeps on giving.
Well, this would certainly be efficient. Instead of lugging around your portable charger or laptop, you could just stash a tiny little Pokéball in your pocket as a backup power source. Then, when your battery descended to the dangerously low levels, you could just pull out your Pokéball, summon Pikachu, and plug 'er in. Sure, some might argue that using your electric Pokémon to charge your various technologies might be an abuse of Pokémon rights. And we get it. It's not exactly in the job description for Pokémon to have plugs stuck into their sphincters. But judging from the look on Pikachu's face, he's not not enjoying it. In fact, rather than non-non-enjoyment, we'd judge that expression as bemused ecstasy. So we'd say it's a win-win situation.
12 It's all in the context
This should be the anthem of memes everywhere. Screw context when you can just look at a scene like this and divine your own plot, which would probably beat out the original story of the episode anyways. Especially when it comes to anime shows. We mean, we loved these shows throughout our childhood, but they do get a little tough to watch as you get older. There are only so many repetitive Team Rocket schemings an adult mind can take (and there are only so many scenes with Wobbuffet you can watch before your brain will literally explode). So, to us 20-somethings who grew up on Pokémon, there are few things more joyful than when our favourite cheesy anime shows are rewritten with an eye on the adult audience. Like all the abridged anime shows on YouTube. Or ridiculously inappropriate memes like this one.
11 Decks everywhere
What is it about cartoons that draws the attention of the dirty mind? It's kind of like taking a piss on a garden of violets. Or writing an article about inappropriate anime memes while sitting in a university library. There's something strangely appealing about taking something that's pure and corrupting beyond physical recognition. Which is probably why this meme has lent its perverted touch to only the innocent anime cartoon Yu-Gi-Oh!, but also to the purity of Disney's Toy Story. Originally, it was Buzz and Woody staring into the distance, musing over the presence of "D*cks Everywhere." And now, it's Yugi and Joey. Sorry, our little animated friends, but when it comes to inappropriate memes, it seems that you will not be catching a break.
10 Face-down position
Although all us Yu-Gi-Oh! nerds know what this phrase really means, looking at that nefariously determined expression on the Pharaoh's face, it's not too far a stretch to imagine it another way. He just looks a little bit too excited to be talking about a card game (AKA what everyone everywhere always says the first time they watch Yu-Gi-Oh!). Those arched brows and that knowing glint in his eyes are the easiest of prey for the perverted meme-maker's mind. And honestly, we wouldn't entirely mind if the Pharaoh were to say this to us. We're pretty sure we weren't the only ones with a minor crush on him throughout our childhoods. There's just something irresistibly sexy about that gravity defying hair.
9 Giant hairy, big-eyed balls
Kuriboh was one of those Duel Monsters that inspired a lot of confused feelings. Somehow, it's simultaneously creepy and unbelievably adorable. Its big eyes and fluffiness scream "cuddle me," but those weird little monster claws are a bit too scratchy to qualify as cuddly. Not to mention whatever unforetold horrors await beneath that all-encompassing coat of shaggy fur. Kind of like Cousin Itt from The Addams Family, this little guy could be hiding God-knows-what beneath its overcoat of hair. After a good shaving, it could be anything from a little sphere of flesh to a freakin' gremlin that's waiting beneath those Wookie-like robes, and judging from the green paws, our bets would lean towards the latter of the two. So, given the choice, we'd take the Dark Magician any day over an army of these mysterious little hairy mofos.
Well, for the public record, we're going to say that we have no idea what this feels like. But we certainly understand the feeling they're talking about in reference to other, more innocent (and publicly writable) things. Like a Netflix show you really like, for one. You're watching an episode at 1 a.m. and you feel your eyelids descending like a dark curtain. Between the sodas you've been lifting to your face all day and all the other shows you've had to hold your torso up to watch, you're exhausted, and you don't think you can take another episode. So you resign yourself to your fate and decide to head to bed after the end credits roll. Then, of course, there's a chilling AF cliffhanger. You power-up your eyes, channel the adrenaline and push onward, knowing it will pay off in the long run. Basically the same thing, right?
7 Little green pill
For humans, the infamous little blue pill is more than enough to do the trick. But when it comes to butt-kicking, other-worldly Super Saiyans, no human-made pharmaceutical is gonna cut it. When the bad guys are calling for another round, these monkey men need something with a heck of a lot more kick in it to get their energy reserves soaring again. No, rather than a little blue pill, they need a supplement in its own category, worthy of their super-human strength. They need the infamous Senzu Beans, grown by Korin, which restore the strength of the person who ingests them to their full levels. Although the show never went into detail about these supplements restoring anything other than fighting strength, if you know what we mean, we're guessing these little miracle beans restore vitality in all categories. Lucky Chi Chi.
6 Heart attacks for Christmas
Although it was meant for a younger audience, sometimes Death Note didn't really feel like a children's animation. Between the gruesome murders, the dark tone and the terrifying clown-like gods that followed the characters around, it wasn't exactly conducive to pleasant dreams at night. Plus, after watching it, it's kind of hard not to wonder whether it could be possible for some guy sitting in a room somewhere to judge our right to live or die. If not someone with a Death Note, then maybe some Dexter-like serial killer taking justice into their own hands, or a particularly dark vigilante, like the Punisher from Marvel. Sure, a good, harsh talking-to can do its trick with children, but make them watch Death Note and you may be surprised how their behaviour straightens out over night.
5 The weak spot and/or sphincter
Until now, we saw no way in which Attack On Titan could improve. Between its epic AF battle scenes, the tight-knit group of weirdo friends and the ever-present threat of being gnawed to death by a humongous, baby-like Titan lacking a butthole, it was everything we ever wanted in an anime show. But this meme has awakened us to the fact that there is one way in which Attack On Titan could up its game, and that's a**hole blade-jamming. Or, to be more anatomically correct, jamming-of-the-blade-in-the-rear-end-of-the-Titan-so-as-to-make-an-a**hole. Because, as all good nerds should know, Titans don't actually have a**holes. That's right—they're eating humans not because they have a digestive system to satiate. No, they're munching on us for the pure fun of it. Again, not much of a kids' show.
4 Gotta catch 'em all
Before seeing this meme, when you heard the classic Pokémon theme song we all know and love, you probably thought about all the wonderful Pokémon Ash and his friends tried to catch throughout the series. Maybe Pikachu crossed your mind, with its big, mouse-like face (is it a mouse? Or a cat? We never really could tell). Or maybe you started seeing a bunch of Bulbasaurs trot across your vision like a majestic parade of dogs wearing helmets on their backs (let's be honest—that's what they basically are). There are endless other Pokémon we don't even know the names of that you could have been reminiscing about, but we're pretty sure we know what you weren't thinking about—STDs. But now that you've seen this meme, good luck thinking about anything else.
3 One way or another
Well, we appreciate the determination, Blastoise, but we'll take a very hard pass on that. We like to consider ourselves to be open-minded people, but we kind of draw the line at giant cannon-backed turtles with strangely hungry looks on their faces. As much as we love Pokémon, we don't quite love you that much. We'd trust you in battle against our greatest foes. We'd trust in your ability to help us make a name for ourselves at our local gym. And we'd even traverse beautifully animated fields with you by our side to the tune of annoyingly catchy soundtrack music. But that's pretty much all we're down for. We love Pokémon, but just not in that way (except for Ninetails—that thing is weirdly sexy).
2 Manly mini-skirts
We're not sure what this meme is talking about. Has there ever been a man in a mini-skirt who wasn't drop dead sexy? Think about it. There's Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show, who rocks not only a mini-skirt, but also nylons, a full face of makeup and stiletto heels all while exuding a sexy, manly charm that even the most staunchly square of us wouldn't be able to resist. There are the Spartans, who wore skirt-like bottoms to war because of their maneuverability. And there's no way in hell the Spartans weren't hot AF (have you seen 300?). And then there's the wolf-demon tribe, ripping off all that sex-appeal these skirt-pioneers worked to build and passing it off as their own. Puh-leez. Minis have been sexy for as long as we can remember, and the wolf-demon tribe is most certainly not the first group of men to embrace the sexiness of the skirt.
1 Anime avengers
Sorry, Sasuke, but you don't just get to up and decide you've joined the Avengers. You need to, like, be invited, like Iron Man, the Hulk and Captain America. Or drop down on top of a S.H.I.E.L.D. aeroplane like Thor. Or fight against them and prove your worth before changing sides mid-war, like Scarlet Witch. Or be a sidekick of one of the main Avengers, like Falcon and War Machine. Or become a vigilante YouTube star, like Spider-Man. Or steal a vital piece of Avengers technology right out from under their noses, like Ant Man. Okay, we suppose you don't really need to get invited. But at the very least, you have to be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which, last we checked, you most certainly are not. So, find a wormhole, or stay in your own damn lane, Sasuke.