Tumblr is a pretty colorful place. It's a place for people with all different types of interests, hobbies and lifestyles to come together and find like-minded folks or explore other points of views. On Tumblr, there are landscape lovers, architecture aficionados, television junkies, science seekers and clever comedians. Yep, scrolling through Tumblr is quite a journey of the mind. In fact, every once in a while, a truly mind-blowing post will pop up on your feed. The kind of post that makes you pause, reflect and possibly question your entire existence (or at least a part of it). It's like a Jerry Seinfeld observation, but on crack. Kind of makes ya laugh at first, but then you realize how deep it actually is. Well, brace yourselves, here are 15 Tumblr posts that will have your mind bursting at the seams.
14 Where do they all go?
If you’ve ever been to a pond or a lake in the daytime, you’ve seen them: swarms of ducks, dragonflies aflight, squirrels scampering. It’s like a scene out of Snow White. The question now is—where do all these darling little creatures go, when the moon takes to the sky? No, seriously. Where. Do. They. Go? The platoon of ducks are AWOL. Darting squirrels are replaced with possums and raccoons. And dragonflies? Nowhere to be seen. Yep, this is one of those observations that you never would have noticed had it not been pointed out. It goes along with other queries like where do all of my socks vanish to in the wash and why are so many words in the English language spelled the same, but don’t sound the same? Try as we may, it’s quite possible that we will never know the answers to these questions.
13 More money more problems
This one’s almost got us as shook as when we learned that a pound of feathers and a pound of lead were equivalent. This realization is even worse though because it’s talking about the idea of money, which is already such a bizarre concept to begin with. Yeah, we’re just a bunch of people living on a rock that rotates around this humungous fiery star and our whole existence essentially revolves around pieces of paper. Crazy in its own right. Then you add a fantastical idea like having an infinite amount of both 20 and 1 dollar bills at your disposal, and THEN, as if that’s not already intense to wrap your head around, you add the whole inflation/deflation logic to the equation until you finally reach the conclusion that when stretched to infinity and beyond, the value becomes non-existent. At which point, someone joins in and blows your brain into confetti by reminding everyone that this still means both are equal. Man, what a crazy ride.
12 Nightly ritual
Woah, we’re totally with this guy—sleeping is f**king weird. Yes, sleep gives our bodies some much-needed rest after we’ve spent the day running around using up a bunch of energy with our human activities, but you gotta admit, all of the rituals we have placed on the process are kind of weird. Not only do we change clothes, but we buy a specific type of clothing to wear: pajamas. There are some people who use beat up t-shirts and random stretch pants as PJs and then there are folks who spend way too much money dressing up to go to bed. Then you have to pick out your special sleeping mat AKA a mattress. This involves frolicking around a mattress store, lying down on every one in sight and pretending like you'll know what it'll feel like after a night's rest when in reality, you have no clue. Then you'll take it home to lie on it... unconscious. Weird.
11 Duped by fashion
Alright, ladies, you may need to sit down for this one. We finally cracked the age-old question: why the hell do so many clothing brands refuse to give women functional pockets? If you’re like us, you may have believed that brands do this because they truly think all we carry around is lip gloss and a credit card, or maybe even that we don’t want pockets because carrying around a day’s worth of supplies on your waist is just a bad look. But thanks to the post, we now realize that it wasn’t any of these things. Nope. In fact, it was all a ruse to get us to buy BAGS. EXPENSIVE, EXPENSIVE BAGS. That’s right, y’all, we’ve been duped. Instead of being sold a pair of pants or a jacket that not only clothes us but allows us to carry our belongings, we were sold a half-ass pair of jeggings so that we would be forced to buy a bag to haul our daily essentials around. Those genius scheming bastards.
10 Weirdest language ever
Okay, we knew the English language was weird, but this is a whole new level. This is worse than when you realize that cough and though have the same spelling, but do not sound the same phonetically. This is way worse because this post makes us realize that technically we’ve been using these phrases wrong, for like… years. Sure, they’re totally colloquial and everyone uses them wrong so we can all be happy and wrong together, but if you haven’t noticed this little-known fact before, you’re likely feeling like the English language slipped one past you. After all, we go to school, we try our best to learn English in its most proper and eloquent form, and then years later, someone on Tumblr just pulls the rug from right under ya. Not cool, man.
9 Business of blackmail
Some million-dollar ideas seem so obvious after they come to fruition, you almost feel angry that you didn’t think of it yourself. After all, Uber is just a reinvented higher-tech taxi service, Tumblr is just a sharing platform for creatives and Yelp is essentially a way for people to finally take all those complaints they used to dish out to friends and share them with the world. Yep, as this post points out, Yelp essentially makes all of its dough from blackmailing businesses and putting all their dirty laundry out in the open. It takes three things people really love—the internet, going out to eat and bitching—and rolled it up into a ball, catapulted it into the public arena, and they’ve been keeping it afloat ever since. Pretty weird.
8 Medical marvel
It’s 2017. We’ve seen athletes set new bars in every sport, scientists make new discoveries we never thought they would and doctors truly expand the world of medicine for the better. Medicine, in our opinion, is doubly impressive. While all of the advancement in this field has been amazing, it also makes it very easy to forget that past generations lived without all of these modern marvels. If someone was obese, they couldn’t just staple their stomach smaller. If someone wanted a different nose, they couldn’t just go under the knife to change it. And if someone wanted to better their eye sight, they couldn’t just get a doctor to perfect it with a laser. Times were different. What’s even crazier to think about is the first person who ever got Lasik eye surgery. Talk about taking the chance of a lifetime. If everything goes right, your vision is impeccable. Something goes wrong? Welp, welcome to blindness. Hats off to you, whoever you are.
7 Inner monologue
Okay, get ready for your head to hurt, because we can pretty much guarantee that you’ve never noticed this one. The voice in your head is one volume and the volume cannot be changed. That’s right. Whether you’re whispering something to yourself or envisioning yourself telling someone off loudly, your inner monologue volume remains the same. Suddenly talking to yourself feels like telling your friend a story about a crazy fight during a movie. You're trying to demonstrate all of the yelling that went on but are forced to keep your voice at a reasonable level. Considering you're likely trying to scream in your head right now, we'll go ahead and assume you know what we're talking about (and how crazy it makes you feel). If it's any consolation, know that this is driving us nuts, as well.
6 Alternate universe
Over the years, science has revealed some pretty crazy stuff about our universe. Given the discovery of black holes, ice deposits under the surface of Mars, and other galaxies entirely, we’d say anything is possible at this point – even alternate universes. Maybe such a universe exists millions of lightyears away, in a place we won’t discover for decades if not centuries. Or maybe, just maybe, it already exists … in our brains! That’s what this photo is suggesting at least. And given the eery similarity between the shape of our brain cells and the Universe itself, we’re starting to get convinced ourselves. What if, in fact, what we perceive as “Earth” is merely a brain cell in another human? What if we are nothing but a figment in someone else’s imagination? We can't tell whether this is trippy or scary.
Okay, this is another brain teaser. We have to admit, we hadn’t really put this together until now. After all, we’re talking about our faces here. Something that has been with us since we were born. We touch our faces every day. We clean them, pluck hairs off them, put makeup on them, and present them to the world… everyday. And yet, we’ve never truly seen them with our own two eyes. We’ve merely seen reflections of them on mirrors or the pupils of others. We’ve seen photographs, both flattering and unflattering. But we’ve never had an exact replica of ourselves standing before us that we can observe without any other medium present. Twins come close, but even that is not truly seeing yourself, mannerisms and all. Freaky.
5 Plus size patriarchy
It’s no secret that the patriarchy that keeps the males and females on uneven pedestals is alive and well. There’s still a higher tax on female toiletry items than the one on male’s. There’s still an alarming wage gap. And the chances of seeing a woman catcall a man versus the alternative, is still 1 to a million (numbers inflated for dramatization). Point is, there’s still a lot to be angry about, even if you’re a man. Why? Because the patriarchy still perpetuates the belief that showing emotion is not manly, that men should remain at work even when they have a baby in the house, and as this Tumblr user pointed out, that men should strive to have (usually unattainable) “perfect” bodies. While many companies are taking strides to include woman of all body sizes in their campaigns, many have yet to extend that same respect to men. That’s right. You may have seen some beautiful round-bellied women in ads lately, but if you really think about it, you’ve never seen a dude with a dad bod on any. Yep, we’re pretty mind-blown about it ourselves.
4 Childhood ruined
Woah, guys, settle down. This whole discussion has got us feeling as queasy as the first time we read a hidden Disney eggs post. What we’re saying is: YOU’RE RUINING OUR SACRED CHILDHOOD, TUMBLR. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a beloved Christmas classic. It’s a sweet story about a little loner reindeer who was getting made fun of because of his out-of-the-ordinary face and was taken under Santa’s wing. Sure, upon further inspection, it’s probably riddled with dark themes and ugly societal truths, but can’t we just enjoy the innocence on a superficial level? Can’t we just glide over the deeper meaning for once?! Yeah, we figured the answer to that was no. Now we’re adults and have to give up on all of the sweet ignorance we enjoyed as children. Now we have to remember that Rudolph is kind of just an exploited reindeer and Santa is kind of a dick.
3 Killed off
Alright, folks, as if you didn’t have enough reasons to mourn the death of one of your favorite TV characters, here’s another one for you—not only was the death scene probably incredibly difficult for the actor to deliver, but essentially we’re watching the character get fired from the show. Obviously, most characters get killed off to propel the story forward, not because their actors suck or anything, but it’s still crazy that the actors that play these roles aren’t getting fired in the same way that someone working in an office would get fired. It’s just like, “sorry, we really like you, but your character needs to get killed off, so … we need you to clear out your trailer by next Friday. Nothing personal.” Then, the actor can’t just pack up their stuff, leave and try to figure out the next phase of their life, but they have to stay and act out their own death scene. And act like they don’t know they’re about to get killed off/fired. Man, oh man.
2 Learning about yourself
Woah, things are getting meta in here. When put like this, it suddenly becomes evident that we really are just a compilation of cells in the shape of a human body studying other compilations of cells that are in the shapes of other things. To put it in an even grander scope, it’s like what Carl Sagan used to say: “we’re just a way for the universe to know itself.” Which is totally true. If we really are made out of material from the universe, whenever we study anything about the universe, we’re essentially learning about ourselves. Talk about an existential revelation. This is almost as intense as when we realized the brain named itself. That was pretty crazy, too.
1 Brain teaser
This one really shouldn't affect us as much as it is. After all, when this person said fractionally, they really meant fractionally. It's just a coat of paint we're talking about. It's not that much at all. It's nothing really. It's like a coat of nail polish. But on a wall, in a room. On the other haaaand, for some reason, we can't stop thinking of a room closing in on us when we read this. Imagine a room that gets painted over and over and over again. THAT would make a difference. Sure, it would take thousands of coats of paint, meaning thousands of different people living in the space and painting the room over and over. Impossible? Probably. Kind of mind-blowing? Totally.