Another year, another dollar—or, something like that. Hey, you guys can spend the early days of 2018 coming up with fanciful resolutions and breaking your back just to stick to them, but we're not falling into that trap. No sir. Not again. We just can't see the point in setting goals for ourselves when we know right from the get go that we'll never reach them. That's not a good way to start off a new year, if you ask us.
If you like disappointment and low self-esteem, feel free to continue with your New Year's resolution making. But, if you're ready for a pleasant change of pace, check out these 15 soothing pictures of perfection, because that's the best way to start a new year off right.
15 The soda spiral of supreme satisfaction
Retail workers deserve so much love. Imagine how stressful it must be for them, having to cater to the unreasonable demands of rude customers day in and day out. We're fortunate enough not to have to deal with people on a daily basis, but even we know how awful they can be. Retail workers have every right to lose it from time to time.
But, do they lose it? Mostly, nah. What they do instead is channel their inner loss of a will to live into art—which is not only a healthy coping mechanism, it's also hecka satisfying. A special thanks to the employee who took time out of his or her day to go above and beyond by constructing this soda box tower of OCD-tingling delight.
14 This looks like the February photo in a cat calendar
Look, we can masquerade as a bunch of snarky savages on the internet all we want, but we're all the same. Beneath our layers of artisanally crafted, barrel-aged sarcasm, we're all nothing more than a bunch of softhearted dopes, ready, able and willing to melt over some adorable cat pictures. Sure, we can convince other people we're tough as nails, but show us one cute kitty picture and our baddie ruse comes crashing down. That's just how we humans are.
We were all ready to squee over this adorable picture. Our heart was already warmed, okay? The last thing we needed—or, perhaps, the thing we didn't realize we needed—was this snap of two kitties laying together in the shape of a heart. Consider our day made.
13 Now that's a battery pack
Things fitting neatly into other things is our aesthetic. At least, we think it is? See, we heard our niece say something about her "aesthetic" when we were visiting with our family over the holidays, and we're still not really sure how to use that phrase properly, but we figure since all the kids are saying it these days, we can't be left out of the loop.
However rightly or wrongly our use of "aesthetic" may be, modern slang isn't the thing we need to be discussing right now. No, what really requires attention is this little container that was clearly forged by the hands of the gods of plastic themselves to store ten 9-volt batteries. We'd be lying if we said we didn't shed a tear of joy upon seeing this image.
12 This wall's perfect for anyone who loves playing Frisbee, but has no friends
This GIF is mesmerizing, but what's up with the wall around that lamppost? Were they afraid it would stampede? Were they trying to give the Great Wall of China a run for its money, but then they got bored ten minutes into their project? We mean, thank goodness whoever built it decided to proceed with their WTF scheme, otherwise we wouldn't have this incredibly soothing and satisfying GIF, we're just having trouble wrapping our minds around their thought process, that's all.
If you've got time to burn—maybe you're waiting at the doctor's office, or maybe you're at the salon getting your hair did—watching this thing loop is a great way to kill time. Better bookmark this post so you have this GIF when you need it.
11 Sand and Geometric Shape's glorious lovechild
Well, we guess there's no point in rummaging through the garage when we get home from work today to find our old shovel and pail to take to the beach this weekend, since we'll never be able to build a sandcastle as magnificent as this one. Heck, to call this one a sandcastle doesn't even do it any justice! Why, this thing is a veritable sand fortress!
It's so sleek and modern, with its perfect geometric shapes and neat lines and whatnot. We feel like we're watching a computer screen saver, or something. And we're torn here because half of us just wants to look at it forever, and the other half of us wants to run into it and destroy it. This one's a tough call.
10 We bet this flower was voted best-looking in high school
Flowers are pretty, well, pretty as it is. Roses, daisies, carnations, sweet peas—they're all so different, yet they're all lovely in their own way, even if they're not as perfect as this flawless dahlia. That said, it really makes you appreciate this bloom's courtesy. It was so considerate of this flower to look so nice for us. It's really got our inner OCD feeling super zen. Thanks so much, flower. Ya done good.
This flower's petals are wonderfully uniform, but it didn't stop at that. Its rich pink coloring contrasts beautifully with the green in the unfocused background. This whole thing's gorgeous! How are any of us supposed to look photogenic when this picture's out there, floating around the internet, showing us up at every turn? Huh?!
9 Baked MacBook is one of our favorite dishes
We know what you're thinking: "Is that an iBaking Pan?" Apple may be a multi-billion dollar tech company, but they haven't quite mustered up the courage to test the waters in the cutthroat world of the bakeware production industry. No, what you're seeing here is a MacBook that fits perfectly into a baking pan—you know, for when you need to stick your laptop in the oven with some rosemary seasoned potatoes and balsamic glazed carrots for a delicious, hearty dinner.
We like baked apples, but we mean the fruit, not the expensive electronics. We just hope this person remembers they put their MacBook in their baking pan before they stick those oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in the oven, otherwise this soothing picture of perfection will become anything but.
8 Trees + buzz cuts = a good time
Love the trees, but we feel like if we walked down this street in real life, it would seem like we were navigating our way through a crappy 2D maze from a '90s computer game. That doesn't detract from this perfected feat of landscaping, but it still needed saying.
We've said it for years, and we are so happy to see that some landscapers out there have finally heeded our advice. Before we even graduated from high school, we adamantly (and quite bravely, we might add) declared that all trees planted in a row, such as the ones in the image above, should be given identical buzz cuts. Sure, they all laughed. They said we're crazy, and we are crazy—crazy about trees looking neat and tidy, that is.
7 A tidal wave of zen
Do you know what it feels like to realize that water is more photogenic than you? It hurts. It hurts a lot. We mean, we've seen the stock photos and the desk calendars and the generic computer backgrounds. We always knew that the ocean and other bodies of water were pretty amazing. But to see something as spectacularly perfect at this wave is a blow to any ego. No matter how great our selfies turn out, we'll never outshine this perfect wave.
The ocean's the star of this show, but the sky played a pivotal role, too. All of the blue in this picture has got us so calm, we feel like we've been doing nothing but juicing and following along with instructional Pilates DVDs for a whole year.
6 And we thought pretzels couldn't get any more perfect
Bread and bread products are perfect. Banana breads, dinner rolls, garlic knots, pull-apart sticky breads, buns of all varieties—heck, even cinnamon raisin bread, filled with otherwise disgusting and loathsome dried grapes, is perfect! All bread is amazing, so why would pretzels be any different?
We tried to make pretzels once. It was going just fine for a while. We got the dough mixed, we let it rise, it looked like it was supposed to. But then, the time came to twist them into the classic pretzel shape, and that's where it all went to crap. No matter how hard we tried, our pretzels came out looking like poorly tied shoestrings. It was embarrassing. This GIF is going to be such a lifesaver, plus, it's perfect and soothing! Hooray!
5 That's the coziest snow blanket we've ever seen
This snow looks like ultra soft name brand toilet paper, or like one of those eggshell foam pads that you can buy to add some extra cushioning to your bed. It looks so inviting, so soothing. Like if you touched it, it wouldn't melt in your hand like actual snow, instead, it would feel like velvet or satin.
How did it manage to look like that? Did the people who frequent that building set out some kind of gigantic snow mold, kind of like an ice cube tray, so when the stuff fell, it'd look as amazing as this? Because that seems like an awful lot of trouble, and also highly unlikely, but there's got to be some explanation for this quilted snow, and we want answers, dang it.
4 It's time for other scoops of ice cream to step up their game
Now that we've seen this ~supremely perfect scoop of ice cream~ we're not sure if we'll ever be able to go back to eating imperfect scoops of frozen dairy treats. Like, if we go over to our bestie's house for a binge-a-thon, and she hands us a bowl of sloppily scooped mint chocolate chip, it's gonna be difficult for us not to give her a disgusted look and rudely tell her we're snobs because we looked at a soothing picture of homemade vanilla on the internet once.
The saddest part about this lovely scoop of ice cream is we want to stare at it forever, but we can't because it'll only melt into a pool of deliciousness. We'd have no choice but to eat it. Sigh. Oh well.
3 For the first time in our life, yes. Yes, we *will* take the stairs
Oh, heck yeah! Would you look at these stairs? And the way that ramp effortlessly Z's right on through the middle of them? Niiiiiiice. You couldn't pay us to stop running up and down this thing. Of course, eventually we'd get winded, considering how out of shape we are, so our lack of physical fitness would put an end to our fun in thirty seconds or less, but still. It sounds like it'd be a good time.
Imagine rigging up a slip 'n' slide on that ramp. Ugh! Count us in! Sure, we're still in the middle of an unbearably cold winter, but we don't care. We're grabbing our bikini and a garden hose and, dang it, we're gonna slip and slide whether we freeze our goods off or not!
2 This balance beam rocks—literally
Looking at this picture for thirty seconds produces the same state of relaxation as spending an entire day at a spa—plus, it's a billion times cheaper to boot! You really can't afford not to look at this rock balance beam. So, do yourself a favor for once and give in to the temptation to stare. Go on. Look at it. Look at this picture. Look. LOOK AT IT! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT IT?!?!
Gravity? You're a cruel son of a gun. We'll never forget the way you allowed us to fall flat on our butt when we went to grab our diploma on graduation day. But sometimes ya do nice things, too, and for that, you have our respect.
1 Who needs the Fountain of Youth? This GIF will give you life!
Here it is. The most soothing and most perfect image on the internet, and, quite possibly, in the whole world. We did it, you guys. We found it. Wow. This is so powerful. Let's all have a moment of silence to take in the gravity of this occasion.
Yep, ahhhh. 2018's gonna be a pretty good year. How could it not be? How could 2018 not be the best year ever when you start it off by watching a corgi lope along a spinning merry-go-round? Huh? Yeah, that's right. It can't be done. This is a good luck charm in GIF form! Consider yourself blessed by this frolicking pupper. Now, go forth into the new year and OWN IT! You can do this. Happy corgi believes in you.
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