First dates are never easy, but blind dates can take that awkwardness to entirely new levels. You can’t get more awkward than two strangers meeting up for a somewhat forced romantic evening. Sadly, blind dates are out of your control and you can only hope that whoever set you up has your best interests in mind. Unfortunately, for these next few people, it doesn’t always seem that way. Some of these confessors below were asked to spank your date in diapers, thought they were going to be murdered, were just looking for a hookup, and one got pushed into a duck pond. There are plenty of reasons why blind dates seem like the worst idea possible. Thankfully these blind daters were able to share some of their firsthand experiences. Here are 15 blind date stories that are actually true.
15 Adult Diapers
What is it about blind dates with total strangers that make people think it’s okay to act out your weirdest fetishes? According to Jenna on Thought Catalog, she was set up on a blind date with a "Wall Street type guy." The date was going really well up until the point when he invited her back to his place after telling her that he was wearing an adult diaper and liked to be spanked. Naturally, she wasn’t expecting to hear anything like that and promptly excused herself to the bathroom and got the hell out of there. You have to think that if this guy is more than willing to share something like this with a total stranger, then just imagine what he is willing to do/say to someone he is in a relationship with. Can you say sex dungeon?
While it’s not out of the ordinary for someone to not look like their online picture, it’s another thing to have a picture of someone else and a different name. According to this guy who shared his story to People, he went on a blind date with a girl he was chatting online with and when he discovered she wasn’t who she said she was, the girl’s excuse was she had a crazy ex and that she used her sister’s photo and name. That’s make sense, except later on she said she was an only child. If that wasn’t strange enough, the girl didn’t use any utensils during dinner. We should mention they were at a steak restaurant. She ate the steak and potatoes with her hands. The guy was grossed out by this, as she should’ve, and told her that he was going to take his to go. She asked if she could have his and then ate his dinner too. If this story wasn’t crazy enough, the waitress came over and asked when her due date was. The date replied that she’s due in two months! Who even asks someone that? But what’s with that answer?!
If any of you have a weak stomach, you might want to skip to the next shocking blind date story in this list. This one is going to be pretty gross. Sarin77 from the website SheKnows, confessed that he went on a blind date with a girl who would not stop picking at her scabs. First things first; this is so wrong because we all know that if you pick scabs you disrupt the healing process and you increase the risk of bacteria getting in and you risk getting a bigger scar. Secondly, that’s just disgusting to do in front of someone else. This girl wouldn’t stop picking them and eventually made a pile of scabs on the restaurant table. The guy went use the bathroom and when he came back to the table, his soup was there, but the girl’s scab pile was not. See, you were better off skipping this one.
12 What Is Brunch?
There are some off limit topics when it comes to dating. For example, you never want to talk about religion or politics on the first date. Judging from this next blind date, you may want to add brunch to that list of off limit topics. According to Rae A. on Self, she and a and guy met for oysters and drinks and ended up getting into a heated 30-minute argument about brunch! They were arguing about whether brunch is determined by the menu or timeframe of the meal. (We all know that it’s determined by the timeframe). If the brunch argument wasn’t crazy enough, the guy went on to tell her that her job in public relations was stupid and ended up making her pay for the date! This is why you should never talk about brunch on the first date. Thankfully, this girl never spoke to him again.
11 Now You See It
Never go on a blind date with a magician. K.k. Mallory told BuzzFeed she learned that the hard way. The problem with magicians is all of the sleight of hand that they do. They can be very tricky people. If that wasn’t bad enough, this magician was already drunk when this girl arrived. The magician wanted to do a magic trick and asked to borrow her ring, which she gave him. That was her first mistake; giving the drunk magician her ring. Actually, that was the second mistake. The first mistake was going on a blind date with him. The magician made her ring disappear but never made it reappear. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the magician stole her ring. When the girl tried to end the conversation so she could get out of there with the rest of her jewelry, the magician taped her mouth shut with duct tape and told her that she was being annoying. Let’s be glad he didn’t have a rabbit on him.
10 Lucky Dentures
You really put a lot of faith in your friends who set you up on a blind date. If the date goes well, they are the first person to thank. If the date goes poorly, you begin to question if they were even your friends to begin with. Take this next blind date story for example. Melissa on Thought Catalog was set up on a blind date by her supposed “friends.” We say “supposed” because when the guy got arrived at the restaurant, the topics of discussion were about "his schizophrenic mother, his traumatic home life, and the denture plate" of his dead father that he carries around for good luck. In case any of you were wondering, yes, he did indeed take the denture plate out to show her. The guy then added a “nice boobs, by the way,” just for good measure. We guess that the denture plate wasn’t that lucky because she left right after that.
9 Dick Pics For Dinner
There is a time and place for dick pics. Actually, that’s debatable. What’s not debatable is that a blind date being the time to take them. According People, this next girl went on a blind date with a guy who was actually very charming. He took her to a fancy restaurant with awesome food and an even better atmosphere. However, all good things must come to an end because after the main course, the guy felt the need to pull out his phone and show her tons of pictures of his dick. We’re not kidding. They were pictures from different angles and with different lighting. If that wasn’t uncomfortable enough for this girl, imagine having to be in the car with him as he drives her home. Why this girl didn’t call for a cab, we’ll never know. I guess she liked the pictures?
8 Two For One
There are some things that even we can’t make sense of. This next blind date story from SheKnows is one of those things. Prior to this next guy’s blind date, the girl asked if her best friend could come along with them. Don’t get us wrong. This is not a normal thing to do, but we can at least understand where she’s coming from. As you can see from these previous examples, there are a lot of nuts out there and it’s always better to be safe than sorry. The guy happily obliged his date’s request, thinking that she would be bringing a girl along. When their date finally came around, the girl showed up with her friend, who turned out to be a guy. If that wasn’t crazy enough, the guy was her ex boyfriend! According to the girl, they had remained best friends after breaking up and the had no feelings for one another. We’re this close to giving up on dating.
7 Cold Blooded Killer
If you ask women what they look for in a guy, most will say that confidence is the number one thing. While confidence is the number one thing, not being a killer comes in at a close second. According to Marisa Kahla's admission on BuzzFeed, while on a blind date, her date thought it would be a good idea to tell her that he has killed a man before. There was no set up to this admission or anything else like that. It was just a completely random statement. The guy said “yeah, I killed a guy once” as nonchalantly as someone would say what they had for breakfast. You may have thought that him killing someone was the weirdest thing he said on the date, but sadly, it was not. The guy also told this girl that "he has seen Bigfoot in his backyard" and that the NSA is spying on him through his computer. Check please!
6 The Bowel Movement
There are some subjects that most people prefer not talking about, with bowel movements being one of those. Let’s just say that it’s best to take care of your business before you go out on a date. Unfortunately, according to Regan's submission on Match, her date never got the memo. When he went to pick up his blind date, he asked if he could use her bathroom. Why this guy waited until he picked his blind date up, we’ll never know. It was actually a pretty bad situation because he was in the bathroom for over 20 minutes. What made this a hundred times worse was that the girl’s apartment was small and the bathroom was next to the living room so she was able to hear everything. You’re probably thinking that it smelled bad after. You’d be wrong; it smelled far worse than bad. There was no way this girl was going to be able to see him a ‘romantic’ light after this incident.
5 Ex Boyfriend
Okay, we’re having a very hard time trying to process this next shocking blind date story. Though Catalog published Kara's story where she was set up on blind date with a friend of a friend. Apparently, she didn’t think it was necessary to ask for the guy’s name or age, but whatever. We can’t even begin to imagine what must have gone through this girl’s mind when her ex boyfriend showed up to the restaurant. How does this even happen? How do you get set up on a blind date and it turns out to be your ex? You would think that’s something that the person setting the two of them up would already know. What makes this situation even more uncomfortable is that they didn’t end on good terms. It was a bad breakup and they haven’t spoken since. This little reunion was so awkward that the two of them couldn’t even laugh about this. They just went their separate ways. This actually made us feel uncomfortable.
4 Not Interested
There’s no greater feeling than when a first date goes well. The person you go out with is attractive, smart, funny, you have a lot in common, and you build an amazing connection with them. Just look at this next blind date. People introduced us to a guy who was set up with the daughter of one of his parents’ friends. In a strange turn of events, the girl was actually prettier than the pictures he saw of her. They went to dinner and movie and it went incredibly well. It turns out they both had a lot in common and he was really starting to fall for this girl. You’re probably asking yourselves, “I don’t understand, everything seems to be going great. What’s the problem?” Well, the problem came when he went to put his arm around her waist and she abruptly pushed him away. She had neglected to tell him that she was a lesbian and only went out with him to make her parents happy. Did we mention that they had to sit through the movie after this awkward exchange?
3 Smoking Hot
Some people just have all the luck. This next guy went on a blind date with a smoking hot girl. Like seriously hot. We’re talking almost 1100 degrees Fahrenheit hot! We’re saying the girl is smoking hot in the sense that she kept lighting matches while on their date. That’s right, this guy on SheKnows bagged himself a pyromaniac. It didn’t just stop with her lighting the matches. No, not even remotely. After she would light the matches, she would put them out with her fingers. Ouch! But we’re not done yet. After putting out the matches with her fingers, she would then eat the burnt matchstick head. The problem with a girl like this, other than the obvious, is how do you get out of this date? If she is willing to eat burnt matches, there’s a good chance she might overreact and set you on fire.
2 Duck Pond
When the weather is warm and the sun is shining, a stroll through the park is a great date idea. It’s casual, it’s great for having conversation, it’s romantic, and it doesn’t drain your wallet. However, if the date is annoying, not even the beautiful outdoors can make you feel better. According to BeckinghamPalace's submission to BuzzFeed, she went on a blind date in the park but the park was the nicest part of it because the guy was incredibly annoying. At the end of the date, the guy went in for a kiss and the girl declined. If the girl isn’t feeling it, just be a gentleman about it. However, this guy was no gentleman. After being denied his kiss, he thought it would be proper to push her into the duck pond. To make matters worse, the girl can’t swim, so someone had to come help her out. Who says chivalry is dead?
1 Drunk and Disorderly
Going for drinks is a classic first date idea. First dates can be nervous and a little alcohol in the system can help loosen the two of you up. However, it’s not a good idea to loosen up on your own before the actual date. Match.com explained how Jen had a blind date show up to pick her up for their date two hours late. Naturally, she assumed that he had stood her up so she had gotten in her pjs and was chilling in bed. And who should show up at her door two hours late and drunk? Her blind date. The guy didn’t even apologize; he just told her that he was out drinking with his friends, like that was a normal thing to do before a date. Being the romantic guy that he is, he suggested the have their date right then and there because she was in bed and that’s how it would have ended up anyway. That’s very considerate of him.