Though the legal age differs in country to country, the effects of drinking are all the same. We end up having a few too many drinks, we stuff our faces with fast food, then we go home and fall asleep in all our clothes. It's a weekend ritual for some. However, the older we get, the harder it is to keep up with our 21-year-old selves. We can no longer drink until 4am — these days we're lucky if we don't fall asleep at midnight. And then on those rare occasions where we think we're younger than we really are, the day after is a complete waste. We're dehydrated, we have headaches, some of us are puking... The only thing we can focus on is getting in the car and going to McDonald's to fill up on grease just to feel better.
Follow along and shake your head in agreement at these 15 memes about having way too much to drink.
15 The Worst Is Yet To Come
It's all fun and games at the bar, but once you get home and have a glass of water, you realize that it's only going to get worse.
The day following a drinking bender is always the worst. Our brains feel fuzzy, we're moving slow, we're not sure if we're hungry, thirsty, or angry...being hungover is the worst. It almost makes us wonder why the heck we drink alcohol to begin with. Is a fun night on the town REALLY worth not being able to move out of bed for 24 hours? Okay, I'm sure I'll get different responses to that question, but for me personally, it's definitely not. There's nothing worse than awaiting the hangover.
When we realize how bad our hangover is about to be, the only advice I have for you is to stuff your face with bread and drink Gatorade. That hangover is coming with or without your consent.
14 Be Quiet, Sun
When you're hungover — everything hurts. The sun is loud, your fingernails are sore, your phone light is blinding... nothing is ever simple and calm. We pretty much all look like Roger (above) from American Dad!
Most restaurants, homes, and store frown upon wearing sunglasses indoors (I mean, they're literally called SUNglasses), but when you're hungover, those sunglasses are your new best friend. They keep the light to a minimum, which makes your headache a little softer. Now if only someone created a thing called 'hungover sunglasses.' Those babies would have extra dark lenses, ear plugs that hung off the the sunglass band, and maybe even a little device that massaged your temples while you wore them. That would be dope. I mean, we can always just stay home, too....but what's the point of being hungover if you don't get to stuff your face at brunch the next morning?
13 WALK STRAIGHT
I remember being in high school and everyone who JUST started experimenting with alcohol told me to "know my limit." I always wondered, "WTF is my limit? What does that even mean?" Essentially, your limit is your drunk self telling you sober self when you've had enough to drink. There's a clear line between being completely deranged and feeling just right. For instance, I'm a wine drinker, and after three glass of wine, I know I should cool it with the drinks — maybe fill up on some water for a while. But not everyone knows their limit. There are some people out there who are SO excited to be out drinking, that they just take shot after shot until it's too late. By the time the alcohol hits them — they're a drooling mess.
So yes — it's important to know yourself and your body. Know when to say to say "no thanks!" instead of "four Bud Lights and three Tequila Sunrises."
12 I've Been Shot!
I have a theory, okay? So buckle up and listen.
Most of us go to college these days. Whether it's community college, university, med school, and beyond — most of us are lucky enough to be well educated. This means that most of us graduate undergrad around the age of 21 or 22 (depending, of course). Now, my theory is that as soon as our bodies reach the age of 23, a little switch goes off. Our body knows that we are now 23, and it's time to get our s*** together. So instead of having our alcohol tolerance be five drinks, each year the drink count goes down.
Now that we're older, our limit is, like, two drinks — and somehow our hangovers are worse than they were in college. It's a sick joke; a sick joke indeed.
11 What Is Wrong With You?
I don't know too many people who aren't brutally affected by drinking, but when I do come across these people, I always end up looking at them like they're some kind of rare zoo animal. How did they take 10 shots last night, eat four tacos, puke on the curb, and wake up feeling refreshed and ready for a mimosa? What the hell is their body doing that mine isn't?! I mean, I love my body—I think most of us do—but why didn't we skip the whole hangover gene? It sucks. Also: there's nothing worse than being hungover and recovering, while your friend is over there picking flowers and giggling like NOTHING is hurting.
Whenever this happens — just kick your friend out. Tell them to go grab you a Starbucks and then to leave you alone.
10 CLEANSE ME
I swear there is nothing more refreshing and rejuvenating than a shower. Whether you're upset, sick, hungover, or sleepy — a shower will cure all. Not only are shower thoughts deep AF, but the scents of our body wash, the warmth of the water...it's all so calming.
Now, this may be a little dangerous, but sometimes when I get home after a crazy night out, I jump in bathroom for a quick shower. It wakes me right up and gets me all nice and cozy for a deep night's sleep. So yes, essentially I look like Jesus in the meme above.
The hardest part about taking a shower when you're drunk or hungover is physically peeling your clothes off you and trying not to slip to your death.
9 I Need This Framed
I need to know who designed this image — it's breathtaking and truth speaking. As soon as we get home from the bar, most of us chug water to keep us hydrated while we sleep, so that when we wake up, our hungover isn't that bad. And then as the morning goes on, we realize we should have some sugar in our system, so we start guzzling Gatorade. And as soon as we think we're ready to consume something, we realize we're not even close... so we start drinking even more Gatorade. It's not until 4pm rolls around that we're ready for some food. But nothing healthy food. We can't eat a vegan meal when we're hungover. We need fast-food value meals and salt. We need an XL Coke and bread. We need every condiment known to man sans the napkins. GIVE US FAST FOOD OR GIVE US DEATH.
8 Can Someone Massage My Head?
There isn't a Sex and the City meme that I don't like. I swear we have all been Charlotte at least once in our lives. There are just some of those days when we drink and everything starts hurting. Personally, whenever I wake up the day after drinking, my knees always hurt. Why, I have no f****** idea. It's not like I was dancing too hard or fell or anything like that. My knees are just yelling at me for treating my body like a garbage pail. It's hurtful.
And like Charlotte, sometimes the smallest things hurt us without explanation. So the next time your hair (or knees) hurt, pay whoever lives with you a dollar and ask for a massage. A simple head massage (or foot massage for that matter) can make all the difference.
7 Have Fun, Guys...
Unfortunately for my friends, I was Snow White in college. I was the gal who had way more drinks than my friends, so I ended up staying home and they ended up going out to the bars. It stinks because you and your friends ALL have to be on the same drinking wavelength. One can't be on their third drink while you're on your first. Everyone must be insync (preferably while listening to N*Sync). The sh***y part about this scenario is, before someone got way too drunk and couldn't make it out, the hopes for the night were so high. There was going to be dancing, gossip, drinks, secrets — it was going to be the night that made the week! But not anymore. One person had to spoil it all.
THIS IS THE MEME I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE. It's so hard to explain to the younger generation about what it feels like to be a older and drinking. Since most of us are visual learners, this side-by-side comparison of an avocado is the perfect explanation. We're ripe and ready as a young 21-year-old, but once those mid-twenties roll around, get ready to be rotten avocado. Get ready to be thrown out, because it's unwanted. Not only do we feel like a rotten and bruised avocado, but I also feel like most of us feel "too old" to be in the club. Even if we're having fun, I feel like we're all a little self-conscious that we're too old to be hangin' with the kids. However, the truth is that all those young kids don't actually care that us mid-twenties adults are there. They're just trying to have fun.
5 PIZZA FTW
I can't tell by the logo, is this delivery from Pizza Hut or Dominos? You know what, it doesn't matter, this is the most savage and beautiful thing I have ever seen. Not only did this pizza company ACTUALLY follow the exact directions that "Dave" suggested, but now this dude gets pizza in bed without ever having to get up! The delivery woman legit just walked into this person's house and gave them pizza in bed... geez, some people just have all the luck. I would love to try something like this out the next time I have too much to drink, but I would be too paranoid that the delivery person was going to abduct me instead. I wouldn't even be excited to see the pizza in my bedroom, I would be too terrified that they were going to take advantage of me and my home. However, I do have to give Dave props for being an inspiration to many.
4 Someone Send Help
Have you ever been so hungover, sick, or drunk that after a few hours of sitting in the same place, you wonder what the heck you look like? It's like something suddenly hits you that you look like an absolute wreck and that if anyone saw you in that moment — they'd probably run for the hills. And after a night downtown, the following morning leads us to laying in bed watching Snapchat videos from the night before. Or, even worse, untagging every unflattering photo that your friends tagged you in on Facebook. (WHY DO THEY DO THIS?) I'll tell you what: find friends who know you look like s**t in photos, and do you the courtesy of not posting them. Even though they might look flawless, they know you look like a bag of trash, so they skip the photo and look at other possibilities. Now those are friends we all need!
3 Should I Help Or...
Okay, while we're on the subject of friends, let's all admit that even though most of our friends are exceptional, they all have those moments where you just wanna drop kick them. Just look at Julianne Hough above. Her friend is clearly vomiting into the ocean, whether it was due to alcohol, food poisoning, or motion sickness, and Hough DGAF. Oh, you're puking? Keep going, let me grab my phone. You're doing great, sweetie. Sure, I bet she offered her help, but not without a few videos and photos first!
I'm sure the woman who is puking in the photo wanted to throw Hough's phone into the water, but instead, she probably just retaliated in the most "friend" way possible: she took unflattering picture of Hough and posted them as blackmail.
2 What Did I Do
If it wasn't for our handy dandy cell phones and apps like Snapchat, I don't think most of us would remember what we did the night before. And honestly, it would be kind of fun to have a weekend like that. Everyone gets together, goes out on the town, has too much to drink, and no one's there photographing evidence. You're dancing like an idiot, your friend is kissing some old dude, another friend is peeing with a stranger — and none of you are going to remember it in the morning. It's for the best. We can't have that kind of proof hanging around the Internet. We just want to blame our drunk actions on our drunk alter egos. (Also, if no one has given themselves a drunk alter ego, I highly suggest doing so. There's nothing more amusing than blaming everything you do on someone who just isn't real.)
I have never, ever thought about my fast-food preference for the following day when I'm hungover. But as we can see from the post above, this person is proactive. Not only did they think ahead, but they ordered enough food for the whole village. They knew they were going to get messy at the bar, and decided to make the next day a little easier on themselves. They placed an order for noon the next day and voila! They have a whole lot of pizza, potato wedges, chicken strips, and whatever the hell else they ordered from Dominos.
I don't know who this kid is (hi Conor), but I'm pretty sure they just figured this whole "hangover" thing out. Congrats kid, and thanks for the idea.