15 Things You Totally Do, But Will Never Admit To Doing

As much as we may try to play things cool, I think we all have embarrassing quirks or moments of self-doubt. Thankfully, we can learn to laugh at all of the silly things we’d never in a million years admit to doing thanks to the Internet turning the concept of relatable memes into an art form.

Whether the memes poke fun at our tendency to rock out in the car and pretend we’re world-famous singers, or our crippling self-doubt that sometimes leads us to cancel plans with our friends — reading these memes is reassuring because it reminds us that we’re not the only weirdos who do these things. For anyone who needs a bit of reassurance or is in dire need of a good belly laugh, the 15 following memes are a loving ode to all the things that we do when we’re home alone but would never admit to doing unless we’re completely smashed.

15 Some People Love Their Blood And Gore


Most people (like me) jump at every little thing if we can actually gather our courage long enough to watch a horror movie. I remember when I saw The Woman In Black — I kept cringing and jumping at every little creepy sound. I will fully admit that I had to resist the urge to screech in fright every time the ghost showed her face. Then there are the people who actually really get into horror movies when they’re watching them in the privacy of their own home and laugh hysterically whenever a character dies on screen. My boyfriend is like that. I remember when we watched the American Gods pilot together — he started cracking up when the disembodied Viking arm clutching a sword stabbed another Viking dude in the throat. Needless to say, I shook my head at his weird sense of humor, but I know he's not alone.

14 Pretty Much Every Halloween Fanatic Everywhere


Not even going to lie, this is SO me. The minute one leaf falls on the ground and the weather dips below 70 degrees in September, I bust out the Halloween decorations. I’ll also readily admit that I always keep my eyes peeled for cool Halloween decorations whenever I enter Duane Reade or another drug store in late August and early September. What can I say? I love the Halloween season because there are all sorts of cool ghost hunting television specials on, Hocus Pocus is constantly showing and I get the chance to wear cozy sweaters or hoodies. What’s not to like about that? Plus, the decorations are AWESOME. I love seeing how creative people get with their Halloween decorations, although I wish my neighborhood would go all-out the way they do for Christmas. Perhaps one day they will.

13 Have To Keep Those Acting Skills Sharp


Let’s have a show of hands: who HASN’T gotten really into a sad song and started pretending that they were filming a music video while driving? I know when I was a kid and I had to take long car rides with my family, I used to put on my Walkman (man, I feel old) and I’d open the window to let the wind whip my hair around my face. Whenever a sad song came on my cassette (again...old), I’d start pretending that I was the star of a music video. Heck, I remember when I was in college, my friend and I would blast music when we were in her car. Sometimes we’d get REALLY into it and basically act like we were in a music video. How the other drivers didn’t laugh at us and try to film the two of us making fools of ourselves is a miracle.

12 Laying On The Couch Doing Nothing Is The Best


American society is obsessed with work. Probably thanks to our Puritan heritage. In the eyes of many people, it is bad form to lie around doing absolutely nothing, even on our days off. I know there have been days where I was sick as a dog with the stomach virus from Hell and I’ve thought to myself “You know what? I am just going to lie down on the couch and not move. F*ck societal expectations that demand someone keeps themselves occupied even when they puking their guts up.” I won’t lie, it DOES feel good to just kick back on the couch and do nothing more strenuous than surf the Internet or watch Netflix. Our society needs to get its head on straight; there’s nothing wrong with just doing nothing on one’s day off or during a sick day.

11 Time To Drown In Embarrassment


I was rolling when I saw this meme because this used to be my BFF and I while we were in college. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but back in the day, we’d turn up the music as loud as it could possibly go and we’d basically start performing our own live concert while we were in the car. Most of the time, the other drivers didn’t notice or just ignored our antics. But there were always a few who would stare, point, and laugh — much to our chagrin. But who am I kidding, we didn't care. It was definitely enough to make us stop when we were at a red light, but we’d pick right back up again once we were on the move. How we didn’t end up on a viral YouTube video still baffles me to this day.

10 This Is Why My Showers Are So Long

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I guess the question I have for people is who DOESN'T do this? For a while I honestly thought that I was the only one who would review all of the situations I’m in or things I’m worried about and carry out fake arguments in my head while I take a shower. It’s nice knowing I’m not the only dork who does things like this — I'm not going to lie. I remember when I got into a huge fight with a trouble-making neighbor who claimed my dogs were “aggressive” because they barked at her. I would replay the scenario in my mind while showering and come up with funny one-liners to shut her up if she dared to try and pick a fight with me again.

9 Procrastinators Unite.... Tomorrow


I don’t think anyone likes to admit that they have procrastinated before a big exam, but it’s definitely something we’ve all done at one point or another. I tried to implement a nice study schedule when I was in college to prepare for midterms or finals, but there were some days where my brain was like “Nope, f*ck this sh*t.” There have been more times than I’d like to admit where I’d set a time to start studying and then I’d wind up pushing it back time and time again. Needless to say when that happened, I always wound up pulling an all-nighter and cramming for my test. If it wasn’t for Starbucks and their delicious coffee, I think I would’ve failed miserably. All hail Caffeina, goddess of caffeine!

8 Sleep Is More Important Than Writing


No matter if someone is a student with an essay deadline looming over their head or a professional author, sometimes writer’s block hits and it can hit HARD. I TOTALLY know the feeling described in this meme, as much as I hate to admit it because I pride myself on being a professional. I suffer from Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (which is like PMS and a few other mood disorders thrown together in a blender) and one of the CHARMING symptoms is brain fog. When the PMDD werewolf rears her ugly head, my brain is so fuzzy and it feels like it is stuck in molasses. I also get so tired that all I want to do is curl up and sleep. There have been a handful of days where I decided to take a quick nap and then return to my writing.

7 Me At The Dog Park, Not Even Going To Lie


Most people dislike drama when they are caught up in it, but I think deep down we all secretly enjoy watching it go down on the sidelines. I know I have totally been that nosey cat at my old dog park. There was drama going on pretty much every week. My personal favorite was when some jerk decided to let his aggressive dog into the park and got butthurt when the owner of a Shiba Inu told him to GTFO. I kid you not, this led to the jerk throwing a temper-tantrum worthy of a toddler and ripping the sign with the rules of the dog run off of the fence while arguing with the Shiba Inu’s owner. He then proceeded to bang the sign on the fence like an overgrown child. I won’t lie, I was sitting there wishing I had popcorn because it was HILARIOUS.

6 It Has To Be The Demons

Oh man, this is SO me. I LOVE watching paranormal investigation shows like the now-cancelled Paranormal State, the always classic Ghost Hunters, and Paranormal Lockdown on TLC. The downside of watching all of the shows about the paranormal is that every time Esme or Zoe start barking for no damn good reason in the middle of the night, I dive under the covers because I’m afraid if I look up, I’m going to see some demonic creature lurking in the corner of my bedroom. There have been times where I have toyed sleeping with a clump of sage or a bottle of Florida water or holy water next to my bed because I’ve gotten SO creeped out by my dogs yapping away at nothing I can see.

5 Quizzes Are Such Glorious Time Wasters


Reading this meme takes me back to my college years. Most of the essays weren’t THAT boring in hindsight, especially when it was for that one class I took on fairy tales. Every so often though, I’d get stuck writing about a topic that was boring as all hell. To make it worse, my brain would troll me by throwing writer’s block at my head. Thank goodness the Internet had glorious time-wasters such as quizzes that told me which Disney Princess I was or who my favorite ‘90s heartthrob crush was (it was Taylor Hanson, of course) in order to help me procrastinate while I was writing the most boring essays known to mankind. If it wasn’t for the Internet, I probably would’ve started stabbing a fork in my eye due to sheer boredom from the topic.

4 Pillows Make Great Blankets


I giggled when I saw this meme because I too know the feel of being too lazy to get up and grab a blanket, so I’ll use the pillows on the couch instead. This was especially true when i used to sleep over my friends' houses. I used to do it all the time when I was a kid. I’ll be honest, it was rather cozy and comfortable being surrounded by ginormous pillows. When I was a little tyke, I used to build a pillow fort and take naps inside of it for HOURS on end. That was the life, let me tell you. It was so nice being surrounded by comfortable pillows and snuggling in my fort. Sometimes I’d read or listen to music to pass the time, but inevitably I would wind up taking a nap.

3 I Think This Applies To All Broadway Musicals


Reading this meme reassured me that I’m not the only dork to secretly try to sing ALL of the parts in a song. I ADORE Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical The Phantom of the Opera, but it can be a total pain in the butt to sing along to when I am home alone. Especially the songs "Notes" and "Prima Donna" when Raoul De Chagny, Madame Giry, Meg Giry, the two managers, La Carlotta Giudicelli AND freakin’ Ubaldo Piangi are all singing at the EXACT. SAME. F*CKING. TIME. I usually wind up making a fool of myself and give up in my attempt to sing along. Thankfully, only my dogs Esme and Zoe are around to see my pitiful singing attempts. Although I’m sure they’re thinking to themselves “Wow, our owner’s a dork.”

2 Anxiety, Is That You?


As someone with pretty gnarly anxiety, I know this feeling all too well, as much as I hate to admit it. It kicks into overdrive whenever I make plans to hang out with my friends. My anxiety likes to troll me by keeping me up late and whispering “Maybe they really ARE just tolerating you.” I know intellectually that it isn’t true, but anxiety is a cruel b*tch. If I could drop kick my anxiety and self-doubt into a fiery volcano during sleepless nights, I totally would. I’d yell “BYE B*TCH” as I did so, too. Why humans evolved to have such crippling anxiety, I have no idea. WTF kind of advantage does it hold now? It’s not like we constantly have to run away from hungry Saber-Toothed Tigers like our ancient ancestors did.

1 Aunt Flo Is Always Trying To Ruin Our Days


For all the uterus-bearers out there, I think we can all secretly relate to this meme. Before I was diagnosed with PMDD and put on Yaz, I had cramps that I was CERTAIN were sent from the ninth circle of Hell. Unfortunately, they NEVER occurred on the weekends or when I was home. Oh no, Aunt Flo waited until I was in school or at work before sending out the hellish menstrual cramps. I used to work at a children’s party center back when I was in college, and trying to keep cool or act cheerful in front of the little ones should’ve been in Dante’s Inferno. Looking back on my time working there, I don’t know how I didn’t collapse on the floor from the pain when Aunt Flo decided to be sadistic AF.

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