Is there anyone in the world who dislikes Ms. Ellen DeGeneres? She is literally the image of love, peace, and kindness. I don't think that woman has an angry bone in her body.
Today, people know Ellen from her TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, but she's been in the comedic scene since the early '80s. She's done movies, TV sitcoms, standup comedy tours, voice overs (Hi Dory!) - you name it, this funny-woman has done it. (She's also a spokes person for CoverGirl!) She has done tremendous work for the LGBT community along with giving back to those who need a helping hand (as seen on her show). It's because of her big heart and contagious sense of humor that we can't keep our eyes off Ellen. And thanks to Twitter, we don't have to. She's constantly tweeting jokes or snappy comments about guests for up and coming shows or trends in the community. She's also a lover of tweeting pictures of puppies and babies together - who can blame her? She's just like us! But funnier... Which is why we have a list of her 15 funniest tweets!
15 She's A Straight Ballerrrr
Anybody got change for a ten? https://t.co/gROzMx1fhK— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) February 20, 2017
I've never seen a group picture quite like this before. We have Ellen DeGeneres in the middle of the new hip hop group, Migos. To make this potential future Christmas card even better, they're all holding their stacks of cash in classic hip hop fashion. The only difference is, the men of Migos are all holding wads of $100 dollar bills, while Ellen is holding a couple of $10 dollar bills (and maybe a $50 bill hiding in the back) and is asking if anyone has change for a 10. Ugh, the struggle of being a multi-millionaire in the midst of other young millionaires on the rise is such a problem. They never remember whose turn it is to pick up the coffee tab or who gets to pick out those round AF glasses (sunglasses?) to wear on the next talk show. Leave it to Ellen to act completely natural in a sea full of Migos.
14 She Says What We Were All Thinking
Yaaasss, Ellen! We all adore The Weeknd; and no one can top Ice T as a groundbreaking artist. However, their stage names are very frustrating to read time and time again as someone who appreciates good grammar and speaking English correctly. Why couldn't The Weeknd keep the "e" in weekEnd?! What was the significance in removing it? And Ice T; you've been dropping beats since the '80s and have now stood your ground as an incredible actor on Law and Order: SVU, what gives with tempting stage name? Every time I hear or see your name, I want a tall glass of iced tea. If you haven't created your own line of tea bags, it's about time you jumped on the bandwagon because it would be a shame to miss that money-making train. I would totally buy iced tea by Ice T.
13 She's Witty
It's twins for George and Amal! I thought I noticed a baby bump. Congrats, you two! pic.twitter.com/JLpoT4q0ts— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) February 10, 2017
The picture that has been seen around the world. No, not George Clooney draped in flowers, but Beyoncé's baby announcement photographs. Leave it to Queen B to surprise the world with twins in the most beautiful way possible. Ugh, what a woman. But enough about Beyoncé. Shortly after she and Jay Z announced they were pregnant with twins, George Clooney admitted his wife, Amal, was also pregnant with twins. What is in the water in Hollywood! Twins are popping up all over the place! But of course, Ellen announces the amazing news on behalf of her pal George by photoshopping him into Beyoncé's pregnancy shoot. He looks so virginal with that white vail over his head, does he not? Also, when you look at this picture, does anyone else see Joey Tribbiani from Friends?!
12 She Has A Stage Name
.@BigSean Just call me Big Ellen. On second thought, don't call me that.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 31, 2017
Ha! Why is it that rappers all call themselves "big" or "lil." Big Sean, Lil Wayne, Big Pun, Lil Bow Wow, you get the picture. Whether they're talking about height or....something else is up to the imagination I suppose. So it only makes sense that Ellen wanted to be one of the guys and have a "big" or "lil" name as well. "@BigSean, Just call me Big Ellen. On second thought, don't call me that." Big Ellen does have a nice ring to it, but I think it means something a little different when it comes to being a woman. Being called "big" isn't really taken lightly as a woman, so Ellen quickly retracted her request after asking to be called Big Ellen. I think the name Ellen suits her perfectly and she doesn't even need a stage name to be remembered.
11 She Makes Great Points
In all fairness, I’m pretty sure they can’t read. pic.twitter.com/RCciOBX8uB— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) May 27, 2015
Ellen speaks the truth in every tweet. She's quite a fan of tweeting photos of sweet babies or babies playing with dogs. It's a duo that can never fail. She especially loves when babies are screaming and crying while in inopportune times. It's almost like she's reaching out to the parents and giving them a pat on the back for support. Like this tweet for example. These two little babes were put in their 'Smile' onesies and were probably getting ready for a sweet photographic moment, that is until each child didn't want to take their clothes' advice and not smile. But Ellen makes a great point, "In all fairness, I'm pretty sure they can't read." She's right! How are these little munchkins supposed to know how to pose when they can't even read their ensemble!?
10 She Is Totally Down With Hip Hop Culture
What do you call a cat that raps? Whiska-lifa. #ClassicJokeFriday— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) June 5, 2015
Classic Joke Friday is one of the best days on Twitter. Ellen comes up with the funniest jokes that are sometimes funny because they're not funny at all. Does that make sense? It's almost like her (or her team) is trying too hard to make the joke funny; but somehow, that's what makes it funny... Are you catching my drift? Anyway, this is one #ClassicJokeFriday joke that totally wins for actually being funny: "What do you call a cat that raps? Whiska-lifa." HA! Is anyone else laughing out loud? She totally plays on the cat's whiskers mixed with rapper, Wiz Khalifa and it deserves more retweets and favorites than just three and five thousand. Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor anymore!? Don't worry Ellen, The Things loves your Classic Joke Friday tweets—especially this one!
9 She Calls People Out On Their Mistakes
.@NICKIMINAJ Thank you! Did you mean B-Day? They’re really close on the keyboard.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 26, 2017
I didn't think there was anyone in the world who would be brave enough to correct or stand up to the great Nicki Minaj. This woman's verses are so savage, she could rip you apart in a millisecond and then sell it to a radio station for the world to hear how badly she ripped you apart with her words. But Ellen isn't afraid of Miss Minaj. It was Ellen's birthday back in January, and Nicki reached out via Twitter to give her some birthday love. The only mixup is, she wrote "Happy G day" as opposed to "Happy B day." Silly mistake on the keyboard, I'm sure. Instead of simply thanking Minaj and posting a photo of the two, Ellen asks Nicki if she mean't "B-Day," because the two letters are pretty close on the keyboard. And she's not wrong about that! I wonder if Nicki ever responded to this?
8 She Has A Potential Tattoo Idea
.@LoniLove Thank you, Loni! I’m gonna get that tattooed on my lower back.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 26, 2017
We cannot control our excitement or giggles when Ellen joins teams with other funny ladies such as Amy Schumer, Loni Love, or Jennifer Aniston. We wish the show was longer when she has guests like these on her show. Especially when the guests are just as funny as Ellen herself.
Besides Nicki Minaj, fellow comedian Loni Love also showered Ellen with birthday love on Twitter. She reminded DeGeneres that "age gets better with wine." You know, instead of the classic saying "Like wine, you only get better with age." Sorry, Loni makes a much better point - age IS better with wine! And thanks to that stellar advice, Ellen thanks Loni and lets her now she's going to get that inspiring saying tattooed on her lower back. I mean, if Ellen is going to get a tramp-stamp - it would for sure be something silly like this.
7 She Gives Credit Where Credit Is Due
Betty White has been kicking ass and making people laugh since 1939. Yes, you read that correctly - for the past 78 years! The woman is 95 years old for crying out loud - she has seen and done it all. Thanks to her comedy, she is one of the first funny ladies to pave the way for women like Ellen, which of course, is a reason behind Ellen's undying devotion to her. So on Betty's 95th birthday, Ellen gave her a great shoutout on Twitter (Betty has a Twitter account!?) reminding everyone that she is not cooler than sliced bread because she was born BEFORE sliced bread was even invented. Which means "sliced bread is the best thing" since Betty. I'm sorry, all of these facts are blowing my mind. Betty is the longest female actress in television history, and Ellen is high up in the ranks with Betty for her sheer comedic genius. There is nothing better than these two together (or this video montage).
6 She Drops The Mic Every Now And Then
A big storm is headed through CA. Supermarkets are slammed with people preparing. When I got there, there was literally no— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 7, 2017
Considering I live on the East Coast, I've always wondered what real life was like in Hollywood. Like, normal folk who aren't actors, comedians, or models living in the Los Angeles area. Do they run into our favorite performers at the grocery store or pumping their car up at the gas station? Thankfully, Ellen gave us a little insight into my wandering mind. When a big storm hits southern California, one would think people run to the store for some milk, water, and maybe some carbs that can last a few days. Because who knows when the storm will chill and they can safely drive back to the store (or their favorite restaurant)? But it wasn't food that was sold out at this California supermarket... It was self-tanner. Get it! I guess without the sun shinning for a couple of days, Californian's can't bare to lose their glowing tan for a couple of days. Oh, Ellen!
5 No Explanation Necessary
Goodbye, 2016. I know there are a few hours left, but I think I’m good.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 1, 2017
We have seen out fair share of 2016 tweets. We've seen gif's, memes, Vines, and hilarious thoughts on the devastating year that calls itself 2016 and ripped us apart mentally and physically. From the divorces in hollywood, to some timely deaths like George Michael, to the shit show in American politics - 2016 needed to go to bed and never wake up. Which is why Ellen tweeted goodbye to the terrible year on New Years Eve. Although she tweeted at 9:32 PM, she explained there was no need to carry out the extra two-and-a-half hours because we're good. We've seen enough and there's no need to draw out anymore minutes in this year. She was ready for 2017 and was counting down the moment to a new start. And girl was straight preaching to the choir. This baby deserves more retweets.
4 She Brought Comedy To A Dark Time
Looks like it’s just us now. pic.twitter.com/JFGOuX40zU— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 7, 2017
This is one tweet that probably got mixed reviews. Some fans probably laughed, while other fans probably cried. But all I know is, Ellen would have made a fantastic addition to girl group, Fifth Harmony. After Fifth Harmony member, Camila Cabello, decided to leave the group to pursue her solo career, Ellen decided to take things into her own hands. She photoshopped her face onto Camila's body in a former picture of the five girls and gave all fans some hope for the future! And in case you were wondering, Camila was completely okay with this new addition by retweeting the photo and saying Ellen was "always a better dancer than me anyway." Come on, Ellen! You got the approval from the group, former members, and fans - let's get you to the studio!
3 She Has The Best Job In The World
Happy birthday, Jake Gyllenhaal. I’m a big fan of your body of work. pic.twitter.com/6b9Sac1633— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) December 19, 2016
Personally, I think Jake Gyllenhaal is an underrated actor and celebrity crush. Why do we not talk about him more often? His body, that smile, his facial hair - he has those rugged good looks that most woman chase. Luckily for Ellen, she had the chance to stare into those eyes and hug his left arm while he visited her show. Plus - they're close enough for her to give him a birthday shoutout! Who isn't a fan of his "body" of work anyways? I also love that even though Ellen is a lesbian and a married woman, she doesn't shy away from attractive men. In fact, she embraces it more! She loves an attractive man with some talent. Or no talent at all...but hey! She's just like us.
2 She Reminds Us Of Awkward Holiday Parties
Tonight is my office holiday party! Tomorrow is my awkward office board meeting.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) December 16, 2016
This tweet is everything. Pure gold. There's a solid group of us who love holiday parties. Depending on the size of your company, there's usually games, free food, and a lot of booze. Coworkers get to bring their spouses as they drunkenly mingle with one another and get a chance to talk sh**t about their job or other companies they work with. In short - it's a chance to really let loose and either let your coworkers see who you truly are or vice versa. However, having a board meeting the following day sounds like the worst idea possible. It's almost like having a one night stand and then walking into a silent room the next day and they happen to be in there as well. #Awkward. Ellen's tweet perfect describes everyone's worst fear when it comes to work parties and we love her for it.
1 She Pokes Fun At Her Fans
I have watched this video 10 times already. Just watch this poor woman groovin' to the music like Ellen until she eventually trips over herself and takes a tumble down Ellen's stairs! Thankfully the lady seemed to be okay at the bottom of the stairs and was smiling mid tumble. I mean, after something that embarrassing, the only way to get through that moment is to laugh it off. Because if she started crying or got super silent, it would make the entire audience uncomfortable. But since she laughed it off, Ellen will probably give her some kind of gift or a backstage pass or something! Actually, now that I think about it, more people should try this more often... It could catch on. But we have to give it to Ellen to retweeting the video and giving the fan some love after her long tumble.