All the magic of Harry Potter’s world resides in these four little words: “You’re a wizard, Harry.” They make being different and having special abilities acceptable, rather than freakish or weird. It’s the one instance where receiving a label actually opens up a world of possibilities instead of shrinking it down to one single identity.
Even those who aren't diehard Harry Potter fans are probably still familiar with the scene from the first film where Hagrid tells Harry he's a wizard. Thanks to meme culture, that pivotal moment in Harry's life has been turned into a slew of hilarious jokes, puns and alternative scenarios.
It’s impossible to not say or read “Yer a wizard, Harry” in Hagrid’s gruff voice. Plus, it’s now become so quotable that for some fans, it’s an appropriate response anytime something out of the ordinary happens. We’ve scoured the internet for some of the best “You’re a Wizard, Harry” memes, which are sure to make you laugh no matter how much of a Potterhead you might (or might not) be.
15 Follow the spiders, Harry
If Harry had trouble believing a hairy giant who told him he was a wizard, he'd definitely think twice about the validity of that statement coming from a large, hairy spider. Lord knows Ron Weasley definitely wouldn't let this supposed 'wizard' come anywhere near him. Sure, this little tarantula's dressed like a miniature wizard, with a Bugle for a hat and stick for a wand, but let’s be real. He’s not fooling anybody.
Even Hagrid realized that spiders weren’t the most cuddly creatures. “Seriously misunderstood creatures, spiders are. It's the eyes I reckon, they unnerve some people,” he says during Aragog’s funeral. Luckily, this spider’s eyes are covered by its ridiculous excuse for a wizard hat. The Dursleys might’ve been grossed out if a tarantula burst into that sea shanty they tried to run away to, but they could have just stepped on it. Only one of Aragog’s large, hungry children could have truly freaked them out.
14 The only time snowflakes are actually identical
You might have seen another "You're a blizzard, Harry" meme floating around, but it doesn't hold a candle to this one. This is what happens when someone gets Photoshop happy after toking on some weed. Harry himself has literally become a blizzard. His head has multiplied into dozens of identical Harry-shaped snowflakes that are all smiling the same geeky smile (that we happen to love).
Imagine if everyone in Great Britain just went outside one winter day and found out it was snowing Harry Potter. Can you imagine the chaos and confusion? Fangirls would all die of happiness on the spot. Or, you know, they might just get hurt from the impact of Daniel Radcliffe’s head hitting them at full force after falling a few miles at full velocity. The human head weighs around eight pounds after all. That’d be a very messy snowstorm.
13 No need for seven books now
Dumbledore would have been so pissed at Hagrid if he had done this. Throughout all seven books, Harry was basically being prepared to face his fate concerning the prophecy. Only one could live while the other survived because a piece of Voldemort's soul was actually inside of Harry. If he had known at age eleven what he was and had to do, he'd probably have been like "Sorry, wrong Harry. Find someone else!”
In a way, it would have been very considerate of Hagrid to just be upfront with Harry, though. Like, why did he have to get dragged through all that crap just to fulfill his destiny as the chosen one? Did all those people really have to die in order to convince him to sacrifice himself in the end? It really would have saved him a lot of BSing and heartache, but then there wouldn’t have been seven books, would there?
12 That's not the Hogwarts Express
So this meme isn't exactly P.C., but you have to admit, it's still funny. This raft full of people is probably coming from a tragically war-torn country, but little did they know that they had The Boy Who Lived onboard. If Harry had been born in the Middle East, he totally would have looked like this by age 17.
Imagine how different the story of Harry Potter would have been if the great reveal in his life was that he had been a refugee, not a wizard. He'd have had to get amnesia in order to not realize that truth of his past. Maybe that raft got a hole in it or was attacked by sharks and he saved a bunch of people, but bumped his head on some coral in the process. Someone needs to write an alternative universe fan fiction about this version of Harry Potter. Even living in a cupboard under the stairs reeks of white privilege when compared to escaping death at the hands of terrorists.
11 Wizard or technology?
If Harry Potter was written now, you'd better believe that Hagrid telling Harry he's a wizard would go something like this. Harry would be one of those a-hole, know-it-all millennials who are cynical and sarcastic about everything. Poor Hagrid, he's clearly excited for Harry to discover his potential as a wizard, but Harry's just like, "Um, I can do all that already, bro."
The iPhone is pretty magical if you really think about it. It can, in fact, provide light with the touch of your hand, send messages through text and email and amplify your voice for phone calls and FaceTiming. The only problem is, technology doesn't work around magic. So, Harry would have to choose between being a wizard and using his iPhone. That's a hard choice even for a diehard Harry Potter fan. We all practically live on our phones. Sure, there are a lot of things the iPhone can do that a wand can, but can an iPhone levitate people or make someone you despise grow a pig’s tail? Didn’t think so.
10 Stop promoting your heteronormative agenda, Hagrid
Who else thought that Harry (or rather, Daniel Radcliffe) was a bit androgynous as a child? If his hair had been any longer, he could have easily been mistaken for a biological girl. But what if Harry wanted to appear gender neutral on purpose? He was likely at the start of puberty when Hagrid came barreling into his life, telling him he was a wizard and assuming his gender. Is there even a gender-neutral label for magical people?
What if Harry Potter was transgender and thought of himself as a girl, but the Dursleys wouldn't let him wear traditionally feminine clothing? They were already pissed that he demonstrated some magical abilities at a young age, so we bet they'd be damned if he stole Aunt Petunia's dresses and wore makeup. Instead, they dressed him in the most ill-fitting boy’s clothes possible, Dudley’s hand-me-downs, which further suppressed his true gender identity. Then when he finally meets someone who might understand him, he gets called wizard instead of witch. Even “yer magical, Harry,” would have been a better choice here.
9 Facebook identity crisis
How many of you post your everyday thoughts on social media, making sure anyone in the world can be up-to-date on what you're thinking? Harry would have totally been one of those people, asking rhetorical questions like "How the hell did I get this weird ass scar?" He's just looking for someone to pay attention to him after constant neglect by the Dursleys. Social media would have been his little window into the world. Even many of us find out about breaking news on sites like Facebook and Twitter. Why wouldn’t Harry receive a life-changing insight on his Facebook?
It’s pretty funny that someone actually took the time to make a bunch of Harry Potter profiles and set this whole meme up. How appropriate that Albus Dumbledore likes his post—as if to say, “Good. He’s asking the right questions. In a few years, he’ll find out that scar means he’s a Horcrux too.” Meanwhile, Hagrid saved himself a trip to a tiny shack in the middle of the sea during a thunderstorm by just telling Harry the truth of his identity in a Facebook comment. Technology sure makes everything easier.
8 It goes both ways, you know
Hey man, it's the truth, isn't it? Harry Potter may be a wizard, but Hagrid's also an extremely hairy wizard. Isn't the English language grand? We have so many words that sound the same, but have different spellings and meanings. It's a wonder that people who learn English as a second language can understand us at all.
Hagrid sure seems perplexed at how Harry turned that statement around on him. Bet he wasn’t expecting the little Potter kid to have such sass in him. That’s what happens when you leave someone on the doorstep of people who neither want or like you, Hagrid. We thought you’d understand that somewhat since your giant mother left you and your father. Burn!
Poor Hagrid. He’s just trying to follow Dumbledore’s orders. Seriously though, don’t shoot the messenger, Harry. You think you’re so clever, but just wait until you get to Hogwarts, buddy. Then you’ll be glad you have that hairy wizard on your side.
7 Harry Potter and the Incredibly Skilled Barber
All jokes aside, this cartoon is actually pretty adorable. How clever to actually give Hagrid a reason to call Harry a wizard instead of him just showing up out of the blue on Harry’s eleventh birthday. This version actually makes a lot more real world sense. Harry was probably cutting his own hair anyway since the Dursleys probably didn’t give AF.
Hagrid could have really used a haircut at pretty much any point throughout the series. He might have had one during Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire while he was trying to impress Madam Maxime, or he may have just slicked back his hair.
You'd think since all the teachers and students are living at Hogwarts, they'd have a barber nearby. Maybe Hogsmeade had one, but Hagrid probably couldn't have fit in one of their chairs anyway. Maybe he was like Jim Henson who grew a full beard to cover his acne scars. Can half-giants even get acne?
6 Seriously, though, stop
This is probably one of the most disturbing and hilarious "Oh stop it, you" memes out there. Someone actually erased all the features from Daniel Radcliffe's face and put the rage comic character's tiny, modest face on there instead. It's so creepy, you guys! It’s hard to not see this face now when looking at a picture of Harry in his quidditch robes.
If Harry's parents were still alive and he had grown up around the magical community, he might have had this response to Hagrid telling him he’s a wizard. Lily and James Potter were supposed to have been extremely strong wizards. Voldemort even tried to recruit them as Death Eaters at one point, so you know they had to have been good. Growing up around that kind of magical superiority, Harry might have actually ended up more like Draco Malfoy.
5 Sherlock Potter
Isn’t it great when two fandoms crossover into a ridiculously hilarious meme? Sherlock has invaded the “You’re a Wizard, Harry” meme and made it into something even funnier.
First, we have a line of dialogue from one of the Sherlock Holmes novels, which has someone telling him he’s a wizard just like Hagrid does to Harry. Then, Lestrade is plastered onto Hagrid’s head, in a sea of his hair, passing all this information on to Sherlock. And instead of Harry looking surprised at Hagrid, we’re blessed with Benedict Cumberbatch making a horrified face at Lestrade. Where the heck was that pulled from? He looks like he just smelled one of the devil’s farts.
Granted, Sherlock would probably make a pretty horrid grimace at anyone who called him a wizard. This is a man defined by his logic and reason. He’s a genius, not a wizard. Calling him one would be an insult to his intellect, obviously.
4 Hermione's not the only know-it-all
Come on Harry, give Hagrid a break. The guy didn't even get to finish school because he was framed for something he didn't do. He can't help how his Scottish accent looks when it's spelled. If you're going to blame anybody for using "yer," blame J.K. Rowling. She wrote it.
Now Hagrid's all flustered with the realization that Harry's actually a grammar Nazi. He was just trying to deliver a message to the kid. Meanwhile, Harry’s standing there like, “Behold my grammar powers. It’s ‘you’re’ not ‘yer,’ you dumba**.” James and Lily’s kid sure grew up to be a d-bag.
Did they really need to show Daniel Radcliffe as an actual Nazi in Imperium to prove their point? Annoyingly correcting someone’s grammar isn’t quite the same as and killing in the name of Aryan superiority. Maybe we shouldn’t use that word so loosely. Grammar soldier doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, though, does it?
3 Nipples are magic
Well, that's a new one. Someone clearly has too much time on their hands. This guy turned his hairy nipple into a wizard by drawing a face and hat on it. Kind of strange nipple hair pattern he has going on there, but at least he made something creative out of it. Maybe he styled it so it'd look more like a beard at the bottom, but that seems like a stretch even for a guy who turned his nipple into a wizard.
Now we’re just imagining Hagrid as a giant hairy nipple coming into that sea shack to tell Harry he’s a wizard. Harry probably would have been so confused. Forget the fact that it’s an unattached, talking nipple; he’d be like, “Why does that nipple have hair on it?!” And the Dursleys? They’d probably have three simultaneous heart attacks with the comprehension of what they even just witnessed. You win this one, nipple wizard.
2 Drunk Hagrid is the best
This tweet is a work of genius. Someone actually wrote a detailed alternate version of "You're a wizard, Harry" where Hagrid's drunk. Inevitably, his delivery wouldn't exactly be as smooth as Butterbeer. Imagine how belligerent a half-giant could get after a couple dozen pints. It'd probably go a little something like this. He might get his message across the first time around, but after that, we're not as hopeful that it would make much sense. Hey, at least it rhymes. If only someone would make a fan film of Hagrid and Harry meeting at the pub post-Hogwarts, this tweet could fulfill its destiny.
1 Harry's not so little anymore
Does anyone remember when Daniel Radcliffe performed naked in Equus? It was basically his way of telling the world he was no longer a child star, whilst also fulfilling the dreams of adolescent girls and boys everywhere. His character in Equus has an erotic fascination with horses, you guys. He's basically like a real-life Bronie. It was pretty much as weird and intriguing as it sounds. Well, Hagrid seems to have a little trouble with it though.
Dear God, if the actor who played Harry Potter actually did this in real life and caused such an uproar, imagine the impact the fictional character would have had on the wizarding community if he had been the one pulling an Equus. Hagrid would have been scarred for life. He probably would have taken one look at Harry’s naked body wrapped around horse and gladly spent the rest of his days in Azkaban. Dammit Harry, you’re a wizard not a Chippendale.