www.thethings.com

15 Thoughts We Have Every Time We Watch Riverdale

In case you are lost in some alternate universe, there is no way that you don’t know about Riverdale. The CW show premiered in early 2017, it’s based on the Archie comic books and features all the main characters. However, Riverdale is not as happy-go-lucky as the comic books, in fact, it's a far stretch from what the classic cartoon characters are known as.

For the most part, people are excited about this show; the CW collaborated with Netflix (to ensure some level of success) and it has all the makings of a tween-obsessed drama. The brooding bad boy, the mysterious person whom all the viewers try to figure out before everyone else, the teenage B word and of course the good girl who is both smart and gorgeous. But, let’s be honest, we can’t be the only ones watching this show and racking our brains over the simplest of things. What’s going on with Betty’s ponytail? How is Archie both an outcast indie type but also plays the role of a popular jock? Or why did they make such a big deal out of that gunshot? Here are a few more thoughts we have while watching Riverdale.

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

Start Now

15 God Luke Perry Has Aged

via Elle

Luke Perry was fine as hell back in the days of 90210 along with every lifetime movie he was ever in. He always played the heart-throb and had a killer smile. That’s why it's so crazy to see him now aged and all mature and manly. There is no question that Perry is an older, more distinguished man now but thankfully for him, he’s still managed to hang onto his looks. We never think that our celebrity crushes will grow up. We are so selfish we assume that they should always maintain their looks for our own interest. Fortunately for us, Perry still looks great and there is something about watching him be a father that makes him even more attractive. You can’t say you’re not happy about him being back on TV.

14 So Jughead Is Wearing A Hat Not A Crown?

via Comicbook

If you ever read the Archie comics you would know that TV Jughead is way different from comic book Jughead. Comic book Jughead is goofy, absolutely not a writer, can barely put a coherent sentence together and of course, he is not considered town trash. One thing they did get right was his crown hat only in the comics his crown was a real crown. It’s a bit distracting and awkward to watch Riverdale and see Jughead wearing a hat that you would only realize is a crown if you looked hard enough. The crown is Jughead’s signature article of clothing he wouldn’t be Jughead without it. That being said, we can’t knock the writers, producers, and director too hard; it would be awkward if he walked around town wearing a real crown. We must admit it is a clever adaption.

13 Cover Girl Is Really Getting Their Money's Worth

via Den of Geeks

It is so hard to give this show my full attention when I am constantly distracted by the awkward product placement. Cover Girl must be making a killing off this show, almost every scene has someone strategically putting on one of their lip glosses or beating their face with a foundation. It is one of the most blatant acts of product placement on TV in a while. It’s hard to pay attention to the storyline as it just makes viewers want to buy chubby tinted lip glosses. We aren’t hating on the product placement we are mostly hating on how awkward all the actors (mainly the girls) are when they unknowingly look directly into the camera and make sure the label is facing front.

12 Was The Real Riverdale This Dark?

via CWonline

If you have never read an Archie comic you may assume that the original Riverdale is just as dark and dreary. You are wrong. Riverdale in the comics is bright and shiny and everyone seems happy which is obviously an unrealistic portrayal of life. We should admit TV Riverdale is better it’s more cultured, sketchy, it rains, you know, normal earth stuff. One must wonder though what happens behind the pages of Riverdale? What happens to the characters that are just page fillers? There have been a few issues of Archie where he is in an alternate universe; one where he marries Betty, one where he marries Veronica, one where he marries Kevin and even one where Archie meets his fate in a public shooting. Maybe Riverdale really is that dark.

11 Does Anyone Else Think Twin Peaks When Watching?

via Deadline

It is clear that the creators of Riverdale are trying to put a new spin on the much-loved Twin Peaks. Can you blame them? Our generation needs a show like Twin Peaks that will be talked about decades from now to the point where a reboot or spin-off is inevitable. The similarities are uncanny; a dead teen, a small, creepy town, suspicious neighbors, the bad people from the wrong side of town, they even have Madchen Amick. We will admit, it’s exciting to watch just to see what will happen with all these characters. Unfortunately, while I’m watching all I can think is, when will the big city detective come to town to muck it up some more. Am I the only one who’s feeling a Twin Peaks vibe? Please tell me I’m not crazy.

10 Betty’s Mom Is Cray-Cray

via TVLine

Oh my gosh, Betty’s mom is one of the most annoying characters on the show. She is suspicious of everyone the only thing that comes out of her mouth is lies or straight up hatred. She treats Betty like hot garbage and she is always so eager to air out everyone’s dirty laundry. When it comes to her own, god-forbid you even open your mouth to begin speaking. There is so much wrong with Alice Cooper that it is maddening, the idea that she has to wonder why her other daughter Polly is so rebellious is puzzling. Every time she comes on-screen I can’t help but wonder how wonderful Betty, Polly, and her husband’s lives would be if she just let up one time or disappeared.

9 Jason and Cheryl Blossom’s Relationship Is So Questionable

via Animo

The dead guy Jason Blossom seemed to have a pretty awkward relationship with his sister. Even though she is a complete B-word they are twins so of course, he saw the best in her. However, I can’t help but feel as though their relationship has crossed several lines. I know twins normally have a strong bond but, damn. Whenever they share a flashback of the two of them they are always doing something questionable; sharing a longing glance, holding hands while dreamy music plays in the background, everything is just so sensual. All I’m waiting for now is that incestuous kiss. The one that will decide whether I continue to watch in judgment or give up altogether. To be honest, Cheryl seems like the more obsessed one out of the two of them; it could be because she is in mourning so we will cut her some slack.

8 Kevin Keller Is A Force

Via Mic

Does anyone else notice that Kevin Keller adds a much-needed comedic flare to Riverdale not just the show, the town itself. He always has a witty comeback and a clear, concise look at things. Kevin is refreshing and apparently the only homosexual person in Riverdale until he crosses the tracks to the bad part of town. If this show lasts there could be some great storylines for Kevin. He even managed to turn out Moose (whether Moose wants to admit it or not). If you can get play from the wannabe captain of the football team and live to tell it you are on the right path. Kevin’s attitude is so laissez-faire, he doesn’t seem to care who hates or likes him and he isn’t afraid to call out his friends on their juvenile BS.

7 Josie And The Pussy Cats Are Bad Ass

via Comicbook.com

In the comics, Josie and her Pussycats were friends of the entire crew like Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Archie and Friends. One of the more noticeable changes to the Pussycats in the show is they are all African-American. Their music isn’t bad either. They are super talented, they write their own music and play their own instruments. They are local talent and everyone seems to love them. The girls are headstrong and take their future careers in music serious. They even teach Archie a thing or two when Grundy vanishes. While in the comics Josie is the leader of the group and what she says goes, in the TV show she isn’t running anything. Each girl has her own thing going on and believe it or not Valerie is more talented than Josie.

6 Molly Ringwald Is Everything

via People

SPOILER ALERT… if you are not caught up then you don’t know that Molly Ringwald made her début recently as Archie’s mom Mary. Of course in true Molly Ringwald fashion, she is everything. First, is she not the perfect person to play Archie’s mom? Besides the red hair, she always gives off awesome mom vibes like an underappreciated cool mom vibe. Maybe it IS the fiery red hair that makes us think that she is a total badass/the fun mom. Molly Ringwald has a great following so good job to the person who made the decision to bring her into the Riverdale universe. She is a much-needed refresher for the dark show and the dreary storyline. Besides she’s Molly freaking Ringwald. You can’t go wrong.

5 DAMN, Is that you Ms. Grundy?

via IGN.com

Uh, Miss Grundy is one of the best things about this show. She is mysterious, a little kooky, a low-key pedophile you know, just your typical high school music teacher. Ms. Grundy is drama and that makes her even better to watch, she so clearly wants Archie and Archie is crazy about her. How can he not be? Grundy is gorgeous. Like seriously, if she was a teacher when I was in high school I’m sure many students would have had massive crushes. Ms. Grundy in the show is a far stretch from Ms. Grundy in the comic books. Comic book Ms. Grundy is old, frigid and oh so mean. However, the twist that happens with TV Grundy is so delicious and makes so much sense in relation to the comic books.

4 What About The Murder?

via CBR

For a show about a murder they rarely acknowledge Jason Blossom. I get that in order to solve Jason’s murder they have to take a few side roads but, it seems like they get so easily derailed with things like Polly’s pregnancy. Several episodes have gone by where they haven’t even mentioned Jason’s name and for as much digging as they do there is no development. They are no closer to finding out who murdered Jason and why. This strikes me as the type of show that will drag you along for several seasons before you see any development and by the time you do half the audience is no longer interested. Unfortunately, for me, I’m sure I will punish myself by hanging on till the bitter end.

3 Where Do We Go?

via Mic

Since season one is well underway, it's safe to say that season two is guaranteed. There is a partnership with Netflix and the CW doesn’t give up on shows that easily especially when they amp it up with product placement. A season two of this show wouldn’t be horrible but really, where would we go from where we are at now? Am I wrong to assume that this will be a pretty little liars’ situation where by the end of the season we still don’t know who killed Jason and a bunch of other problems arise that take the shine away from the original storyline? There is no doubt that a lot of people will be curious enough to tune in but, its hard to see a clear path or even predict what is to come. Maybe that’s a good thing.

2 Veronica Is Spending A Lot Of Money For A Broke Chick

via New York Daily

Veronica Lodge’s storyline is based on the fact that her father stole a bunch of money from people, he’s in jail, has had his assets seized, and left his family broke. So can anyone explain to the masses why Veronica is living in a penthouse and spending a bunch of money. She’s always going on about shopping and offering to treat her friends to a night out. On top of her own expenses, Veronica and her mom are constantly ordering out she picks up food from Pop’s Choc-lit shop what seems like every night. Oh and they have a butler (although I believe he comes with the penthouse). The situation just doesn’t make sense and even though they received a mysterious bag of money it all went to some bribery plan. If you’re desperate enough to beg your ex-boyfriend for a job (*cough*Hermione) then you aren’t rich.

1 I Feel So Guilty Enjoying This Drama

via Hollywood Reporter

This show is such a guilty pleasure. If you don’t watch it you should, it is drama after drama after drama. Even if you read the comics and cannot fathom the idea of getting caught up and potentially ruining a comic you love, you should still give it a try. It's an easy watch and you don’t have to pay much attention. However, be warned one day you will snap out of its trance and ask yourself why you are even enjoying this show. No doubt you will feel guilty wanting to watch week by week and trying to get other people to watch it. It will be interesting to see how far this show goes and how deep you will get involved. Honestly, what else are you going to watch mid-week anyway?

More in Pop Culture