If we’re in a relationship, we know that we’re in it for the long haul. When time is precious, we don’t want to waste it on someone who isn’t a candidate for a serious future together.
After all, relationships can take up a ton of time and energy, making them almost as tricky to navigate as the stock market (but just as important to invest in).
To all those people out there who are wondering whether or not their partner is just as invested as they are, here’s the inside scoop. This article highlights a variety of signs that the person we’re with is definitely looking at the long term with us.
It also points out a few red flags that prove the opposite, because we all know relationships can definitely be tricky.
20 His Mom Knows Your Name
One of the big facts we want to look at is your integration into his family. Thought Catalog points out the fact that, if his mom knows your name, you’ve probably past the “serious relationship” threshold and gone into that “long term partner” status.
After all, moms have a lot to think about; if she remembers your name, it definitely means something.
19 He Asks If You Need Anything From The Grocery Store
Oh baby, we love a person who keeps our snack cravings satisfied. Thought Catalog put this near the top of their list, and we have to agree!
If he’s asking what we need from the grocery store it’s clear that he’s got his mind on domestic matters, even if you two aren’t living together yet. That’s a sign he’s thinking long term.
18 He Makes Concrete, Long Term Plans
You might be thinking, “duh, isn’t that obvious?” Trust us when we say that sometimes it isn’t obvious, though. Concrete, long term plans don’t necessarily mean the marriage and children talk.
It could mean planning a vacation or listing you as the plus one for his sister’s wedding eight months from now.
17 Short Term Love: His ‘Future Planning’ Consists Of Pre-Ordering His Pizza
Okay, this is definitely not the dude who’s planning eight months in advance for anything. This is the guy who’s just concerned with day-to-day tasks, and sometimes he can’t even get through those.
This is not the guy who’s in it for the long haul; this is the guy who just wants to follow his whims and fancies.
16 It’s No Longer ‘He’, It’s ‘We’!
This shift is one of the most exciting things that happens in a relationship. When either of you starts to use the word “we”, you know it’s serious.
Thought Catalog points out that this shift proves he’s thinking of himself as part of the couple and that he considers the relationship an essential part of his life.
15 He Can List Every One Of Our Favorite Burger Toppings Or Brunch Preferences
Elite Daily said it best when they discussed how a guy is invested long term when he remembers all of our favorite things. If he can rattle off your favorite toppings or surprise you with your favorite brunch in bed, he’s put the effort in to know you.
And if he’s put that much effort in so far, he’ll definitely continue to put it in!
14 The Dates Are More Meaningful Than Dinner And Drinks
One thing that highlights just how serious a guy is is how serious his dates are. Does he hunt through pages and pages of Groupon just to find an activity that will excite and intrigue you? If he does, he’s definitely committed.
Casual guys go for drinks, while the serious ones get excited by exciting you.
13 He Compromises (Without A Fight)
Remember compromise? That thing our parents taught us when we were kids? Compromise is alive and well, and good partnerships will consist of a healthy amount of compromise on both his and our parts.
Him compromising without a fight is a sign that he’s willing to make the relationship work.
12 But You Two Have Also Survived A Few Fights
Don’t get us wrong, though: as much as we try to compromise, sometimes there are still a few fights to be had. If your relationship has survived an argument or two you’re definitely in a place to be thinking long term.
It’s not that perfect couples never fight. It's that "perfect” couples use their fights to come back stronger.
11 Short Term: His Profile Says ‘Casual Only’
If this isn’t a red flag, we don’t know what is. When you’re swiping left and right through various dating apps it’s important to remember that the profile bio says it all, even with minimal words. Pay special attention to those two words, “Casual Only.”
We know from experience that if a guy wants to keep it casual, there’s no hope for anything else.
10 Short Term: He’s Never Had A Long Term Relationship Before
Another action to flag is whether or not he’s ever had a serious, long term relationship before. If he hasn’t, it might mean that he’s got some of that classic commitment-phobia.
Or, maybe he was just waiting for the right person. Never having had a long term relationship isn’t always a bad thing!
9 Everything Is ‘Your New Tradition’
We’re a fan of doing this one, but we think it translates pretty well into our partners too. If he keeps going on about building traditions together, it’s a sign that he’s thinking about building a future together.
After all, tradition is a long term thing. Not a short term action.
8 He Remembers Key Things And Checks In With You About Them
We’ve all been with those partners who’ve conveniently forgotten about your family dinner that happens the third Sunday of every month. The ones who remember, however, are definitely the keepers.
Long term love requires mutual respect for each other’s time and plans. Not surprise double booking both of you during family dinner!
7 Vacation Talk Turns From ‘One Day’ To Plane Tickets And Plans
When was the last time you actually went on a real vacation? Many of us millennials haven’t. We either have time or money, but not both. The great thing about being in a partnership is that both of you can save towards a trip.
If he’s gone from wanting and wishing to just booking the tickets, it’s a sign that he’s ready to plan.
6 He Cares About Communication And Works To Fix It
There’s nothing sweeter than somebody saying “let me explain that a different way.” Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship, but it’s never perfect right away.
If your partner works to fix any communication problems that arise, he’s definitely thinking towards the future. Spoiler alert: it’s a future full of almost flawless communication.
5 Short Term: He Brings Everything With Him After Staying The Night
We’ve heard that, if someone wants to show that they’re interested in more than a fling, they should leave something at the person’s apartment. Then there’s an excuse to talk/meet up again!
We’re willing to bet that the opposite is true too: if he takes everything with him, he might not be wanting to take any chances on a second meet.
4 We’ve Met His Friends
This is a no-brainer, but Bustle reminds us that even the obvious facts are good to consider when thinking about our relationship.
If he isn’t shy about bringing us along to big group hangouts, it’s definitely an indicator that he’s in it for the long term. After all, friends are forever; if we’re in with them, we’re in for good.
3 He Considers Your Schedule When Making His Own Plans
Did he switch a shift at work just so his day off lines up with yours? Does he double check your joint calendar before agreeing to go on a skiing trip with his bros? If so, he’s prioritizing you (and the relationship).
That kind of thoughtfulness is definitely something to hold onto.
2 Short Term: He Won’t Open Up
Thought Catalog is clear: if he’s not opening up emotionally, he’s probably not thinking about forever. If he’s someone who struggles with opening up generally, take this with a grain of salt (after all, he might just need more time).
But if you two have been together for a few months and he’s still not budging, long term is not in the cards.
1 He’s Still Here
At the end of the day, if he’s still in the relationship, it’s probably a sign that he’s happy. Guys don’t necessarily beat around the bush, at least from our experience with them.
He’ll let you know when he’s ready to move on. Until then, trust the signs and rest assured that he’s in this for the long haul.
Sources: Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, Bustle