For most dog owners, sending your beloved pupper off to get groomed is simply routine. I’ve taken my older dog, Esme, to the groomer and asked for a simple trim. She returns to me all freshly trimmed and clean. No muss, no fuss.
Of course, not all groomers are as good as the one I take Esme to. Like anything else, grooming is an art form and not all groomers are created equal. I learned the hard way that it is SO easy to turn what should be a simple trim into a hot mess that will horrify the poor dog’s owner — almost to the point of tears. This ensures that their doggo is the laughingstock of the entire block. I had tried another groomer closer to my place, and my dog returned to me entirely shaved. She looked like a plucked chicken and I never returned after that.
Whether one is human or canine, both species will laugh AND cringe at the following 16 terrible grooming fails.
16 Beyoncé Would Weep For Mr. Poodle Here
This photo is the perfect example as to why grooming should always be left to a professional. The mother of the dog’s owner probably thought that she was making her granddog look “hip” like Beyoncé, Bruno Mars, or Macklemore. In reality, now the poor dog looks like a naked mole rat with a mullet/afro hybrid.
The Labrador Retriever lying down next to the totally shaved Standard Poodle looks like he can’t believe his eyes. “Tony my dude, what the heck did your grandmother do to you? Your haircut is so bad that I just have to avert my eyes. You’re going to be the laughingstock of doggie daycare.” “Sam, don’t tell me this! Grandma said she’d make me look like a pop-star but now apparently I look like an idiot. My dreams of appearing on Doggie Idol are crushed!”
15 IRL Funko Pop
I don’t know what is funnier — the fact that someone SHAVED A SIBERIAN HUSKY or the proud look on this dog’s face. He’s sitting there clearly thinking “Yea, that’s right, I am the man! Look at my cool mane, I’ll be the talk of the dog run with my new ‘do!”
Sorry buddy, but I don’t think your dog park friends are going to think you’re “happening” with that haircut. It is FAR more likely that they are going to burst out laughing and ask if he is the latest Funko Pop bobble head. I just keep picturing this husky prancing into the park all proud of his grooming fail while his head jiggles like a bobble head, and the other dogs roll around on the floor cackling (or should I say howling).
14 Dobby Is A Free Elf, Ya'll
The foolish father probably thought it would be HILARIOUS if he shaved the poor dog to look like an old lady wearing a luxurious fur coat but in actuality, it just looks like he tried to make the pooch look like Dobby from the Harry Potter series.
While I’m sure the dog’s owner is probably furious with her father for doing such a terrible job of grooming him, they should take this time to go the whole hog and make the pooch cosplay as Dobby. If they have an Instagram account for the dog and dressed it up as Dobby (complete with a sock), then there’s no doubt in my mind the amount of followers they had would TRIPLE practically overnight from all the Harry Potter nerds squealing over the real-life “house elf.”
13 Creature From The Black Lagoon: Part Two
Someone call the Syfy Channel because this dog would be PERFECT for a Creature From The Black Lagoon spoof. All they would have to do is throw on a fish costume from Petco and let the pooch roll around in some mud and voila! They would have the Pupper From The Black Lagoon.
All jokes aside, this dog owner has every right to be furious with the groomer. I get that this little ball of fluff was in dire need of a trim, but a good professional groomer would be able to make the doggo look good without simply shaving the entire body and leaving the face furry. Even the dog itself looks 100% done with its idiotic groomer and their terrible attempts at a haircut.
12 Chewbacca Laughs At Your Groomer
Given the fact that this doggo tried to EAT his groomer and has long, shaggy brown fur, I’m 90% sure that this little dude is descended from Chewbacca the Wookie from the Star Wars franchise. I wouldn’t be shocked if he reached behind his back to get a futuristic crossbow and growled something insulting in Wookie as the groomer reached for their tools.
Of course, Han Solo would miraculously appear next to this Wookie in disguise and say something like “I wouldn’t do that if you want to keep both hands. This little dude is Chewbacca’s grandson and he’s just as good of a fighter. Back off!” I can just imagine the hysterical groomer freaking out and calling this dog’s owner as Han disappears and they babble about a scruffy-looking nerf herder, a Wookie, and how their pet tried to eat their hands off.
11 Doggo's Expression Says It All
The look on this poor dog’s face is absolutely PRICELESS. It is probably a good thing that canines can’t talk, otherwise there is no doubt in my mind that she would be cursing @TheCutestTroll’s mother out.
I’m also positive that once @TheCutestTroll came home, this poor dog was ready to cry from relief. “Oh my god mom, you’re home! I thought you would never get back. Grandma is driving me crazy and now I look like a shorn llama. Do you think you can glue the rest of my fur back to my skin? Otherwise all my friends at doggie daycare are going to laugh and call me names; just like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Please don’t leave me alone with this witch ever again!”
10 Doofiest Poodle Ever
I laughed for five minutes straight AND almost snorted coffee out of my nose because I totally feel for this poor little Miniature Poodle. My older dog Esme is a Bichon Frise, a breed similar to the Mini Poodles, and one time her old groomer shaved her so badly that she too looked like a four-legged bobble head.
My little pal. Fear not because my Esme has been there and TOTALLY feels your pain. It baffles me as to why groomers ALWAYS seem to pull the “well, let’s shave them until they look utterly ridiculous but leave the face big and floofy.” How is that a good look for ANY dog? I can understand if the dog had an irresponsible owner that didn’t keep up with the brushing, and the poor thing was matted, but good grief, get some creativity people.
9 Simba, Remember Who You Are
All that’s needed is for a ghostly image of a lion to appear in the sky while a blue baboon with white hair looks on and urges Simba to “remember who you are.”
It’s cute when dog owners do funny hairdos like this for Halloween, but when it’s not Halloween? That’s when they get side-eyed SO HARD. The poor dog looks like a complete idiot and you KNOW there’s going to be some absolute twits out there who are going to kick up a fuss because they think it is a real lion that someone is walking as a pet. Given all the weirdos and drama llamas out there, making your dog look like Simba from The Lion King seems like a good way to ensure that you cause a ruckus when you go out for walks.
8 He's Going To Kill His Owner In His Sleep
The look on that dog’s face is a perfect example of sheer rage. His owner is SO lucky that this little pooch doesn’t wield the Force; otherwise I think Fido would’ve pulled a Darth Vader and forced-choked their owner for leaving them with a ridiculous little square on their forehead.
Even though Fido here isn’t a Jedi or a Sith, @CaylaRichmondd should watch her back. He looks angry enough to grab some scissors and chop off all of her hair in revenge while she sleeps one night. The resulting humiliation would teach her a much-needed lesson as to WHY we don’t jokingly shave off a piece of a dog’s fur and make them look stupid in front of all their friends at the dog park.
7 Stop Shaving Long Haired Dogs 2K18
What IS it with people and having long haired dogs like Siberian Huskies, Samoyeds, and German Shepherds? They have that kind of fur for a REASON and it’s really bad to cut it. Most of these breeds have a double coat that helps them stay toasty warm in the winter and cool in the summer; shaving them could seriously mess up that glorious fur. Plus, it can also make a double-coated pooch more prone to overheating AND sunburns.
As funny as a shaved German Shepherd looks, it is SUCH a bad idea, This groomer should have known better. We all remember the outrage over the guy that shaved his husky and posted it on Twitter; most professional groomers spoke out about it and noted all the reasons why shaving double coats is a dumb move. I guess this groomer missed the memo!
6 Look At My Shaved Butt, Ma
To be fair, if I were @Mariahseifert’s sister, I too would be yelling at my parents if they let the groomer shave off all of my dog’s body hair and left only a puffy tail and a mane around the head. It’s a DOG — not a lion, after all. This grooming job is almost as dumb-looking as the ridiculous styles they use for the poodles in the dog shows like Westminster.
That being said, this little Pomeranian clearly doesn’t seem to mind the fact that it is shaved and looks like a knock-off Simba stuffed animal. The little fluff looks pleased as punch with its terrible grooming job. If this dog could talk, it would probably have started yelling something about how they LIKE their new haircut because it’s “totes edgy.”
5 Looks Like This Dog Got A Brazilian Blow-Out
I can’t stop laughing at how BAD this haircut is. The groomer made this Shih-Tzu look like a rat that is high as a kite, yet somehow had enough money for a Brazilian blowout. The fur on the dog’s ears is STICK STRAIGHT but she’s got ZERO fur left on the rest of her back and legs.
The icing on the cake is that the groomer didn’t even leave a bit of fluff on the Shih-Tzu’s face, and now it looks like a demented rat. If I was @JoshPit40, I would have turned the car around and demanded a refund. No wonder the dog has such a disgruntled looking expression. There is NO WAY that should be considered a trim because it has NO FUR LEFT ON ITS BODY. Was the groomer drunk?!
4 Tyrion's Looking For His BFF: The Mother Of Doggos
Oh man, I CANNOT UNSEE THE RESEMBLANCE. I don’t know if the groomer is out of their minds or a total genius for making Fluffy here look like the canine version of Tyrion Lannister from HBO’s Game of Thrones, but it’s the funniest darn thing I’ve seen on the Internet all week.
I desperately hope the owner made a red and gold outfit for that dog. Heck, get Fluffy a blonde wig and a replica pin of the Hand of the King so that the resemblance can be complete. If this dog’s owner was a diehard GOT nerd, they could dress up as Cersei Lannister for a good laugh. Can we say epic Halloween 2018 costume? They’d definitely win an award at their local canine costume contest if they did that.
3 The Phantom Of The Opera Is Here, Inside Your Mind
Was the groomer inspired by Andrew Lloyd Webber’s hit musical The Phantom of the Opera because that is the ugliest thing I have EVER seen. If Erik the Phantom saw this dog, he’d feel SO much better about his facial deformity because it is nowhere near as bad as this terrible ‘do.
I don’t blame the owner of this dog for laughing until they cried because it is just that bad. There’s no fur left on this poor pupper’s face and you can see the liver spots on its cheek. Just wow. This has to be the worst groom I’ve ever seen and the ridiculous bow just caps it all off. I hate to break it to the groomer, but there was no way in hades that a stupid BOW was going to fix their terrible mistake of shaving ALL the fur off this dog’s face.
2 Send The Doggo To A Farm ASAP
After seeing the two photos, the resemblance is uncanny. That doggo should be sent to the nearest farm to moonlight as an alpaca until his or her fur grows back from their fashion don’t.
I can’t help but wonder if the groomer saw the photo on the left, which has went viral since most people thought it was a hoot to see a shaved alpaca. Did they think to themselves “I need to find someone to hold my beer because I can TOTALLY do one better. This little white dog is going to be my next experiment. This photo is going to go viral and I’m going to be famous.”
They became famous all right, but for doing such a terrible job at cutting this dog’s hair.
1 Bambi's Looking For Thumper
Seeing yet another double-coated breed get shaved down makes me rage. QUIT SHAVING THEM, YOU COMPLETE TWITS. All that dog really needed was a bath, a good brushing and MAYBE a trim. They didn’t need to go hog-wild with the clippers, yeesh.
Did this groomer recently watch Bambi and decide to make this poor Husky look like a baby deer? What's next? Are they going to get a small grey and white dog and make it look like Thumper so there’s a matched set running around? Good grief, if you want pets to cosplay as Disney characters, all you need to do is buy one of those reindeer antler headbands for dogs they always sell around Christmas time and bunny ears from a costume shop.