There is nothing cuter than seeing little kids trying to get away with stuff – from hiding candy to falsifying your signature on a failed test.
I remember when I was a little kid my mom needed to sign a weekly paper that said that I had completed my homework in time; well, one day I forgot to ask her and I had the audacity of falsifying "my dad's" signature. I had no idea how a signature was supposed to look like or represent (I was like 6 at the time, don't judge me) so I decided to just make a bunch of circles one on top of the other. My teacher didn't say a thing, but she obviously knew that the signature was definitely not my dad's. She probably talked to my mom about it, but the incident was never mentioned again.
Take a look at some similar stories from Redditors, they are absolutely hilarious!
15 The Candy Refill
"I'm a little late to the party, but when my dad was a kid, he and his brother would always sneak candy from my grandpa's car. In the last few days of my grandpa's life, he and my dad were reminiscing old memories. My dad confessed to him about his candy stealing, and my grandpa said he knew all along and would refill it every day for them.
That was one of the only times I've seen my dad cry, and every time I think about this instance, I put myself in my dad's shoes.
I just can't imagine what it would be like to lose my dad.
Edit: Wow! Thanks for my highest voted comment, and thanks for the gold! It really means a lot!! :)" Reddit user [deleted].
This story simply made me cry, and I'm pretty sure it is not just the pregnancy hormones. Dads like this are the best!
14 The Rocket Launchers
"My wife was changing my 9 year old son's sheets when she called me upstairs. He had 10 ripped pages from the women's bra and underwear section from the Sears catalogue. He had stuffed the pages between the bed spring and mattress. There was writing on the pages like "cool" and "rocket launchers" beside the model's breasts. The wife and I had a good laugh." - Like2Troll
This is the funniest thing ever! I have a younger brother but I had no idea this was something that boys did at some point in their lives. We were also not very "catalogue-y" people, I guess. I do love how this little dude decided to make his own comments on the catalogue pages, and I particularly enjoy the "rocket launchers" comment. That is simply genius!
13 The Falsifier
"My six year old daughter forgot to turn in her homework packet one Friday. Having forgotten it again the following Monday, her teacher sent home a note for us to read and sign. It merely mentioned that although it was the first time she'd forgotten it, it couldn't become a common problem. She was terrified. She is a good student and loves school. In a panic, she decided to cram her homework in her backpack and sign my name on the teacher's note.
Except instead of my name, she wrote Mom. As in capitol M with a period.
When asked by her teacher if I had really signed it, she nodded. She showed her the sheet. Pointed at the signature. What is your mother's name?
She fell apart like a twinkie dipped in hot cocoa.
I was more mad that she didn't realize I had my own name. I mean, she's six. I have a name!" - isstronglikebull
Yes, this is Mommy M. McMommerson, thank you for calling.
12 The Dog Feeder
"My Dog has a sensitive stomach and cannot hold down table scraps. When the nephew spends the weekend at my place, the dog always ends up throwing up in the house. The dog freaking LOVES the boy, too. Whenever I ask him if he ever feeds the dog people food, he always says, "No, 'cause you told me not to and that would be bad. I love you, Uncle ThatGuyAmI."
Only kid I've ever known that somehow puts away all of his vegetables." - thatguyami
We have all been that kid with the extra fat dog that gets to eat everything that we do not want. Since it is a very common problem, I would suggest to every parent to sit down with their kid to teach them about certain foods that dogs should not be eating – even though they probably really want to – in order to reduce the risk of an accident with their pooch.
11 The Gamers
"My father used to hide the power cord to the computer so that my brother and I won't play computer games all day after coming back from school. The solution? My bro and I went through my parent's room with a fine-toothed comb until we found the cord and proceeded to play Red Alert or Mechwarrior all day until my dad came home. But my dad is sneaky, he'd feel the computer when he got back and feel whether it was hot (from being used) or not. And he would sometimes come back at lunchtime to check us out. Eventually after this game going back and forth for a while, with us getting caught sometimes and my dad moving the cable somewhere else, he took to taking the cable with him to work. My bro and I finally got off our asses and simply bought a spare power cable." - not_mr_right
10 The Free Jar of Honey
"When I was younger, my mom was the biggest health nut and we never, ever had any junk food in the house. In grade four, our teacher took my class on a field trip to a local plant that produced honey and, at the end of the trip, each kid got a free jar of honey. Motherf'ing jackpot. Instead of giving it to my Mom when I got home, I ripped a hole in the back of this giant teddy bear I used to have and hid it in there. For the next two weeks, every time I went to bed I would merely pretend to sleep for about half an hour and then slowly sneak out of bed, grab my honey stash, and silently sit with my ear pressed to my bedroom door while eating honey using my fingers and basking in my smug sense of self satisfaction." - frothy_walarus
9 The Chocolate Thief
"When I was young boy, I thought that I was a master thief. I would steal chocolates from the Quality Street tin in the kitchen drawer, and discard the wrappers by stuffing them deep into the crevices between the seats of the sofa in the living room. Because my little hand couldn't reach the decking of the sofa, I thought that the dark crevices lead to a whole new world and that my wrappers would be safely disposed. Nope. My mum did her quarterly hoovering of under the seats and found a sea of brightly coloured wrappers of all types of confectionery. I tried to blame it on my younger sister, but the fact that she couldn't yet walk kind of scuppered my plans." - ariiiiigold
That is simply adorable! I wonder if that is exactly what my toddler thinks when he stuffs his Cheerios between the couch. Is he expecting them to simply disappear? To go directly to the trash? Because if he does, I have some news for the little buddy – my hand-vacuum knows better.
8 The Pocket Lover
"My three-year-old LOVES pockets. She absolutely must be wearing an item of clothing that has a pocket and has been pretty insistent about it for nearly a year.
She collects things in her pockets throughout the day that I'm not allowed to take out or see. Somehow, she hasn't realized that I empty her full pockets every night after she's in bed, and she's still convinced that it's her grand secret.
The thing is, I love it. It's like a little window into her world and what she finds most valuable. Today it was 2 raisins, a small sparkly rock and a handful of pine needles." - risanli
I think this is the cutest thing ever! I love how this little three-year-old is smart enough to find and keep those things that she values as treasures. The fact that they are raisins, rocks and pine needles gives you a glimpse into what really matters for kids (hint: it almost never involves an electronic device).
7 The Butter Fanatic
"When my daughter was between the ages of 3 and 7, we'd irregularly find fingermarks dug out of the butter, where she'd just grabbed a big handful of it and shoved it in her mouth.
At 3, not so weird. At 7, you start to question their sanity.
I asked her one morning when I noticed the fingermarks dragged through the butter, 'So, how was the butter?' and she stared at me like I was psycho, rolled her eyes, and said, 'Come on, Mom, I don't do that anymore, it's not like I'm 6.'
And the whole time, she has this gigantic blob of butter in her hair right above her ear. Siiiigh." - Chibette
That must have been a pretty funny scene, watching her blatantly deny that she is eating any butter – after all, it is not like she is a six-year-old anymore – all while sporting a gorgeous blob of butter. I love it!
6 The Blanket
"My daughter is 3 and believes that all adults are incapable of finding anything she puts a blanket over.
Sometimes it's cute: 'Daddy I bet you can't find the TV.'
Sometimes it's evil: 'Daddy I hid your keys so you can't leave the house.'
Sometimes it's creepy: walk into a dark room, turn on the light and find a sheet standing still in the middle of the room. 'Honey is that you?' - crazy giggling 'You can't find me' - 'Pretty sure you're under that blanket.' - more crazy laughter and no more words...
edit: Whoever gave me gold - many thanks." - billbapapa
If you cannot see it, it must not be there. I mean, that is the principle of illusionism after all. This girl might grow up to be the next David Copperfield.
5 The New Grade
"When I was in 2nd grade, I got an 'F' on some homework I didn't know how to do. I was so scared to show my parents but we had to get our parents to sign our assignments so the teacher knew they saw them. The girl that sat in front of me drew a line on the end of the F making it a shitty looking 'A'. My parents acted like they bought it hook, line, and sinker, put it on the fridge and wouldn't stop telling me how proud they were of me. I felt so guilty – worst punishment ever!" - 4Ever2Thee
There is nothing worse than your parents congratulating you when you know you did wrong and they are basing their proud parenting moment on a blatant lie. Oh jeez, parents are the worst; they were probably doing it on purpose to make the little second-grader feel bad about changing her grade.
4 The Pooping Incident
"When my son went to kindergarten he was still having some toilet-ing issues. He wouldn't poop away from home and definitely wouldn't poop away from home without me taking him. If we were out and he had to go he'd get all stone faced and press his butt against a hard surface till the urge passed and we hurried home. I tried to explain kindergarten didn't work that way. If he needed to poop nobody was going to run him home. Well, the first few weeks of school passed uneventfully until The Incident. One morning I got his clothes out of the closet and felt something hard in the pocket of his pants. I stuck my hand in and brought out what looked like a golf ball size brown rock. Weird rock, no biggie. Boys pick up weird rocks all the time, right? As I was examining this discovery my son walks in and stops in his tracks. His face goes pale and he starts gagging, points to this pocket treasure and says, 'It wasn't me. I didn't do it. I pulled my pants off in the bathroom and I think the cats must have pooped in the pocket!!!' Only then did it dawn on me – I was holding a petrified turd that he apparently took from his pants, placed in his pocket at school and the pants went through the washer and dryer-essentially tumbling, and rounding out and hardening into a grotesque sphincter souvenir. I quickly threw it away, accepted the cat story and to this day he still thinks I believe our cat pooped in his pocket a few years ago." - FirePink
3 The Report Card Genius
"I have a camera in my office (lots of confidential/sensitive files), and my kid doesn't know, so I've observed this.
He scrapes the grades off of his report card with an exacto knife (you can scrape toner ink off of paper), then he prints the grades he wants on a piece of paper, then he lines up his report card over the grades and tapes his report card over the paper, and runs it through the printer again, so the grades print exactly where he wants.
I'd call him out on it, but frankly I'm impressed. If he worked half as hard on his grades he'd be a genius.
Edit: Elaborated on 'toner'" - slicksoccaballa
That is exactly how I feel about people who bring cheat sheets to tests. They were so creative back when I was in school – like someone would destroy a watch to create a cheat sheets inside of it that made you look like you were just seeing what time it was – that I feel I went to school with pretty smart people that kept failing because they were lazy, not because they were dumb.
2 The Internet History
"Looked through my 12 year old son's iPod Internet history. He searched for boobs, world's biggest boobs, and sex in bed. I deleted it and have been pretending like I don't know.
I thought of another one: a few months ago after one of his long 'poops,' I went into the bathroom after him and saw a Cosmo on the floor next to the toilet. I hadn't recalled ever seeing this one. I asked him why he was reading it, and he said because he was bored. I noticed on the cover was something like, BEST SEX POSITIONS pg 178. I didn't want to, but I turned to page 178. The pages were stuck together. I threw it away. Washed my hands. And never spoke of it again." - Quarterafterfart
THE PAGES WERE STUCK TOGETHER! This is why it matters what you leave around the house, even if it seems as harmless as a woman's magazine.
1 The Drinker
"As a kid, I thought I was hiding my drinking from my dad by doing the old 'put water in the vodka' trick. He later called me out on it and told me that he knew I was drinking and to stop putting water in the shitty vodka... He kept all the good stuff in a locked cabinet in his room...
He also told me later he knew I was sneaking my girlfriend into my room, and was on a 'if I don't directly see it, it didn't happen' approach to the whole deal...
My dad was a cool guy in retrospect. All these were years after the fact." - boxaga
Seriously people, stop trying. Parents always know. It is like they have eyes behind their head and on the kitchen, your room, your school, every car and your girlfriend's house.