According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of sarcasm is: "a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual." It's a special brand of humor that not everyone always gets. It also takes a certain kind of flair and sense of humor to say or post something with sarcasm that will make everyone laugh, but also see the bitterness behind the words. Successful, sarcastic people own the Internet, and a lot of them live on Tumblr. We looked for the most sarcastic posts we could find on that site, just so we could share that wonderful biting wit with you. Enjoy. And if you don't get it, sarcasm is probably not for you.
15 What makes up the universe?
When contemplating our existence and the meaning of life, the universe and everything, the answer isn't always just 42 (see The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy). Sarcastic people, though, would use this statement from Tumblr because it's probably the most truthful thing out there. Sure, it's insulting, but there are probably more morons in the universe than there are protons, neutrons and electrons combined. It's funny, yes. It's harsh, yes. But it's also true. We also like that it rhymes with the other words. Tumblr never disappoints with the sarcasm and like this, it's often way on point. We're laughing, but we're also crying because it makes us sad to realize just how many stupid people make up the world we live in. Thanks for the reminder, Tumblr.
14 What's self-esteem?
If you are a woman, you know that the struggle is real when it comes to finding pants with pockets. For some reason, there is this weird sexism thing going on where clothing designers think that women don't have a use for real pockets (although we really do). Or even worse, clothing designers will put in the ubiquitous fake pocket, which looks like a real pocket, but has absolutely no utilitarian use. What is up with that? So this sarcastic post makes us laugh out loud, but also makes us say same. It outlines the struggle of pants pockets on women's jeans, but at the same time, it compares it to the low self-esteem that many of us have. That's sarcasm at its finest and most self-deprecating.
Feelings are something that we all have and, sometimes, something we wish we did not have. Feelings make us laugh, yes, which is always nice. But more often it makes us cry, makes us angry, makes us want to stick our head out the window and scream at the top of our lungs in frustration. Most feelings are things that maybe we wish we didn't have to deal with on a regular basis. So this sarcastic Tumblr post taps into that feeling and says that we've tried the whole feelings thing and maybe it's just not for us. It's the wording, though, that makes it so funny, like having the opportunity to experience the emotional roller coaster is somehow a test for a job. Sometimes it feels like it.
12 Friendship perks
Awkward people often resort to sarcasm because it's really the only way they can relate to the world around them. And sometimes, you just have to put that out there for future friends to see so they know that they can't always take you seriously. Because sarcastic people will make statements that seem harsh, but really, they're just sarcastic. But there are other perks of being friends with a sarcastic person, too. Many can spout random facts about horticulture, obsolete languages, science fiction TV of the 1970s and other useless, yet interesting, facts. They probably also have a cat and will make sure you get photos texted to you of that cat on a regular basis. They're also good listeners (although there's a sarcastic retort on the tip of their tongue).
11 Rehearsal dinner
Sometimes, sarcasm just can't help itself because certain situations arise that makes it so perfect for the moment. That's because sometimes we have names for things that sound really weird, especially if you think about them. In this case, Chandler from Friends, is asking about the rehearsal dinner. What does that even mean? Yes, we get it, it means you have to rehearse for the wedding and it's the dinner after, but why is it called that? Wouldn't the words "post-rehearsal dinner" make more sense? So here is Chandler using his biting sarcasm and wit to challenge those two words "rehearsal dinner." We're with you, Chandler. Dinner is not something we usually have to rehearse for either. We also rarely practice our meals before we eat.
10 Cup of care
There are Tumblr accounts dedicated to nothing but sarcastic statements. That's how great sarcasm is. That's how funny sarcasm is. Here's a post from one such account that talks about the "cup of care." And in typical sarcastic fashion, that cup of care is empty. That's funny, right? For those who don't get it, this is a sarcastic way of the poster saying they don't care. And they're saying it in a way that we can imagine had them rolling their eyes and staring at someone right in the eyes as they say it. This is a funny burn that was done very well. It's also something we'll use in the future "here's my cup of care, and oh, look, it's empty." Feel the burn!
9 The Earth is both round and flat
Believe it or not, there are people in this world that still refuse to believe that the Earth is round. These people believe that the Earth is flat, in spite of mounting evidence that proves that the Earth is actually a sphere. I mean, we have photos taken from outer space showing a round Earth. But those flat Earth folks will still argue with everyone else that they're right and we're all wrong and that those photos of the round Earth are fake. You can't account for stupid, apparently. So this post tackles that debate (as if there really were a valid debate there to begin with). This will satisfy everyone, right? This sarcastic photo should please everyone: there, the Earth is both round and flat. Moving on...
8 National Sarcasm Society
We love this statement because it pretty much sums up what sarcasm is in the first place. Sarcasm is a sharp and bitter cutting remark or statement, often made with derision. So it would make sense that the National Sarcasm Society would have a motto that sums it up perfectly: "like we need your support." This was posted to Tumblr and pretty much tells us everything we know about sarcasm. Sarcasm also usually uses opposites to convey meaning, which can confuse those not well-versed in the art. We, though, totally get it. Although, we're rolling our eyes and saying that we totally don't get it, because sarcasm, right? Don't worry, we're okay, in spite of the gaping wound in our heart. We're fine. We're totally fine.
7 Exercising my fingers
There is nothing more annoying than sending a text message to a family or friend member and not getting a reply back within an expected time frame. We should not have to wait hours to receive a reply to the text message, "What's up?" (See what we did there? Sarcasm.). This Tumblr post summed that up in a different way, though, stating that the text was only sent because of a need to exercise fingers. This, as well as our own example, offer up a good explanation of what it means when one is sarcastic. But we still get really annoyed when people don't text us right back because we've got better things to do, right? So when we say "What's up?" you better answer us quickly!
6 Someone cares
This sarcastic post starts out with a very nice statement. The world is harsh and sometimes we feel like no one cares about us. And so this post plays into that. It tells us right off the bat that someone cares. And it's true, someone probably does. But what makes it so perfectly funny and sarcastic is the rest of the post. "I want you to know that someone cares. Not me, but someone." That's funny because it suggests that the person who wrote the post is very sarcastic and the kind of person we want to hang out with. They're probably hilarious (are we being sarcastic there, or not?). But we love this post because it made us laugh. It's cruel, yes, but most sarcasm often is.
This post pokes fun of people who are from Canada. Maybe you don't have any Canadian friends, but surely, you've seen some TV shows or a movie made in or about Canada. Maybe you spent part of your childhood obsessed with Degrassi, and if that's so, you'll get this piece of sarcasm that pokes fun at Justin Bieber and Canada. It turns out that Bieber actually is Canadian, and what's one thing we have heard Canadians say a lot? Sorry. But they say it kind of weird, like "soar-y." And we can't unhear it if we heard it a million times on Degrassi. Canadians do say "sorry" a lot, although we're not entirely sure why. Are they sorry because they are Canadian? That makes sense, right?
4 Did you fall from heaven?
Pick-up lines are generally pretty bad, to begin with. They're never well-thought out, they're rarely clever, and they're usually something we've already heard a million times. Take the one pick-up line that we've heard over and over, "Did you fall from heaven?" Usually, though, the follow-up to that is something about you being an angel or goddess or something else that is just way over the top. Seriously, who writes this stuff? We like this sarcastic pick-up line better that follows up the "Did you fall from heaven?" with "so did Lucifer." That's funny, right? Get it? Lucifer also fell from heaven and now he's a red beast thing with horns on his head and hooves for feet. It's like a put-down, rather than a pick-up.
3 Dodged that bullet
Wine is good, right? Why would anyone give it up? Sometimes people say they plan on giving up alcohol, either for diet reasons or for mental health reasons. But some of us would need that bottle pried from our cold and dead hands. This sarcastic Tumblr post taps into the idea that most of us would never give up our alcohol because when used fairly responsibly, it's a lot of fun, right? So this person says, "John, from today on out, you are not going to drink any alcohol anymore." But the sarcastic part follows, because this person is not named John, and it seems they dodged the bullet on that one. "Luckily my name is not John." Our name isn't John either and that's a good thing.
2 Everyday is a sleepover
Here's a fun fact. Someone with a multiple personality disorder is never alone because there are all kinds of people living inside their head. And no, we're not making fun of mental disorders here, because this post is sarcastic about it. Sarcasm is a delicate art, and this post walks that fine line between funny and offensive. But admit it, you laughed because we certainly did. Someone with multiple personalities has a sleepover every night because almost everyone they know lives with them inside their own head. Sure, it's probably bad that we laughed at this, but now we're imagining all those personalities talking about boys, giving each other makeovers and braiding each others' hair. And that doesn't seem so bad, does it? (Hint: that's sarcasm, too).
1 The truth about relationships
This is one of those sarcastic Tumblr posts that works on several different levels. This one is for the single people who are a little leery of getting into a new relationship. It's no secret that dating is hard. And being part of a couple is even harder. Why would anyone even do that? That's a level of risk that some of us are just too terrified to take. So this post is for those of us who agree with all that. It's funny, too, because we're thinking "same." So yes, getting into a committed relationship might seem like a good idea, but at one time, a lot of people thought getting on the Titanic was a good idea, too. And we all know how that turned out.