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15 Subtle Savages Who Totally Won The Internet

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “savage” as being “un-domesticated or under human control”, which we would usually use to describe an animal or maybe a feral child if those still even exist. But if you’ve been keeping your nose to the social media grind, you already know that times have changed. Savage still holds this meaning for the most part, but now we use it almost as a term of blandishment. People want to be savage. Not everyone fully succeeds at being a savage, but those who do live in the limelight that is the Internet share their forms of savagery. To get just a little bit of an idea of what a real savage looks like, check out the people below who had no problem low-key flaunting their inner selves.

15 When This Person Tackled A Deer

Yeah, you read that correctly. In the light of day in some forsaken Walmart somewhere in the United States, a deer burst through the doors and made a muck of the store. What this deer didn’t see coming was that the man it ran into, would not cower in fear like most other people would. Oh no, he took action. Like the true savage that he is, this man was not going to let this deer get away with ramming into him in his own Walmart. So, what did he do? He chased it down, cornered it, and took it to the ground before putting in a headlock to keep it from getting away. Luckily, this savage was conscious that this deer is still a living, breathing animal and chose to wrestle it to the ground with care.

14 When This Person Used Their Huggle Date

For those who don’t know, Huggle is a dating app that lets you connect with ~ hot ~ singles around you. Dating apps like these get a bad reputation because not everyone is looking for the same thing per say. However, sometimes you hit the jackpot. And other times you hit the jackpot twice, like this savage who used Huggle to find his/her future husband. The rest should all be history, like his/her review suggests. One crucial detail that this Huggle user only briefly brushes over is exactly what makes him/her a savage. The hot guy that this person used Huggle to meet with is the not the person she/he ends up with...  They end up with the hot guy's brother instead and now they have THREE children. Um, whatever happened to your now brother-in-law? This person is a savage for coming between siblings, that's for sure.

13 When This Person Threw An Absurd Amount Of Shade At Their Ex

The majority of break-ups are messy. Truthfully, it’s expected for a break-up to leave rotten feelings behind because why would you be breaking up in the first place if there isn’t some sort of bad blood going on between the two of you? After that, your ex who you still clearly have negative feelings (or maybe even bitter romantic feelings) towards becomes an easy target for cruel jokes like this. The savage who posted this tweet originally is making a healthy jab at their ex to get the point across that there is (and probably always will be) negativity there. This person implied that not only is this person garbage, but they only deserve equally trashy people as mates in life. It's a little harsh but we can admit that a few ex’s of our own came to mind when we first saw this.

12 When This Person Unsavorily Rearranged Barnes & Noble

Ruthless

A post shared by Jessica Anteby (@beigecardigan) on

As the caption of this photo explains, this unnamed man was removed from a Barnes & Noble because he took all of the Bibles and moved them to the fiction section. Whether or not this was a harmless, spur-of-the-moment prank, or an intricately devised plan before he even went in the store, this guy wanted the world to know that he believes that religion is all fabrication. Most people take to the Internet to disrespect religion and boast about their disbelief in it. But not this guy. He made actual moves to demonstrate how he really felt, which is almost impressive. He didn’t hide behind a computer screen and taunt people who couldn’t do anything about it; he woke up that morning, put on his big-boy savage pants, and showed the world what he really thought. Props for bravery but not so much for the disregard for others.

11 When This Person Answered A Phone Call In The Middle of Taking Graduation Pictures

Graduation season comes with layers and layers of things to do before the whole thing is official. Most of these things are fun, but a lot of them are tedious, because all you really want is your diploma and to move on with your life. One of these things is taking a class picture; they’re hard to organize, they take forever, and you usually can’t really see yourself or the people you care about. But the class picture paid off for the savage in this tweet. @ParkAvenuePuta was spotted on their phone even though the picture was being taken. Many people stress about photos like these, but not @ParkAvenuePuta. They're cool as a cucumber, chatting on phone, and looking fabulous in their cap and gown.

10 When This Person Threw Their Mom Under The Bus

Take one for the team moms.

A post shared by Jessica Anteby (@beigecardigan) on

We have quite a predicament going on in this post. What seems to have occurred is Miranda left her baggie of pot on the kitchen counter, and this said baggie of pot was found by her dad. When her dad confronted her about it, she told him the pot belonged to her mom. Now, it’s one thing to not to claim the drugs as your own when your parents find them. Our natural response is to deny, deny, deny. But Miranda takes it a step further by blaming it on her very own mother. This is an insanely ballsy move, but what really makes Miranda a savage is that she didn’t hesitate to tell her mom the truth about lying to her dad. Sorry girl, but your mom is gonna rat you out so fast.

9 When This Person Couldn’t Be Bothered By Someone Else’s Feelings

We can’t be completely sure about the circumstances of this interaction. We do speculate, however, that the sender of this text message is an ex-lover or maybe even an ex-friend of the receiver and that they were missing them. There are a few things you can do when receiving a text message like this from someone like that. If you miss them back, you can just say so. Simple as that. If you don’t miss them back, you can just not answer. No response means no awkward conversation which only makes everything even more simple. Your third option is that you can be a complete savage like the receiver in this situation and reply if only to make it blatantly obvious that they could not care less about your sappy feelings.

8 When This Person Rightfully Put Someone In Their Place

Believe it or not, there are people in this world that still believe the Earth is flat. Yes, even though this theory was thwarted by undeniable scientific findings, there are still enough people in the year 2017 to form and maintain The Flat Earth Society. On this day, The Flat Earth Society, decided to make one simple announcement; this society has members all around the globe. Not all around the world, all around the globe. So, Physics-Astronomy.com, like the savages that they are, decided to fire back at this nonsense announcement in a subtle—but undeniably ballsy recant—to make the members of The Flat Earth Society rethink not only this singular Facebook post, but the basis of their entire operation as well. Nice job Physics-Astronomy.com, nice job.

7 The Best Way To Have Kale

For one reason or another, kale has become insanely popular over the last few years. And even that is a bit of an understatement. People are so obsessed with this stuff, that they're even stitching the word on their clothing. As a superfood, kale is used as a substitute for lettuce and other leafy greens in many dishes for an extra little kick of health in your diet. That being said, there is literally thousands of different ways to cook and eat this stuff. You can argue it’s best served as a salad, but this person begs to differ. They believe that kale is best served hot, with a dash of coconut oil, and then dumped directly into the trash. Coming from someone who has tried this method, I can fully back up that it’s by far the best way to serve kale.

6 When This Person Couldn’t Care Less About How Others Felt About Their Hair

Sometimes we make drastic changes in our lives. It could be us making a move from one side of the country to the other. Or sometimes it’s the decision to drop out of college. Other times it could be cutting all of our hair off like the receiver in this text message conversation. And we should all give a standing ovation to this short-haired beauty because she seemed super pumped for her new hair cut! But then this dude she’s telling has to come along and try to put her down by saying that her haircut just isn’t going to work for him. Instead of conforming to what her potential lover would want, she decides to fire back with what is potentially one of the most savage clapbacks we’ve ever seen in our lives. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it, sir.

5 When This Person Just Took A Piece Of Pizza From Someone Else’s Car

So, what we have here are two people: someone who wasn’t thinking and an opportunist. The simple facts of the matter are that someone bought several pizza slices, including a nice-looking pepperoni pizza, left them in the car with the windows down while they popped into Walmart, then realized their car was robbed when they came back. The only thing missing? One slice of pepperoni pizza. Don’t get us wrong, we would totally be freaked out to know someone else just reached into our car and took something that didn’t belong to them. But you can’t really blame a savage like the person who committed this crime for seeing an amazing opportunity like this and not taking advantage of it. The only thing more savage than stealing one slice of pizza from an open car window would’ve been taking the entire pizza.

4 When This Person Uninvited A Vegan To Their BBQ

This story of savageness begins when Johnny decides to have a barbecue. Johnny makes a group chat for the guests he invites and then asks if any of them are vegans. At first, this seems like it’s the beginning of a thoughtful gesture to acquire food that is suitable for vegans to eat at this beloved barbecue. So, when Sara responds back to Johnny saying that she is a vegan, we expect Johnny to then ask what she’d like to eat or maybe if she’ll be bringing her own food. Instead, Johnny turns into a complete savage and removes Sara from the group. This is a play right out of the Ron Swanson playbook who is the original savage when it comes to eating meat (and only meat).

3 When This Person Took Their Yearbook Quote To A Whole New Level

Ayyyyye.

A post shared by The Tasteless Gentlemen Show (@thetastelessgentlemen) on

In the yearbook, every person that’s graduating gets a senior picture (sometimes more) and a designated area of space under their picture to write whatever they want. These are called “senior quotes” and they are intended to encapsulate something reminiscent or inspirational. Many choose to use this space to encourage their classmates to succeed, while others use it to put a funny, quirky quote from a TV show like The Office. Then, there are savages like Markie who choose to use this space to share the wildly inappropriate—but accurately substantial fact—that we can’t choose who our father is, but we can choose our daddy. And for those who are behind in the lingo, people now call their boyfriends and boothangs their “daddy.” Right on, Markie.

2 When This Person That Got Drunk In A Kiddie Pool In The Middle Of The Day

@thefunnyintrovert is absolutely killing it right now

A post shared by @ drgrayfang on

We wouldn’t necessarily consider getting drunk to be savage. People all over the world at every minute of every day are getting drunk. Maybe not everyone is getting crazy and blacked out, but alcohol is very popular just about everywhere. And even those who are getting crazy and blacked out aren’t necessarily savage either — they’re just avid partiers. We do, however, consider getting so drunk in a kiddie pool in the middle of the day to be pretty darn savage. Think about it: you have to have some kind of balls to go in a kiddie pool without a kid in the first place. Not everyone is brave enough to do that. But to get wasted enough to need help from the lifeguards in front of small children in their domain? That, my friends, is downright savage.

1 When This Person Used A Childhood Classic To Get Out Of Something

Sorry babe.

A post shared by Elliot Tebele (@fuckjerry) on

We’ve all been in situations where someone we may not really like asks us to do something. Or maybe someone we really like asks us to do something we really have no interest in doing. It’s a tough situation to deal with because you can’t decide which is worse: dealing with the person’s reaction to your rejection or actually doing the thing you really don’t want to do. That’s why we blame everything on mom. You’re completely off the hook if mom says no because you don’t have a say in it. This tactic to get out of things has a 99% success rate. But that’s only if you actually live with your mom. You could maybe get away with this in your 20's if the person didn’t really know you and your living situation. On the contrary, using this excuse with someone who knows you well enough to know you don’t live with your mom is one savage move.

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