It started back in 2010, when the BBC released a new crime drama featuring a smart-ass with curly hair and cheek bones so sharp they could win sword fights, along with his grumpy doctor companion, who is far too precious for this accursed world. We watched those guys solve a few murders, and dammit if we weren't enveloped by a cult-like fandom in the process.
Of course, we couldn't just sit on our opinions and theories about what we'd seen. We needed to discuss the show and the characters, so we congregated on a site called Tumblr. And that's when it all hit the fan. Soon, Sherlockians were everywhere. No one was safe. The Sherlock fandom became a terrifying force to be reckoned with. Tumblr was no match for them. It's easy to see why that was the case with these 15 Tumblr posts that prove the Sherlock fandom is scary AF.
15 Because we are masters of deduction—or at least we try to be
Upon first meeting a person, Sherlock studies them. He looks them up and down in order to find clues in their appearance about their lives. Hairs along the hem of their pants? They've got a small dog. Cell phone has scratches near the charger port? They were drunk when they charged their phone. These kinds of deductions help provide Sherlock with a big picture that he can use to determine what type of person a suspect is, and what part (if any) they played in the crime.
These deductions are both fascinating and impressive, and we Sherlockians have attempted to produce the same results on many occasions. Sometimes, we come up with clever clues about a stranger. But, mostly, we just stare at them like this until they get creeped out and give us dirty looks.
14 Because this is true, sadly
This is the running joke in the fandom. No, wait, scratch that. This is one of the many running jokes in the fandom. While most fandoms get new episodes every year (lucky bastards), the members of the Sherlock fandom have learned to content themselves with three episodes every two years—and that's when times are good! Who knows when the next season will come out? Who knows if the next season will come out? The not knowing takes a real toll on your psyche.
The Sherlock fandom spends the vast majority of its time in hiatus, which is the tenth circle of hell that Dante forgot to mention. That's why we can really sympathize with this Tumblr user, who took one look at this amusing Sherlock joke, laughed, and then cried.
13 Because we are all as crazy as Anderson
Quick rundown: Moriarty wanted Sherlock dead. If Sherlock didn't comply, Moriarty would have his cronies kill the people he loved—including John. This made it necessary for Sherlock to fake his own death in an elaborate, highly believable illusion. Of course, John was upset because he thought he'd just lost his best friend, but Sherlock did it to save him. Then, Sherlock left, because you can't really resume your normal life when you're supposed to be six-feet under.
During his absence, Anderson—that's right, the guy who can lower the IQ of the entire street just by talking—comes up with a ton of theories about how Sherlock might have pulled off his stunt without actually killing himself. In other words, Anderson becomes what we Tumblr Sherlockians have been for a long time: unstable, irrational, obsessive, and batsh*t crazy.
12 Because we have a GIF for that
What great advice. Steal something from someone in order to get their attention. Ha ha! Genius! If only somebody had thought of that before now. Oh, wait. They did. Remember the pool scene at the end of season one, when Moriarty held John hostage? And remember how we didn't know what happened to them until the next season? If you're new to the fandom, we would just like to remind you to be very grateful. You can watch the seasons back to back without waiting. The people who have been watching since the show started had to wait two years for that cliff hanger to be resolved. Two. Years.
Anyway, yeah, Moriarty has had this helpful little tip in his playbook for a long while, now. And, it most definitely is a great way to get someone's attention.
11 Because we know a music-loving serial killer
Oh, come on! You were asking for it, Tumblr user! Poor Tumblr. Some bloggers are so innocent. So naive and inexperienced. You almost feel bad for these baby bloggers when a fandom swoops in and hijacks their posts. We said almost. Not completely. Besides, when you look at this post from the perspective of the Sherlockian, they had no other choice. We mean, what were they supposed to do? Scroll past it? Pfft! Get real.
Moriarty is one quirky little Irishman. He's got so much sass and spunk, it ought to be illegal. We're not even kidding, here, because apparently such a combination of sass and spunk produces insane serial killers. Still, it was fun watching him bust some moves to classical music as he stole the Crown Jewels. Wow. There's a sentence we never thought we'd write.
10 Because we have characters like this
Want to know why the Sherlock fandom is scary? It's because we spend our spare time obsessing about these two characters, right here. Let's focus on the guy on the right, first. Dr. John Watson. The man who suffers from PTSD after serving in Afghanistan. The man who watched his best friend leap off of a building. The man who stood at Sherlock's grave and begged him, "please, don't be dead." That guy. Let's talk about him.
This Tumblr user is right. Dr. John Watson deserves some appreciation for managing to be tough as nails and at the same time a sweet cinnamon roll, too pure, too precious for this earth. You better fear a fandom who loves a character whose first response to seeing that his best friend is alive is to kill him.
9 And like this
Okay, we talked about John Watson. Now, it's time to talk about this jerk. Sherlock Holmes. Notice the billowy black trench coat, the breathtaking cheekbones as rare as the Holy Grail, and the enthusiastic dufus expression on his face. Just what is Mr. Holmes so happy about? What has gotten him so excited? Why, murder, of course.
The fandom that makes a hero out of a maniac detective, who could just as easily have been a criminal mastermind, ought to be feared. If you're not afraid of Sherlockians, you probably belong in the padded cell that's just down the hall from ours. Sherlock and his minions, er, fans are absolute nutters. Still, isn't he adorable? It's too bad people don't get murdered more often, then we'd get to see this cutie smile all the time!
8 Because we know how to get away with murder
Sometimes, when you're perusing Tumblr, you'll stumble upon a post that seems a little... dark. Like, awhile back, there was a post about getting blood out of fabric. It turned out the original poster had a bloody nose, and they were just trying to get a spot off of their clothes. But, for a wild few minutes, the rest of Tumblr was under the impression that this was a serial killer who needed help covering up the crime they had committed.
Eventually, the confusion was cleared up. But, before that could happen, the Sherlock fandom was there, offering advice and giving tips. FYI, hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood. All that to say, we know enough now that we could commit the perfect murder. Or, at least, we could write the perfect murder.
7 Because Moffat did this to us
The reason we Sherlockians are so out of our minds is because of this man. This smug son of a b*tch. You probably recognize him as Doctor Who showrunner, Steven Moffat. So, not only is he responsible for the emotional damage of the Whovians, he's also to blame for the mental instability of the Sherlockians.
We heard that Steven Moffat brews his Earl Grey tea with the tears of those he has pained. Indeed, legend has it that this is how he gains his strength. The stronger he gets, the more we cry. The more we cry, the stronger he gets. It's a vicious cycle. A few more years of feeding off of the tears of his victims, and this man will be an unstoppable monster—even more so than he is now.
6 Because we clearly have no sense of proportion
Oh. Yeah, we should probably talk about this, too. Here's another reason why we in the Sherlock fandom ought to be feared. It's because after obsessing over a handful of episodes for years on end, we have lost all sense of proportion. We no longer know what is appropriate and what is not. We've become like Sherlock—immune to society's constructs and expectations. It's frightening, even to us. And it's that disregard for the line that separates humanity and barbarism that explains this image.
This is insensitive. There's no question about it. But, it's also quite funny, because after he shot himself in the head on the roof of the same building that Sherlock jumped from, Moriarty "rose" again in season three. But the similarities between Moriarty and Jesus end right there.
5 Because we have been damaged beyond repair
To the average non-Sherlockian, it might look like the fandom is over dramatizing the feels situation in order to elicit sympathy. Unfortunately, that's not true. Like the other two fandoms in the Holy Fandom Trinity—which consists of Supernatural, Doctor Who and Sherlock—this show has been the source of much grief. The amount of tears that have been shed is staggering. The number of heartbreaks that can be attributed to Sherlock would blow your mind. We don't even like to think about it.
Bob the Builder might be the most skilled carpenter in the world of children's TV shows, but not even he can fix our hearts. Not with the strongest mortar, not with the best caulk, not with the most stubborn of wood glues. We're insane with the heartache, and Tumblr is our coping mechanism.
4 Because we think up AU's just to make ourselves sad
Why?! You heartless bastard! What is wrong with you?! Why would you say something like that?! Excellent use of a response GIF, though. Points to the Tumblr user who called out this sadistic blogger and put them in their place. There was just no reason for this. Even if you think such horrible things, you shouldn't post them!
Here we see yet another good reason as to why we should all be terrified of the Sherlock fandom (and, yes, we are saying that even the people who are in the fandom should be afraid of the fandom). It's because we spend the years-long hiatuses thinking up AU's that serve no purpose other than to inflict even more emotional damage on our already broken hearts. Something is wrong with us. Something is very wrong with us.
3 Because we do things like this one minute
If you see a picture of a bowl full of cucumbers, and you don't respond to it by Photoshopping Benedict Cumberbatch's face onto each individual vegetable, then you need to ask yourself where you went wrong in life. Your parents should also ponder what they did that made you turn out to be a screwball. Because even if you're not in the Sherlock fandom, you simply have no other choice but to put Benedict Cumberbatch's face on cucumbers. You have to do it. You can't just ignore obvious wordplay. It's inhuman!
It's dangerous when you bring a pun lover into any fandom, but none more so than the Sherlock fandom. With a name as unique as Benedict Cumberbatch, there's plenty of opportunity to pun. And that's why you should be scared of Sherlockians.
2 And then we do things like this the next minute
We are SOOooooOOoo changeable! Just like that mad Moriarty. One minute, we're Photoshopping Benedict Cumberbatch's face onto cucumbers. The next minute, we're figuring out what the code is on a door to a building we will never enter. You probably think that's sad. Anyone who looked at this post who wasn't in the fandom would probably think that the hiatus has reduced us to a bunch of pathetic cretins. On some level, they'd be right.
Still, this is impressive. We would like to see any other fandom be able to make such a stellar deduction like this. This post looks exactly like how we imagine Sherlock's thought process works. And let's not forget that the combination for this building's locked door is Benedict Cumberbatch's birthday. Could this get any more perfect?!
1 Because we've ALWAYS been lunatics
So. We see that you've made it all the way through this post. Good for you. You did it. Hooray. But hold on just one second. By now, you've undoubtedly formed some opinions about the Sherlock fandom. Which is fine, it's just that some of them might be undeserved.
We're not all a bunch of miserable goons who spend too much time thinking about an inconsequential TV show. Well, we are, but that's not all we are. See, we're not the first people to obsess over Sherlock Holmes. This unhealthy fixation goes way back. People have been losing their minds over a fictional detective for more than a century. It's a tradition that we are honored to uphold, even if it means we will lose all of our marbles never to regain them.