Over a lifetime, humans accumulate hundreds, if not thousands, of photographs of themselves. Some of these are selfies, some are taken by friends, some are shot by a school photographer and some are taken without you even knowing. There are some photographs, however, that will never be uploaded onto Facebook. Not by the person in it, at least. And those would be mugshots. Yep, as if getting arrested wasn't terrible enough, the police also shoot a close-up of your face (in horrid fluorescent lighting, no less!). Whether you grimace, smile, laugh, pull a deer in headlights look or contort your face in some weird way, it's hard to get a good-looking mugshot—a fact the people shown in this article are well-aware of. Yeah, these aren't just bad-looking, they're downright bizarre. Here are 15 strange mugshots you won't be able to forget.
15 The man who cross-dressed
Now this is a man we would love to sit down for a cup of coffee with. Who wouldn’t want to pick this guy’s brain? He’s clearly an incredibly interesting individual. Was he at a costume party when he got picked up for his crime? Is he an actor who was getting into character for his role as street peddler? Did he want to get arrested off the streets to see how it really was for gypsies? If so, this little trip to the station should provide him with plenty of material. The bright side is that he still has his get-up on so he doesn't have to fashion one out of weird materials from jail. It's all about looking for that silver lining!
14 The guy with the interesting "hair"
Given the somewhat remorseful expression this guy has on his face, we’re gonna go ahead and assume his life wasn’t always this bad. Maybe there was a point in time when he was a perfectly okay member of society. Maybe he had a desk job in an office, a wife, kids. Maybe he got his thrills from speeding on the highway and buying bootleg DVDs off the street. Maybe things didn’t start going downhill until he started balding. This put his midlife crisis into hyperspeed and he had the genius idea of tattooing hair back onto his head. Maybe he didn’t Yelp hard enough and he spent hours upon hours in a shady tattoo parlor, in a neighborhood he would never take his kids. He clearly fell in with the wrong crowd. If only he had bought Rogaine and called it a day, maybe this mugshot would have never been.
13 The man with the mysterious face
If there’s one thing that’s going to make you stick out like a sore thumb at the police station, it’s walking in with black soot all over your face. What happened here exactly? Is it this guy’s first week working at the coal mine? Did someone convince him that dressing up in blackface and posting Snapchat videos would be a good idea? Is this another blackhead mask gone wrong? Those things are really getting out of control. Whatever the situation is, this guy doesn’t seem too perturbed to be in jail. Sure, he’ll probably get the sh*t beat out of him just for showing up in this get-up, but from the smile on his face, we’d say he’s already thinking about how great a story this will make one day.
12 The man who gave no f*cks
Imagine a world where if and when you got arrested, the cops could see all the sh*t you’ve ever talked about them. Precinct walls would be lined with files, thick and thin. You would get arrested for trespassing in a park and would get a way worse punishment because of all the statuses you posted on your Facebook. We could just see it now. You’re in a hot interrogation room. A cop strolls into the room with a file as thick as the last Harry Potter book and you start cursing under your breath. “We see that on October 9th you referred to police officers as 'racist pigs with batons.' Tell us a little more about that.” The questioning would go on and on into the night. Well, the guy in this mugshot doesn’t have to wait for this dystopian future; he made it for himself. Come on, dude, if you were going to tattoo “F*ck cops* in the middle of your forehead, you probably shouldn’t be out doing illegal things.
11 The man with peculiar ears
Okay, we’ve seen pierced, tattooed and stretched earlobes before, but we’re not even sure of what’s happening here. Did this guy slice the bottom of his earlobe clean through in order to wrap it around the rest of his ear? And more importantly, was this facial expression a conscious choice or simply the way his face contorts from the bizarre ear stretching? Is there some sort of logic behind this body modification? Does it make it easier to hear when someone’s coming? Is this guy actually a genius criminal who has figured out a way to hear footsteps from a mile away? We just have so many questions for this dude. Thankfully, he has a pretty identifiable feature for us to track him down with.
10 This risqué model
Uh…this mugshot is making us kinda uncomfortable. This doesn’t look like a mugshot as much as it does a head shot for an amateur porn site. Or maybe this girl wanted to take advantage of the professional camera at the police station and figured she could use the racy shot as her next profile photo on FB. Then again, she could have just been drunk and wildly attracted to the camera guy. Maybe he was into it. Maybe he snapped a picture with his phone for his own collection, too. Maybe he's gonna look this chick up in a couple of weeks and send her a DM on Instagram. Maybe one day they'll have a beautiful family that will play music and tour the countryside. Who knows?
9 This stressed out dude
You okay bro? You’re looking a little uncomfortable right now. Are the cops not letting you go to the bathroom? Are you holding in something gnarly right now? Did you just realize that you left your weed stash in the car? Or that you didn’t write down where your car was when the cops arrested you and you know you’ll never be able to remember? Yeah, we’ve been there. Minus the arresting part. Just the forgetting where we parked part. Sorry, we’re going off on a tangent. Point is, this guy either wanted to scrunch up his face until most of the features on it were distorted or was simply photographed in the middle of a brain melting moment. The chances are about 50/50 in either direction.
8 This man and/or demon
Body modifications and adornment are a way for people to express themselves. People often use tattoos and piercings to show another facet of their personalities. All we’re saying is, we’re a little scared of what facet this guy is showing off. Perhaps his inner demon? Or maybe he was going for that Fantastic Five rock dude look? If so, he’s nailing it. I’m sure all of his buddies at the heavy metal bar totally high-fived him with each new addition to his face. The officer who arrested this guy probably wasn’t as tickled, but that’s a whole other issue. Now the question is, how are those bumps on his forehead actually accomplished? Do we want to know? What does the tattoo on this guy’s face mean? Should we get a linguist in here? A hieroglyphic expert? Maybe we shouldn't try to find out.
7 Just a guy and his favorite parrot
Getting arrested is inconvenient, to say the least. The police don’t care if you have a train to catch, a friend to meet or a pet to feed. Well, we hope they care about that last one sometimes. Apparently this man right here went to his court date with his birdie friend in tow under the assumption that the procedure wouldn’t take very long. He was wrong about that and eventually had to reign his bird in and be taken into custody. Since the bird was by his side, it was only polite to include the feathery friend in the shot as well. It’s actually a pretty nice photo. Maybe one day this guy can Photoshop a beach in the background and claim that it was from a vacation in Puerto Rico.
6 The dude who clearly got interrupted
Ugh, cops can be so rude, right? The way they bust down doors, don’t care about ruining your belongings and certainly don’t mind interrupting your day! If there’s one person who knows this to be true, it’s the guy in this mugshot. We’re gonna go ahead and assume his hair, both on his head and on his face, are unintentional. At least we hope so. The more logical explanation is that this unlucky fella was in the middle of his grooming routine when cops bust in to arrest him. Why he was shaving his beard and hair at the same time is beyond us, but it sure made for a quirky photo op. He doesn’t seem as pleased about the look as we are but considering he doesn’t look like he just smoked a hit of crystal meth, we’d say he probably looks better than 90 percent of the other mugshots taken that day.
5 The undercover alien
Okay, don’t judge us for including this one. There is a line between just having a big forehead and being suspiciously alien-like, and this mugshot crossed it. C’mon, look at those sketchy eyes and tucked lip. This guy is clearly hiding something. His glasses, polo and goatee may all scream middle-aged normalcy but his eyes totally give it away. Just take us to the spaceship, dude. We’ve seen enough alien movies, we’re ready. Or do we have it all wrong? Can you read our thoughts right now? Is that big skull simply a home for an equally large brain capable of way more than a regular old human brain? Should we actually be bowing to you right now, all superior being? Well, we wish we knew this before you got arrested.
4 This yawny fellow
Someone’s a little sweeeepy. Quick, get this mugshot over with so this guy can go take a nap. We totally understand, dude. Getting arrested for DUI is an exhausting ordeal. And by the time all of the paperwork is done with, your buzz is all but gone, amiright? Yep, this picture is totally representative of that time in the night when you’re over dancing, aren’t drunk enough to go on an adventure but aren’t sober enough to go back home yet, and you’re debating passing out right where you are and seeing who the designated driver is and forcing them to drive you to Taco Bell. This may or may not be this guy’s exact thought process at the time this photo was taken. And we don’t even consider that assuming, that’s just straight up probability.
3 This (kind of) rebellious chick
We kind of wanna give props to this girl, we kind of wanna tell her to stop. Yeah, flipping off or sticking your tongue out at authoritative figures is a good time, we’re not denying that, but right after you get arrested? Not as much. Now, this would be a hilarious move if she did it on her way OUT of the precinct as opposed to her way IN. Without a doubt. But with the combination of this girl’s childish hand gesture, silly face, pink shirt and melon advertisement on said shirt, it just doesn’t look as threatening as she was probably hoping it would. Yeah, if we could give this girl some mugshot advice, we'd say to just go with flipping the camera off. It's a tried and true favorite for a reason.
2 This udderly beautiful woman
Thank you, Universe. Thank you for aligning whatever stars you had to align, conjoining the appropriate energies and just making it possible overall for this momentous mugshot to take place and bless us with its highly laughable content for our viewing pleasure. We don’t know if this outfit is this woman’s typical Sunday night getup, her mandatory employee attire for the dairy company she represents or just her idea of a good time, but we celebrate it. Sure, the udders are a little unsightly and without a smile on her face, the outfit doesn’t tie together quite as nicely, but at the end of the day this is a woman in a glorious cow costume getting her mugshot taken. And for that, we should be thankful.
1 This hair imposter
Okay, we’ve got another hair imposter here. Or at least, former hair imposter. It looks like originally his clever plan was to fake a crew cut using a well-positioned tattoo. Unfortunately, it looks like that plan fell off track…somewhere behind his ears. Yeah, this has got to be the strangest mullet we’ve ever laid our eyes on. Especially because the hair isn’t just growing in normal back there. It’s been dreaded. That means that it started growing in one day and this guy had a decision: should I continue with my devious crew cut deception plan and shave it off or should I just let it grow in? And with a confident smile he said, I’ll let it grow in! And then when it grew in, he went one step further and dreaded his hair. That’s a whole lotta bad decisions in a row.