There's no denying that J.K. Rowling is the best. On top of giving us the magical world that is the Harry Potter series, she's a pretty awesome person. Just ask anyone who follows her on Twitter. Sometimes, she answers questions that fans have about the series and gives even more information than the books and movies did. Sometimes, those aren't answers any of us really wanted. Like that one about the Hufflepuff common room. Other times, they're great answers and everyone is excited to learn more about what else went on at Hogwarts. Because let's real, only she would know.
When she's not answering questions people ask, she's giving some of the most savage replies to trolls that Twitter has ever seen. Check out 15 of her best replies to trolls on Twitter.
15 When She Time Traveled
I seem to have woken up in the 90s. pic.twitter.com/g7Q3i2dSIz— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 30, 2017
Ah yes, the good ol' 90s. No electricity, going everywhere on horses, dying of a common cold, being accused of witchcraft... Oh, sorry, that's the 1790s. That must have been where she woke up if someone was replying to her with something like, "You shall not permit a sorceress to live." I can't believe there are still people who believe she's a witch and needs to be burned at the stake.
I mean, she clearly is a witch because no 'muggle' could make up something as great as the Harry Potter series. But come on, burning is so 200 years ago. Let the witches and wizards of the world live in peace. Especially if they're J.K. Rowling. You can get rid of all the evil ones, but leave her alone.
14 Her Excellent Response To This Boycott
Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I've still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017
Honestly, I've never understood this form of boycott. Or should I say buycott? Like, is it really sticking it to them if you just buy all their stuff and then burn it or something? They got your money, you're helping them more than you're harming them. I understand it's probably some sort of symbolic thing where you buy and then ruin it in some big statement to show you hate that thing, but seriously. There are better ways to spend your money. Buy their competitor's stuff and support them instead. Or don't and keep buying things from people you choose to boycott. Just don't be mad when it doesn't work because you've been warned. J.K.'s response to this was gold. She's already got their money and those fumes are probably not good for them.
13 Not Giving That Secret Out So Easily
Nice try, buddy. J.K. knows better than to just tell any random person on Twitter how to make a Horcrux. You never know, the next Voldemort might be lurking around in your mentions as @He_Two_Must_Not_Be_Named or something. I imagine the next Voldemort is probably a fan of puns like that. It's a shame they're going to turn out to be evil with a sense of humor. Luckily, J.K. has the information on how to make Horcruxes locked down and isn't just gonna start passing it out in replies to anyone who asks. If you want to split your soul up and store it in objects, you have to do all the work yourself. No shortcuts here. If Voldemort could do it seven times, you can find the spell yourself.
Or don't. Please don't.
12 Tweet Carefully
I honestly don't understand this misconception about celebrities not being able to have opinions on anything going on in the world. The second they try to, they're met with a response like Luke's here, about how they're in their mansion with their fancy smartphone. Sorry, Luke, I'm sure your opinions are worth more because they're coming from your space grey iPhone. How rich and famous do you become before all your opinions are just supposed to disappear?
J.K.'s response to this was the best. Instead of trying to fight them with logic or defend her stance, she just used some well-tweeted sarcasm. Also, if you're looking for that diamond iPhone she joked about having, start saving. Stuart Hughes made a $15 million dollar diamond-crusted iPhone 5 in 2013.
11 This Spelling Lesson
Getting my spelling corrected by J.K. Rowling herself would be a dream. I need to just start tweeting at her with all kinds of spelling mistakes until she notices me. That's how you get someone's attention, right? And then one day, maybe she'll acknowledge me. I'll have to print and frame the tweet where she replies to me and says, "You're*." It'll be magical. I'll get a little corner of my room to put all my Harry Potter books, movies, and other memorabilia in and then hang the tweet above it. Then I can forever brag about how J.K. Rowling tweeted to me once. I mean, yeah, it was just to correct my grammar. But a tweet is a tweet, right? I'll count it as a win.
10 Shutting Down People Using Her
Top 10 Times Rowling Tweeted That She Doesn't Have 10 Rules For Success So Ignore This Nonsense & Do It Your Own Way https://t.co/Cwi6oYl79A— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 14, 2016
I love this. I see so many articles that are like, "J.K. Rowling's Top 10 Rules For Being Successful" that are really vague like that. I always wonder if they actually have anything to do with the person's name they put in the title. Good to know that at least in the case of this one, they didn't. I love that she just shut it down and said that people can become successful in any way. You don't have to take advice from an article on the Internet or feel bad if the "rules for success" in it are different than what works for you. I wonder how many articles spawned from this tweet. Things like, "J.K. Rowling's One Crazy Rule For Success!" It's ironic that it's not to listen to stuff like that and do what works for you.
9 On Movie Casting
We found the best actress and she's black. Bye bye, now. https://t.co/1fGmP5znHP— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 10, 2016
Absolutely savage. People were not happy when they announced that Hermione was going to be black in Cursed Child, but J.K. did not care at all about their racist tweets. "It's about consistency. How come you can't find a good white actress?" Nice try, buddy. The way she shut this down by pointing out that they did find a good actress and that's why they cast her, was beautiful. I love that while people were getting super mad over the fact that they cast Hermione the way they did, J.K. was here to shut them down on Twitter. And she did it in such a simple way. There's no way they could argue with that. Well, they probably tried. But obviously failed and with one tweet, J.K. was the winner.
8 The Most Savage Burn
Seriously, doesn't this person know they can't try to come for J.K. on Twitter if they can't even spell Slytherin? It's from her series. You can't use it to insult her if you can't spell it right. And instead of trying to argue back with them or fight them with logic, she just pointed out that Slitherin is not a thing. It's Slytherin. Good for you, J.K. Some trolls just do not need to be argued with, but that doesn't mean you can't point out their spelling errors. Especially when they're misspelling something that you came up with. I bet that person thought they were just so clever using "Slitherin" against her in that tweet. I can just imagine them chuckling into their keyboard as they typed it. Too bad they were so wrong.
7 Spelling It Out For Them
In - Free - Countries - Anyone - Can - Talk - About - Politics.— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 28, 2017
Try sounding out the syllables aloud, or ask a fluent reader to help. pic.twitter.com/K1j19EIU5f
Wait a second, the Harry Potter series is "about a nerd who turns people into frogs"? Since when? Did I read some bootleg version that had all the frog-turning cut out and replaced with cool magic and Quidditch? Ugh, I feel so ripped off right now. Oh well, I guess that means I need to go buy a whole new set of the series and start reading again. I don't want to spend another minute having not actually read the Harry Potter books. Luckily, this person was here to point out the wrongs in my life so I can make a change.
I love that they tried to say J.K. can't talk about politics because she wrote a series about magic. And that she just shut them down by telling them to sound out her reply.
6 When She Had Faith In Herself
*sighs* Well, who knows? If I try harder, I might be reincarnated as a lonely virgin hiding behind a cartoon frog. pic.twitter.com/EbocdxfJ5o— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 30, 2017
That's the spirit, J.K. If you just believe in yourself and have a little faith in your future, one day you can be a troll on Twitter, too. Hiding behind the cartoon frog as your avatar is basically expert lame troll mode, so that might take a little bit more work than just "believing in yourself." But hey, anything is possible. I feel like this is not what our parents were talking about when they said you can be anything you want when you grow up. I guess everyone has to have a dream, no matter how strange or sad it may be. Being a Twitter troll is a dirty job, but apparently someone has to do it. Luckily, people like J.K. are here to deal with them.
5 My Role Model
.@aboymadeofsky No, Jonathan, I've never made a single decision in my life on the basis of whether it was cool.— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 9, 2014
This is the kind of role model kids need, honestly. Don't make your decisions based on whether or not they're cool. Make them based on whether or not they're right. Along with being full of all kinds of cool magic, the Harry Potter books had a lot of really great life lessons in them. They're the kind of thing that the fans have held onto for the rest of their lives. Odds are, if you ask just about any Potterhead, they can tell you their favorite quote or a lesson the books taught them. Or several. Seriously, clear your schedule before you ask because you're going to be there a while. Thanks to the magic of Twitter, fans don't have to just hold onto those. J.K. is still here to tweet little nuggets of wisdom like this.
4 This Incredible Pun
They see me Rowlin'— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 17, 2016
They hatin' https://t.co/dfiqou7vpD
This is the best. I don't care how many times I've seen various puns on her last name, they will forever make me laugh. The only thing better than seeing them all over the Internet in memes and jokes is having her tweet one herself. I don't think there's ever been a better usage of the "They see me Rowlin' / They hatin'" parody than this. Yes, it's been hilarious since the first person took "Ridin' Dirty" and put J.K.'s last name into it to make memes out of. But her using it herself against a troll on Twitter like this? Absolutely brilliant. I just wish I had a cool last name so I could pop it into things like this and use it against people who try to argue with me. Time to change my last name to something more fun - BRB.
3 Life Lessons With J.K.
That made me laugh, but I hope she then initiated a casual chat about the grounds for justifiable homicide. https://t.co/DIzZ92OQiF— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 22, 2016
Whoa, that kid is way harsh. Cedric did not deserve to die and you can't steal someone's girlfriend. Girls have a mind of their own and can pick who they want to date all by themselves. There's no need to say that they weren't sad about his death because he "stole" Harry's girlfriend. As a kid when I was reading the books, I was kind of annoyed with the way Cho acted. With her crying and kissing Harry and stuff, I was just tired of it and wanted to get back to the real action and magic. Now that I'm grown up, I see that she was just sad about Cedric and needed some better treatment. Especially from little me rolling my eyes at everything she said.
2 This Helpful Tip
.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015
I feel like this might be her most savage tweet ever. This one was all over the Internet after she tweeted it with people applauding her and laughing at how clever this was. If there was a class called "Shutting Down Trolls 101," I think this would be the first thing they covered. I tried to see exactly what she was replying to, but that person's Twitter was actually suspended sometime between when she tweeted this and now. I imagine that Twitter just casually suspended them to save them the embarrassment of sticking around after being burned so savagely by J.K. Rowling, but that's just a guess. Whatever it was, J.K.'s response was absolute gold and it was also some really helpful advice to trolls everywhere.
1 The Best Anatomy Lesson
All I have to say to that is that J.K.'s husband is a very lucky man if he looks that good in a dress.
In all seriousness though, this is the absolute best response to someone saying that someone is "built like a man." Honestly, I've never understood that as an insult. "She's built like a man," as in she has muscles? Are muscles only something guys can have? And why is it always dudes with no muscle who try to use that as an insult? Is it because they're jealous that they have some flab and can barely lift a fork to their mouth while a woman has a six pack? I know I'm jealous she looks so good, but I don't go on Twitter saying she's built like a man nor will I ever.