Gordon Ramsay is famous for more than just his food, his restaurants and his many Michelin stars. He's famous for being mean. Really mean. If you've watched Kitchen Nightmares or Hell's Kitchen, you know what we're talking about. He's made people cry, made others want to throw pots at him and has even made some rethink their choice of career.
But it's not just that he's mean, it's the way in which he's mean. Firstly, he can't seem to get through a sentence without swearing. If you were to watch Hell's Kitchen with the language censored, it'd just be one 45-minute long beep. He's also known for finding the most creative ways to insult someone. How many times has he called someone a f***ing donkey? And remember when he called someone a "panini head?"
There's something very gratifying about watching someone else communicate their anger with so much passion because we're often thinking the same things, but can't express them. At theThings.com, we're all about making days (especially the bad ones) more entertaining so we've collected some of Gordon's best put downs.
16 A chef so useless even his food is crying
We're not sure why anyone would send photos of their food for approval from Gordon Ramsay. At least not seriously. He's as savage online as he is on Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen. (Although, fortunately, he seems like a much nicer guy on Masterchef Junior.) But for whatever insane reason, this genius tweeted a picture of his empanadas to Gordon, who promptly ripped them to shreds. And he did it in one word.
He's not wrong either - those do look sad. And not at all appetizing. It takes someone of incredible skill to make empanadas bad enough to ruin your appetite because they're normally irresistible. They're not the kind of food you need to have a culinary arts degree to make either... people all over the world make variations of them every day. Pro-tip: If you are going to send a photo of your food to Gordon Ramsay, at least make an attempt at decent presentation.
15 A chef so bad he can't even be fired
A summary of every episode of Kitchen Nightmares:Gordon arrives at failing restaurant. Owner/chef tells him all food is fresh and made daily. Gordon orders food. Gordon swears at his plate for 15 minutes ("For what we are about to eat, may the Lord truly not make us vomit.") Chef reveals that food is microwaved / frozen / basically plastic. More shouting. Tears and a breakdown. 2 seconds of Gordon being kind. Roll credits.
How many times during the show did you want to shout at the restaurant owners because the mistakes they were making were so obvious - even to us non-Michelin mortals? Gordon doesn't even attempt to hide is disdain for lazy chefs. But when he has to teach them the basics, he gets even angrier. Now just imagine if the guy who tweeted this was a contestant on Hell's Kitchen. Or even worse, if he owned a restaurant.
14 A meal fit only for the worms
Eggs are one of the first things you learn to cook because it's not difficult to create an entire meal out of one egg and a slice of toast. Just because they're easy to cook, doesn't mean they're easy to cook well. How often have you messed up an omelette and had to turn it into scrambled eggs instead? You've probably also made the same mistake as this would-be chef by cooking a fried egg to the point where it's less a food and more a frisbee. Of course, it's subjective - some people like their eggs oozing and others like them cooked to death. So we can give this Romeo the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the egg: Maybe his girlfriend likes rubbery fried eggs. But there's no excuse for those noodles. Everyone loves noodles! But no one loves noodles that look like worms. Ew.
13 We don't even want to taco 'bout it
If you've watched any of Gordon's shows, you'll know how disparaging he is towards vegans and vegetarians. As a chef, you can't really be fussy about the foods you eat because you have to be able to prepare them all. A vegetarian chef can't taste meat or fish, so how would they know if they've done a good job preparing them? Still, there are some incredible recipes that don't require meat. This is not one of them. Judging by the above tweet, you don't need to be a meat eater to be a butcher - this guy has managed to massacre vegetables. It even looks like they're bleeding. Gordon wasn't impressed by the meal and we don't think Cupid would be either, but do you think the person who this chef was cooking for was impressed? Maybe if you're in love with the would-be chef, you'd overlook the gross factor. Maybe.
12 As long as there is asparagus
Sure, you're allowed to pick how you'd like your beef done. If you've watched any cooking shows, you've probably noticed that chefs like their meat on the rare side, but you do have the right to anything from bloody to cremated. But even for those of you who prefer your steak well done, this is a step too far. Gordon is right - it doesn't even look like meat anymore... it looks like a piece of coal. Actually, nothing on that plate looks appetizing. They may have included asparagus in the dish, but it doesn't make up for the rest of the food. At least they've got the naming of the dish down - filet mignon does make it sound fancier than it is. (For those who are wondering, filet mignon is a cut of beef taken from the smaller end of the tenderloin.) Sadly, this dish is about as fancy as Miley Cyrus at a Chuck-E-Cheese.
11 And a meal not good enough for the flies
We're not entirely sure what's happening here. Did he crush the noodles and use them to crumb the chicken nuggets? Aren't chicken nuggets already breaded? What even are chicken nuggets? We may not know what this not-so-gourmet meal is supposed to be, but what we do know is that it looks unappetizing. Gordon's description is spot on in this case - it really does look like the nuggets are covered in maggots. Maybe Daniel should try Gordon's famous Sticky Lemon Chicken recipe instead. It's supposed to be easy, but if Daniel managed to ruin something as basic as a chicken nugget, we're not entirely sure he could pull off anything Gordon has cooked before.
PRO TIP: If you've ever thought you might have it in you to be a chef, compare yourself to the talented kids on Junior Masterchef... if you can't keep up with them, it's probably not your calling.
10 Shame the meal, shame the Mom
Many chefs describe how they developed a passion for food while cooking with their parents when they were children. But Gordon Ramsay's first passion wasn't cooking; it was soccer. It was only after a knee injury that he pursued a career in food and hotel management. Scottish soccer's loss is the world's gain. Unless you're this poor guy. If this tweet is anything to go by, it looks like this tweeter hasn't got a decent cooking mentor in his mother. Gordon outdid himself with this tweet because he found a way to insult the food, insult this guy's mother and insult the guy for still living at home - in only six words. There's nothing worse than a bad meal at the end of a long day, and when it's cooked by your Mom, it's even worse because you have to pretend to enjoy it. Wonder if Gordon has ever pretended to enjoy a meal just to spare someone's feelings? Doubtful.
9 Poached eggs for a pool boy?
Fancy ramen noodles are the new fancy burgers. We're not talking about the cheap ramen you buy as a broke student... we're talking about gourmet bowls of noodles that are the latest food trend. It's entirely possible to transform a packet of those noodles into something incredible, provided you have the right recipe. This is not one of those. This isn't even one you're tempted to try. The picture is already off-putting, but Gordon's description takes it to a whole other level of unappetizing. His talent for insults is almost as impressive as his talent for cooking.
Many articles advising people about how to upscale their ramen noodles will tell you that a hard boiled egg is the easiest way to do so. The recipes get progressively more complex from there. But, at under $1 a packet, it's worth going through a few bowls of toxic scum to find the perfect bowl of ramen.
8 He cremated it, then he ate it
They say you can't rush good food. Which is especially true for chicken. You don't want to be too demanding of a cook when they're making a chicken dish because if they don't cook it enough, it could kill you. (Salmonella is a thing, people.) If they rush to cook it, they could burn it. It's not like a piece of steak - you can't just sear each side and then serve it up. You have to leave it to cook for a while. But, like an avocado, it's entirely possible to leave it for one moment too long. And then it'll go from potentially delicious to a lump of coal. It's a pity because, when it's done right, a good roast is excellent comfort food. Want to make sure your chicken doesn't end up like Dani's? No problem. Follow a recipe for a stuffed roast chicken from the man himself.
7 When your eggs are so hard, you need a bulletproof vest to survive them
Some people just ask for trouble by tweeting to Gordon. Like this guy. We hope he knew what he was getting himself into when he challenged Gordon to #getonhislevel because, if he didn't, he must've gotten a painful wake-up call about his potential career. Side note: Why do eggs seem to cause so many problems for people? Or does Gordon just have high expectations for them? Either way, this poor guy got twice the insults for the price of one tweeted photo. It's double the roast. Ouch! But the reason we allow such nastiness from him is because he can put his money where his mouth is. Literally. So, for those of you like Dani, here's a video of how to make sure your scrambled eggs meet Gordon's exacting standards. For those of you that have progressed beyond this basic skill, try this one out.
6 Warm bread is better than burnt toast
You know how it goes with toast... it's either barely lukewarm bread or it's burnt to the point of fossilization. Not yum. If you're one of those people who has found a toaster that a) is consistent, b) is long-lasting and c) looks good in your kitchen, you're in the minority. And also, HOW?! Burnt toast is bad enough, but it's a sin to burn a grilled cheese sandwich. Think of the precious cheese you waste when your sandwich looks anything like Tyler's. Gordon is right to question his vision (if facetiously) because c'mon guy... You can't eat that. 100% sure Tyler blamed the kitchen equipment for messing this up so badly. What? Like you haven't blamed the stove for ruining a dish when you know it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been so busy Instagramming.
5 To infinity and... the trash
WHAT is even happening in this photo? Is it a cake? Is it art? Is it a two-year-old's finger painting? Who can tell?! The longer you look at it, the weirder it gets. One thing's for sure... We don't want to eat anything that looks as creepy as this. We feel like we're justified in saying this, but there are some weird food phobias out there. Like Alektorophobia - the fear of chicken. Or Arachibutyrophobia - the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. And the worst of them all: Cibophobia - the fear of food. Although, if your food was as consistently scary as this supposed Buzz Lightyear, we wouldn't blame you for being scared of it. Whatever it is, maybe it tastes better than it looks. We doubt it, but you never know. It's also entirely possible that this wannabe-chef wasn't in his right mind when he made this.
4 For this chef, the way to someone's heart is not through their stomach
You know that old cliche... the way to a man's/woman's/puppy's heart is through their stomach. And it's true. Knowing that someone can cook well gives them instant XP. Do you think Jamie Oliver would be considered as attractive if he was just a regular dude on a scooter with too much love for bread? (No, you're right, you can never love bread too much.) But if he wasn't a chef, Jamie would just be a kinda cute guy with a cool accent. And, as much as we love him, he's not even close to Gordon's level of proficiency.
There's another cliche that might apply in this tweet's instance: It's the thought that counts. Well, not according to Gordon since he didn't have anything nice to say about his cake. And we all know Gordon is not the kind of guy who will stop talking if he has nothing nice to say. In fact, if he has nothing nice to say, he'll say it louder.
3 You have failed this vegetable
For those wondering, an artist's magnum opus is the greatest work they've created. If that's the case with this chef, we hope he doesn't own a restaurant.
Aside from being scared of sour things (acerophobia), of taste (geumophobia), of chopsticks (consecotaleophobia) and of swallowing (phagophobia), you can also be scared of vegetables. It's called lachanophobia and it's a real thing. There is no word for fear of vegans, but if there was one, it would apply to Gordon Ramsay. Actually, it's not even fear. It's closer to hatred. If you've ever watched him talking to vegetarians or vegans, you'd have noticed his aversion to people who don't eat meat. Although, if all vegetarians cooked like this, he'd be fully justified in his contempt. Veggies are the Earth's gift to us. It's tragic to see them destroyed like this. Can someone explain why it looks like a veggie jelly? And why anyone would do that to an innocent red pepper?
2 GuacaNOle on toast
Please don't kill avocados. They're so fragile as it is. They really don't need bad chefs contributing to their self-destructive tendencies. They're also one of those foods that you shouldn't be able to mess up. Sure, they go from ripe to revolting in 5 seconds, but when they are ripe, they don't require much work. Open them up, add salt and pepper and spread on toast. What could be easier? And yet... this guy. We're sure Gordon would rather he'd left the avos to go brown rather than turn them brown by burning them. Or is that badly mixed pepper? Either way, Gordon is not impressed. And he should know because his avo on toast recipe is delicious. It's a step above just spreading an avo on toast, but give it a try anyway. Unless you're @AronaBagels. And if you are: Step away from the avo. Please.