Teens are really good at three things: making poor choices, repeating their poor choices and posting their poor choices on social media. The youth of today just can't seem to keep their blundering ways to themselves. They see nothing wrong with their constant oversharing because they do not know what we elders know: their words and actions are terrifyingly boneheaded. It's sad, yet it's true. The internet is packed full of millennials who think that their calling in life is to give the universe a heavy dose of their dumb.
It's like every thought that pops into these kids' heads goes directly onto Facebook or Twitter. Each and every time they try a wacky internet challenge or a dare, that too shows up on our Snapchats and news feeds. They literally live to overshare parts of their world that no one wants to see, nor should they ever even be admitting to.
Stop with the constant oversharing, teens. The world is already questioning the generation's intelligence, so stop giving them more ammunition for crying out loud.
13 Nothing like the smell of colon...
People simply can't underestimate the importance of being a good speller, especially when we all post our each and every passing thought on the internet for the entire world to read. If we are going to be a master oversharer, then make sure we are not making ourselves look like a complete fool with our spelling accidents. This young lover is so over the moon for her man that she feels the need to smell just like him, then tell the universe all about it. While we are pretty sure that she meant to share her love for the scent of his "cologne," she fudged a few letters and ended up professing her deep desire to sniff his "colon" all day and night.
For those who are anatomically challenged, the colon puts out an entirely different smell that a good old Drakkar Noir or a Tommy Hilfiger. If someone smells like colon, then they likely smell like poop. I can't help but wonder how many people pointed this spelling oopsie out to her in the days following her epic misspelling post. The best thing about this is that even with the shame and embarrassment of announcing to the internet world that she just wants to smell like dookie, she likely won't stop her tendency to overshare her thoughts.
12 So grounded
First of all, why is this kid even thinking like this at 16 years old? No 16-year-old should be even close to considering getting hitched and popping out kiddos. Are we living in the 1700s by chance? Starting families while still knee-high to a grasshopper went out of fashion hundreds of years ago, my friend. Only a 16-year-old would truly think that they are grown enough to take on the massive loads of responsibility that having a family requires, and then announce it to the universe. Teens are forever convinced that they are equals to adults and can never figure out why we real adults would ever get our panties in a bunch over thoughts like this.
At 16 years old, the only family that these teens should be concerned with is the one paying for the bills that keep the roof over their head, the food on their dining room table and the car that they drive to and from school. Don't go sharing these profound thoughts with the people of the internet. It'll make even the most respected teen sound ignorant as all get out and if someone tags their mother in this post they are likely going to find themselves living the rest of their teen years out in a convent. No one is looking to become a grandparent at 40.
11 Sharing her love of beauty
Sharing one's love of fashion and beauty on the internet is all the rage these days. Everywhere you look, women and men alike are starting blogs and YouTube channels purely devoted to providing viewers and readers with helpful hair and makeup tutorials. These people are most definitely oversharers. If you spend hours a day sitting in front of your computer, uploading videos of yourself perfecting hairdos and facial contouring, then you probably have an oversharing problem. It's true.
Beauty vloggers want you to believe that they have a deep desire to help mankind be more attractive, but they really just like to hear themselves talk and get a deep joy out of looking at themselves for extended periods of time. Every once and awhile, we get thrown an oversharing bone and find ourselves witnessing a beauty vlog blunder of epic proportions, making all of this oversharing totally worth our time. When an internet beauty sharer accidentally burns a giant chunk of her hair off, well, that is all we needed to carry on. Nothing beats a good beauty hack fail, am I right? I could actually watch stuff like this all day long. Go ahead and share away, kids!
10 No one needs to see this
Guys, I have seen some things, but this here takes the cake. Well, we are going to assume that this young lady found her antics to be downright hilarious and, because she thinks herself a comedienne, she decided that this should be shared with her 1,000 closest friends on social media. I hate to tell you this, but no one thinks this is cute or funny. If anything, your sanity is being questioned right now. Once the "OMG" comments start rolling in and people start unfriending you, you'll need an excuse for why you did such a wretched thing.
I suggest you tell everyone that you were under the influence. It's my experience that people will forgive your transgressions if drinking is involved. That being said, eating from a toilet is never going to be an acceptable thing to do...ever. I don't care if your dishes aren't done—borrow one, use a cup, buy paper plates, eat out of a Tupperware; heck, eat out of a shoe box. In this teen's grand attempt to share her silliness with the world, she ended up sharing her ignorance and immaturity instead. Who doesn't know how dirty a toilet bowl is? Good luck with that sepsis that is coming your way, kiddo.
9 Now everyone knows your IQ is 60
So how can you spot an internet oversharer? Just look for the extreme idiocy and the lack of a filter all in one post. Oversharing teens are the most impulsive creatures on the planet. You'll know that you have spotted one when you read a post of theirs that they clearly have not given more than five seconds of thought to. If this young auntie-in-training would have slowed down to think about what she was saying, she might have managed to share an acceptable, semi-intelligent post, but no. She is an oversharer extraordinaire and this condition of hers prevents her from thinking about the thoughts and words that come tumbling from her half turned on brain. Out through her fingertips they go.
The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that oversharing is the new age disease of this generation. Who knows, maybe in a few decades, this compulsion to divulge all dumb via the internet will make its way into the DSM-5 and be seen in psychiatrist offices everywhere. Yes, folks, we are living in the age of the oversharer and it's a scary time. We must convince these youngsters that privacy is actually a beautiful thing.
8 Love overshare
We get it. You love your boyfriend more than any other human has ever loved their partner. Your love for him is so intense that you need to let the world know how deep your feelings run. Hmmm, so how can you show your paramour that he is the center of your universe? I know! Post a really sappy message to him on social media for him and the rest of the world to see. I guarantee all of his friends saw this oh-so-extra message and have now dedicated their entire lives to making fun of him and his over-the-top, emotionally charged relationship. Honestly, if you are going to post something so eye rolling, prepare yourself for a less than romantic response.
What could he even publicly say to this that would even be emotionally close? Thank you? No problem, babe? Was that sun heavy as hell?
Whatever he says cannot possibly compare to the drama-filled message that she sent. I will say this answer is so awesome, I can't even handle it. She pours her heart out for all to see and he inquires about a freezer meal. THIS is real life, kids. THIS is what relationships truly look like. You don't have to send him sappy messages to let him know that you would literally die without him, You have to microwave him his chicken parm. That is all you need to do, so take this all down several notches.
7 Hi world, my man sucks
Dude. There are some things that are totally OK to take with you to the grave. If a part of your life is beyond mortifying and is going to result in people looking sideways at you forever, just bury it deep and keep it to yourself. If you must, leave it in your therapist's office. This girl couldn't manage any of that, though. She let the anger for her ex get the best of her and that anger caused her to overshare some embarrassing information with just about everyone she knows.
Think about the people who you are friends with on social media. I have so many randoms that I would not particularly want knowing my ins and outs. I think I'm Facebook friends with my fourth-grade teacher as well as my children's pediatrician, so I try and keep my postings PG rated for their sake. Not this girl, though. The gloves are off and she doesn't seem to give a rip as to who sees her ex-boyfriend slam-tastic social media post. All of her Facebook friends, as well as his friends, now know that she dated a cheater. Neither of these gems will be scoring hot dates anytime soon, thanks to her angry oversharing spontaneity.
6 Show it, don't say it
Hell yeah, Bobby! You go on with your bad self and you give these annoying oversharing lovebirds a piece of your mind. Bobby here might seem a bit harsh in the word department, but let's be honest guys, he is all of us. Who hasn't read a social media post like this before and yelled, "Are you freaking kidding me?" at the computer screen.
We know that you like each other, guys. Do you want to know how we figured it out? Because you're dating!
If you are in a relationship with someone, then it is assumed that you have a thing for one another. You don't have to be so extra and inform the good people of Facebook that you love your man the "mostest." He doesn't have to correct you by revealing that he actually loves you the "mostester." Also, those are not real words, not even close. This type of oversharing is the most annoying, nails on a chalkboard, type of thing a person can encounter on the internet. Thank goodness for people like Bobby who are willing to clap back at the painful declarations of love and put a halt to the gushiness. Bobby for the win, people.
5 Take it back. Tell us you are kidding
I'm so confused by this oversharer. Also my faith in humanity is a bit shattered by what I am reading. So let me see if I am completely understanding this: you were in a public space riding on an ESCALATOR, not on an elevator. You were literally on one of those slow-moving staircases that you see in a mall or an airport, the ones that most people walk across because their slowness is actually annoying. The escalator stops and you stand there. Other people probably walked up or down it, leaving the darkened building, but not you. You literally stood there for HOURS. I can hardly believe this!
If this really happened, then please someone explain to me how this person is functioning in the world. This truly is a person who could not fight her way out of a paper bag. Her ability to move through life unharmed feels impossible knowing that she felt "trapped" on an escalator. If only there was video confirmation of this episode, I think I would feel pretty complete. You can't come back from this. You chose to share your frightening ordeal with the internet and now you will never be known as anything but freakishly slow.
4 These aren't geography scholars
Well, this is mildly concerning. Why would you ever choose to share this kind of blunder with the universe? Do yourself one giant favor and keep this kind of mental mistake under wraps.
People will judge you for this kind of thing. Heck, I am judging you right now!
Not only did she admit to the world that she has been under the impression that Alaska is one massive chunk of floating land for all of these years, but she is convinced that the map actually proves this. Um, that "stuff" that you see between the lower 48 of the United States and Alaska is not water, it's actually a giant mass of land known as CANADA. I'm trying really hard to comprehend why someone would wake up one morning, turn their computer on and decide to share this type of thing with folks. Also, I'm actually impatient to know what other misconceptions are floating around in that head of hers. Thank goodness she is an oversharer, thus we will probably be gifted with all sorts of other misconceptions of hers. My guess is there is no shortage or this chick's misunderstandings, so sit back and wait for them to roll it.
3 This guy doesn't have game
Oh, you desperate man who sees no bounds when it comes to your oversharing. I truly love a good text message or social media post that was obviously faked in some way. The pretend sleeping posts are actually my ultimate favorite in regards to this oversharing genre. It's unbelievable to me how many millennials out there fake a nap and then post the image for the world to see. When did sleeping become something share-worthy anyhow? I have no clue, but I do know that if my husband took a picture of me sleeping and then posted it to the net, I would sock him in the face. Real sleepers aren't cute, so that's how you know if a picture is fudged.
This guy snapped an image of himself lounging or maybe sleeping, (does he know that real sleepers can't simultaneously take a picture) and then sent it to the girl he is digging. Because he loves himself some sharing, he also sent the picture to a bunch of other girls, which he made visible to the original girl who is clearly out of his league in terms of intelligence. Go ahead, crawl into a dark hole and just wait for life to be over, pal. You'll never live this embarrassment down, all because you just had to overshare.
2 Making the best of it
Well, this is classic oversharing right here. Admitting to yourself and your child that you have no CLUE who your kid's father is is one thing. Admitting this far from classy fact to the entire world on social media is a whole other ball of wax. Great, you love your kid. Congrats on that, but this isn't some grand epiphany that needs to be shared with the world via social media. It's kind of a given for the overwhelming majority of parents. Just a side note—not knowing who the father of your child is kind of makes you look like someone who's making questionable decisions. Can you at least narrow it down to a few gents for us?
I'm going to do you a solid here and ring the great Maury Povich.
He'll get to the bottom of this baby daddy mystery and solve the issue once and for all. A good rule of thumb is if you are this loose, keep that under wraps. You might be proud of all of this, but your poor child will go to school with the kids of the people reading your posts. If they tell their kids about stuff like this, your child will definitely be getting picked on at recess.
1 24 hours changes everything
Young teens really do feel the deep draw to share their most intimate thoughts with anyone and everyone who will do as much as look in their direction. Once they think that they have struck gold in the love department, they desperately need to share this emotion with the universe. This makes the universe full of very sad teens. One second it's forever, the next second...not so much. It's such bum luck when the guy that you have devoted an entire 24 hours of your life to turns out to be the opposite of what you expected.
Actually, he is exactly the same guy that you fell in "love" with. Unless he has suffered a traumatic brain injury within the last day, my guess is not much has changed with your man. Also, you should not be loving anyone but your parents...because you're 12 years old. This whole post is the epitome of why kids who are too young to even be called teens should never have access to the internet. They can't help how they sound or what they choose to share with the world. The part of their brain that normally would say, "Nope, better not post that," isn't fully developed yet. Actually, it hasn't even begun to grow.