The CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls was cancelled this month, to my utter dismay. Some people clearly failed to appreciate its comedic flair like I did. The show’s six seasons followed the lives of Max Black and Caroline Channing on their quest to opening up their own cupcake business while working as waitresses at the Williamsburg Diner. For those who don’t know (I’ll let this one slide), Max came from humble beginnings while Caroline grew up a billionaire. The series starts with Caroline’s father being arrested for fraud, sending a penniless Caroline to the streets and shunned from her rich social circle. The two girls form an unlikely friendship, each having completely different life views and experiences. While some say that the show’s crude humor relies too heavily on crude jokes and stereotypes, sometimes you just have to admit… they say what EVERYONE is thinking!
15 When You Pretend Everything's Chill
Ah, “I’m fine,” the universal phrase for “I am so beyond pissed right now that I could slap you.” Let’s face it - when we’re mad, we like to pretend we’re not. We would rather people figure out their mistakes and apologize for them on their own. Admitting what’s wrong and speaking like adults might be responsible, but sometimes we like to make the other person sweat and feel a teensy bit guilty for their actions. That’s where ‘fine’ comes in, a neutral-sounding word that actually means the exact opposite. And when we’re ‘fine,’ there is no way we’ll admit anything is wrong, even when people show us memes like this one that speak to our soul. This is girl code. Read it. Learn it. Live it.
14 When You Want To Get Day Drunk
A latte? An americano? Vodka? Who knows! While drinking constantly isn’t totally appropriate nor good for your body, sometimes a sip of something strong makes things like shopping or sightseeing even more enjoyable. I think we’re grown-up enough to admit that we’ve all been here to some extent, whether it be a Starbucks cup or a McDonald’s fountain drink. A brand-name cup is the perfect vessel because you can divert all attention away from yourself in a way that a bottle of vodka just doesn’t make possible. Plus, you can usually pick up these types of cups pretty easily. For some reason, public drinking is still considered an misdemeanor in many places, so people have been getting creative. Next time you’re down for some day drinking, don’t deny yourself and take a tip from Sophie.
13 When You Need To Disconnect From Reality
Preach, girl, preach! There are 7.5 billion people on our beautiful planet. That’s 7.5 billion people with completely unique tastes, quirks, and ideals. For some reason, mass media thinks it’s cool to only represent a minute fraction of this, and consequently, these beauty standards are engraved into our cultures. People spend hours glossing through magazines and buying into the latest trends because that’s what they’ve been conditioned to do. Instead, people should define beauty for themselves. Spend more time worrying about yourself and less time worrying about others. Do things that you believe are beautiful, don’t do things because that’s what Kendall Jenner says she does in some magazine. The faster your realize this, the happier you’ll be. Take Max’s advice and be your own beautiful!
12 When You're Forced To Talk To Someone You Don't Know
This times 1000. If Kim K., the leader of one of the most recognizable families in the world, thinks it’s awkward, then it probably is. Unfortunately, this happens anywhere and all the time. At work, at the bar, at a party. In. Line. At. The Mall. If a mutual friend is there, things are usually alright - you can stand back and let them do the talking. But sometimes you’re put into an awkward AF situation where a literal stranger is trying to make unwarranted small talk with you. You can get lucky and the person might be cool and normal. Or you can get the opposite - a creepy weirdo trying to ask you about what shoe size you wear. Ummmmm bye. This is super awkward.
11 When You're Forced To Talk To Someone You Do Know But Don't Like
Your boss, your ex-friends, your neighbors… you can relate, right? This situation can be tricky because it’s quite hard to tell people to eff off without offending them. If you’ve come up with a way around this, please bless the world with your solution in the comments. Seriously. A typical culprit: that girl you were only kinda sorta friends with in high school. You run into her while running errands and suddenly she’s showing you pictures of her baby on her phone. Thanks but no thanks. Please let this conversation end now. The only solutions I can offer are the never-ending game of simply pretending you don’t see them or resorting to ordering your groceries online. I’ll let you know which one I end up choosing in a few years.
10 When You're Forced To Talk To People In General
Sometimes you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being around people. Now apparently there are some humans in the world who like speaking to other humans on a regular basis, but I think the majority would prefer just being left alone. It’s impossible for every one of us to be people people, right? Being forced to talk to people when you would rather not is the absolute worst. THE WORST! No, I do not care about your opinions. No, I do not care about your seven pet cats. In a perfect world, people would keep their inane opinions to themselves, or at least keep them on Facebook where I can unfollow them. This way nobody gets offended and everyone is happy. So basically, unless there is free food, please leave me off the list of attendees.
9 When You Run Into Your Ex
Run and hide! High up on everyone’s list of least favorite things is running into an ex-boyfriend or ex- girlfriend. You’re forced to do what whole “Hi, hello, how are you?” small-talk thing while your insides are screaming for you to run as far away as you possibly can. If you’re like Sophie and I, you probably pretended you didn’t see the person until they saw you. While I tend to go with the “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you,” bit, Sophie lays it down and says what everyone thinks they should say instead. Because seriously, who stays friends with an ex? Who gets excited about seeing them in public accompanied (worst of all) by their current lover? N - O - NOBODY! End of story.
8 When You're Having A Terrible Day
2 Broke Girls always on point! Every new day, there’s a new obstacle. Does there ever actually come a time when things start getting easier? It seems like we’re always thinking that being older and wiser will somehow also make life smoother… well we’re all wrong! There is only so much a single person can handle before exploding and I’m surprised that everyone keeps thinking it’s better to be quiet about it all. It is not better, you guys! Keeping your stress and anger balled up inside will only lead to a disaster that may or may not result in you crying in front of your boss at 11 am on a Wednesday. This, my friends, is the actual definition of a terrible day. And if you’re having one right now, I promise that my prayers are with you.
7 When You Realize You're An Adult Child
When you’re 8, you think 18 year olds are so cool and that your life will be the best once you reach that age. When you’re 18, you think, “Man, when I’m 28 I will have a job and I’ll have my whole life together.” And the next thing you know, you’re 58 and wondering if you should forfeit updating your air conditioning system to buy a trampoline for “your kids” instead. Some things never change! The older I get, I realize that most people are just as lost as I am (even though we’re all too “adult” to admit it). Max does not abide by these rules! She’s not afraid to say what she truly wants, even if that means gummy bears. So the next time you’re at a crossroad, remember that everyone’s thinking the same thing and YOLO it for once.
6 When You Try That Cheap But Sketchy Salon
“What was I thinking???,” better known as the phrase uttered by girls around the world after escaping that cheap beauty parlour. Groupon can be great, but it can also lead you to a nail salon that acts as a front for the brothel upstairs (true story). These situations are not exclusive to nails, either. Don’t forget spray tans, lash extensions, or botox. The worst part is that the Groupon deals actually do seem too good to be true. How can they afford to offer a service that sells for double the price elsewhere? Well, unfortunately for all women, they usually are too good to be true. Cheap services can only be offered through the use of cheap products or inexperienced technicians. This can mean orange tans, clumpy lashes, or stripper nails. A true 2 Broke Girls experience.
5 When You're Feeling Yourself
There is literally nothing more exciting than an empowered women. Over the course of history women have been oppressed and scrutinized by men (ok, not all of them) and mass media. Everyone has an opinion on how women should look and act, so much so that it’s almost taboo for a women to express her love for herself without being labeled a narcissist (seriously, WTF). So when 2 Broke Girls went ahead and said what everyone of my girls is probably hiding inside, I was like HELL YES GIRL! We need more role models showing women that it’s okay to love themselves. When you come home after a long day of being unappreciated at your job or *gasp* being broken up with, you need to remember that you are a PERFECT queen (or king). Nobody can mess with someone who loves themselves.
4 When You Pretend You're Famous
It’s all fun and games pretending you’re living the Kardashian lifestyle until you come back down to reality and realize you have a job to go to. You almost had yourself fooled with your contour, Lip Kit, and Balmain t-shirt. No matter how fun it is to pretend, I’m sorry to tell you that you will never achieve their level of fame. Their lavish lifestyle comes with years of leaking sex tapes and reality TV. Ok, all jokes aside, the Kardashians are real businesswomen. They’re masters of social media who have managed to capitalize on every aspect of their lives. But I still can’t help but feel like their day-to-day "work" is filled with a lot more photo shoots and posing by the pool than my job. Ahhhh, a girl can dream.
3 When People Are Sending Off Too Many Negative Vibes
Nama’stay away from negative vibes! Let’s face it, being around negative people can be super draining. Their low vibration brings down your high one, and you may find yourself less optimistic than you were before. I don’t know about you guys but when I feel down, I don’t want anything to do with anyone, bringing my productivity to a screeching halt and letting out my inner "witch." Don’t get me wrong, people should try to maintain a bare minimum level of compassion towards other people, but some negative Nancys really abuse it. And when they’re complaining about something minuscule for the 75th time that hour, it’s impossible to NOT roll your eyes. Girl, get over it, there are worse things in life. Sorry not sorry, everyone was thinking it.
2 When The Subway Smells Funky
Concrete jungle. The city that never sleeps. The Big Apple. Whatever you call it, New York City is a worldwide icon, an important part of the fabric of our culture, and the city in which 2 Broke Girls takes place. NYC has a lot of things going for it - world-class buildings, famous art galleries, tons of renowned restaurants, and its own super huge Fashion Week, among countless other things. The city is so magical that it even makes people forget how bad it smells! Crazy right? Is it rats? The sewers? Pee? Who knows! It’s actually kind of inspiring and says a lot about how much people love New York City - nobody mentions it even though we’re all thinking it. 10 on 10 for loyalty, guys.
1 When You Just Let It All Roll
Eat. Work. Sleep. All day, every day. Sometimes life just feels so mundane and routine. Maybe sometimes you’ll get existential and wonder, “What is the point to all this anyways?” This is probably one of the only questions asked by almost every human ever to which there is no answer. Sadly, I can’t tell the future better than any of you. Max sums it up quite well - there isn’t really a point. In the end, we’ll all just be bones in the earth, everyone the same. So maybe the point is to just please ourselves while we can. Eat candy, go outside, sing, have sex, whatever your thing is - just do that. Because as long as you’re happy, you can just let it all roll.