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15 Savage Millennial Comebacks You NEED To See

As a millennial, there are a lot of things I'm tired of dealing with, such as: large student loan debt, entry-level jobs that require 10 years prior experience, climate change, and of course, Baby Boomers complaining on the Internet just how awful my generation is. Sure we like taking selfies, eating avocados, and being able to watch any show on-demand for hours on end. But do you know what those things are? Fun and harmless. I bet Baby Boomers love all of those things too, despite being so vocal about how awful it is that young people are into doing all that stuff. The times have changed, and our economy has gone to the trash (no thanks to the previous generation).

According to a lot of Baby Boomers out there, all millennials are lazy, entitled, and murderers of such important industries such as diamonds, golf, and your local TGI Fridays. In actuality, though, we're all just broke, and we're tired of being criticized for being this way when we didn't have a choice in the matter.

15 Avocado Toast Debunked

If you don't hear a Baby Boomer complaining about millennials and avocado toast, are you really living in the year of 2017? As many business news outlets like to point out, millennials are "killing" many of the industries Baby Boomers used to love such as: diamonds, Applebee's, golf, and napkins. The reason why these sorts of industries aren't as popular with the younger folk is because a lot of these things require a disposable income that most millennials just don't have. The one industry that has been absolutely booming—thanks to the younger generation—is the avocado industry. We love to put it on everything: salads, burritos, chips, and of course, toast. But like all things that millennials enjoy, the angry boomers have to find a problem with it, and millionaire Tim Gurner hates that the young people are putting avocados on their toast instead of buying houses. This claim sounds ridiculous that the money spent on avocados could ever equate to a house in this economy, and the lovely Nora Biette-Timmons took the time to debunk the myth once and for all.

14 The Truth Hurts, Doesn't It?

You know what they say about old dogs, right? Well the aging generation is practically the same, you definitely can't teach most of them any new tricks. Take technology for example; instead of learning how to use a Smartphone (a very useful tool to navigate and communicate), they instead freak out and call phones the reason why the world will somehow crumble into nothingness. For how old some of the biggest complainers are, it's surprising they're looking that far into the future because if smartphones are going to be the downfall of humanity, I'm pretty sure most Baby Boomers won't be around to see it. And for a group of people who are afraid of technology and progress, there seem to be a lot of think-pieces on the Internet, a new form of technology, by the very people who condemn it. Interesting.

13 I Need The Extra Cash

I'm going to follow this tweet up by saying that if I had a dollar for every time a Baby Boomer complained about millennials, I'd be able to cover my serving wage by the tips that they never bothered to give me because "life is hard and you have to work hard for your money, sweetie." It's absolutely astounding how the older generation has the audacity to complain about how lazy millennials are, even though it's been proven time and time again that we are statistically overworked and underpaid. A lot of older Americans equate the amount of wealth one has to their work ethic, but these days, the paycheck definitely doesn't reflect the amount of work put in. It wasn't always like this, but with no thanks to the ones before us, that's the way it is now, and a lot of these economic struggles can be attributed to the Baby Boomer generation.

12 Whoop There It Is

Let me say it once, and let me say it again: "politically correct" culture isn't what's ruining our nation, and it's definitely not ruining comedy. If you're a comedian and you have to solely rely on jokes that personally hurts a certain individual or an entire group of people to get a laugh, then you're really not creative enough to be considered a good comedian. It should be considered a good thing that the status quo is progressive enough to condemn terrible racist jokes, and I think for most people it is. You could argue that some younger humor is weird and not funny, but "egg" is literally 100% harmless while also being hilarious. Instead of getting mad that more people are ready to call out racist jokes, maybe do some soul searching within yourself and try and look deep into why you think that only these bad jokes are funny to you.

11 A Balanced Breakfast Is Important

This can't be an article about millennials without mentioning avocado toast at least twice — this is the #1 pressing issue in all of America in 2017, after all. Here we have this hilarious Twitter user really stick it to the Baby Boomer man, combining two of the most hated things by older people: avocados and fidget spinners. How dare we enjoy a balanced breakfast and a device to distract us through boring work days when we should be working 95 hours a week to afford a studio apartment under minimum wage instead? Avocado toast is a great alternative to Applebee's because it's tasty, inexpensive, filling, and you get the added satisfaction of never having to step foot inside an Applebee's. The only reason why Baby Boomers prefer Applebee's to avocado toast is because they're just too scared to try it and taste the practicality.

10 Tear Them UP

As a person who grew up in a global warming-denier environment, this sort of conversation hits pretty close to home. The same people who love to go and hike in nature and hate technology are also the same people who believe that the future remains with coal and gas-guzzling cars that make you sick just by being too close to it when you start it up. I don't know why there's still a debate on if fuel-efficient cars are a good thing to have, because it literally is just not good for the environment. But just like most things, a lot of Baby Boomers are totally fine with destroying the environment, quite similarly to how they ruined the economy — but ripped jeans sold in stores are definitely going to be the cause for the fall of society for sure.

9 It's All Very Confusing

The #HowToConfuseAMillennial hashtag, if you don't remember, started out as a way for snarky Baby Boomers to have a platform on the Internet to make fun of how "stupid" millennials are. Since Twitter is practically all millennial territory, the young'ins took over this hashtag faster than you could say "destroyed housing market," turning the joke back on the old folks. Take this tweet for instance, it is quite confusing to be expected to buy a house when the system was literally created so that college (the one thing you need to do to be employed) is super expensive, leaving you only to graduate and be qualified for internships that don't pay anything. Working for free isn't really fun when you have debt to pay off. It's the paradox of our generation: how can I get job experience if I don't have the opportunity to get job experience? If I need money to live, and I need to work to get money, how come I'm not getting any money when I'm working?

8 The Perfect Clapback Article

A lot of the older people writing articles for Forbes, Business Week, and the like seem to always be at a loss as to why millennials aren't buying luxury items at the same capacity that they once did. The answer (surprise surprise), is pretty much always that younger people are statistically making less money than their older counterparts at the same age, and thus, have less money to buy things like diamonds. The answer is always the same, but the older folks are always so surprised at the revelation. Young people? Make less money? They're just lazy!

The real question, though, was brought to my attention by this woman on Twitter, who took notice that Baby Boomers were not eating the delicious Vietnamese dish pho quite as much as young people enjoy this delectable meal. This is a real pressing issue, especially since pho beats the quality of Applebee's literally 11/10 times it was tested. Maybe if Baby Boomers just ate more pho, they'd be a little less bitter all the time.

7 The Day Can't Come Soon Enough

For a group of people who are closer to death than the younger people they have so much disdain for, a lot of the older generation doesn't seem to give a toot about health care. You would think that if someone is older, and thus probably needs to go to the doctor more often, they would be really into having the opportunity to have easier access to health care. But if you think that, you're wrong. I think it's that typical Baby Boomer mentality of, "I want to be taken care of, but I don't want to pay for anyone else to be taken care of!" They also probably think it's silly that young people these days care about having health insurance because back in the day, if you were young and healthy, then you could afford to not be insured and to just pay for that doctor's visit when you get a cold.

Maybe if you invested in some preventative care in your younger days and didn't smoke like train engine, then you might not be waiting for death at the ripe age of 72, my man.

6 Who Is Really The Entitled One Here?

I've spent a good portion, and by that I mean a terrible portion, of my young adult life working in customer service and man, let me tell you that it is an experience. Whenever I hear the voice of an angry old woman permeating my ear drums, I'm just about ready to book it out of there and never come back to work again because I just know that there is going to be an endless storm of angry bullsh*t coming out of her mouth. Dealing with younger people is great because they get it. Most of them have probably worked a terrible service job, and even if they haven't, they've also been royally violated by this economy in the last 10 years so we're all bonded a little bit by suffering. Older people, for how un-entitled they're supposed to be, are usually some of the rudest customers I've ever gotten, and they always get mad over the stupidest things.

5 Not Even Necessary Living Functions Are Safe

At this point, I think that a lot of these stupid business articles that like to hide under something they call "journalism" are just being written so that people can get angry about them to get clicks. There are some weird things that millennials are obsessed with, sure, but food is something that doesn't seem that strange to be into, because, you know, everyone needs food to survive and all that stuff... I don't even know what the author of that article would even be trying to get at by sensationalizing the idea that young people enjoy eating food. Maybe this person just forgot the feeling of having a good, juicy burger in their mouth after years of a Soylent-only diet. Here's a headlining question from me: Why Are Baby Boomers So Obsessed With Millennials? 

4 It's Almost Impressive

Just as I've been saying throughout this article, it's amazing what some Baby Boomers think will be the cause for the end of modern society as we know it, all while being a part of things that are actively contributing to the slight downfall of it. I'm not trying to be dramatic but it seems like a lot of the election outcomes across the world don't seem to be helping global stability, and it looks like a lot of those election results were thanks to the older population. As they are known to be creatures of habit, time and time again, they'll stick to their guns (sometimes literally) without taking time to think of the socioeconomic impact of their decisions. It's fine, it's just another thing that us millennials will have to clean up when the time comes.

3 You Can't Get Both

Hey Baby Boomers, do you guys really expect us to be happy and willing to help you with all your technology questions when 10 minutes later you're going to be ragging on why our generation is the worst thing to happen to humanity? I'm sorry to say, but you can't always get the best of both worlds. You guys pride yourselves on being less 'entitled' than we are, so I'm assuming you'll definitely understand. It's pretty funny how a lot of the Boomers condemn technology so hard, but they still end up using it, even if it's only to send you 10,000 Candy Crush requests. They like to call millennials the lazy ones, but they're the ones that are too lazy to remember that to fix the Wi-Fi, all they need to do is just turn the router off and back on again. It's also probably been the fifth time you explained to them what a router is.

2 The Highest Millennial Fantasy

Life simulation games like the Sims and Animal Crossing are a fan favorite among most young people, mostly because they're so much fun to play but they also allow us to live our highest fantasy; making money by doing a task and then using that money to pay for a house. What a concept! Having a job that gives you enough money to pay bills, for a car, and for a house. The beauty is in the simplicity, and I can't believe that we live in such a nightmare of a time that even if you do everything right by the book, the cost of living and the staggering wages will make it almost impossible to be able to buy a house. Back in the day, people lived out their darkest fantasies by BDSM and that kind of stuff. But we're now fulfilled just by being able to own a virtual two-bedroom home with a front porch.

1 The Board Game That's Just Depressing

If you looked at the history of Monopoly, you would find that the creator of the game never intended for the game to be fun. The whole point was that after a while, after buying all the hotels and hoarding the board, the game would lose its fun for the other losing players, while they just hope for this never-ending game to finally end. After Parker Brothers got a hold of the idea, the lesson that was supposed to be taught as to the consequences of the laws of rent and of property taxation, were lost and the game of capitalist values gained popularity. If only people in the past century listened to the game's original creators. They may have learned what 'not to do' so that the younger folk of this world didn't have to deal with this economic dumpsterfire that was created by real-life Monopoly for decades. Regular Monopoly isn't all that fun, but Millennial Monopoly would be straight-up depressing.

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