Being sarcastic by nature is not easy. You have to explain everything, but then that just defeats the purpose of the sarcasm in the first place. I mean, who wants to go around explaining their jokes. Sarcasm isn’t meant to be obviously funny. It’s meant to be something deeper, something more meaningful than your everyday ‘knock knock’ joke. Come on.
If you’re here, you’re probably either sarcastic or you have a friend who is and you desperately need to understand them better. So let’s just talk about this. Let’s talk about the things you’ll only understand if you’re sarcastic or planning on becoming sarcastic. This isn’t recommended by most professionals, but it has been proven that people who are sarcastic live longer, more prosperous lives. Full of laughter, love, and lovely, bubbly friends.
16 You Seem Mean
This is the number one complaint with sarcastic people. Everyone thinks you’re mean! You can’t say one thing without someone taking it wrong. Then, you don’t talk and they think you’re mad. So you try to fit in, give your two sadistic cents, and move on. A thousand more cents on your mind.
But then, you think of something else. In your mind, it’s funny and only slightly true. But, then, you end up sounding like you’re calling your friend’s aunt fat, poor, and smelly. When, really, it wasn’t her you were making fun of, you just found a good opportunity for a “perfect” comment. She was just a vessel! A vessel for sarcastic perfection, not a mean insult. This is why you need new friends, right? Keep telling yourself that.
15 You Hate How No One Fires Back
Sometimes you just really wish your friends and family would make sarcastic comments at your expense. They have no idea how loved you would feel if they did so. In fact, the first time they see you cry is when they make a, what they would call, an “insult”. You would never feel so loved.
But no one will do that for you. So you spend the majority of your life alone…hoping you’ll meet someone who will fire back…just once…that’s all it would take. It’s one of the purposes of continuously firing comments at your closest friends. Surely, they’ll eventually get that you want to feel the pain that they do. You want to suffer! You want to laugh until your side hurts…if only someone could give you the pleasure.
14 People Think You’re Dumb When You’re Witty
This is the reason you explain your jokes. If you don’t, people think the dumb comment you made was real. You are actually making fun of something someone did, but instead, they think you’re the one who said something dumb. In your mind, you’re above their comment. In their mind, they’re above yours. When, you could have just been equals if they would have understood your joke.
But then, they have to go and make everything all complicated and make you explain everything. Then they try their hand at sarcasm with a simple, “sure” when you tell them what you really meant. Thus frustrating scene never gets better. It’s really awful, actually. So you are dumb and mean…that’s you, the dumb, mean person that no one likes.
13 You Can’t Handle Serious Moments
If things get real, it takes a lot for you to follow suit. It’s not like everything’s a joke, but you believe that even serious moments deserve a little flavor. What would make that awkward serious moment better? A dash of satire! That will make it better. You almost succumbed to being serious for a moment, but your witty little mind saved you! Right on!
If you can keep everything “light” it will all be okay. Then no one has to suffer. You can all spend your days sending memes instead of talking about…feelings. You have to constantly remind your friends that this isn’t high school and you’re not a 16-year-old drama queen who talks about her personal issues. Not that you’re calling your friends 16-year-old drama queens who talk about their personal issues
12 You Think It’s A Cure-All
Speaking of, you think that when someone is down, all they need is a little sarcasm as a pick-me-up. If they just went through a break-up, your first thought is to say something clever about their ex. Hey, now they really are dating a dog. If your friend’s grandmother died, nothing a simple, “You know how she was always saying she missed your grandfather. Don’t think that’s what she meant though” won’t fix. Better than your first thought of, “I thought the cat lady said she had nine lives?”
This can get you in trouble, but if roles were reversed, those beautiful comments would make everything a lot better. You’ve probably already written out your will filled with spot-on, death-related one liners. In fact, you read it every time you’re feeling down.
11 Meeting New People Is Tough
This kind of goes with the “mean” thing. No one understands you. People are always telling you to be nice when introducing you to a new person. You just roll your eyes, smile, and say, “they told me to be nice” with a half-glare at your friend.
Then there’s dating…a whole another story. Like…does it exist? The worst thing is when your date thinks your comments are cute. “I’m not cute! You don’t understand my wit, you peasant. Be gone, and give me your fries!” The person your with most likely is used to your sarcasm by now and has hopefully picked up a few things from the master. If not, it’s time for some Sarcasm 101. This is going to take a while, but for laughs…I mean, love, it’s worth every moment.
10 You’re Hard To Impress
You feel bad when someone shows you something that you didn’t know was funny and expects you to laugh. Or when they’re telling you a story and they pause. You wait for them to finish until they tell you…that was it. Should you fake laugh now? Or tell them it wasn’t funny? Or save them the embarrassment and tell them you “didn’t get it”?
It’s really tough. I mean, you want to make others feel good about their humor, but you can’t always predict when they are telling a joke or showing you something funny. Hey, now you know how others feel about your humor! They don’t’ get it…they don’t understand how you could see it as funny. They are unimpressed and your jokes make them want to cry.
9 You Get A Small Thrill Out Of Using Sarcasm
Every comment you make explodes with happiness on the inside. If you get a good line in, your insides feel like rainbows and unicorns and Squidward’s first Krabby Patty. Glorious. It might take you days to get over it too. You may randomly crack up in conversation. But when asked what’s so funny, you probably will say, “nothing, it’s too complicated”. Because, no one wants to tell a three day old story that revolves around one comeback.
Well…might as well tell them anyway! As you expected, no one laughed…no one thought it was funny…you felt like them…not funny. What a horrendous life they must live. Maybe they’ll like your meme of the week. It could redeem you! Nope…they didn’t laugh. They thought it was a sad meme…no…nothing ever works out like you planned.
8 Memes Are Your Friend And You Have 1000+ Saved On Your Phone
Yes. You don’t have to deny it. If you see a great meme, you better bet you’ll share it. It beats talking or using actual words any day! If it were up to you, you’d never say one word in text, but use gifs and memes at every available moment. Why don’t you have a personal meme library? Oh, never mind you do. Now if only you could find the time to label them all and sort them into categories.
You got to remember the Dewey Decimal System so you can mark them accordingly…maybe you should make a meme app. Then, you could have memes ready for any and every situation known to man! If only you weren’t called inappropriate too. No, a funeral is not a bad time to show a meme! If it’s relatable that is.
7 You Have To Say “I’m Just Kidding” On A Regular Basis
Never have you gone one week without saying “I’m just kidding” when you hurt someone’s feelings. Expect that one week you decided to ban yourself from the sentence and made that one girl cry. It wasn’t on purpose. You even tried to make up for it by calling yourself dumb too. But really, how many times do you have to day “I’m just kidding?” When will people understand? When will they join or just accept you for who you are?
The “funny” not “mean” friend. Funny! How many times do you have to tell them that you are funny? You’re not mean, you don’t give insults. In fact, if you give an “insult” it’s actually a compliment, because you’re not wasting your comments on people you don’t’ care about.
6 You’re Bad At Pretending You Like Someone
When you see someone you don’t like, most people put on a happy face and carry on a normal conversation. This is next to impossible for you to do. You’d prefer to just acknowledge that neither of you like each other so you should stop pretending. Hopefully, the person you don’t like is just like you and will accept this idea.
I don’t like you. You don’ like me. We really don’t need to talk. Let’s just be on our way and pretend each other doesn’t exist. That would be blissful to never have to talk to anyone you don’t like. Then again, that would mean you couldn’t go to family reunions anymore…hmmm…maybe this is a better plan than you thought. No school reunions, no family reunions.
5 People Say You Have An Attitude
You’ve been told a million times that you have an attitude to which you lower your brow and deny it. You’re not mean, and you don’t have an attitude. Sorry, but you do have an attitude. What you should reply with is, “I do have an attitude, but it’s not a bad one.”
After all, good attitudes are possible. Everyone has an attitude. Attitude is personality and boy do you have personality! It doesn’t always show, but it’s there. People just have to stop being so easily offended and they’d see how interesting you are. You may be the world’s most interesting person. Who knows? Have you ever done the statistics? Have you ever measured your interestingness? I could be onto something here. Now if only you could project your own thoughts…
4 You Can’t Take Compliments
You have yet to take a compliment without being a sarcastic idiot about it. This could go either way. You could overdo how true their comment is, or say, “yeah, I look really great for an elephant”. But you just can’t accept it and you most definitely can’t say thank you. Unless you feel really uncomfortable with the person that dealt the compliment. Then, you might act really awkward and try to be normal…maybe.
But eventually, you’ll forget manners and be as close to yourself that you can be without causing a scene or “offending” someone. But it’s bound to happen sooner or later. If only there was a place you could go where everyone understood you and stopped being a bunch of pansies who couldn’t take a joke.
3 You Suck At Emotions
Again, you deal with pretty much every situation the same. There are two points to this. One: No one knows what you’re thinking. Two: everyone knows what you’re thinking. It’s odd. It’s like, you have a hard time hiding your emotions, but you pretty much hate emotions. Your worst nightmare is to be labeled dramatic. You really can’t stand dramatic people.
Some people think you’re dramatic, when all of the drama you portray is really just…fake. As much as you hate fake, all of your fake is for a good cause, right? After all, it’s supposed to be obviously fake. The thing is…you’re really nice. But no one understands that it comes from the heart. Every comment you make comes from the heart. You’re a good person with a good mind.
2 When You Meet Someone Else Like You, Dull Sparks Fall
There is this unspoken moment that happens when someone else makes a sarcastic comment. You feel like you’ve just met another soul mate. Finally, someone who understands! You nearly cry at the sound of their comments tickling your ears. You don’t even have to say, “good one” because they know and you know. The beauty is to not acknowledge their joke straightforwardly. Just to make an equally clever comment that you know won’t hurt they’re feelings because finally! Someone who understands!
You may immediately ask for this person’s number so you can have midnight meme wars. Or you may nod at them and be on your way, knowing that moment will last forever. You don’t need any more than that. What’s done is done. You can move on now.
1 Sometimes You Don’t Even Know What’s Real Anymore
Every sarcastic person comes to a point in their life where they don’t really know what is real. What is sincere. What is fake. What is a joke. It’s all confusing. Are you sad or cynical? Are you a realist who says it like it is? Are you mean? What is this emotion? This is too much to take. Some nights you lay awake, wondering about that meme you saw. Why did you like it, it was awfully cruel and twisted?
What are you? Are you a monster? Are you hiding your feelings behind a mask of sarcasm? When you start to feel like this, there’s only one thing you can do. You turn over to the other side of the bed, reach over and grab your phone, and show yourself one of your favorite new memes. Is it still funny? Yes. Yes, it is. At this point, you are free to go back to sleep in peace. Sarcasm still viable.