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15 Tragic Birthday Fails We'd Never Wish On Anyone

Birthdays are supposed to be the best days of the year, but for some reason, most of them tend to absolutely suck. We're supposed to be treated to cake, presents and the company of all of our best friends and family... so why do we typically spend the anniversary of our birth crying in a corner and regretting all of our life decisions?! Everyone's had a nightmare of a birthday story, but luckily, we've never experienced anything quite as horrible as the people who made these confessions on Whisper—these disasters are so awkward and humiliating, we wouldn't even wish them on our worst enemies. If skipping our birthdays from now on is the only way to make sure this stuff never happens to us, that just may be a sacrifice we're willing to make!

15 Last minute breakup

Via: whisper.sh

When you're in a relationship, you're expected to be in charge of ensuring your significant other feels special on their birthday. You have to plan the whole day out and get (or make) them a present that is both meaningful and thoughtful. This poor dude's girlfriend seemingly forgot to do anything for his birthday, so instead of haphazardly throwing something together at the last minute... she just broke up with him. Via text. At four in the morning. It's possible that she'd been wanting to end things for a while, but she could have broken up with him before midnight, so it wouldn't be on his birthday of all days! Waiting until she knew he was asleep on such an important day is just cruel and unnecessary.

14 Not too observant

Via: whisper.sh

People make a big deal over how hard it is to find someone you care about the perfect birthday present, but it actually isn't too difficult. Guys are typically happy getting a new video game, some tools or a few DVDs, while many girls are satisfied with some flowers and jewelry. This confessor's boyfriend of four months thought he'd be safe sticking to that classic formula and got his girlfriend a nice new pair of earrings. Sadly, his GF didn't have any use for them, because her ears aren't even pierced! Instead of earning brownie points for his present, he lost several—you'd think after dating for 16 weeks, he'd have noticed that she never wore earrings. Stick with rings and necklaces, guys... all girls have necks and fingers!

13 He couldn't have waited one more day?!

Via: whisper.sh

Being willing to come out of the closet to friends and family is a major milestone in a gay person's life. We typically encourage people to embrace who they really are and to give their loved ones a chance to know their true selves, but if you're in a heterosexual relationship and it's your girlfriend's birthday... it might not hurt to stay in that closet for just one more day! When this poor girl went to school on her birthday, her boyfriend immediately dumped her and then ran around the halls telling all of their friends that it was because he realized that he actually only likes dudes. At least she can feel some comfort knowing that the breakup wasn't because he was into some other girl?

12 This is some next level stupidity

Via: whisper.sh

We're expected to remember our parents' birthdays, our siblings' birthdays, our significant others' birthdays, important anniversaries, holidays... there are so many special days in a year that it can be easy to forget one every now and then. It'd probably be smart to keep track of them on a calendar, but let's be real, no one uses those things anymore. Laziness and forgetfulness can excuse a lot of our mental blunders, but there's just no excusing forgetting a sibling's birthday if they're your twin! Unless one of you was born in the last few minutes of one day and the other in the first few minutes of the next, when it's your birthday, it's also their birthday. It really can't get much easier than that!

11 The gift that keeps on giving

Via: whisper.sh

Most presents from parents are hit or miss. Some years, they just give you practical stuff you don't want (but admittedly need), like underwear and socks. Other years, they go all-out and hook you up with that expensive gaming console you've been eyeing for months or the hot new iPhone of the year. This teenager hit the jackpot and woke up on her birthday to find that her folks gave her the present most kids can only dream of—a new car! Unfortunately, this gift came with an additional, very unwanted gift in the backseat... a used condom. That's right, to celebrate being wealthy enough to afford to buy their little girl her first car, her parents got it on in the car the night before her birthday. We're sure that knowledge is going to traumatize her every time she ever sets foot inside of it.

10 Emergency room birthday

Via: whisper.sh

When you're in college, you're pretty much expected to spend your birthday at the local bar or club getting completely hammered with all of your friends. Unfortunately, if you're unable to drink, your friends will still see your special day as an excuse to go out drinking... and they may even secretly force some booze on you! This student couldn't drink alcohol, but in an attempt to fit in and at least look like everyone else, she ordered a non-alcoholic cocktail. What she didn't realize was that one of her friends slipped some tequila into it to liven the party up a bit, a stunt which led to her having a seizure and spending the rest of her birthday in a hospital! It doesn't get much worse than that.

9 Happy Super Bowl

Via: whisper.sh

There's one date each year that dads never forget—the Super Bowl! Dads somehow forget their wives' birthdays, their wedding anniversary and even the anniversary of their little princess' birth, but they have no problem at all remembering to plan a party for the end of the football season. This daughter likely thought her daddy was just messing around when he wished her a "Happy Super Bowl" instead of "Happy birthday," but he never corrected his mistake. He went the whole day thinking that the only thing worth celebrating was the big game. She was so shocked and appalled by this lapse in memory that all she could do was complain on Whisper and add a bitter "love you too, Dad" to her post. We can't blame her for that!

8 Thanks for the cake, though?

Via: whisper.sh

This guy thought he was having the best birthday ever. Even though he had to go into work on his big day, his girlfriend surprised him by showing up to his office, allowing him to show her off to all of his co-workers. She didn't come empty-handed, either—she made him a gorgeous cake that he could enjoy on his lunch break and gave him a birthday card as well. Things were looking great, but when she left and he opened up the card, he found a breakup note instead of well wishes. If she was just going to dump him, why'd she go through the effort of baking him a cake and surprising him at his job?! She probably thought she was being sweet and softening the blow here, but it actually makes the breakup feel more unexpected and hurtful.

7 You're supposed to give HER a present, dude

Via: whisper.sh

Guys, a girl's birthday is supposed to be all about her. For just one day, you're expected to give up on what you want for a change and just spend the whole day satisfying her every desire. This husband didn't seem to fully understand that, so instead of writing "Happy Birthday" or some special, personalized message on his wife's cake, he whipped out the icing pen and asked "Can we have kinky birthday s*x now?" That definitely seems more like it'd be a gift for him than one for her! Maybe next time instead of bluntly asking for nookie, he can make it more about her by starting things off with a seductive bath, throwing some rose petals on the bed and lighting a few candles.

6 "Most wonderful time of the year"

Via: whisper.sh

Everyone single person with a December birthday knows this struggle. Your family and friends are too lazy or cheap to give you presents for your birthday and Christmas (or Hanukkah/Kwanzaa), so they just give you one gift and claim that it counts for both occasions. Um, how exactly is that fair? Everyone else gets separate birthday and holiday gifts, but you get robbed of one every single year just because your birth tragically came around the same time as the winter holiday season?! December babies already have reason to be jealous of people born in the summer because they can have their birthday parties outside at a pool or a beach... this nonsense just makes things even more unfair.

5 It's the thought that counts?

Via: whisper.sh

When you realize at the very last second that you forgot your girlfriend's birthday, an easy fix is running to the nearest supermarket or florist and buying a bouquet of flowers. They're easy to get and ensure your GF won't even realize that you almost forgot to give her anything. If you don't have the 10 bucks needed to do that, you can just go to your local library and print out a birthday card and write a thoughtful message inside. She'll be a bit bummed out by how cheap you are, but at least you'll have proven that you are aware it's her birthday. The very last thing you should do is grab a rock off the ground and draw a face on it. Just because "pet rocks" used to be popular back in the 1970s doesn't mean rocks are acceptable gifts now. This guy put in zero effort and we hope his girlfriend gave him zero action for weeks after her birthday.

4 No license for you

Via: whisper.sh

Six months before your 16th birthday, you get your permit so you can legally get a license and drive around all on your own when it's finally time to celebrate your Sweet 16. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that perfectly. Some of the Department of Motor Vehicles testers are insanely strict and love failing people for very minor mistakes, and some people just suck at driving and don't deserve to pass. This girl was all excited about getting her driver's license and spent several hours of her birthday at the DMV, only to leave completely empty-handed. "Nothing good ever comes from birthdays" is a bit extreme, but we definitely feel for her on this one. Now she has to wait several weeks to try again, while all of her other friends are already on the road and embracing their freedom.

3 Mother of the Year

Via: whisper.sh

Most teenagers spend their birthday money right away on insignificant junk, but a select few responsible teens hide their cash in a piggy bank or drawer and try to save up for something special like their first car or their college tuition. These two girls—who were only 13 and 14 years old—impressively restrained themselves from spending all of their birthday money, but the mature decision backfired on them. Their cruel and selfish mom searched their rooms for the money, stole it and never came back home! Not only did the girls lose a mother, they lost motivation to be responsible and save their money... now they're always going to live in fear of a loved one stealing any cash that they don't spend right away!

2 Birthday bloodbath

Via: whisper.sh

Your periods always seem to happen at the worst times possible. Without fail, your "time of the month" comes while you're giving a presentation in school, when you're finally about to hook up with your crush, when you're wearing your favorite pair of white pants... you've always said that it couldn't sync up worse with your life, but at least your period doesn't fall on your birthday every year like it does for this unfortunate Whisper confessor! Every single year on her special day, the flood gates open and she's treated to a celebratory bloodbath, destroying any plans she may have had for birthday pool parties or hanky panky! There's regular bad luck and there's "annual periods on your birthday" bad luck—we wouldn't wish that level of horror on anyone.

1 We all know this struggle

Via: whisper.sh

Grandparents always come in clutch on birthdays because they tend to spend way more money giving us whatever gift we've had our eyes on most. When we were growing up, that gift was just a gaming system or a new TV, but as we got older, the thing we needed most was cold hard cash. No one really wants to admit their need for financial assistance (especially on their birthday) and people typically don't like giving it as a gift because it seems insincere, so it sucks having to go to your grandparents and ask them for an envelope filled with green. This poor guy needed a whopping $200 for his electric bill ASAP, so he had to ask his grandma and grandpa to give him that instead of a regular present. It's tragic and awkward, but everyone who has ever struggled to pay for rent and utilities knows this struggle.

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