Since the Internet evolved into the beautiful messy trove of any and everything imaginable that it is today, we have seen quite a few changes emerge in the way we communicate with each other. One of those ways is through community messages comprised of 140 characters or less. These messages, fondly known as tweets, were once meant to be shared with intimate groups of friends. Now, Twitter has become the epicenter for what’s happening now; be it breaking news, memes, or discussion. It has also become a safe haven for strong, and often controversial, opinions that often go viral. Whether or not they are controversial, a lot of these outrageous opinions actually make a good point. Check out just a few of these savage but scary accurate tweets below.
15 Imagine How Cute I’d Be If I Was Rich
Earlier in this post, I discussed white male privilege. Well, I’m sad to say that that is not the only kind of outrageous privilege that exists on Earth. Another privilege we see a lot of—especially in the realm of Hollywood—is the privilege of money. This savage example of that is brought to you by none other than Kendall and Kylie Jenner, the princesses of privilege. The two were raised with money to burn, but for some reason, people attribute the glow you see pictured to puberty. I’m here to tell you that puberty had about 9% to do with the transformation you see between the two photos. There have been multiple reports of the Jenner girls undergoing plastic surgeries and like to transform themselves into who you see them as. Just keep that in mind when you’re hating on how little puberty did for you.
14 No One Asked You If I Needed Makeup Or Not
"You don't need makeup" I BEEN KNOWING THAT MAKEUP IS OPTIONAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH— Common Girl (@SoReIatable) June 11, 2017
Men have made a horribly terrible habit out of sticking their nose into the business of women. To spare you a rant of epic proportion, I’ll narrow that down a tad by saying that men have somehow become entitled to such a degree, that they can bless us women with the news that we don’t need to wear makeup for their sake... Boy howdy, what a relief that is! Like the original tweeter of this post, I feel the pain of hearing this day in and day out when I choose to wear makeup in various circumstances in my life. I’m not doing it for you, so you can kindly stop assuming that I’m going through all of this effort to impress you. Did it ever cross your mind that women (and men) wear makeup because it makes us feel good about ourselves?
13 I’m Still An Adult, Mom. Relax.
Being home from college is weird like don't yell at me for being out this late you didn't even know where I was for 10 months straight— zoey (@zoeyoneohone) June 10, 2017
Now that we’re finally getting into the summer months, this tweet can be particularly relatable as college students are moving back home for the summer and trying (but failing) to transition into a tamer lifestyle. Like many college students, I lived at home most summers and it was like the flip of a switch. I couldn’t leave the house without being interrogated for nearly 20 minutes about where I was going, who I was going with, blah, blah, blah. And you better believe I got those 11:30 pm text messages from mom wondering where I was and why I wasn’t home yet. "Uh, mom, we’ve only had one drink. Why don’t you understand how this works?" I don’t suddenly revert back to being 15 again when I come home.
12 You Deserve To Be Hit With A Baseball Bat
I think we can all agree that there are not many people out there who really deserves to be hit with a baseball bat, especially over the head. I think we can all also agree that absolutely no one in the entire existence of planet Earth deserves to be raped or told that they deserve to be raped. And that’s exactly what got this preacher hit in the head with a baseball bat. According to the original report by Raw Story, preacher Dean Saxton regularly goes around Glendale, Arizona yelling “anti-gay messages” and on this particular day, he was found holding a sign saying, “You deserve to be raped,” which he also carries on a regular basis. A female student who was (rightfully) outraged by this whacked him with a baseball bat outside of a local high school. Can we really blame her, though?
11 Alien Abduction As A Replacement For HealthCare
Being abducted by aliens for medical testing may be my best shot at affordable health care— AtariJones👨🏽💻♥️ (@Atari_Jones) June 7, 2017
For a while now (and I’m talking years), healthcare has been making headline after headline. A quick Google search will bring up literally billions of results that are predominantly related to the constant changes that are being made, or rather being proposed to be made, to the healthcare system in America. Much of the narrative surrounding this issue is volatile, because a lot rides on this decision. In fact, hundreds of thousands of people’s accessibility to affordable healthcare rides on the decision of a handful of people. That being said, it’s easy to agree with people like @Atari_Jones who are looking into alternative (and otherworldly) options. As crazy as it sounds to consider alien probing as a substitute for health care, it’s still more accessible than many health care plans available. Just let that sink in for a second.
10 Show Them Cheeks, Girl
So you got naked for a Burger King check and ur giving me a hard time? Foh 😂😆😩 https://t.co/0RSK2OEN5S— Amber Rose (@DaRealAmberRose) June 11, 2017
Many of you may have already seen Amber Rose’s cheeky advertisement for the Amber Rose Slut Walk. To put it bluntly, she was entirely naked from the underboob down. In my personal opinion, it was a bit much for Twitter but hey, body empowerment is the point of the Slut Walk — so rock on! Not everyone was as nice with their feedback, though, unfortunately. Even other celebrities were quick to throw shade at Amber Rose, including Piers Morgan who posted a photo of himself posing nearly naked for a Burger King advertisement as a way to mock her. She wasn’t having it, though. She came back with a sassy comment about how she stripped down for a good cause while he did the same thing, just for a pile of money from a fast food restaurant.
9 A Bossy Boyfriend Is A Boyfriend Worth Losing
There are quite a few people in this world that seem to think they can dictate what other people do. We see this a lot in relationships. It’s not always the boyfriend and it’s not always the girlfriend… and it’s not even all relationships! But when you find yourself in a relationship where your bae is telling you what you can’t wear, who you’re allowed to talk to, and how often you need to be texting them, you have to kick their butts to the curb. Greg is not allowed to tell you you can’t talk to Nathaniel. Likewise, Cindy is not allowed to be looking through your phone every 10 minutes because she trusts you but not "them." This is your life and you are in charge of it. Bye Greg and Cindy!
8 Congratulations? I Think?
A lot of things happen when you decide to have a baby with someone. Aside from the obvious parts of actually getting pregnant, telling people any and every bit of knowledge you have, and actually having the baby, people like to sprinkle an extra announcement in here and there. That’s right, people now announce that they are attempting to conceive — which seemed perfectly normal until this tweet from @katchapstick crossed my timeline. It sounds all well and good when a loving couple says they are trying to have a baby. But really what they’re telling you is that they’re having rapid, unprotected sex. All. The. Time. That’s wonderful Jennifer, thank you for letting us know! We’re so insanely happy for you! *cringes endlessly*
7 “L” Is For The Way You Love Me Enough To Deal With My Laziness
Love is a very complicated thing and can mean a lot of different things at once. Love is about spending and enjoying time together. Love is about taking care of each other. Love is about holding each other up in times of need. To be more specific, love is about holding each other’s heads up when you’re trying to drink while laying down. Yes, trying to drink while laying down is not only dangerous — but it's also extremely lazy. But—if you can see in the background—a woman's head is being lovingly lifted so she can sip from her Solo Cup without having to stand up all the way. Wow, now that's love. Anyone who doesn’t want to deal with your little quirks (like this) can pack their bags because they’re clearly not the one for you.
6 NBA Jersey Or Hawaiian Shirt? How Will I Choose??
white males deciding outfits for concerts pic.twitter.com/6YX9gOIYWi— steve (@stevhole) June 9, 2017
While we are on the subject of white males, let’s talk briefly about the current fashion trends circling this group of people. I’ll be the first to say that unlike the issue in number 10 on this list, this blatant stereotype is not limited to just white men. Having gone to a very large party school, I can verify that men from all origins were strutting the streets for various events decked out in NBA jerseys and (mostly unbuttoned) Hawaiian shirts. We can’t hide this secret anymore, people. This is a clear trend for some unknown reason. Some force in the universe has compelled men all over the planet to obsess over these two very basic—but still very stylish—fashion choices. Again, this is a flagrant typecast of men. Be that as it may, it’s still scary accurate. Sorry.
5 The Real Reason People Drink Alcohol...You Will Be Shocked
When you’re young, most people assume that alcohol is consumed for the taste of it because kid logic tells us that drinking things that taste nasty, like cough syrup, makes for a super unenjoyable experience. What is the point of drinking something that doesn’t taste good? But then we grow up, and we go to our first party, and drink only to hate it. Then, we go to our second party, drink again, and realize that being drunk is fun if you can get past the awful taste of whatever cheap alcohol you’re being served. The original tweeter, @fvizs aka “Faiz,” makes a jab at Hennessy, which, to be fair, is somewhat harsh. But LJ, aka @bythwaylj, comes back by a clapback based in our roots. We shouldn’t pretend like we’re drinking straight liquor for the taste. We’re better than that.
4 The Sun Will Always Win
Some dude just called me a pussy for putting on sunscreen. Imagine thinking you're tougher than the sun? The fucking sun?— Cousin Riggs (@RiggsBarstool) June 10, 2017
It was a normal day enjoying the outdoors for “Riggs,” aka @RiggsBarstool. Whatever he was doing on the day this tweet was created on, he was sure to do so while wearing sunscreen. This is because sunburn and other skin diseases that come from the sun, like cancer, are no joke. But in the midst of applying his sunscreen—like the forward-thinking guy that he is—Riggs was mocked by “some dude.” To put it more appropriate terms, he was called a sissy for wearing sunscreen. Instead of ranting about how much this dude sucks on Twitter, Riggs turned the situation around to make a brilliant point that no one is more powerful than the sun. The sun is the sun and you are weak. You cannot defeat the sun. So, just put your sunscreen on and shut up.
3 Okay, It’s Bad For You... What’s Your Point?
Though fast food is inherently bad for you, Chick-Fil-A is eaten and loved by many people across the world. Even during times of the day that aren’t necessarily associated with a meal time, people wait in lines of 10 cars or more at the drive-thru to get their Chick-Fil-A fix. I don’t know what they put in the stuff, and it can’t be anything too good for you, but people just can’t stay away from this place. With that being said, some people like the folks at Eater.com are starting to suggest that it’s super bad for you... #Shocker. This is hard to hear for those who live and breathe Chick-Fil-A, like @kayyyyyyye who was 100% not interested in your opinion. She’ll eat her damn chicken sandwich when she damn well pleases.
2 Warning: Do Not Put Wasp Nests Into Any Bodily Orpheus!
Just another example of "the man" trying to keep us down. pic.twitter.com/CQM9O7DM4R— Elyse Willems (@ElyseWillems) June 6, 2017
Oppression of any group of people is uncool. But @ElyseWillems does a spectacular job in this tweet of making light of a gloomy topic by poking some fun at this headline from The Sun. This headline, which reads “Doctors warn women against putting wasp nests in their vaginas,” prefaces a story about medical and scientific findings suggesting that participating in this frankly bizarre could be dangerous. Gee, I wonder why. The hidden hilarity and savageness in this tweet derives from the historical oppression women have felt from so-called medical findings like this in the past. To give an example, the reason women feel societal pressure to shave their body hair stems from a marketing campaign led by, you guessed it, men who claimed it was better for us.
1 "I Will Pizza Had Zero Calories In It"
There are literally thousands of so-called inspirational sayings out in the world. “Follow your dreams,” they say. “Shoot for the moon and you’ll land among the stars,” they say. The one in the original tweet of this post comes from American YouTube star Tiffany Alvord. She tells us to “stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will’.” Yeah, I’d say that this is inspirational. To put it more bluntly, she’s telling us to start turning our aspirations into actions, which is a good point. You should do that. But @christenrhule, who responded to Tiffany’s tweet, makes an even better point, which is that we don’t have control over everything. We can wish we knew how to swim and execute that but we can’t make college free. For now, that’s still only a dream.