From a little girl's childhood dreams to a bride's pride and joy, the wedding dress is one aspect of getting hitched that can make or break a gal's big day. We all hope for a dress that will perfectly accentuate our figures, glossing over any McDonald's induced stress weight, and making us look like an actual princess for our special day. Unfortunately, not every dream dress is in our price range... and sometimes, trying to cut corners in this department can lead to disastrous results.
The world of online shopping can be a bride's greatest treasure or a bride's worst move yet. When it comes to picking the perfect dress, some online shops can entice a thrifty bride into believing that she's getting a great deal on a gorgeous gown. But when that package finally arrives, sometimes you realize that you get what you pay for... and in these poor brides' situations, they probably wish they wouldn't have paid for these dresses at all.
15 Follow the butterflies
Good idea: a skirt covered in beautiful fabric butterflies. It's the kind of thing that screams, "So romantic, you could only get away with it on your wedding day," which means that when you get the chance, you take it. You wear your butterfly wedding dress and you romp in the wildflowers with the man that you love, because it's your day, honey, and you can be as over-the-top and magical as your sweet little heart desires.
Unless, of course, the dress that you ordered looks perfect for that kind of thing, but the dress you received looks like an art student's last-minute final project. Nobody likes wearing cheap fabric, but the least they could have done was attempt to butterfly that skirt up properly. As it is, those butterflies look more like they were cut out by small children and stapled to the skirt as an afterthought.
14 Not as it appeared
That picture on the right is of a dress that could absolutely slay, girl! The sweetheart neckline, the way it hugs that gorgeous model's perfect figure, the tulle train that makes her look so ethereal that she doesn't even seem to be of this world? Ugh! Love. Which is probably what the poor bride who ordered the dress in the first place was thinking, too...
Unfortunately, what she got was the dress on the left. Gone is the neckline—now, this dress features something akin to a bodice that will make your boobs look like irregular potatoes. The beautiful beading at the waist? Nah, now you have a length of hospital bandage tied in a lopsided bow. That gorgeous skirt is in ruins, and instead of sewing it together, it looks like some bunched up some spare fabric, spat on it, and called it good.
13 Buy cheap, buy twice
Anyone with a lick of sense could tell that the dress depicted in the original image would be a winner on pretty much any figure. That wrapped look around the stomach could slenderize even a shotgun wedding baby weight tummy, and the texturized pattern on the bodice and skirt is too lovely not to stare at.
Which is a real bummer, then, because the dress that this poor bride ended up with is pretty much a disaster in cheap, white synthetic silk. We're pretty sure we've seen the pattern on that skirt's fabric on some local bus seats, and whatever's going on with the bodice? It's safe to say that's not the look she was going for.
12 The mummy
That right there is the face of a woman who purchased a dress that was displayed on a model with her specific body type and has realized that in the game of online budget wedding dress shopping, it doesn't matter what the model looks like. The model could be a lab skeleton, a T-Rex, or comedian Andy Dick. In the game of online budget wedding dress shopping, there is no winning. You're only ever going to lose.
The model's dress: a sweet, conservative cut, elegant yet simple, A+. The dress that showed up: looks like something that the Egyptian priests tried to wrap a pharaoh in when they were still perfecting the art of mummification. As for that waistline, whoever decided that crotch-level was the appropriate place for a dress' waist to hit should be forced to eat their own fabric scissors. Yikes.
11 Quilted northern
In the grand scheme of things, you could probably almost call this a win. It might not look exactly like the picture, no, but that picture was probably pulled off of a high-end wedding boutique's website, whereas this dress was cobbled together by a stranger on Etsy. It still has a shape, more or less, and it doesn't look like someone put it together with some Elmer's glue and a roll of duct tape.
But then, upon closer inspection, the reference picture looks like it was carefully patterned with delicate—perhaps even handmade—lace, and the end product kind of looks like someone tried to bedazzle some expensive toilet paper. So ultimately, unless this bride is planning on getting the squirts at Disco Fever night at the local roller rink... yeah, we're going to chalk this up to another fail.
10 Mean & green
Well, they tried. You can't say they didn't try. An attempt was made, just, unfortunately, it was not successful. It didn't, at any point, approach successful. The fabric: cheap. The stitching: rough. The lace: looks like that time we failed that cake decorating course. Through budget materials, shoddy workmanship, and a pattern that would make your grandmother cry, at no point was this one going to be a winner.
But now, let's talk color, because we can safely say that even in this avant-garde world of funky wedding dress colors, no bride in the history of humanity has wanted to get married in that particular shade of green. Either the lighting was off in that sweatshop, or somebody was feeling a little more than green with envy for this bride-to-be.
9 When they said "bandage dress"...
If you're looking between these two images and wondering, "The hell happened there?" then sister, you are not alone. Without the side-by-side, it's hard to tell that these are even the same article of clothing, let alone supposedly the same dress. While the model to the left looks ready to wed-and-bed a foreign prince with a sexy accent, the poor bride to the right looks like she just got out of the hospital, where she was bandaged for stomach wounds.
And for that matter, where the hell is the rest of this skirt? Did the dressmaker feel that for some reason, abdominal pleating was a better direction to go with this than a full-length gown was? We hope this bride bought some really rocking shoes, because with the length of that skirt, it would be a great mercy to give the guests something else to look at.
8 Disco inferno
When we first saw the end result of this sequined number, we weren't just thinking, "Burn, baby, burn," because it looks like a disco ball gone wrong. Actually, we were kind of thinking that the only way for this bride-to-be to rid herself of that monstrosity would be a cleansing fire.
But of course, the horrors of this look doesn't end at those sequins. What is, hands down, the coolest asymmetrical sleeve on the model ends up looking like this bride got caught up in a riot at a Donna Summer's concert and barely escaped with her life.
7 Thrown together
This poor bride must be getting punked. It's the only answer we can come up with, because otherwise, this dressmaker didn't even try. No expense seemed to be spared gathering up as much fabric as they could slap together on this thing, and then they inexplicably finished it off by not finishing it at all. This wedding dress could easily pass as a Halloween ghost costume and no one would be any the wiser—so happy wedding, sweetheart, hope you enjoy your collection of assorted sheets that we stapled together for you!
We've seen wedding dresses made out of toilet paper that looked better than this get-up (and, come to think, this dress looks like it could have been made of toilet paper, too). If they were planning on constructing a wedding dress using the same material that billions of butts are wiped with worldwide on a daily basis, they could have at least sprung for two-ply—but no, it looks like the cut corners there, too.
6 Not all that glitters...
Don't you love it when you think a look is going to be essentially red-carpet ready, and then it turns out that actually, the thing you've purchased is a teenage girl's shower curtain? ...Yeah, us neither, and the buyer of this gown is probably not so into it either.
Marketing something with a red carpet explicitly in the background tells the consumer, "Yes, you too can be a Hollywood starlet for the evening! All the glitz and glamor in the world can be yours on your happy day!" And then proceeding to send them... whatever the hell this is, follows that up with a big, fat, "Hey, you're dumb, your dress is whack, we're already kicking it in the Bahamas with all of your money that you're never getting back." So what if not all that glitters is gold—all we're asking is that maybe people shouldn't make clothes out of the same material they use to make glittery cling wrap.
This bride-to-be looks a lot more confident than we ever would, considering that she's two bra cups away from giving the entire wedding party a solid eyeful. We've been bitching about the see-through nature of women's clothing for years (it's a conspiracy, we're telling you!) but this is some real next-level bullshit. Most women are looking for a wedding dress that says, "I'm a knockout," not, "Hey, wanna see my knockers?"
If there's ever been the perfect wedding dress to announce to your family that you stripped your way through college, here it is. But, y'know, on the off chance that that's not what this bride was going for... well, we hope she got her money back.
4 Less than pleased
The look on this bride's face says it all. She wanted bootylicious like Beyoncé and what she got was a chance to flash all of her loved ones a look at her underwear. This dress is a daring choice for any wedding, but there are some daring brides out there who could pull it off! As it is, though, the dress this bride ended up with looks like a public indecency charge just waiting to happen.
Skirt's too short, sleeves are too short, and no one can really be certain what kind of drugs a pattern-maker would have to be on to think that that figure would be flattering on anyone. This risque lacy muumuu is a fashion fail to a dangerous degree.
3 Going medieval
When the bride-to-be ordered this number, she must have thought she'd discovered perfection. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the linebacker's shoulders required to keep perfection from falling off of her body entirely and don't even get us started on the weird lay of the skirt.
This almost looks like it would be a great look for a medieval-themed wedding, as long as the secondary theme of the wedding was ill-fitting clothing and sadness. As is is, we'd like to go medieval on whoever put this dress together. Squire, bring us our suit of armor and our horse and our lance! A bride should feel like a princess on her wedding day, but not the kind who looks like she's recently narrowly escaped a dragon.
A double-take is in order, because it kind of looks like someone mixed up this lovely vintage-inspired wedding dress with the dress of a very stocky toddler. Did they run out of fabric for the skirt? Do they know how dresses are supposed to work? Even Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan wouldn't have touched this thing with a ten-foot pole at the height of their crotch-flashing club girl days.
We can all understand wanting your husband-to-be to remember all of that sweet, sweet lovemaking you're going to be doing on your honeymoon... but the best way to do that probably isn't to walk down the aisle with your coochie out. When this poor bride remarked that "lining doesn't cover dignity," she wasn't joking.
Not everyone likes the idea of a white wedding, which is fair. Some women feel that it's ingenuine based on their sexual histories; other just don't want to stain their gown with expensive rosé while they're getting white girl wasted during the reception. But no matter what your reasoning, we are morally obligated to stop anyone in their tracks when their idea of "unconventional wedding attire" is this horrendous chimera of a gown.
It looks like the illegitimate love child of a truck stop stripper's costume and a bridesmaid's gown "accidentally" left in the reception hall bathroom. It looks like it was designed based on something that a nine-year-old drew, then colored in with the only two crayons they could find at the time. It physically pains our eyes just to have it in our presence. We would need to drink a lot of champagne at that wedding to believe it was the dress that this bride ordered (because, obviously, it was not).